


Fallen Angel

by Nekokolove, ornithia



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor Has a Heart (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor Speaks French (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor has awful nails, Alastor has standards, Alastor is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor is in Hell for a Reason (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor wears gloves, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel Dust is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Wings, Angels are assholes, Angels vs. Demons, Animal Instincts, Animal Traits, Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Cannibalism, Character Death, Charlie is stronger than Alastor, Cooking, Dancing, Extermination | Purge (Hazbin Hotel), Fallen Angels, Gen, Illustrations, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Melons - Freeform, Meta, Mind Rape, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Multi, Mutual Pining, One-sided Alastor/Vox, Other, Overlords are petty, Redemption (Hazbin Hotel), Slow Burn, Sober Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Social Commentary, Soft Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Song references, Substance Abuse, WcDonalds, chimkin, hand-holding, pineapple on pizza, there will be SO many puns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:08:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 79,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26511166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia
Summary: No one expected Angel Dust to return to Hell mere months after his ascension into Heaven.But at least he gets to reunite with his old friends at the Happy Hotel,  hisrealhome. Including the Radio Demon, with whom he'd left off on a budding friendship, and the embarrassing crush he should'veneverconfessed.--An exercise in roleplaying brought to you by Nekokolove (concept) and ornithia (editor)CHAPTERS MAY FEATURE EXTRA CONTENT, DENOTED IN THEIR TITLE BY 🎨 (art) 🎵 (music/sound)
Relationships: Alastor & Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor & Mimzy (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor & Niffty (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor & Rosie (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne/Vaggie, Lilith Magne/Lucifer Magne, Valentino & Velvet & Vox (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 139





	1. The fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Charlie Magne  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Vaggie, Husk, Niffty

His last days at the Hotel were peaceful, and even a bit melancholic. He'd actually had the guts to tell Alastor of his romantic feelings for him. Only to be left without a response. Choosing to respect the obviously uncomfortable man's boundaries, he took his lack of a direct answer as a 'no' and accepted his rejection.

It wasn't long after that his body burned and his vision filled with light. He closed his eyes, and the next thing he knew, he was in front of dozens of celestial creatures.

Angel Dust ascending to Heaven was something no one had seen coming, much less the spider himself. And it had all seemed like a feverish d ream ...

It lasted very briefly - weeks? A couple of months? Until he ended up being kicked back down to Hell. Really, the other angels had seemed pretty pleased to do it.

He hit the ground hard, leaving an enormous crack. After composing himself a bit, he walked to the only place he could think of. And almost no one saw him ... **how fitting.**

* * *

"Why, that was hardly necessary, wasn't it!"

With a heavy sigh, the Radio Demon came to rest against a sturdy set of doors, bodily closing them shut in his wake - really, in the linen closet, of all places? It was hardly sanitary! Certainly, it had been the right call to make an _'example'_ of the culprit, lest the rest of the hotel get any "funny" ideas about the conditions concerning their stay here. _Still_...

"..."

A puddle of red began to ooze from behind the closed doors. Looking down at it, Alastor pushed himself off the wooden frame at last, painting cervine-tracks across the carpet with each step he took. Paying no mind to the crimson tell-tale trail, he withdrew a microphone stand from the nearest set of shadows instead, tapping it twice to bring it to life.

 **_::_ ** _Niffty, darling, have I got a job_ **_just_ ** _for y_ **_-::_ **

And that's when he felt it. The "news" hit him like ... well, radio waves, what else? Rushing through the conduit of his staff and into his very core, he felt awareness spread from the top of his antlers to the very tips of his hooves.

 **_::-_ ** _ou. Excuse me - is Husker with you, by any chance? It appears we have a "guest" outside. Have him see to it that he is made_ **_most_ ** _welcome. The bar can wait for him after_ _._ ** _::_**

He wasn't ready for this. Briskly, he made his way towards the lounge, to see, if nothing else.

* * *

The spider wasn't sure how he survived the fall as well as he did; it was probably his new angelic strength. But he managed to walk all the way to the hotel.

"Hello, guess who's back?" he mumbled. His eyes felt so heavy that he almost didn't see who had opened the door, even as he collapsed on top of them because his legs had stopped working.

It was Husk. " **What the fuck**?!" he exclaimed, barely catching the spider’s unconscious body.

"Princess, uh ... someone!" he yelled, trying to bring him inside. "You are not gonna believe this!"

Vaggie reached the end of the hall just then, and at the sight of Angel Dust, her mouth hung wide open,

* * *

"Vaggie?" Her girlfriend wasn't usually the type to be caught off guard. "What's going - oh, hey, it's Al!"

 _Spawn of Lucifer, this was_ **_not_ ** _the time!_ Alastor had just about made it to his destination when he nearly collided with the heiress of Hell herself.

" **Charlie**!"

Stumbling in his tracks, he skid to a stop before the princess, impatiently fixing her with a manic grin. "Do you _mind???"_

 _Huh_. "Al? What's going on? What's with everyone and - _ohmygosh is that -!"_

 _Ah, there it was_. Her demeanor changed the _second_ she peeked around the corner, spotting what the deer already knew lay just out of view. As swiftly as _he'd_ come, **_she_** was gone, though still within audible range:

"Angel? Is that you! Oh, _Angel!"_ -

* * *

"Hi, girls." Angel said, weakly.

* * *

"We missed you _so_ much, what happened?? We thought it was the last time we'd **_see_** you again - right, Vaggie? And then, and th-then .... _w-w-wahh!"_

Feeling all of his momentum drain, Alastor now hovered near the wall, unable to bring himself to take that final step.

* * *

"Here, put him here. How is this even possible? Hush honey, he is gonna be fine." Vaggie helped Husk to put Angel on the big couch of the hall, and smoothed over her girlfriend's state. She couldn't believe the spider was there again.

* * *

Oh, Charlie, ever-loving, ever- _caring_ Charlie. Who wore her heart like it was badge of honor upon her sleeve. She'd broken into hysterics again, and was undoubtedly clinging to someone in the midst of it.

"I-I'm just so proud of you! We **_all_ ** were, even -"

He pressed a hand over his mouth, feeling how his expression grew lax with reluctant emotion -

_Damn this deer body._

One leg stepped out hesitantly from the hall, while the other bounced on its heel. Whether it was eagerness to spring forth or pull back, Alastor had yet to decide.

* * *

"I guess they didn't like me," Angel mustered. "I tried, I really tried. But I guess I gave up at some point; I'm sorry, Charlie."

Angel could feel his body adjusting, his wounds slowly healing.

* * *

"N-No, don't be! You were _wonderful!_ "

Finding comfort in the arms of her girlfriend, Charlie took a moment to collect her emotions before pulling away reluctantly - she was a princess, darn it! And here was a subject, no - a _client_ , in crisis and in need! And she was going to do her best to help him, one way or another:

"Believe me, I've heard stories from Dad. About Heaven and how beautiful and bright and gorgeous ... but the staff? Pfft!"

She put on a silly and poor imitation of the one and only Ruler of Hell:

_" **'Why, those amateurs just don't know a good thing when they see it!'** "_

* * *

"I guess everyone flipped when it happened." Angel chuckled at Charlie’s comments.

* * *

Kneeling by the couch to be more on Angel's level, she took one of his hands into one of hers and held it protectively, while her other hand wandered, patting the spider reassuringly while also seeking any sore spots to - oh? "I'll search, you heal - I do have _some_ expertise when it comes to broken bones."

The Radio Demon had gotten cold feet during his decision, and so to compromise between his frozen legs and the unwavering determination he felt to see this task through, he'd chosen to materialize via the shadows instead. Behind the couch, to give his entrance as low a profile as possible.

Luckily for him, Charlie seemed to pick up on his wavelength. Trailing her gaze up from where their fingers had brushed, she gave her patron a reassuring nod and pat on the wrist before moving on to treat the minor but visible bruises on Angel's face first. "Just tell us where it hurts, ok?"

As gently as he could, Alastor sought the deeper injuries for the princess, starting with the nearest of Angel's limbs. _Why did the spider demon have to have so many, anyway?_ "Husker, dear, fetch us some whiskey."

Vaggie could lecture him on the evils of alcohol at a later date; right now, their "guest" was in need. And _nothing_ numbed pain quite like the distracting sting of drink.

* * *

Even Alastor appeared to help, but Angel just gave him a shy smile, unsure if saying something was necessary. He let his friends help him clean his wounds and readjust his joints. Even if he healed fast, some help was welcome.

Niffty ran to his old room and brought him some clothes to change the mess of rags he had at the moment. A simple loose shirt and shorts would be good to avoid touching his wounds too much.

"Thank you, guys." Angel felt he was back at home, awkward meeting or not.

* * *

Though he refused to look Angel in the eye during the process, Alastor did catch a glimpse of the damn spider's smile. It made the corners of his own expression soften, lulled by the comfortable intimacy of being surrounded by the select few he'd allowed to become close during this entire rehabilitation venture. Not that he'd ever admit it, even now as he worked in tandem with royalty on what was once a common whore. Their shameless, infuriating, most _admirable_ whore of a companion who had done the impossible and ascended to _Heaven itself_.

"Of course! You'll always have a place. Here at the _Happy Hotel~!_ " Charlie was in a much lighter mood, now that most of the task of mending had been completed. While she sung a small performance, Alastor stared at his hands, half-heartedly inspecting them for any signs of smite or scorch marks. He had just been touching former divinity, afterall - it wasn't exactly safe practice for _any_ demon to touch that which was considered holy. He stole a glance at Vaggie, and the eyepatch that partially obscured a portion of her face, wondering -

When he spotted Niffty with the change of clothes, he stopped her with the end of his staff, blocking her from reaching the spider. "Thoughtful as always, my darling - but! You don't suppose we should take him back to his room first, do you? Why, of _course_ you do!"

Oh, he _knew_ Angel had never had a sense for modesty. But it hardly seemed appropriate to just strip him down in the middle of the lounge. Cozy as they'd gotten, their little scene had drawn the gaze of all the _other_ guests of the establishment, turning them into an unfortunate spectacle. No, that _simply would not do -_

"Vaggie, if you wouldn't mind? _I'll_ take his legs, you handle the rest -" Positioning himself so that his back was turned to Angel, he took grasp of each of the spider's ankles and tucked them securely at his waist, ready to lead the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tags will update with chapters, so ... _**:̢:s̕ta͜y ͏t̴u̧n͝ȩd̕ ...̵::**_ 📻👀


	2. 🎨 My condolences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brunch in the garden leads to some insights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Charlie Magne  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Vaggie

Angel rested a long time, probably 10 or 12 hours. His sleep felt like a complete blackout. But given he fell from the sky after being beaten by those celestial bastards, it wasn't a surprise. He wasn't sure if he actually slept or ate in heaven, but he started to do it again as if he never stopped.

The next couple of days he slowly recovered a bit of his usual self. A bit playful, a bit sassy, **but still very tame.**

Charlie, Vaggie, and Niffty were great support. Even Husk seemed more gentle.

The one that he saw less was, of course, Alastor.

"Hi!" Angel said when he finally saw him in the hotel again and had the strength to speak to him.

* * *

Despite his best efforts, word had leaked to the public that esteemed-redeemed pornographic drag-queen Angel Dust had rejoined the ranks of Hell. Sure, it had only been a matter of time, but it had garnered less than flattering press of the Hazbin premises. By all that was good and virtuous Charlie didn't mention nor comment on any of it during their morning routine of coffee beneath Lucifer's portrait on the wall of her office:

**"It's fine, it's - just another hurdle. We've gotten through worse."**

Perhaps. But nothing quite on _this_ scale, with the lethal ability to maim and discredit all of their efforts to date. He found distraction in tending to their fallen angel, instead. Though he only hovered near the fringes, letting their other friends do the bulk of the support - he'd _rejected_ Angel, after all. Not directly, no ... he'd said nothing, in fact. But what else was the other man supposed to think? And besides, it would be _wrong_ \- he'd be taking advantage. Even _he_ had his limits, and he was supposed to be a _deals demon_. And loathed as he was to admit it, those limits _had_ gotten stricter during his relatively short involvement with the Hotel.

He'd just left the kitchens, a tray in hand, set to be delivered to Angel Dust when the figurative-devil himself walked right up to him. Alastor froze on the spot, feeling like he'd been caught staring into headlights -

"Why, what a coincidence! ... I ... what _are_ you doing here?"

_Because he lives here now, obviously. Again._ What a stupid greeting that was! Almost as ridiculous as the generic letters he's been delivering with the meals. Ranging from classics like "Get Well Soon!", "Feel Better <3", and "Happy Healing.", to "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you look like an ABSOLUTE mess!". He would _never_ again take creative input from Niffty wherever writing was concerned.

From the inside pocket of his suit jacket, the corner of the latest letter poked out, the pink color clashing with the rest of his red ensemble. Inside was written: _"My condolences."_

* * *

"Ah, I ... Just felt like going for the things myself. Haha." He rubbed his left primary arm shyly. "I do feel a lot better. You don't have to bother, really." he assured.

He prayed for no uncomfortable silence between them. He figured the best he could do was leave the subject of his crush in the past, and focus on what to do now.

* * *

He'd almost forgotten how much taller the spider was than him. It was distracting enough that he forgot to respond, until he realised the other fidgeting with his arms. Was he really the type of radio host who allowed dead air to catch him off-guard?

"Nonsense! You are a client and our ward for the time being. Now tell me, where would you like to go? The cafeteria? The garden? Perhaps Charlie's office, unless you'd prefer a visit to our friend Husker's bar in the lounge?"

He refrained from suggesting _'your room'_ , the phrase feeling far more intimate than he would have liked on his tongue _despite_ being the most logical of suggestions.

* * *

"Oh, maybe I can use some air. So the garden is good I guess." Angel guessed air and an open space was good at that moment.

Maybe due to some luck, the garden was empty. He wasn't the type to mind staring, but lately any demon that entered the hotel that wasn't from his close circle looked at him with a mix of fear and fascination. That was out of the usual norm of demonic lust or heavenly disgust.

He wondered how much time could pass before the press would start to harass him in every way possible. _And he also needed to find out what to do with himself from now on._

* * *

"I see. Very well then, _come along~_ "

The nice part about having domain over the shadows was that it gave Alastor access to manipulate the very concept of space, provided the space in question was cloaked in darkness. Luckily for him, the garden held plenty of nooks and crannies from which to emerge. He led Angel there through a seemingly random door which, had anyone else opened, would have revealed cleaning supplies. With Alastor's touch, however, it instead revealed the Hotel's rooftop on the other side, crawling over with the unusual plants that grew in Hell.

"Lovely sky, isn't it? Such a lovely deep red."

And nothing like Heaven's light, he supposed. He led them over to the nearby ruins of a bench and sat to one side with the tray in hand, leaving more than enough room for Angel to sit beside him. _If_ he so desired - it was entirely possible the spider would prefer to stay standing, restless as he might be feeling.

* * *

Angel was a bit surprised to see that Alastor didn't instantly walk away. He carefully sat respecting the other’s personal space and tried to relax; a light chat would be fine, right?

He didn't realize he was looking at that red sky he missed so much. But the light orb that represented the entry to Heaven made him frown.

**'Too much for misleading advertising. Screw them.'**

* * *

It was strange - having grown accustomed to Angel's incessant chattering in the past, it was unusual to experience him in contemplative quiet instead. For a moment Alastor watched him, pretending to scrutinise the color of his clothes while searching for anything he could interpret from body language. It felt less awkward that he'd expected.

"I suppose you must miss it."

He drawled in a non-committal tone as he leaned back slightly, just enough so that he could cross his legs in a gentlemanly fashion before balancing the tray on top. Whether he was referring to Heaven or Hell was left ambiguous.

"And I take it you found everything as you left it?"

He looked away, taking the moment to admire the seasonal thorns of the nearby briar patch. _How magnificently off-putting!_

* * *

Angel raised his eyebrows, snapping from his thoughts.

"Uh? You mean up there? Oh, no. **No.** Maybe it seemed like Charlie was just making me feel better. But I never felt more out of place. Not a big surprise, eh?" He gently grabbed the mug of the tray to sip some coffee.

"Everything was fine in my room, thanks. Nuggets is the only thing I would have really hated to lose". He tried to smile even if the subject was a bit gloomy.

Alastor would probably have questions, and that was okay by him. Being kicked out of Heaven was the easiest thing to get over at this moment.

* * *

"Oh?"

His eyes darted back, watching the other's movement in his peripheral view. Nuggets? _Oh, right - the spider's precious walking bacon_. Though it was best not to phrase it in such a way, not unless he was trying to provoke and inspire ire.

"There's extra sugar if you need it. Though I can't _possibly_ imagine why."

He was teasing, obviously, knowing his own taste for the darkest coffee was controversial in its own right.

"I'm not going to ask you what it was like - I don't find myself particularly caring beyond general, _morbid_ curiosity." 

And then he hesitated, forcing his smile wider in appeasement, though there was a trace of sheepishness to it.

"... And I'll probably regret asking, but ... just what **_did_ ** you do?"

To end up here. To get thrown back into the cesspool of Hell. It probably wouldn't take a lot but, still - it _had_ to be a story worth listening to, at least. And likely to be far more interesting than whatever nonsense they'd been fed about streets paved in gold and endless riches.

* * *

"To see you make a face, I guess," he said teasingly, pouring more sugar in it. "Well ... The short version will be that I pissed them off by stealing a bunch of things and ... insulted everyone in the process. But you know it’s too simple that way." Angel gave a slow sip and hummed, pleased.

He waited for Alastor’s reactions. Testing how much he could keep up his friendly chat with him.

* * *

"Stealing? That's _it?_ That's, ah ... that is, to say, I was _expecting_ ..."

His grin grew sharp in distaste, and he felt a visceral feeling of disgust lodge itself in his gut, riling up against him for the crude insinuation of his presumptions.

"... you know what, **_nevermind_ ** _!_ I do regret asking -"

_Because it was boring, after all!_ It was such a petty crime Down Below, that he had taken it for granted. Oh, how he could cackle at the very thought of their would-be slayers, falling over themselves over mere theft!

"- but wait. For **_whom_ ** were you stealing, exactly?"

For himself? Or were there other interested parties Up Above? After all, their king Lucifer was far from the only celestial creature to have fallen, Angel standing before him notwithstanding. A human soul may have flaws, but it was _designed_ that way. Ethereal beings, on the other hand ...

* * *

"Well, maybe I took a bunch of ... really old and sacred books. But to do that I had to take and hide a bunch of holy weapons first. The ones that you can't replace.”

_"They were all scratching their heads for a long time. Do you know that one angel that revealed the secrets of the stars? Yeah, they kicked him out for messing with knowledge. The bookworms were the worst, they think they are so damn amazing. They never really wanted me there, Al. That place is ... like an empty jewelry box. Pretty, but nothing inside. There is no difference between Hell and here. Except they are on the side of the popular guy. They hid their wings ‘cause "no vanity", they obeyed the rules ‘cause "good behavior". They only cared to brag about how perfect they were. I became completely tired, it was the biggest ‘Fuck you’ I could think of. It was only a matter of time."  
_

Angel sighed and sipped his coffee to stop his tale for a second before it got too long and petty.

"But their faces were priceless." he added with a weak smile.

* * *

"Sacred texts? Angel, you don't actually expect me to believe you know how to _read_ in your spare time, do you?"

He was joking; of _course_ Angel knew how to read. Though his appearance certainly didn't give any scholarly impression. He took a long hard stare at the spider, his smile shifting into the wry shape of a smirk.

"I might just be pigeonholing your role in this entire fiasco - you are a _spider_ , after all. But I'd be lying if I said you didn't remind me the slightest of a certain Anansi ..."

_Except you're supposed to be Italian and Catholic, if I'm not mistaken_. Seeing as Angel had yet to move onto the actual meal, Alastor took the opportunity to devour one of the links of sausage from the plate that lay waiting on his lap.

"Your meal is getting cold, by the way."

* * *

"Hey, give me!" He pouted reaching for some food.

"I can read, just not in a language that has been dead for like 2000 years! And I didn't want to read it ... Just maybe make them think I burned it. They had fun looking for it, practically crying for their daddy. When they lost their patience they beat me pretty hard and threw me out. I was too stunned and weak to fly, I guess." he shrugged.

* * *

"Hn."

Sliding over the plate on the tray, he relinquished the rest of the meal, savoring the bite he'd had as he thought over Angel's words. He couldn't say he was terribly pleased to hear about the beatings, but he tried not to let his concern show beyond a single crease between his brows; the spider was a mobster's son. He didn't want him to feel insulted or pitied.

"So ... you had wings?"

He glanced over at the demon's spine, wondering where wings would even attach with all the arms in the way.

"That would be ... hmm, ten limbs total ... what did they look like? Not exterminators' wings, I'd hope, those would _hardly_ suit you. What color were they? Were they bigger than Husker's? You know, he _hates_ when I touch them, it's such a shame, ha!"

* * *

"Well duh, they’re still there. I had to tuck them all the time. 'No vanity', remember? Don't ask me how that works. I tried to play by their rules, I really tried. But they made it very clear that I didn't belong there." Angel sighed "But you know? They’ve treated me worse, I could stand it. But the last straw? -" The spider demon closed his fists tight over his lap.

"The extermination. They told me they were gonna make me go. No matter my rank. They fucking enjoyed it." he hissed.

* * *

It appeared his attempt at lightening the mood fell flat. Turning to face out towards the garden. Alastor clicked his tongue in the soothing way he recalled his mother doing for him when he was younger.

"Angel, my dear - not to sound like the terrible spoilsport that I am, but I don't exactly _see what the problem is."_

Sure, he could understand the emotional turmoil of the situation. But that was just the way things worked between the two planes. It wasn't exactly a spoiler for most of the souls here.

"It's the whole point of demon-angel affairs! Now I'm not saying I like it, or that it can't be improved upon. But it is the condition of why we're here. We're sinners - we've led miserable lives! Day by dreaded day we've toiled, until the fateful day that we just **_had_** to take it out on the nearest sap! Everything got better - suddenly there's nothing to lose! Until we get here - and there's _everything_ to lose. All at the cost of a _single co̕nven̸i͞ent **sol͏u̢tion ̵in ̛l̵if̡e~͜**_ "

He could go on, but he had a feeling he would only continue talking in circles -

"It's not the worst transaction I've made over the decades - but I do feel it was fair. Why shouldn't I be smited? I know _I_ deserve it; I think we all feel that way, somewhere deep down. And yet, there's that **aggravating** humanity from our former lives that _insists_ that we thrive on, somehow."

And it was likely what had fueled Angel to rise to the rank of his namesake. This aspect, Alastor pitied greatly.

"But if it makes you feel better, I do agree that they shouldn't take such glee in snuffing out souls that were once alive and human, no matter _how_ defiled and corrupt. In that regard I think that you would have made a wonderful exterminator. Not like me, nooo - I'd be terrible! I think I'd enjoy it too much! Worse, I'd be smiling the entire time, too! No, I think being a demon suits me just fine as it is, don't you think?"

* * *

"You kidding? I was their fucking toy. They wanted to make me like them. They wanted me to obey their stupid shit until I was not really there anymore. Make me kiss their feet until I'd forget I was a demon once! But really you will never be enough for them, it’s never enough!" Angel raised his voice and slammed his fist against his leg.

A big FLOP! sounded, and white filled his back. His wings had come out, unable to contain themselves making Angel Dust froze in embarrassment. They were quite big, like a bird’s, and seemed puffed out in discontentment.

"Fuck, fuck, I just wanted a quiet chat!"

* * *

The tray went flying. Not that Alastor cared at this point. This was a _far_ more interesting development.

"This can still be a quiet chat if you just lower your voice. _Lik̡e thi͟s͝ ..!"_

Just for show, his voice went lower, all the way until it was just a soft hiss. Just like turning the volume down on an old radio set. When he continued to speak, it was in that same electric static whisper, eying Angel's wings with obvious amazement.

_'They really are bigger than Husk's ..!'_

He immediately reached out to touch the one nearest to him.

* * *

Angel groaned, covering his face. "It ... sometimes it happens. Sorry. I just wanted to talk in peace." Angel didn't notice Alastor's hand reaching for his wing, but the appendages stirred a bit with him.

* * *

Alastor stopped just when the feathers stirred, looking towards Angel's face to gauge his next course of action. When he saw the other was merely flustered and not in any sort of excited state, he pushed his hand the rest of the way into the plush feathers, marveling at their softness.

"Why are you apologising? My, you're _certainly_ much softer than my dear Husker, why I ..."

He felt an indescribable urge to press his face into the white plumage. He resisted, however - instead carding his fingers through the strong shafts of the long primary feathers.

"Do you preen them often? Or is it just because they're still new? It's funny - most people would be horrified to share a room with a flying spider, and yet, here I am!"

He chuckled, and as he did his volume returned to a normal level.

* * *

"They seem to just lose feathers a lot and then they just... vanish?" Angel allowed Alastor pet them. It was amazing he wasn't flipping out to being touched by Al. It seemed that his touching them just relaxed him, like someone playing with his hair. "I never thought about the flying spider thing ..." He chuckled. "It’s just I tried so bad to control it all the time. Hehe, it’s funny, I don’t think anyone else has touched them besides me, it tickles!"

* * *

"Hmm, you don't say -"

He would have continued like this, enjoying the casual playfulness. All up until Angel's little revelation that he, the _Radio Demon_ , was the only person other than Angel himself to have touched him in this way. Suddenly he felt the suffocating sensation of intimacy overwhelm him and he pulled away with a sharp jerk, clearing his throat and trying to disguise the awkward spell that had broken over him.

"Say, _Angel_ \- what do you call a spider with wings?"

He _really_ needed to stop compensating for his lack of emotional connection with _"pun"_ -ishments.

* * *

"Uh?" He got confused by the sudden stop. "Oh - How?" He felt the awkwardness but his mouth acted before his brain realized what he'd done.

* * *

This was too easy, it should be _illegal -_

"An AIR-achnid, get it!? Ha, haha-ha!!"

Obnoxious as his laugh usually was, it felt even more forced than usual, despite his genuinely creative and clever joke. Summoning his microphone stand, he used it to lever himself out of his seat, then leaned against it once he was standing, like an oversized cane.

"You know, I just realised - I should be getting back downstairs. Ever since your miraculous success story, the hotel's been a bustling busy-ness! Even with my generous staff at hand, our fine hostesses have been needing all the help they can get. Including _yours truly_."

He spun about just then, making it clear that he was about to make his leave.

* * *

Angel snorted. Of course it was one of Al's bad jokes! 

"Oh ... I wanna help, too! I better pick this up -" He recovered the rest of the poor tray. His wings finally obeyed and tucked themselves back inside. "Uhh, and Al? Thanks for staying a bit."

Maybe the right words should have been ‘ **Thanks for not erasing me from your memory forever because of my bullshit** ’ but that would be giving away too many details he didn't want to bring up.

* * *

"Ah, yes - of course. The _tray."_

He'd been _trying_ to make an escape - but no matter. The pretense of 'work' would at least suffice in diffusing the influx of discomfort. He watched as Angel went to recover the tray, and how his wings vanished to the sides - how _did_ it all fit in there, really?

"I don't know about you, but I feel I'd rather walk the long way back this time."

It would give them an opportunity to discuss what exactly _the_ Angel Dust would be lending a hand (or six) in. Heading towards the stairwell that led back inside, he shot Angel one last look over his shoulder.

"Make sure you shut the door."

* * *

Angel nodded and followed a couple of steps behind Alastor.

"I really owe a lot to Charlie and the others. But I don't know how to repay them ... I mean, I can scare the press away with my holy mace, but that would take 10 minutes tops. And Niffty cleans like a rabid roomba ..." he said, more for himself than for Alastor.

* * *

"A holy mace?"

Alastor snorted - he'd _already_ given the paparazzi a reason to keep their distance. The stubborn few that remained were hardly a threat, merely a nuisance. Their generous presence gave the more unhinged hotel residents a bit of recreation in the form of target practice.

"Hmm. I was thinking something more along the lines of dishwasher, to be honest. But that doesn't _exactly_ suit your image now, does it?"

What did one do with a deceased mobster, former pornography celebrity, dragshow star-turned-celestial angel, now fallen? A very _colorful_ resume to consider, for sure.

"But I'm _sure_ we'll think of something - hello, knock knock, don't mind me!"

Alastor barely paused to give a proper knock as they reached their destination. He simply walked straight ahead into Charlie's office and took his place by her desk while she continued to work. Paperwork was stacked throughout the room, a myriad of letters, records, and personal files on everyone who had walked into the establishment.

"Huh? Oh, hi Al - Angel! Hey guys! Did ... did you need something?"

From her chair, Charlie looked between the two men. Alastor, she could expect, but Angel had only just recently been re-acquainting himself with the premises. Amidst her lingering question, the Radio Demon stayed silent, aside from a pleasant tune he hummed to himself as he picked up the newspaper, skimming through the most recent events.

* * *

"Hi, Charlie! I was just talking to Alastor. There is something I can help with? It's starting to get a bit boring.”

Of course, any sex-related work was no longer an obligation. Valentino lost his claim over him when he ascended. Probably the only positive thing to come out of that. Now he had a lot of free time in his hands.

* * *

"Oh, yes, of course!"

He wanted to feel useful, how wonderful! It meant he was feeling better, and they could always use more hands. Hehe, _hands-!_

"Umm, let's see, we already have Niffty on cleaning duty, Vaggie usually helps me manage the finances and records, Al is, well ... _Al_."

The princess let out a resigned sigh. Alastor merely grinned as he kept reading.

"... oh! What we don't have is a regular kitchen staff. I think -"  
"I _already_ brought up dishwasher."  
"- huh? I mean, I guess that's part of it. But I mean, what about a cook?"

Her smile grew wide, revealing her cute little fangs as her excitement built up. Alastor looked towards her.

"Are you saying you _don't like my cooking?"  
_"What, no!"  
"Are you saying you don't like _Niffty's_ cooking? Because -"  
" **Al!** Angel, I think you should be our cook! I think it'd be good to have a regular set of meals. Not that we didn't appreciate everyone's contributions before. _Some_ more unique than others ..."

She shot Alastor a dark look, an order to keep quiet: "Husk is currently on duty for today, but I think if you were to go down and see him maybe he'd consider -"

"Ha, he'd be thrilled!"

She'd _tried_. "- _taking off_. And maybe go over and review some of the special menu restrictions for our residents with more specific diets."

"Ugh, vegetarians! Though I suppose they do taste better _after -_ "

Did he _have_ to - " ** _Al_** _!_ So Angel, what do you say?"

* * *

Angel’s features lit up.

"Oh! I can do that! I'm a bit rusty, but I will manage. Give me all the details and consider it done." He was already trying to form some options in his head, depending on what he could find in the kitchen.

* * *

Charlie nearly jumped over her desk when Angel accepted the offer, bumping her knee on the edge. She let out an excited squee.

" _Ya_ - **ow!!** I mean, _yayyy!_ Al, did you hear that! Angel's gonna be our cook from now on! Oh, this'll be so exciting!!"  
"Yes, yes, I'm sure it'll be _marvelous-_ "

Despite their earlier banter, Alastor was not opposed to the idea. However, he was currently distracted by what he was reading, thus his muted response.

"... Charlie, it appears we've been raising a cult this entire time, did you know? Well, _I_ was, but that's beside the point - _you_ , on the other hand! Using your privileged connections with your fallen father, how devious! And _our_ fallen Angel's redemption was nothing more than an elaborate scheme, a pawn meant to re-establish a divine connection leading straight to our happy hotel, hoho! Smitings, smitings galore! Why didn't you _tell_ me we had a mass culling planned, the likes of which have never been witnessed in Hell before? I could have prepared better for it!"

Casting the paper across the desk for Charlie to look over herself, the demon scoffed.

"Can you believe this? I'm an overlord - I don't _associate_ with the divine -"

And just like that, an idea came to him. Looking towards Angel, his grin turned sly.

"... I don't know why I bother to ask but, you don't have any weekend plans, _do_ you?"

* * *

**'We are doing WHAT now? Those assholes are worse than sharks!'**

Alastor’s question took Angel out of guard. "Uh, not really. Why?" He blinked. Well, maybe visit his best friend and his sister again, but that could wait. Making it up to Alastor was very important, too.

* * *

_Perfect_.

"No reason - mind if I borrow this?"

The question was a rhetorical one, as he went ahead and snatched the nearest pen on Charlie's desk anyway. Pulling the pink letter from his inner suit pocket, he scribbled a few details, along with a number of arcane symbols on the back for good measure.

"Meet me here ... and keep it a secret - _no peeking~!"  
_ "Alastor - _no!_ "

The last part of his statement was aimed at Charlie, to whom he winked. She in turn sent a very upset frown his way, crossing her arms in defiance as the Radio Demon handed Angel his instructions.

"I just want to chat with him, nothing more! It'll be tame, I _promise_."  
" _Nooo_ ... Angel!"

"And, it'll help our reputation, tarnished as it is. Think of it as a long term investment, no - a _'_ ** _theatrical endeavor_** _'!_

The princess continued to pout, nonetheless. It was obvious Alastor was only trying to appeal to her predilection for flair. But, as amicable as they'd become, there really was no trusting him blindly. One could only tug leash as far as they could _see_ , after all.

"Vaggie's not gonna like this ..."  
"Angel, I would be _honored_ if you could be my co-host for a special sabbatical edition of my programme. That is, if you accept my offer ..?"

He held out his hand, which seemed to emanate an aura of dark magic.

* * *

Angel felt doubt. He looked at Charlie for a moment. **Please Alastor, or play nice for Charlie’s sake?** He was indeed bored of doing nothing.

"Only ... only if it doesn't affect this place negatively." he demanded, slowly raising one of his hands.

* * *

Alastor cocked his head, eyes wide. It was hard to tell whether the surprise was genuine or just his usual expression. But then he rolled his eyes, and his tone held bemusement.

"Oh, _come_ now - why would I sabotage one of my own assets? Just because I like a little mischief now and again doesn't mean I approve of meaningless chaos. _Organised_ , on the other hand ... but yes. I promise you, **_Charlie -_ **"

He shot a look at her - a split second her frown had sheepishly turned upside-down. But it was far from happy - it was more nervous than anything. Maybe even a little terrified, really.

"- that _nothing_ bad will come upon this hotel. Or its residents. Not unless they deserve it, anyway. Do we have a _deal_ , then?"

He shot back to Angel, looking straight at him, his hand still waiting between them.

* * *

"That will be enough." Angel really could stand a lot of things as long as he was at peace with the few people he cared about. He really could feel his chaotic-self tingle in excitement when he shook Alastor’s hand.

* * *

"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

The dark aura dissipated the second their hands sealed the deal. Simultaneously, a black flame briefly consumed the pink letter from before, scorching it with magical properties. When it was done, the letter appeared unchanged. Except to Angel, to whom the arcane symbols were now legible and denoted a specific location and time.

" _Don't be_ **_late_**. _"_ Alastor grinned, smile stretched wide enough to display all of his teeth. Pressing the letter to the spider's chest, he immediately pulled away after, twirling his staff ecstatically.

"My, my, so much to do, so little time - I'm sure you can manage on your own from here. I _do_ believe Husker's waiting downstairs. As for _you_ , Charlie; don't bother waiting up - I've got _arrangements_ to make!"

And just like that, the Radio Demon was gone.

From behind her desk, Charlie simply gaped at the spot where the red overlord had dematerialised. Her expression had gone noticeably flat, too, rightfully concerned about what she had just witnessed before her.

"... just so you know, I **_really_ ** don't approve. _But_ ..."

If she really wanted to, it would probably be easy for Charlie to discern the contents of Alastor's supposed "secret message". Unfortunately, she also had morals. And _standards_.

"... since you're going to go anyway, I just ask that you don't 'encourage' him. Also - you **_have_ ** to tell me how your date with him goes."

Despite her efforts to appear serious and stoic about what was likely a reckless venture for everyone involved, the princess did seem to be a little _too_ coy with her words and how she phrased them. Distractingly, she began to rearrange the paperwork Alastor had disturbed in his wake earlier.

* * *

"Don't worry, he promised it. His pride will not let him break a deal - wait, my what? It’s not a date, what the fuck!" His short fur stirred a bit in the nearest he could reach to a blush. "Better hope he didn't hear you! I will go to tell Husk he is dismissed forever. **Because I'm gonna start now.** " He awkwardly left to find the cat.

Angel reached Husk who was more than pleased to let him cook. There were some meals to cook without meat, but that wasn't that much of a problem.

Inspecting the kitchen he got his hands on enough ingredients for vegetarian cannelloni, some other dish with actual meat, and he prepared a nice pot of sauce. He was gonna need to ask Charlie for some extra ingredients later, but that could wait. Cooking helped relax him and the smell of spice erased his nerves from the weird exchange between him and Alastor. He was really curious about what the deer was planning ... He just had to check the goddamn note at some point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. art by [Nekokolove/Akwardcat](https://twitter.com/AwkwardCatArt/status/1307723727975714819)
> 
> [ ](https://twitter.com/AwkwardCatArt/status/1307723727975714819)
> 
>   
> 2\. ~~yes i did steal that pun from transformers prime, thank you~~  
>  \- ornithia 


	3. The broadcast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glance behind the curtain ...
> 
> (***Rated M for 🍈-slaughter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Charlie Magne  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Vaggie, Husk, Niffty

As promised, Alastor did not return later that evening. He was also mysteriously absent the following day, and when he finally did show up the day _after_ , it was only for a brief traipse through the halls, collecting items from various rooms and dropping off a mysterious sack for Niffty to sort out. "A _surprise_ ," he'd called it, and was soon gone again. When morning came again, it was Saturday. At long last -

"Oh, it'll only be a few hours until showtime, why, - I'd better go and finish my preparations!"

* * *

Angel stumbled with the things Alastor had left for him at Niffty’s charge and reluctantly dressed and went out. ****

**_This just gets weirder and weirder, but it’s Alastor. What I was expecting, really?_ **

Reaching the empty nook of a place, he lifted the paper. "Ugh okay," he cleared his throat, "Justice is best served cold. ‘Cause if it was served warm ... it would be 'just-water'!"

He covered his face in annoyance. "... I can’t believe I said that."

* * *

" **Ha!** Bravo, _bravissimo!_ You're just in time -"

Alastor emerged from the shadows, clapping his hands dramatically and his microphone hooked loosely in the crook of his arm. The meeting location had only the scarcest of available lighting, and this served to cast a fascinating array of shadows over the pair, warping the radio demon's silhouette and making it seem as though the set of small antlers atop his head had grown. He circled Angel, verifying that the spider was indeed his guest and not some doppelganger.

"And I see _Niffty_ has done a splendid job, for her part; I bet it fits just like a glove, doesn't it!"

With the manner of a good-natured pat on the back, he used the end of his microphone to smack Angel lightly. He then approached closer.

"Now, just stand still - this might feel a bit _weird-!_ "

He snapped his fingers, and the shadows descended upon them instantly, wrapping them in darkness. When light returned, they were no longer at the crossroads - instead, they were now somewhere indoors. Somewhere cozy, with an unidentifiable hint of musk. And there were strange instruments strewn all over the walls and floors and tables ... was that a _mace?_

"Welcome to my radio station! Now, I had to do a bit of spring-cleaning, considering ... well, nevermind all that! Sit, stand, take a look around and walk, do what you will! We have an hour before we're live and I need you to get familiar with everything so I can explain what exactly it is we're bringing to Hell!"

He may have been putting on a performance of confidence, but deep down Alastor was nervous. Excited. _Excited_ -nervous; this would be one of his most ambitious plans to date! Not to mention that it would also be the first time he wasn't killing anyone on air. He wasn't quite sure how to feel about that part yet, but figured he could play it by ear.

* * *

Angel felt like he was being pulled while falling, except he wasn’t ‘cause he didn’t move a bit. He blinked several times and looked around; this place was something he had been hoping to see since forever. _A place that was obviously important for Alastor_.

He walked around, but he didn't recognize most of the objects around them, only a few items. It was way more welcoming than he’d expected. But since Alastor spent so much time there, it was kind of obvious.

"And ... what are we gonna do exactly, then?" He broke the silence.

* * *

" _Well_ ..."

Alastor watched the spider move about, half-wondering what the other would make of all the different doodads and doohickeys on display.

"Quality and genres aside - neither of us are strangers to acting. You and I, we _both_ have experience manipulating the public psyche to our very whim -"

He traced a claw across a desk that had seen many scratches since it had been introduced to this space.

"- and currently, that very public has some rather 'twisted' notions about the going-ons of our dear friend Charlie's "happy" hotel business. **_Very_ ** twisted, indeed."

He'd traced a sigil. Upon its completion, several buttons on a nearby panel lit up. Alastor walked over, fidgeting with its settings.

"And despite our combined efforts, it seems everyone is rather attached to this conspiracy of angels meddling in the affairs of demons; they don't **_want_** the truth, why would they? Nothing we could conjure here can compare to the mystery of the unknown, of the beyond-!"

Happy with the adjustments he made, he turned back to Angel.

"But you've actually **_been_** there. _You_ have certain credibility we haven't seen since, well - since biblical times! Lucifer **himself** couldn't debate with you over the facts. Because at this very moment, you are the **_single most relevant source_** on the happenings of Heaven. And so I thought - why **_not_** take advantage of that? Why **_not_** invite you here, allow you to co-host, and have you tell them all the **real** ' _truth'?_ "

Reaching under a desk, he pulled open a drawer to procure a bottle of gin and two small glasses, pouring out half-servings for them. It always helped _him_ loosen up just before broadcast ...

"You told me some very ugly things; the sort of thing that would freeze over Hell in a mass panic and perhaps 'motivate' the dedicated and willing to consider **_other_ ** options ..." He pointed up, the insinuation obvious.

"They may not have liked you there; alone, imperfect. _Different_ from their "lifetime-members" ... but a mass exodus from Hell? Can you **imagine** the disruption it would cause? They hardly expected you to show up in the first place and were unprepared, and for that, you suffered! But what if you **hadn't** been alone - what if you had had your fellow demons at your side? The strength to be had in numbers ..!"

He had to admit, it was a bit of a hypocritical tactic, considering his own distaste for "salvation" through fear-mongering in life. But he was a demon now, and the list of hypocrisies he'd committed since his descent to Hell were insignificant in the grand scheme of thngs. Besides, it was such a genius solution! He began humming to himself in his giddiness -

"Oh, how did Charlie's song go again?: _'We can turn around, they'll be heaven bound / With just a little time, down at the Happy Hotel!'_ , haha, **_yes_** _!_ Angel Dust! _Will_ you do me the honor of co-hosting so that we may bring "hope" to the Hazbin Hotel?"

* * *

Angel took one of the glasses, but Alastor’s words were very distracting to even sip the gin. 

"Are you telling me that we should just ... Make everyone aware of how fucked up everything is up there in hopes that demons redeem out of spite? Just to dare the celestial fuckers to kick them all out at the same time?" He laughed like the idea was a joke so bad it was good. "This is going to bite me in the ass, but what the hell!" He gulped the drink and left the glass on the table. "Let’s do it".

Nothing really worthy or entertaining ever sounded like a good idea most of the time. And Angel Dust had spent the last few months of his existence bored _to the core of his soul._

* * *

"Ha! I **_knew_** you'd understand -!"

Taking his own glass, he shot back the drink, before gesturing around.

"Now - Angel, allow me to give you a tour. **_This_ ** **-** "

He picked up what looked like the bleached and dried mandible of a demon (bovine? equine? _Did it matter?_ ) and smacked the side of it. An eerie rattling filled the room in an instant.

"-is the **_vibraslap_** _!_ We won't be needing it today, but it's fun!"

He slapped it again, before tossing it aside moving on to more relevant items in the room, going through them one by one as he demonstrated their use.

"... hah, hah! Bet you didn't know it was such a workout behind the scenes, did you?"

...

...

...

Five minutes 'til broadcast. Putting down the watermelon-covered mace, Alastor headed over the main station, next to the console. A matching set of headphones awaited them, along with a matching pair of microphones that sat facing across each other.

"Now, **_just_** as we rehearsed -"

For a moment, Alastor seemed to let down his guard, taking his place in his chair and looking over the headphones as he picked them up. Once upon a time, _this_ is what he had literally lived for ...

"... you know, it's been such a long time since I've done this the old-fashioned way. It's so much more convenient with the magic, but -"

The shadows began to chuckle quietly around them, in the style of a laugh-track if it had come from a live and ominous studio audience.

"- I _do_ find myself missing the more hands-on approach. Not that I **_don't_** have my hands occupied during these broadcasts ... but one can't exactly grow an extra pair of arms when needed - present company excluded, of course! Ha!"

He grinned at Angel, pulling on his headphones.

* * *

"Oh, I never got that one." he said sarcastically. 

It was quite a lot to take, but Angel would manage. **He had to**. He sat with Alastor, a bit stunned with how the demon looked in his element. 

_**'Stop it Angel, not the moment**.'_

* * *

7H : 05M : 47S

7H : 05M : 48S

7H : 05M : 49S

Glancing at the clock, Alastor began counting down the seconds. His hand came up in the last ten, his fingers providing a visual cue for Angel's benefit.

_'5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 -!'_

In tone much deeper and sinister than his casual tone, Alastor began, his voice as lush and as velvet as it was _harsh:_

"... Good evening, _'_ _ **deer** '_ listeners - did you miss me? No matter! Before we begin tonight, I'd like to take a moment to welcome a very special guest to co-host tonight's show. A friend I'm sure many of you are a little - ** _too_** \- familiar with. _One_ could even describe them as a genuine ' _Angel_ ' if I do say so myself **-** ** _ha_** _!_ Moving along ... would you care to introduce yourself ..?"

He nudged Angel's microphone closer to the spider, coaxing him to speak with a glance.

* * *

Angel was almost too fascinated, but he could react and speak on a microphone with his usual playful confidence. 

“Hi everyone! It's lil’ old me, Angel Dust, and I'm happy to be back down here! Alastor asked me to tell you all a bit about my trip to Heaven, **and maybe more than you would like to know**. Let me tell you it wasn't exactly a walk to the park ..."

* * *

Angel talked. And _talked_. Alastor's smile was broad and bright as he let his co-host take the reins with his vivid descriptions of Heaven. Meanwhile the Radio Demon kept busy, fetching and providing the various sound effects for the abstract tale ...

"... _well_ then! Until next time. **_Stay tuned_** _..!_ _"_

And with that said, the broadcast was finished. Alastor lay back in his chair, breathing heavily and looking quite the ruffled mess. Destroyed fruit littered the tables and floor. Dropping a cleaver, he let it hit the ground with a heavy 'thunk', and the blade sunk into the flooring with minor effort.

"That ... was a _delight!_ "

He tipped back in his chair, throwing off the headphones and applauded their job well-done - and caused his jacket to slide to the ground. He'd taken off earlier because it'd restricted his movement. Now, it lay soaking up juices, surely fermenting. No matter ... he had Niffty to clean up for him later -

"And you really went off in the middle there, too - it felt like you were ready to **kill** someone! Did it _really_ set you off, so?"

* * *

"I have to admit this was fun. I did go a bit over the top, yes." Angel wasn’t really surprised, he was the kind to let his temper take the best of him. That was nothing new. 

Alastor looked like a mess. If someone had told Angel radio shows needed to slash this much fruit before today, he would have laughed.

"But what can I say... It became personal."

* * *

"I wonder if you'd have felt the same way if I **_hadn't_** bothered with buying out the produce section of the supermarket ..."

He picked up the bottle of gin from earlier, pouring out a second set of glasses. This time they were full servings, a reward for a show successfully concluded.

"Go on - help yourself!" he offered, knowing the spider's fondness for drink.

It also doubled as a show of hospitality; southern-manners aside, experience had taught the radio host just how parched one could feel after speaking nonstop for so long and without break. And it seemed like the spider had more compunctions to sort out than **_just_** a dry mouth.

"Just take your time and **_breathe_**."

* * *

"Thank you." Angel accepted the offer and relaxed. He rolled his shoulders and neck, trying to erase the accumulated tension.

"I wonder how much time it will take." He questioned how much reach their experiment could have. 

* * *

"Well, that's entirely up to you, isn't it?"

He took a sip from his own glass, waiting to see what the spider would do. He was perfectly content to sit here and wait, as this was _his_ domain, after all.

* * *

"It’s so weird to see this place. It feels too normal. Not in a bad sense, I just don’t know what I expected, really. You already make everywhere your stage -"

Angel internally cursed his big mouth the instant he finished the phrase; **Can you just not make things worse for five minutes?**

* * *

"Ha, you _flatter_ me! Thank you! You were rather magnificent yourself, you know!"

Alastor always did welcome an ego-stroke; it was a trait common to overlords. Even _if_ the radio fiend preferred to view himself as different from the rest.

"Although, I'm afraid you are quite right - it **_is_** much too normal here, at least compared to what I'm accustomed to. But I _did_ agree to play 'nice' for Charlie's sake, no thanks to **_you_** -" he sneered, though it wasn't meant to be condescending ... maybe just a **_little_ ** bit.

"... you've never ****listened to one of my programs before, _have_ you?"

It wasn't an accusation; just mere fact. The day he'd first walked into the hotel, the spider had made his intentions **_very_ ** clear. The only way to do that was if someone had a death wish, or were simply ignorant. But then again, he **was** a **_spider_ ** -

A shudder ran through Alastor at several implications that came to mind in that moment. He cleared his throat to distract himself, trying to distance himself from the recent past.

"A- _hem_."

* * *

Angel only pouted. "Hey, I was just ... doing it for my own reasons. You don't throw stones at your own roof." he concluded. 

Even if that was true, he also knew the goddamned princess had made a place for herself in his sinful heart. 

"And maybe I did, once or twice. Just never realized it was you before I knew you. I can say I have been VERY popular, too, but ..." He tried to be subtle, even if he sucked at it.

* * *

Alastor looked away sharply, trying _not_ to appear flustered while attempting to disguise his discomfort with a sip of gin. He spluttered on it instead; _not helping ..!_

"Yes, _yes_ , I get it, we're not exactly **fans** of one another's "productions", _moving_ _along-!_ "

* * *

"See?" He smiled triumphantly. "Makes us even, don't you think? I listened to it a bit after knowing you. But I think I'm a bigger fan of causing trouble myself than listening to it second-hand. Besides, my work is in the past now, I guess. I had months to deal with it already. I don't think I will miss that. Uh ... except maybe the drag shows."

* * *

"Oh, **did** you, now? And what did I say, exactly?"

He leered at Angel, smirking in challenge. He didn't expect an answer, but that wasn't the _point_.

"I suppose ... the "drag show" doesn't sound too terrible, relatively speaking ... it's not so different from theatre. Or so I'm ** _told_**."

He'd walked into a drag show. Once. Maybe twice. He wasn't sure, actually ... at least, of the officially sanctioned drag shows that _weren't_ just regular cross-dressing citizens of Hell walking out and about. But he never stayed long - he never stayed _anywhere_ longer than was necessary. **Especially** in places where Vox's influence ran ramptant. What he remembers is mostly music and colors - and the rest? Business as usual.

"I do believe that would make us ... " _even_ ", as you say."

* * *

"Oh, it’s not in lots of ways. You dress, you do makeup, you dance and sing ... it’s really fun. Playing with the illusion of gender is the biggest charm of it."

He tried to remember. "I think you actually made me laugh once. One of the poor fuckers you brought on bit his tongue and drowned himself too soon. Now that’s what I call a mood killed!" he chuckled, then teased. "Curb-stomping would have been my choice."

* * *

It was ... nice. Hearing Angel talk about something that wasn't sex, or sexual in nature. The Radio Demon didn't realize he was staring until his ears perked up at "you" and he realized he was being teased.

"I made you _laugh?_ "

That was ... more than flattering. He looked down at his glass, swirling the contents. He enjoyed triggering an emotional response in an audience. But it wasn't usually pleasure. Huh **...** ** _interesting_**.

"... say. I've usually had _dinner_ by now."

They were surrounded by fruit in various states of ruin. But Alastor's appetite tended to be more visceral and carnal in nature. He flashed a very sharp grin at Angel, leaning forward -

"Aren't you supposed to be my new _**cook**?_"

* * *

Angels smile twisted a bit in nervousness. "Tell me I’m not on the menu, please. I bet I don't taste good." He tried to push away the idea that Alastor’s mischievous smile could be so appealing, even while it was threatening his life.

* * *

"HA! No -"

He pulled away, sliding out of his chair and in one swift motion, sweeping his discarded jacket off the ground with his materialized staff.

"Back at the _hotel_ , you dimwit! I'm **starving** -!" 

With a flick of his wrist, the shadows of the dimly lit space coalesced into his own, spreading out in a circle just big enough for the two of them to stand in.

"Well? What are you _waiting_ for?"

* * *

"Oh! Okay, to the hotel then? " He stepped to his side, waiting for the magic to work.

* * *

_Swoosh!_

Just like before, they were consumed by the shadows. It didn't quite get them all the way to the hotel. But the resulting difference was only a short walking distance, and nothing Alastor's quick trot or Angel's long strides couldn't make quick work of. Most notably, the paparazzi usually stationed outside were nowhere to be seen. As they got to the door, Alastor commented on this fact.

"I wonder if they heard. Or perhaps they're just hiding in the murk, too scared to reveal themselves in your 'consecrated' presence!"

* * *

"Could be both." Angel said. Getting inside, it only took a couple of seconds to hear a set of quick steps come towards them.

"YOU!" Vaggie yelled. "What did you two do?!"  
"Oh no, wait. It’s not -"

"I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR YOUR SHIT, THE WHOLE HELLNET IS TALKING ABOUT IT!"

She took out her spear and pointed it at them. "Maybe I can't kill you, but that radio freak is gonna pay," she said, aiming at Alastor very determined.

* * *

"My, what a _colorful_ reception! ..."

Alastor was no stranger to Vaggie's 'implied' threats of violence. He found her ... _amusing_ , to say the least. And she was just so easy to set off, how could he _not_ provoke her? It was always so _tempting_ -!

"Ha, I'd like to see you try!"

Granted, she had not been his sole target today. Nonetheless, it was wonderful seeing the effect the show had had on _her_. And she actually had the gall to face him now - how fiendish! How reckless, and so positively _full_ of moxxy! -

* * *

"STOP!" Angel didn’t thought a lot about what he was doing. He moved quickly and grabbed the spear by the blade. "It was my fault, you crazy bitch! I LET HIM DO IT!" 

"Let it go, _hijo de perra!_ " She pushed against her the weapon.

"PUT. IT. DOWN!" His hand bled a bit when hi tightened his grip. "Be angry at me if you want!"

* * *

\- oh. But he'd forgotten about Angel. And how the quick-tempered mafioso was more of a bruiser in a brawl, with a _completely_ different approach than Alastor's more quick-witted, quick-footed method of parrying strikes with illusion and insults. And he smelled _blood -_

"STOP. FIGHTING!"

Before he could say anything else, Charlie entered the conflict. She looked between Angel, Alastor, and Vaggie, looking _very_ upset at what she was seeing. And her visage was _hardly_ threatening (and by Satan, she was _trying!_ )

" _Vaggie!_ We **don't** point weapons at guests! And Angel - _Al!"_

She glared, still looking far too adorable despite her attempts. "I thought we had an agreement!" She faced Vaggie again, this time looking like she was pleading with the woman as she took her by the shoulders.

"I'm _so_ sorry Vaggie, I'm the one that allowed it to happen. Not Angel, not - look, I _know_ it looks bad, but he said it would help! It's not the way I would've gone about it, but -"

She leered at the Radio Demon, clearly irritated with him. She then looked back to Vaggie's face.

"But ... he hasn't let us down before! Yet! _Same difference_ \- and it's definitely messy, I know! But we can work with this. Somehow ... we've gone through worse, and **look** how far we've come!"

She shot a look over Vaggie's shoulder at the pair again, this time looking far more annoyed and determined than before. She gestured with one hand, almost menacingly.

 _Shoo! Get lost, get out of here, **go away**! _She'd deal with _them_ later.

* * *

Angel opened his mouth several times to speak. But decided to just walk to the kitchen in silence. There he looked for ingredients. The vegetables were chopped and the dough he made was mercilessly slammed against the countertop. Several hands worked on rolling and stirring. The cut in his hand was closing fast and only needed a bit of cleaning.

* * *

Watching Angel walk to and fro, Alastor had time to think:

"She didn't _have_ to do that, Vaggie's all bark, no bite!"

 _Not true_. He just **happened** to know the steps to their 'dance' -

"And frankly, I still think it's a perfectly fine idea. Their reactions are **proof** of it!"

The Radio Demon did **not** feel guilt. _Remorse_ , on the other hand ...

"... no, there's no way. Everything will be alright, I'm sure of it!"

The ends of his smile wilted slightly, visible concern as he watched Angel continue in his food preparation. The meal **he** had requested.

"And you! _ **Why**_ did you have to step in? I'm twice her height!"

 _And **half** her width_. He kicked his jacket away ... watching it flop over a pathetic few inches. He couldn't help it - it was _sticky!_

* * *

"‘Cause I agreed to do it." Angel said, tasting the rice in the pot, and placing the readied dough in the oven. "Call it however you want, it’s not like I didn't know what we did. If there is a chance someone else goes to heaven now, it’s gonna be the same crap over and over. They can kick me out of here, but that doesn’t change what that shithole is gonna do. Everything they do for the sinners will be in vain."

Angel finally mixed the rice in the frying pan with the garlic and the spices. Soon the bread would be ready. He sighed "And it’s not like she could actually hurt me with that spear." he sighed.

To be honest, Alastor looked a bit tipsy. **Weird.**

* * *

"That's not the _point!_ "

To be honest, Alastor **himself** wasn't sure what the point was. He sighed, dramatically ... and felt his antlers scrape up against wood. _When did he lean against the cabinets?_

"... what **are** you making, anyway?"

It smelled nice. He relaxed against the counter, tilting his head back and forth so that the points of his small rack raked low but audibly in idle patterns across the cabinetry.

 ** _This feels nice_** ...

* * *

"Risotto. It has cheese, vegetables, and cream. And we will have olive bread, too ... what are you actually doing?"

 **'Is he scratching the walls**?'

* * *

"Oh, _**this**?_ I'm -" He immediately stopped. "Nothing at all!" His attention snapped toward the doors when a new set of voices joined them.

* * *

Niffty entered to the kitchen in that moment, breaking a bit the tense aura. "Oh! It's dinner time? I can set the table!"

She was followed by Husk. The cat turned his gaze to the oven for a moment, which didn't go unnoticed by the spider.

"The bread is for everyone, Husky." Angel warned him.

* * *

"Ah, Niffty-darling! And my dear _Husker_ \- how kind of you to join us!"

He was genuinely glad to see them. He immediately fixed his gaze upon the cat, observing him and all of his details _intently_.

* * *

Niffty set the table, meanwhile Angel served the plates and sliced the warm bread.

"Tell Charlie and Vaggie that they can come when they are hungry, Niffty. There is enough for them." Angel said and placed the food on the table. Niffty went and came back, and then sat down.

**'It was inevitable. It would be weird if no one expected that I would screw up.'**

* * *

Alastor sat right beside Husk, keeping an eye on him as they filled their plates.

"Oh, Niffty, before I forget - for when you have time. My jacket suffered a bit of a mop incident; would you mind taking care of it? And furthermore, you did an **excellent** job for my co-host, splendid! _Always_ an absolute fan of your work!"

Despite lacking the generous amount of meat he was accustomed to, the meal itself was delicious. Alastor tore into a piece of bread, savoring the taste and texture with much gusto.

"Oh, why _**Angel**!_ This is wonderful!"

He'd had the spider's cooking before, but he was feeling generous with his compliments. He _also_ sent Husk a cheery grin, to show his good mood.

* * *

"It is very tasty, thanks Angel!" Niffty said.

Husk looked at Alastor, a bit weirded out. But he was distracted enough with the food. He didn't pay a whole lot of attention to all of the Hotel's ruckus, but if Alastor was involved, it was better not to know. 

Angel waived the compliments. **Okay, he is acting a bit weird. Who would have known he does this often?**

* * *

Quiet and sheepishly, Charlie entered the kitchen, leading her girlfriend in by the hand.

"Oh, excellent! Charlie, you **must -** "

Spotting Vaggie in tow, Alastor narrowed his eyes slyly at the woman.

"... _shall we break **bread**?"_

The princess _immediately_ jumped on the deer's metaphor, eager to make peace.

"Yes, let's! And then we can have a **proper** discussion of our plans. Right, _**everyone**????"_

She eyed the feuding party from just moments ago as she took her seat by Angel.

* * *

Vaggie allowed Charlie to do the talking for now. Angel simply nodded but still waited for more accusations and, well ... Could he really blame them? He limited himself to bringing some food for the girls. 

Niffty looked at Husk as he studied the faces of the other demons. _What actually happened?_ If Angel with his shiny new fallen angel status helped Al, there could only be trouble. 

_**'At least, for us'**_ , the cat concluded.

* * *

Watching the pair take a seat, Alastor took a glance around the table; except for the half-eaten basket of bread in front of Husk, they had all mostly finished eating. The radio demon figured now was as good as any to dismiss his staff:

"I'm sure you two have _**far**_ more entertaining things awaiting back at your stations than to be sitting here listening to the three of us discuss boring marketing and affairs."

Three, because only _three_ of them directly represented the Hotel.

"And Angel, of course - the cook needs to finish his duties, which includes **doing the dishes once he's done _feeding our princess_**."

Though perhaps _he'd_ assist with the drying. He made a shooing motion towards Niffty and Husk.

"Well then? _**Off you go**!"_

* * *

Husk grunted and grabbed a final slice of the bread before letting himself go with Niffty that wished them a good night and walked away.

Vaggie took a deep breath. "What you were trying to do?" She asked as calmly as possible. "‘Cause I can’t see how this is not gonna empty the hotel forever".

"If you think I did it to scare everyone away ... then, no. I’m not so fucking ungrateful, Vaggie." Angel said and stacked the cleared plates.

"I didn't ... But it still doesn’t make sense!"

"It’s funny, I bet when you try to **actually change things** everyone just helps you and gives you pats on the back."

"..." Vaggie’s lips sealed into a tight line. She promised to calm down, and Angel just gave her more to think about.

* * *

Charlie kept her hand on Vaggie's, giving it a light squeeze and rubbing soothing circles across it. _'Let's hear them out.'_

"Explain." she demanded, making a fist with her free hand and resting her chin against it in thought.

Rolling his eyes, Alastor gave a sigh. "I don't see why when we - _he_ already did. But if you insist-"

Charlie switched her gaze from Angel to Alastor, looking unamused. She waited.

"I ... was wrong. About what I said the first time I walked in here. That this whole hotel business was nothing more than a joke with a bad punchline. Because in fact, it's _much_ worse!"

Charlie's frown grew. She looked like she wanted to cry. Alastor leaned over into both her and Vaggie's space, stroking her hair like the parody of an affectionate father figure that he sometimes was.

"But - it's not what you think! You see, all along we thought it was Hell that was laughing at you. But then you performed _a miracle -!_ " He gestured towards Angel, grin wide. Subject 0, their first success story and a breakthrough in their social experiment. "The second he left our lives, personally escorted up into High Heaven, the tables turned. Clients came pouring in by the _dozens-!_ "

Charlie had to admit, this part was true.

"Until he came back. And why do you think that is? When you and he did **everything** right; what you were **_supposed_ ** to do? Well, you don't have to guess, because you heard it straight from the spider's mouth, himself! And I've personally had the misfortune of hearing it _twice_ , now." He leveled his gaze at Vaggie this time, to get their point across.

"I know it may be hard for a damned soul to hear, when you're trying **so** hard to pass off as a model citizen - but it takes a **demon** to win over our kind. _**Sins and all**."_

He straightened up, fixing his collar. "They don't want us. **Never** did. They **spat** in the face of our efforts, and all for what? Pride? Hah! - what is pride but the seventh deadly sin, and the most fatal of flaws? Your father would know; he _invented_ it, Charlie -"

Charlie. Sweet, lovely, _hybrid_ Charlie.

"- and yet, it was your _mother_ who perfected it, wasn't it? Our _**human**_ queen, Lillith - it was **she** who won the heart of a fallen angel with her pride! And you were born from that union, Charlie. A perfect little angel, fully adorned with _demon horns and all!_ "

She'd be lying if she said Alastor's speech wasn't having an effect on her. She didn't have ... the closest relationship to her parents. The deer probably **_was_** the closest thing she had to a paternal figure in her life right now. But she _had_ also witnessed the love her mother and father held for each other - and it was _**genuine**_.

"... okay. But what does this have to do with redemption?"

Alastor gestured towards Angel, using him as their example.

"You helped redeem a **demon** , Charlie. But you failed to account for the **_angels waiting for him on the other side_**. They beat him, **brutally** and without cause. They don't **_want_** former demons in their midst - hell, they don't even want Lucifer back, and he's technically still one of them! But - _what if we took a page **from** **Lillith's** book, instead?_"

He made a heart shape with his fingers: "Do you think Heaven can learn to love us? Just as Lucifer learned to love Lillith, once upon a time - all we'd need is a little _pride -_ "

His hands suddenly flit about, spreading open in a jazzy-flourish. "With it, we can unite _Hell_. And then - we can unite with _**Heaven**!"_

* * *

**'You son of a bitch, I think you are achieving it**!' Angel realized, trying to keep his face neutral. 

Vaggie looked at the two men. Of course, she will never completely buy what Alastor said. But what other choice did they have? There was no doubt about redemption now, only that there was also no guarantee of anything else. But why was Alastor actually encouraging humanitarian solutions?

 **'Sounds like we have to do it anyway if we want to keep the hotel going. We are gonna be a joke if everyone ends up the same as Angel**.' She nodded at Charlie.

* * *

"I ... I guess."

There was a logic to it, _after all_. It was an uncomfortable set of conclusions, but nothing was ever easy when it came to goodness. She'd give it a try.

"Ok. We'll do it." She leaned against Vaggie, seeking comfort in her presence. There was one _other_ thing ...

"... do you still have dessert? It smells like fruits - I really think I need a de-stress after all of that."

Alastor _wheezed_.

* * *

After making some sweet doughy treats, ' **cause what the hell, we need it**!, Angel sighed in relief when the girls retired. He was exhausted at that point. He sipped the remains of his coffee in his mug and washed the remains of their dinner in the sink. 

"We did it."

* * *

"I can't **believe** it worked as well as it did. I thought for sure she would at least try to **bite** me!"

He was, of course, referring to _Vaggie_. Drying the dishes as Angel washed them, and then putting them away, the radio demon looked thoughtful as he re-adjust his drying rag.

"All that's left now is to wait and see -"

 _And wash up_ , in his case. Niffty had taken his jacket away per his instructions, but he was still wearing his shirt, which had _not_ been spared the splash radius from his passionate destruction of melons. And it was starting to itch, to the point that he'd pulled up the sleeves up to his elbows, just to relieve the sensation. It would be the next item on his agenda, for sure.

"-and I can't **wait** to see the look on Vox's face when he realizes this is going to **_devastate_** his ratings."

* * *

"I’m not gonna let her bite me for you, too. I draw the line there" Angel said between joking and seriousness. "You still smell like a tropical cocktail."

Saying bye to Alastor, Angel went to bed. His beloved pig received him and cuddled at his side. Tomorrow he could look on social media and see what all the rest of Hell would be saying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those of you not familiar with the vibraslap: [modern version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhbwGHuYR-Y) and the [the OG jawbone version](https://youtu.be/ISGGDsB-fCw)  
> ALSO i did a thing this weekend [[ which i will clean up and rerecord at some point ]](https://twitter.com/ornithia_tsen/status/1310092158892941313)  
> \- ornithia


	4. Half-baked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is nothing like chatting over a meal to get words rolling. Charlie & Co. discuss the aftermath of the radio show ... with drama for dessert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Charlie Magne  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Vaggie, Lucifer, Lilith

The next day Alastor sat calmly in Charlie's office, perusing headlines from a stack of various publications. As he read, he sipped a dark cup of coffee, idly turning pages every now and then.

"My oh _my_ , what have I wrought!"

> **'FUCK HEAVEN. YOU THINK YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR US?'**
> 
> **'Redemption: Not just for Snivelling Bitches Anymore.'**
> 
> **'Angels Dicking Around.'**
> 
> **' _Angel's_** **Dicking Around -'**

**_'Nope_**.' He tossed _that_ particular article aside -

> **‘The Appropriation of Pride and How To Reclaim It.'**
> 
> **'Why the Fuck Not? An Essay on Something So Stupid It Might Just Work.’**

From beside him, Charlie tried to remain optimistic. "At least everyone seems excited about ... **oh**."

The princess had just picked up the discarded magazine spread, and she gaped at it for just a second, before she put it back down again just as quickly. Attempting to refocus, she then stared up at her father's portrait, and decided she ought to sort her thoughts.

"Maybe ... I should talk to Mom. Get some insight, or _something_."

* * *

Vaggie entered the office. "I told you. It has been the trending topic for, what? The last 24 hours?"

She was followed by Angel. "Well, I can't deny it." he said. His wings were present for only a moment, but seemed to disappear when he entered the room. He felt the need to stretch them a bit in the mornings.

" **#fuckyouheaven** only gets this busy around extermination -" He kept looking at his phone. "- and ' **#hazbinhotel** seems to have gotten very popular, too." He reclined, and rested one hand on the desk.

* * *

Alastor did not engage with the Hellnet; however, he _did_ recognise its value as a tool.

"Ohhh, tell me more! I want to hear _all_ about it!" While he eagerly awaited more trivial updates from Angel, Charlie turned to Vaggie in silent greeting.

* * *

"For starters, some of your fans were generous enough to record and digitalize the show for posterity. I bet it is the most shared thing on the topic. Then there are things like ' _I'm considering giving the princess’ hotel a visit_ ' getting a lot of positive feedback, like ' _I'm gonna force the heavenly Mean Girls to let me sit with them_ ', ' _They said nothing new, but what a slap in the face! Someone has to show those angels a lesson in being a good loser_ ' -" Angel scrolled down his phone.

"Basically, that ..." He decided to spare the gossip surrounding what kind of relationship he might be having with Alastor. No need to piss off the deer. And it was probably because no one but Alastor usually came back from his shows in one piece.

**'I guess I should feel honored.'**

* * *

_"Yes_ , perfect! Everything, falling into place as we speak. At this rate we'd better start preparing more rooms, pronto - there's no telling how many new guests we'll be accommodating!"

At least Alastor seemed to view this as a victory. That was as reassuring as things were going to get for now, like it or not.

* * *

Vaggie knew Charlie was going to need to talk to her family at some point. "Hon, what are you thinking?"

Angel Dust also looked at the princess. Would Lucifer want to talk to him and Alastor, too? Hard to know. The king of Hell could have manifested the instant the radio show ended, and he didn't.

* * *

"That it's been a while since I visited home. It's not that I don't like it, it's just ..."

The demon aristocracy was an entire politics unto itself. They hadn't exactly forgiven her for how she'd snubbed and made fools of her hellspawned suitors, all in order to court a damned _human_ , of all things. And it hadn't reflected well on her family connections, despite her father's ultimate authority and lineage.

"Whenever I try and call I'm lucky if I can even leave a message on the answering machine. I need to actually **_talk_ ** to them, if we're going to get anywhere with this."

* * *

"I'm pretty sure this time they will want to listen you," Vaggie assured, "This is too out of the ordinary to ignore."

* * *

"... yeah, Vaggie, you're right. Heh - guess I better schedule a pick-up with the ol' Razzle 'n Dazzle -"

She made a silly face, for her own amusement, before she sulked again. The sooner she could get this over with, the better. In a last ditch effort to get a pick-me-up, she drained the coffee from her puppy-unicorn mug, slamming it onto her desk once she was done.

"Right! We have a mission to accomplish! For my people's sake, we are going to save Hell, one way or another!"

Completely ignoring the princess, Alastor had now moved over to stand nearer to Angel, attempting to peer over his tall shoulders.

"Does it say anything about Vox? I want to see if he's throwing a _fit_ yet -!"

* * *

"Well ... That's the weird thing," Angel said in amusement. It was obvious Alastor would want to be a pain for Vox. 

"There is nothing from his official site in the last few hours. And he is the type to post like crazy all day. No comments about it or any other topic. Like he is trying really hard ... But that's just my opinion." he concluded.

* * *

"I **_see_**."

He didn't, but that was because Angel was _too tall_.

"No matter; we have more urgent matters to tend to. Like _breakfast!_ "

* * *

"That's actually a good idea! Who wants scrambled eggs?" Angel asked, raising his hands in the air.

"Let's eat something. You can call them later, Charlie. I will be there with you if you want." Vaggie suggested.

* * *

"Oh, _good!_ " _Anything_ to get her mind off the topic.

* * *

Angel hurried to the kitchen before the others, and in a second he had eggs made. Some had spice, others onions and cheese. Some toast to complement the meal was put on the table as well. He had to hope for the best if Charlie was going to talk to her dad. Lucifer couldn't be **that** pissed if he wasn't already asking for his head on a spear.

* * *

Alastor eyed the meal selection, carefully considering his options. He eventually settled on one of the spicier plates, and took his seat beside Charlie, who was currently working away at a slice of toast she had swiped from Vaggie's plate.

"You _clearly_ have a knack for this." He commented, addressing Angel whilst he brought a forkful of egg to his lips.

"However, I don't think it would hurt to consider a few suggestions. Every now and again, of _course_."

As he took his bite, he appreciated the flavor - it could use more spice, but it was not necessary.

* * *

"Well, a good artist is open to suggestions." Angel said smugly. But he lived for compliments. No harm in updating his cooking game.

"It's good." Vaggie admitted. "No need to stroke his ego."

* * *

Alastor flashed Vaggie a _very_ manic grin and glare - he was not stroking _anything! Ever!_

In the meantime, Charlie finished her toast. Perking up, she wondered aloud with her rhetorical thoughts.

"Do you think I should bake an apple pie? Dad's _always_ had a thing for apples, maybe it would help smooth things over ..."

* * *

"Hey! If telling the truth is a problem -!'' Angel complained. But the short exchange was too pacifist to be a dispute. 

"And I can also make a really mean apple strudel."

* * *

"Would you teach me? _Pleeeeease?"_

Charlie fixed Angel with one of her famous starry-eyed puppy-dog expressions.

* * *

"Oh well, since you asked so nicely!" Angel played along. "No need to bring out the heavy weaponry." 

Vaggie tried to ignore Alastor and only hoped Charlie paid enough attention so that she did not burn the dessert.

* * *

Charlie was _beamed_. "Yayyyy! ... how do we start?"

\--

Once he'd cleared his plate, Alastor left the kitchen. He figured the others would entertain themselves for a while, teaching the princess how to bake.

Right now, however, he had _intel_ to collect. Making his way down to the lobby, he headed straight for Husk's bar, waving to the demons he passed before he finally reached one of the stools He daintily took a seat, and teased him, per his usual.

" _Husker_ , my boy! I see you're up and early - enjoyed that _bread_ last night _,_ did you?"

* * *

"Didn’t everyone?" Husk refuted. "What do you want now?" he said, placing some bottles in a cupboard behind himself.

Saying that Angel’s cooking was pretty good didn't seem like the point and wasn't really worth the effort in his mind.

* * *

"Why Husker, that's _hardly_ the way to greet an old friend!"

He did _so_ love their bantering quips. But, alas! There was a goal to be achieved, and he could _not_ afford to lose focus!

"I wanted to ask, seeing as you occupy a _very_ privileged position in this otherwise dry establishment - if you've heard any 'news' within the past 24 hours?"

He leaned forward, so he could lower his voice. He didn't need imps lurking in the shadows spreading misinformation without _his_ seal of approval, _first_ ...

"Something _other_ than the controversy we unleashed last night. Reactions, perhaps? Theories, superstitions? Anything you think feels out of place? I need to know what avenues we have at our disposal, so that I may twist and _bend_ them to my liking."

* * *

"Beside the constant repetition of what Angel said on your show?" Husk sat, a paw on his cheek and another holding a bottle. 

"Hum, lots of demons see no point in redemption if they're going to get treated like shit like here already. But others think it should be possible if Angel Dust ..." He grunted waving his paw, **that was too obvious.** "There are also tons wondering what you actually fucking want from this. Gain the favor of a fallen _angel 'just because'_ don't seem like you. They wonder if he is as strong as Lucifer now. There's theories about declaring a war on Heaven. Since Charlie is linked to Lucifer and you to the spider and everyone seems to be friends ..."

* * *

"Well of _course_ it's not **just** ' _because_ ' - there's _entertainment_ in it! Oh, but you wouldn't understand-"

 _Angel might_ . He went quiet a moment, replaying last night's events; were they really all friends? Husk and Niffty were under his contract, and so were obligate in their loyalty to him. And Charlie ... _well_ . She was a special case, to say the least - it was painfully obvious that Lucifer hadn't exactly been a quality father, if the girl so easily latched onto Alastor as if he were a surrogate. But he had _rejected_ Angel Dust. And _still_ -

"- I haven't been neglecting you, have I, my dear? And here I thought surrounding you with alcohol was the very _height_ of luxury -"

Without so much as a warning he reached over, pulling the cat halfway over the bar's counter and into an enthusiastic one-armed embrace.

"Worry not! I will make it up to you! But in turn, all I ask is that you keep an eye out and an ear on alert. _Pounce_ on whatever rumours you find festering the _second_ you spot them, and bring them back to _me_. How's that sound!"

He also gave the underside of Husk's fuzzy chin an affectionate scritch, for good measure.

* * *

"Do I have a choice? And stop that!" Husk pushed him away.

**-.-.-**

Showing Charlie how to bake was not that hard. Chopping and mixing the apples was easy enough. But every time the dough changed or stuck a bit too much, she looked at Angel with her 'puppy in the rain' eyes.

"There!" Angel shut the oven, concluding the 'lesson'. "It should be done In 40 minutes. You can put sugar on top, and it is very good with ice cream, or simply a coffee."

From her place on the table, Vaggie was looking at her phone, "Hey Angel, have you noticed the tag **#hellshottestcouple** talking about you -"

She didn’t get to finish her sentence, because Angel suddenly pressed several hands over her mouth.

"TCH TCH! Are you crazy?!" he hissed, warning her. "If Alastor hears, he is gonna lose it!"

* * *

"40 minutes, yessiree!"

She would not screw this up! She. Was going. To bake. A pie! (Even if Angel had contributed most of the real work). She clapped her oven-mitted hands, eagerly waiting for the magic to unfold -

"..."

Except 40 minutes was a _long_ time. Even for a century-old princess of Hell. Feeling her mind wander, she glanced around, looking for a source of distraction. Luckily for her, her girlfriend was able to provide one almost immediately. Charlie shot up and away from her place in front of the stove -

"OH, THAT'S **RIGHT** \- I _mean-!!"_

In an instant she had joined with Vaggie and Angel, baker's apron swept all the way around her waist from her mad dash. In hushed, conspiratorial whispers, she commenced her interrogation:

"You were **_supposed_** to tell me about your date - can you believe they went on a _date,_ Vaggie?? And I _saw_ it, right in front of me! It was _sooo_ obvious-!! So??? How did it go??? When was it, _where_ was it, _how_ was it-

She was still upset at all of the unnecessary attention the two men had brought to her precious passion project, of course. However, that didn't mean she was blind to the subtle shift in the tone of their relationship. The awkward attempts at interaction since Angel's return - and the desperate and sad gestures on Alastor's behalf to connect. The mile-long stares that stretched out for _days_ between them when they thought no one was looking -

Ok, so _maybe_ she was exaggerating some of it. Fair enough! But this was also retribution, and she was going to make them _squirm_ for putting her in this position to begin with. _Starting_ with the nearest one.

* * *

"IT. WASN'T. A. DATE." He said as low and as slow as he could "He is not interested in me, for Hell's sake! And you two better not let any of this slip in front of him! I have enough trouble trying not to scare him away by ..." 

"By being you?" 

"Yes, _thank you_ Vaggie." Maybe it was filled with sarcasm, but it was so true, in part.

Alastor wasn't exactly pleased by his hypersexual nature. It was true Angel tamed a lot of his habits even before the Heaven incident. But he was still himself, he made sexual jokes, he liked getting laid, and had no shame most of the time. His brain already felt odd by the lack of sex at this point, but surprisingly he didn't find himself wanting to do something about it. 

**_'That will open a whole new can of worms.'_ **

* * *

"Yeah, _right!"_

Charlie was sure of what she had seen. She was _adamant._

"You've known The Radio Demon just as long as I have, Angel - have you _ever_ seen him personally deliver breakfast to any of the other hotel residents? For 5 days in a row. Complete with sweet, _thoughtful_ notes-"

Of course Charlie hadn't thought the generic letters cheesy. _She_ was cheesy -

"- and he used the _last_ one to write out an invitation. For your _date_. Vaggie, tell me what you think -!"

Putting on her best Alastor-impression, she eyed her girlfriend with the demon's seductive stare:

"... you don't have any weekend plans, _do_ you?"

And while she didn't have a letter, she _did_ have oven mitts. She pulled one off, presenting it to the other woman in offering -

"Meet me there. Tell no one. And **don't** be late -!"

\- and pressed it into her chest, where Angel's fluff would have been. Ebbing close and then pulling away in that teasing way their absent male friend had when invading people's personal spaces. She ended her performance immediately after, taking a quick bow right before pulling up straight and pointing an accusing finger at the spider.

"And if **that** wasn't enough, what about that whole speech he gave last night? Yeah, I **know** he was trying to use my parents against me, nice try ... but "love" as a topic, _really?_ It seems a bit too on-the-nose, don't you think? And he keeps throwing compliments your way ever since we got you reinstated in the kitchen. I _know_ you're good but you're not **that** good - no offense."

She held her hands up defensively - she _did_ still need his help to finish the pie, after all!

* * *

Vaggie snorted at her girlfriend's impersonation. The whole exchange was priceless.

"Well ... I ... Ugh!" He sat in a chair, covering his face, defeated "Charlie, I don't do dates! ... And I'm pretty sure he already said no." he mumbled.

"If you mean offering him your _services_ that hardly -" Vaggie started.

"I'm not that stupid!" Angel glared at her.

"Okay, I'm sorry." She raised her hands "You told him you liked him for real, no beating around the bush, then? And he said no?" 

"He kind of went silent and… walked away." Angel traced a finger on the table that suddenly seemed very interesting.

"Oh ..."  
"Yeah ..."

* * *

"You don't do dates. _He_ doesn't do 'services'. Maybe you're not so different, after all."

Two types of intimacy, as different as can be. But _mutual_ intimacy, nonetheless. She steered the topic of conversation into a slightly different direction, focusing it more on her own upcoming battle.

"... y'know, I started doing my own research last night. To try and understand a bit more about my parents."

Who were _clearly_ so full of love, but seemed to hardly spare a drop of it for their kingdom. Or her, for that matter.

"Maybe ... I just don't get them? It's like we're speaking a different language. I know they love me ... they gave me food, shelter. They let me pick my own fate, plan my own goals ..."

She smiled at both Vaggie and Angel, who each represented major decisions in her life.

"But we barely talk. They make sure I'm well and taken care of, but beyond that ... it's like I don't even exist to them. And because I don't get it, I get doubts about them. It's why I have to go and meet with them today, because I know they won't come to meet with me otherwise. And maybe, Angel - maybe it's the same for you. You have to go and meet Alastor. Wherever _he's_ willing to meet with _you_."

She shrugged. "Or maybe I'm just crazy and he really **does** just want to be friends. Friends who go on dates and conveniently forget to kill their newest guest on their show that's literally _all_ about killing the guest, just because **you** happen to be the guest. But who's the say, I'm _clearly_ not the expert."

For the record, she _never_ listened to the Radio Demon's broadcast; _Vaggie_ was the one who kept her up-to-date with his gruesome schedule.

* * *

Angel sighed; there was no point when Charlie was so determined. What if Alastor did have a tiny bit of interest in him? In the end, the deer was a weird demon that did not follow normal social boundaries. That was part of his charm.

"Well, parents are ... Complicated. I can't help you there, toots. But I will just tell you that you need to get that out of the oven before it is too late!" He warned, pointing. It smelled good, but time was up and the strudel would burn if they didn't take it out fast. "I need to clear my head a bit. See you later!" He really needed a shower and some fresh air.

Vaggie looked at Charlie. "You can do this Charlie. I can go with you, or I can wait back here." _Because what else she could do other than support her?_

* * *

"Ah-! Oh, _no-no_ , ah! Ouch, h- **YOW**!"

She yelped as she burnt herself, because she had "gifted" one of her protective mitts to Vaggie just moments ago. But burns were easy to take care of. More _importantly_ -

"My pie! Ohmygosh Vaggie, _look_ \- I made a _strudel pie!!"_

\--

In the end, she decided to go alone. She knew Vaggie would support her no matter what, but it was her _parents_. Her hotel. _Her_ quest. In the back of a spacious white limousine with the fresh pastry wrapped and balanced on her lap, she watched the two little demons, Razzle and Dazzle, chattering up front in the driver's cabin. She should have brought cookies for them - the pair loved sweets almost as much as she did.

It wasn't long before they pulled into a long driveway; when they finally stopped, a giant mansion loomed before them.

"Sigh ... here we go. ' _Welcome home, Charlie_ ' ..."

Muttering to herself, Charlie gazed up at the structure. Razzle left the vehicle first, walked back towards the end of it, and pulled Charlie's door open, so that she might step out.

"Thanks, pal ..."

It was time to meet her makers.

* * *

Lilith just knew her daughter would appear at some point. The last 24 hours had become almost suffocating, constantly looking at the door expecting to see her walk in. Even if Lucifer didn't voice it, she knew he was in the same mood. Outside, the sounds of the limo alerted her that the moment to have a serious talk with Charlotte had finally come. Her husband would join when he was ready.

"Charlotte, is that you?" Lilith said when she reached the hall. The sounds of familiar steps echoed off the walls. "My child, come here."

* * *

"Hey, Mom ..!~"

Spotting her mother, Charlie gave a sheepish smile and began to approach. Dazzle had opened the doors to let her in, and along with Razzle the two demons had trailed along after their charge. They did not stay following, however; once the princess was in Lillith's company, they abandoned her in in favor of speeding straight towards the hall that lead directly to the kitchens.

"Long time no see ... I uh, made a pie?" She held out her offering, glancing around.

"Is, uh ... is Dad around?"

* * *

"Long time, indeed." Lilith rested her hands on her shoulders. "He is gonna come soon, no worries. You made that? Oh good, because I made some tea. Come -" She walked her to a living room where a tea set was waiting for them, and served them while waiting for her daughter to sit.

"I'm sure there are a million things going on in your head. Where do you wanna start?" It was not only going to be about her rebellious hotel friends, of course. Even if there was a lot, Lucifer and the whole nature of Hell itself was very mixed, with centuries of family issues cumulating as the metaphorical cherry on top.

* * *

Placing her dessert by the tea set, Charlie took a seat. She did not unwrap the pie, however, simply accepting some tea and holding it. She wanted to wait for Lucifer before sharing her (and Angel's) handiwork.

"I think I know what _you_ think I know you know and that you _think_ I'm going to ask about the thing you think I think you know _I_ know you think I think you know. And maaaaaaybe that's part of it, maybe, not really, _probably_ , but -"

She looked down at her tea, feeling slightly embarrassed for her rambling: "What I'm trying to say is, I'm actually here to talk and ask a few questions. About you. And Dad. After my _friend's_ show ..."

 _Alastor_. She was pretty sure her parents did _not_ approve of him:

"I realised ... I don't really know much about my "heritage". Not like I thought I did. Barely _anything_ , really _."_

_Why not start from the beginning?_

"How ... did you meet Dad?"

It was a simple question, but the question that was _actually_ implied left far more to be answered; how did a human cross paths with an angel?

* * *

The queen closed her eyes for a moment and faintly took in some air.

"Well, If you want to start from there ... I know angelic information is very scarce -"

"And lucky that it is! Hello, my little apple!" Lucifer said, announcing his presence with an ice cream blizzard in his hands "I couldn’t help hearing 'pie' and thinking we needed ice cream." he chirped and sat in between his wife and his daughter.

"Now we can start with the embarrassing family memories at pleasure." he announced while Lilith poured him some tea.

* * *

It was _weird_ how much energy Lucifer exuded. Charlie nearly jumped in her seat when her father announced his entrance. Luckily, none of her tea spilled.

"Th-There you are!"

Now that everyone was here, Charlie put down her cup and gingerly began to unfurl her little "masterpiece" (Vaggie had helped with the wrappings).

"Before all that, umm ... what do you think ..?"

She didn't mention the filling, even though it was painfully obvious. Part of her even hoped he'd at _least_ take a bite before any comments, regardless of whether they be compliments or a joke.

* * *

"It does smell nice." he conceded. "It's a nice detail for you old father." Lucifer delegated himself to scooping small heaps of ice cream onto the plates. 

Lilith, meanwhile, concerned herself with looking at her husband. She knew how hard it could ...

 **No; it was no time for self pity.** They all needed this talk.

* * *

"Yeah ... it _is_ nice, isn't it?"

Swallowing her pride, Charlie observed as Lucifer laid out ice cream servings. She slicked her hair back, steeling her nerves -

"Sooo ... you're an angel, right? Why _mom?_ And Mom, why _him?"_

It was best to put it bluntly when it came to her father and his forked tongue. _No_ mincing words.

* * *

"What, my devastatingly handsome frame is not reason enough?" Lucifer asked

"Honey ..." 

"Alright, you start then, my love." Lucifer tasted the sweet treats and hummed a bit.

"Well ... I was not only a human, but was considered the first, along with Adam. I was supposed to be his companion when HE came up with the idea of humanity. But it didn't work ... we couldn't be together. I refused to submit to a man in any form. So I proclaimed myself his equal. That cost me my expulsion from the place called Eden. And I wandered by in the world, with all the animals and the creatures of darkness whose company Heaven refused to acknowledge." 

"Totally unfair! I still don't get it." Lucifer said, knowing it was an old and tired discussion.

"And this is where I'm supposed to enter. I used to sit at His side, Charlotte. I was his most beloved cherub. One of the protectors of the stars. I never liked the whole thing with humanity, not even a bit. They seemed too minuscule to be worth so much of His attention. I refused to bow down to those creations, on that small dusty rock he called Earth. And I damned myself when I interacted with them, and made them sin for the first time -"

* * *

Charlie was lost. She tried to clarify her question, while subtly trying to correct her parents' assumptions.

"Charlie. And - I _know_ that part of the story. That's the part _everyone_ talks about. But ... _you two._ You _just_ said you didn't like humanity, Dad, but - hello? What about Mom? I **_exist_** so _clearly_ you changed your mind at some point -!"

* * *

"That's where I'm going! Lilith was a unique case, left by herself the moment she refused every angel that asked for her to go back. She had to suffer her own divine punishment, and that made her, at least, really fascinating in my eyes. But when I ended up expelled from Heaven for ruining Adam and Eve, we met and ... We laughed. We connected in our damnation, in our rebellious foolishness. In our need to look for something that erased the fear and the pain -"

"- It was not easy. We clashed tons of times, but it worked." Lilith added "Eventually we became rulers of a place called Hell. With time, it became populated by the humans that had sinned. And I came to represent many of the creatures that were created from its darkness. Humanity feared me, and I became an omen of death of the unborn. Including my own -"

Lilith paused.

"But ..." She held Lucifer's hand. "... **He** never let me go entirely."

"My baby, you did things not even I believed were possible. And then **you** came along, Charlie; impossible but real." Lucifer’s tone was serious, and he seemed authentic. "In lots of senses, I couldn't let go. I wasn't going lose you because of Heaven, too -"

* * *

"Oh ..."

It was ... sweet, seeing her parents like this. Lucifer had not learned to love a human, he had learned to love _Lilith_. Unfortunately, that nulled one of her ( _Alastor's_ ) theories and put a damper on the rest. Upon her father's concerned words, she looked at him, feeling slightly defiant because it seemed to be aimed a bit at her goals.

"You're _not_ gonna lose me - I'm _literally_ your daughter. I can handle myself."

She'd beaten the _shit_ out of Katie Killjoy on live television, for one. And that was _without_ using her powers. Alastor, for all of his charm and power, did _not_ dictate her decisions. He was simply ... an advisor. And what was an overlord, really, but an ultimate pawn of the anti-christ? _She_ held the ultimate rank, after all.

"But - something doesn't add up. You're saying the other angels tried to get Mom to go back - but Angel _literally_ just came back from there. And it doesn't sound like they wanted to give him a second chance at all! _Even_ though he went willingly! Are we talking about the same angels? Mom? Dad?"

* * *

"It’s not _about_ you." Lucifer corrected, "But about **them**. You said it yourself, my little one. They didn't want your friend. They never expected him, and when they got tired of him they kicked him out, right?. What do you think they did to my beloved Lilith when she threw them for a spin? -"

"- Anything outside of their predictions and schemes is unacceptable."

Lucifer caressed Lilith's hands. "Humans can tell you beautiful things, Charlie. But even the ones that come here with a chance to be cleansed - Heaven forgot about them a long time. So we did, too."

* * *

But ... that wasn't right! There _had_ to be another way-

"... yeah, well. I'm different! I'm not going to give up on my friends! On our people! On _you!"_

She _hated_ how her parents always talked down to her about destiny and finality. So what if _they_ screwed up? Angels and demons and humans have _all_ made mistakes since the beginning of time. But it was only ever humans who seemed to realise it didn't mean you just had to give up and let it go! She was tired of letting demons and angels get away with complacency! She rose from her chair, feeling her emotions overwhelm her -

"We _have_ to be able to work together! I'm sick of everyone always fighting. Yeah, it's Hell - but this place first started as your _home_. **This** was the place you found hope when you'd lost _everything else_ \- and everyone who comes here should be able to get that same opportunity! _That's_ why I have to believe in our sinners!"

She would forge her own path, one way or another. "Maybe you can choose to forget about them - I mean, you already found _your_ happiness, why care about anyone else's? But if you do, just know that it makes you no better than _them!"_

She pointed up at the ceiling with an angry huff, indicating Heaven. It had been a mistake to seek guidance from her parents, after all!

* * *

"Charlie!" Lucifer stepped up with a firm tone. "I'm not trying to justify what I did or what I'm doing. If there is someone that can actually achieve the impossible, it's you! But there is one thing you have to know -" Lucifer felt odd straight up saying how capable his daughter was, but that's what got him in this discussion for starters.

Lilith walked up to their daughter. Only one last thing could really be useful if Charlie wanted to keep with her goals.

"- My child, please. Just one last thing. **Then** you can go." She had to know.

* * *

Feeling stubborn, the princess crossed her arms _._

She really wasn't in the mood to continue the conversation. But at Lucifer's words she paused, looking back over her shoulder at him. It was rare for her father to acknowledge her potential in a way that wasn't part of a punchline. Feeling Lilith pull up to her side, she turned to her mother, waiting for an explanation.

* * *

"We wanted to forget about it because we felt we would be betrayed once again. Angels can kill ... but they can also cleanse demons' souls."

It was flat-out too way too short and simply put, but they were not counting on Charlie staying much longer after that.

* * *

"You ... can clean souls? You can actually **PURIFY THEM**!?"

Charlie was **furious** \- this changed _everything! Why hadn't anyone mentioned it to her sooner!?_

"You ... could have been doing something, all this time! But _no!_ All you did was sit back and ... let all of **this** happen!! I can't _believe_ you wasted thousands of years! **Both** of you! You - you know what, forget it! _-"_

She was _done_. Turning, she began to storm off. "I'm _**leaving**!_ Call if you want to actually _help_ \- or don't! It's not like you ever pick up when ** _I_** call!"

And with that, she was finally gone. Hearing the loud commotion, Razzle and Dazzle sheepishly poked their heads away from their gorging, before hurrying along after their princess, to escort her back to the Hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3's quote function/spacing seems broken, it keeps adding/removing spaces/line breaks and it just made this tedious to edit, sobb. i give up  
> -ornithia


	5. 🎨 (Vibe!) Check-In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A haunt around the old block leads to a haunting from the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Charlie Magne, Valentino  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Vaggie, Frankie (OC)

When Angel said bye to Charlie and Vaggie, he felt the need to distract himself from anything involving the hotel. He fed Nuggets, and took a hot shower. Now the question was how to walk down the street without calling so much attention when he just wanted to have some peace ... ****

**'Wait a fucking minute**... **Oh, I'm a _genius_.'** ****

He dressed himself and then untucked his wings. Even if he wasn't the only creature in Hell that could fly, this was way more quiet.

**'Yup. Prostitutes on the streets, porn billboards on the buildings, drugs in vending machines. There is no place like home**...' **  
**

Angel flew for several minutes. The streets below noisy and dirty as ever, but it felt damn good after being away for so long. He then stopped at the very top of a building. It felt weird seeing his own face from time to time on old posters. 

**'That's an old story**... **thankfully.'**

**-.-.-**

Frankie rested her head against the cold wall of an empty street alley. Valentino was a scary man when it came to work. Her first mistake was asking for a job, and her _huge_ mistake was spending her money faster than she could earn it. Not answering the pimp's messages only infuriated him, but she didn't have his money yet.

**'Please, don't find me. Just one more day ...'** Her rabbit's nose smelled the air like crazy, fear of danger.

* * *

"Yeah babe, don't worry - I **got** this. _Sheesh."_

He wasn't going to let her get away that easily ... Vox was _waiting_ on him. Slamming away his phone into his breast pocket, Valentino swaggered down the street, smelling, seeking for any trace ... His mismatched pair of antennae twitched, until eventually they caught wind of the young demon's scent, standing up straight in the air. Smirking, the moth demon closed in on the woman's hidden location - an alley. How _convenient._

"Well. Well. **_Well_** _._ "

As he entered the space, the tight walls closed in on the extended length of his cane, which scraped out a wretched screech to accompany the rhythmic click of his boots. When he finally stopped, it was in front of a large heap of trash, right at the end of the valley. Between the high walls and his sheer size, any potential exits had been sealed off.

_"Why_ must you play so **hard to get** -!!!

He slammed his cane violently into a nearby dumpster, and the echo that rang out caused piles of waste and refuse to destabilise and come crashing down. _There_ she was! His antennae shivered at the sight of her, _tasting_ her through the air ...

"Don't you want to ' **play** ' with me anymore, _honey-bun?~"_

* * *

"Va - Val! I'm sorry, I was gonna go straight to ..." The girl was frozen in her place, unable to escape. The words didn't come out, knowing she was digging her own grave. "I needed some time to have it all ..." She walked backwards a bit, away from the extremely tall demon.

Angel swore he could hear the voice that haunted his nightmares for so long. Valentino was somewhere down the street. It took only a moment to locate the pimp from the spider's vantage point. He was in an alley and there was another demon there, apparently begging for their life. 

**'Oh no, noooo. Not now. _Fuck,_ this is too much for a quiet walk **...' ****

Angel bit his lip, looking at the poor bunny girl. The fucker grabbed her _really_ hard. 

**'... Okay, but only ‘cause I really hate him**!'

Angel Dust dove, and landed in the alley as fast as he could. 

"Hey Val! As gentle as I remember you, eh?" He greeted. Again, he had to remind himself that the fucker did not own him anymore.

* * *

"Nooo ... you signed that away, remember? Or do we need **a reminder** -"

He had the girl by the throat, against the wall ready to land a strike when an _oh-so_ familiar voice interrupted his 'lecture' -

"... Angel Dust. _Long time_. Come back for your old job?"

He tightened his grip on the rabbit demon with one hand, and squeezed her cheeks with the other. He forced her to look towards their 'intruder'.

"Look at him - you see that? _That's_ what a **real** star looks like!"

And then, this time addressing Angel: "... do _you_ remember? That day I found you on the street. And how you told me you'd do **anything** -"

His grin glinted with the gold of his tooth, all false charm and promise.

* * *

Angel felt his stomach twist. Valentino passed from scary to disgusting so fast it always made his skin crawl.

"Let her go, you are hurting her!" Angel demanded.

**'Here we go - angelic strength, don't fail me now**!'

His hand twitched, and he _almost_ felt the weight of a mace there. His wings, a bit folded from his landing, puffed out with ethereal discomfort.

* * *

Val's face instantly inverted into a scowl; "- _she_ signed away her soul to _**me**_. **I'm** just collecting a _property_."

_Who_ did the spider think he was, meddling in like some sort of vigilante? "Besides - _someone_ had to fill in for your sorry ass. Because **someone** never put in their two-weeks notice. But don't take it personally, _Angel Cake_ \- you _know_ that's just how show-biz **_goes_**."

He released Frankie's face, turning his attention to her now with a dismissive snort.

"Fuckin' _clown_. **Forget** him, baby, why don't we focus on _us_ -"

* * *

A second of doubt caused Angel to flinch to the side, with his wings unfolding and ready to fly. But his fight instinct finally kicked in, and his holy mace managed to materialize, heavy and landing with a heavy thud that splintered the hard ground.

"Don't try me, you piece of _shit_." He couldn't believe he was doing this, but Val was not going to win so easily.

* * *

"Yeah? Or **what** -"

Spotting the holy weapon, the pimp paused. "... y'know. If you're _really_ so desperate for blow, all you had do was _**ask** -_"

He released his grip, and the captive girl dropped. Raising all four of his arms in a readying brace, Val turned to face Angel completely, spreading his lower wings to shield the rabbit prostitute from view while he continued their conversation.

"- _you_ know the rules. All nice and _pretty_. Just like old times ... though I reckon your **knees** must have gotten _tougher_ from all that time ' _practicin_ ' up above."

The pimp cackled to himself, one side of his mouth drooling slightly from his crass joke.

* * *

Angel moved fast. Reaching for the dumpster's lid near him, he threw it at Valentino, aiming for his line of sight. He knew getting closer to Val’s wings was dangerous, but he held his breath and jumped anyway, swinging his mace as he tried to strike to his enemy's head.

* * *

_"Tch_ ... stupid **SLUT** -!"

That had _almost_ hit him! Luckily his antennae had sensed the danger and he'd been able to pull back just in time. Unfortunately, it left him open to Angel's next maneuver -

CRASH!

_"- bitch_ . Finally **compensatin** ' for somethin' after all these years!?"

That was _far_ too close. The spider had always been quick on those ridiculous feet of his, but now he was even _faster_. With a bit of a struggle, Val pushed back against the heavy mace with the shaft of his cane, finally spreading his upper wings in their full display. WIth a steady pace, he began to beat them, propelling himself forward with the extra bit of thrust they provided.

" **What's your _problem_** _!?_ This **ain't** your business anymore! But who woulda thought, anyway -"

He snarled, twisting his torso to get a more favorable angle.

"- that after decades of gettin' so thoroughly **_fucked_ ** out of your mind that the only way you could sleep at night was to snort yourself into a drug-induced coma - did you _really_ think it would be so easy to _forget?_ That some **stupid** hotel could actually help a whore _like you?"_

* * *

**'Nope, nope**! **You are not gonna**!!'

"OH JUST SHUT UP!" Angel yelled, praying that the weird feel in his mouth was not the taste of Val's drugs.

A second mace materialized in his lower set of arms, and he swung it in the opposite direction from last time. Hitting the moth again again, his primary arms with the first mace stayed put for now, blocking any incoming attack.

* * *

"Just _look_ at yourself -"

Another beat from his wings. Valentino let out a grunt when the spider materialised a second weapon - he'd _almost_ forgotten about those stupid tricks - and struggled to push it away from where it had landed on him with his second pair of arms. His wings shuddered from the effort, but in doing so they released more of the scales they'd been passively shedding.

"- but you're right. Let's talk **business** instead - the _Radio Demon?_ Unexpected ... but really! You couldn't have picked a more **pathetic** overlord if **you'd tried**! What do you even _get_ out of a contract with him -"

By some miracle, Val managed to break free of their grapple. Stumbling backwards, he continued his verbal assault.

"- he's got _nothing_. No empire, no drugs, no clout - all he does is eat demons for breakfast and _shit_ them out afterward. He doesn't give a **_fuck_** about sensible things like you and I - _hell_ , I heard he doesn't even give an **actual** _' **fuck** ' _-"

Wings fully spread, he kicked Frankie out from behind his wings, pinning her in place with the sharp heel of his boot and aiming his cane over her head, ready to strike.

"You wanted to play the _'Angel'_ so bad, but you ended up gettin' kicked right back down to _us_. I wonder why that is, _**Anthony**?"_

* * *

That really was the last straw. He took advantage of Valentino's position and threw one of the maces with all of his strength, to shove him away from the girl:

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHO I AM! AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

She slipped away from Val's reach. It gave Angel the chance he needed to run up to the pimp and swing his primary mace hard into Valentino's arm with a crunch.

* * *

"What the fuck - **HEY**!"

He didn't _actually_ think the spider had the balls to try and _dare_ risk harm to a hostage by actually throwing the first blow. And throw he _did_ -

" **Shit** -!"

Despite his effort to deflect the attack, Val felt his cane slip from his grasp as it caught on the spikes of the larger, heavier weapon. Disarmed, he was left completely vulnerable to Angel's next direct strike. He cried out, screeching from the pain as he struggled to get away.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME, YOU FUCKING **FREAK**."

He threw hard, ring-covered punches at the spider's head, desperate to dislodge his assailant from what he was _certain_ was now a broken arm. All the while his wings struggled beneath them, blowing up a pure, undiluted cloud of drugs and fueling their madness.

* * *

"I DIDN'T GO UP THERE AND COME BACK DOWN JUST TO STAND YOUR BULLSHIT AGAIN!" He climbed over his body without stopping his crushing assault.

* * *

"YOU SON. OF A BITCH! GET! THE HELL!! **OFF**!!!"

It came at a gruesome cost - there was a sickening sound as cloth and flesh alike were forcibly torn from the seams. When Valentino finally got away, he was one arm short and sporting a weeping trail of blood that ran down just the one side of his body, all the way back to Angel Dust. He roared.

_"DAMN IT_ ... YOU'LL FUCKIN' **PAY** **FOR THIS**."

Abandoning arm, cane, and whore, the moth took a vertical exit and left the scene. To _hell_ with it, **_no_** prostitute was worth **this** level of grievous injury.

* * *

"Fuck you! You coward son of a bitch!!!" Angel's insults were stopped by a coughing fit.

He tried to shake the ugly layer of drugs, flapping his own angelic wings as much as he could and finally tucking them away. He felt dizzy and realized his head now hurt like a bitch. How much of the pure stuff had he breathed? -

"Hey, are you fine?" The bunny's feminine voice caught his attention.

"Oh, I will be good." Angel shrugged, looking at the mismatched halves of the rabbit's brown and black face. 

"So you are ..?"  
"Your fucking fairy godmother, I guess."  
"Angel Dust, the one that went to Heaven?"

"That too ..." He felt himself gag. " Oh no ..." He reached for the nearest trash container and puked.

"Ew, are you sure you are fine? ..." 

_Apparently fallen angels could puke from an overdose._

"Ugh, why? I used to take this all the time." he moaned and gagged again.

The girl got closer and handed him some paper tissues. "Here. I'm Francisca, but call me Frankie."

"Uh, thanks." he murmured, cleaning his mouth.

"Let me guess ... How much time since you went clean?"

"Not sure, some months." Was she a fan?

"Thanks for the help, I guess ... I'm gonna be double-dead anyway when he finds me again. But it was nice to meet **THE** Angel Dust."

_Oh right_. Val will not act like nothing happened. The poor girl was going to get the shortest straw in this mess.

"You know" Angel said, fixing his posture and feeling better now. "You can come along if you want, to the Happy Hotel. Inside there you can be safe ... Frankie, right?"

"Uh, I'm totally broke ..."  
"It's free. So long you play nice for the princess. You can stay one night and see what to do from there."

She nodded. "Thank you. I could really use it."

* * *

* * *

Back at the hotel, Charlie sat fuming at the bar. She should have been in her office instead, but-

"I can't _stand_ looking at him right now!"

\- it would be a while before she could face Lucifer's portrait again. Giving Husk an adorable pout, she pushed her empty glass at him.

"... can I get another orange juice. Please?"

* * *

Frankie opened the door of the Happy Hotel, and was followed inside by Angel. She was smiling at the tall demon, still not believing he had beat the shit out of Valentino and helped her in the process. The rabbit found a safe place for the night and met a porn star, infamous drag performer and divine celebrity, all in one!

"Don't panic! I'm as un-alive as I left! And I brought company!" Angel tried to be cheerful, but he was clearly exhausted. He left his maces by the umbrella stand and then went to collapse on a couch. 

"Uh, hi!" Frankie said, noticing the demons across the hall and waving a hand at them. "Where do I check in?"

* * *

Turning towards the sound of the familiar voice, Charlie was about to greet Angel ... when the second demon tagging along caught her attention instead. She rushed over, eager to meet a new client.

"Oh! Welcome - sorry, I'm Charlie! And _this_ is the Happy Hotel -"

"Hazbin."  
"- **Hazbin** Hotel!"

Alastor gave a satisfied smirk from his spot near the concierge booth, already starting to fill out a check-in form as Charlie led them over. Giving her a clinical once over, he deduced that this new demon was probably a streetwalker. He _then_ continued to mark off boxes on the sheet, waiting for the girl to introduce herself.

"And just **who** might _you_ be?"

* * *

_This_ demon was very creepy looking compared to the cheerful princess. And his voice ... Oh, of course!

"Oh, I'm Frankie. Angel helped me, so I decided to stay a bit and give this place a shot. You must be the Radio Demon, right?"

* * *

His smile twitched; _"Angel_ helped you? Why, doing _what_ , exactly -"

Glancing over at the spider in question, Alastor felt a slight wave of concern overtake him as he spotted their resident angel still and spilled over on the couch. He seemed _suspiciously_ exhausted.

"Oh dear ... Charlie, I believe I can take it from here. Why don't you ..."

He made a _sharp_ jerking motion with his head, aimed in Angel's general direction. Luckily for him, the princess was an _equally_ sharp girl, and she was able to catch the gist in his gesture.

"Right! On it -!"

Charlie dashed over to tend to their fallen friend at once. And in doing so, she'd left a guest _alone_ in the company of the Radio Demon ...

" _Tell me_ , now - how long have you been in Hell ... and _are_ you a vegetarian? It's a **very** important question!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. art by Nekokolove/Awkwardcat
> 
>   
> 
> 
>   
> 2\. you can thank also thank her for the title, that was her brilliant idea.
> 
> 3\. ALSO this was written waaaaayyyyy before ADDICT came out, and bc val's a moth i decided to make him dusty and why not make his scales be made of drugs, too? anyway close enough, so ahhhHHHHHH  
> \- ornithia


	6. Wait, what now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the pit of despair, inspiration strikes! ... maybe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Charlie Magne  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Vaggie, Frankie (OC), Husk, Niffty, Fat Nuggets

Frankie gave one last look at Angel on the couch. He said he would be fine, after all, so there was no need to worry.

"Well, I have been in Hell for the last 4 years. And I may be a rabbit, but I'm not a vegetarian. Not my thing ..."

From his place on the couch, Angel only released soft muffled sounds against a pillow. He had to give himself a pat on the back for facing Valentino and actually managing to rip his arm off.

**'And that one is not gonna come back, HA!'**

Knowing Charlie had stepped near him, he rolled lazily to face her:

"Hi."

* * *

Charlie kneeled before the couch with a faint smile. This was a rather familiar position, considering Angel’s return from just a few days ago -

"Are you okay? Your ‘escort' said you helped her ..."

It was then that she noticed the fresh cuts and bruises on his head and face, and the flecks of blood peppering his clothes. _This_ was cause for worry.

"Angel???!"

She began to fret over him, trying to locate the source of the bleeding.

* * *

"Easy, easy, it's not mine. I'm fine." he smiled. "But I need a shower, and you better tell Niffty to clean up here. He would have choked her to death, it served him right ..."

Slowly, he lifted himself up from the couch. "Make sure Alastor doesn't try to eat her, he looks hungry ... and tell me how it went with your family, later." He got up and disappeared off, walking up the stairs.

* * *

"... now just sign here. And, oh! Here's a key to your room - not that it'll really **_stop_** anyone ..."

The microphone supplied a laugh track for Alastor as he finished signing in the harlequin rabbit. Frankie - was it short for Francine? No matter! He ushered her along, eager to move on and speak with Charlie.

"You run along now, **_dearie_ ** \- and Charlie! Everything alright?"

"Yeah ... I think he just got into a fight and _won_ -"

Alastor's head snapped towards Angel's retreating figure, before turning back to the princess.

"Why, that's _splendid!_ Atta-boy! -"

Charlie crossed her arms at him with an unamused look. The deer faltered:

"- I mean, uh. Bad. **_Very_ ** bad! Go ... to your room??"

She let out an exasperated breath at his admonishing attempt, and decided to let it go.

"He _did_ leave a mess on the couch, so we'll be needing -"

"Ah, say no more! **:: Niffty, lobby!** ** _Now! ::_** "

His microphone crackled with a bit of magical feedback, and Niffty’s affirmation. He then followed Charlie back to the bar, watching her carefully.

"Dare I say ... you've been nursing the entire juice cabinet since your return -"

"It's not alco-"

"And it's not even booze - **yes** , I know! You do know this means we'll be running short on screwdrivers for **_days_** , now! You've all but depleted our citrus stock!"

Catching Vaggie’s glare from across the room, just down the hall, he shot an innocent gaze, waving mischievously with his fingers towards her. Meanwhile, he continued his conversation, with Charlie, switching to a more soothing tone:

"- _not_ that I'm abiding by our patrons’ vices. _Or_ condemning it. But - it _does_ help to toss in an occasional reward for their efforts. Isn't that right, _Husker-my-boy?~_ "

Charlie looked down at her hands while the radio demon leered playfully at their bartender, who was _very_ determined to ignore them.

"... you were right."

"I - I _was?_ "

"About my **_parents_ **."

Alastor had _not_ expected such an immediate concession. He took a seat beside the princess, letting it process.

"... I see. _Well_ then."

This seemed personal, rather than anything concerning the hotel or redemption. He _had_ tried to present the ruling pair as the prime role models for their scheme. Yet, Charlie did not wear the face of a child who idolised her parents.

"Perhaps another orange juice **is** in order -"

He did not wait for Husk to pour it for them; rather, he simply opted for conjuring the liquid straight into one of Charlie’s many empty glasses, and nudged it towards her.

* * *

Angel’s goal was to reach his room, but Vaggie spotted him on his way and did a double-take.

"It's not mine, it’s not mine!" he repeated. "We have a new demon."

"What did you do?"

 _Finally, his door_. He opened it and stepped inside, answering, "The right thing!". Then he slammed it shut.

Vaggie sighed, and turned back downstairs.

\--

Frankie had taken her key excitedly, eagerly walking away from the radio demon to search for her room. That last thing he’d said had sounded more like a threat than a joke to her ... 

"Hey, are you the new patron?"

It wasn’t long until Vaggie saw her, looking at the numbers above the room doors. "I’m Vaggie. I work here." she greeted.

"Oh yes. Hi, I'm Frankie. Angel Dust brought me."

"You already checked in?" Vaggie asked, carefully. One never knew what kind of demons Angel could hang out with.

"Yes, I did. I’ll need to get the rest of my things from my apartment soon. I just hope Valentino is busy enough with that epic beat down Angel gave him - oh, that should be my room! See you later." Frankie said and disappeared inside a door.

Vaggie raised her eyebrows in surprise, but it looked like the demon didn't have time for more questions. So Vaggie hurried downstairs to get more information from Charlie and Alastor, instead.

"Can someone tell me what Angel did now?" she asked, when she reached the hotel’s hall.

* * *

Just as Charlie perked up with Alastor’s gesture, Vaggie was back. The princess turned towards her girlfriend and waved her over, before launching into explanation, with Alastor’s helpful commentary:

"I think he got in a fight."

"He rescued a **harlot**!"

Charlie smiled despite herself, taking a sip of her drink.

"He was covered in blood and left a mess on the couch. But he says it wasn't his, so I _think_ he'll be ok. Just said he needed a shower -"

"Perhaps if I were to give it a **taste-test** ..?"

Wait, **_what_** \- Charlie shot the deer an expression that was equal parts shocked and disgusted by his implication. _He_ simply stared back, oblivious to taboos concerning others’ blood.

"... what? To identify the aggressor, of course! I have a rather refined palate, I'll have you know! I can pinpoint a demon and track them down like no other! Just _try_ me!"

* * *

"Yeah, seems like it." Vaggie agreed. Goddamit, Alastor playing nice was _weird as fuck_.

"No need to be gross. The girl said something about giving Valentino the beatdown of his life."

And now _everyone_ in the room looked at her. Even Husk turned his ears from his place at the bar.

"What! She said that!" Vaggie said, in response to the room’s incredulous aura.

Niffty ran past her side just then, to vacuum the couch Angel had been resting on, dusting on a fine powder layer and washing away the blood stains.

* * *

Words couldn't quite capture what Charlie was feeling in that moment. The audible screech of Alastor's radio signal, on the other hand ...

"... Valentino is an **_overlord_**."

"Yeah ... but more importantly, he's Angel's former boss! There's ... history! **Bad** stuff! You don't think -?"

Now she was **really** worried. Perhaps Angel's fall had affected him more than he'd let on. Before she could continue down that dark train of thought, Alastor wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, near the head of his microphone. But rather than have her speak into it, **it** spoke instead:

**_:: -m Frankie. Angel helped me, so I decided to stay a bit and give this place a shot. You must be the Radio D- ::_ **

... Or rather, it played back the sound of Frankie's voice, tinged with a backdrop of a radio static.

" _Perhaps_ we should interrogate our witness before we jump to conclusions ... **buck** -up, darlings-!"

With a snap of his fingers and a burst of shadow, they were gone. When they reappeared a moment later, it was in front of one of the hotel's guest rooms, only just recently re-inhabited.

"I **did** tell her the key wouldn't **_really_ ** stop anyone ..."

He sighed, tapping the door's number with the tip of his staff. On contact, a current of magical energy coursed through the frame, and then the door swung open, swinging freely on its hinges. Bowing beside his handiwork, he gestured for the princess and her consort to enter.

" ** _Ladies_ ** first?"

Charlie gave Alastor a deep frown for his flippant disregard for guests' privacy but took a step inside anyway.

"... Frankie? It's me, Charlie. We've just got a few questions for you ..."

* * *

Frankie smiled at the neat and simple room. It was clean, but she could work on making it a bit more cozy later. Her only possessions were her handbag with a spare set of clothes, her cell phone, and notepad. **'** **Oh well, at least I'm safe here right?'**

\--

In the bathroom, she refreshed herself and put on her change of clothes. She would need to ask where to do her laundry later. But for now, she listened to the new set of steps in her new room.

"Yes? Is something wrong?" She asked, peeking her head out from behind the bathroom door.

Vaggie began. "We need you to tell us what happened between you and Angel. Did he really beat Valentino, the overlord? For real?"

"Well, yes?" She put the dirty clothes on the side and faced the demons. "I know I said he helped me, but I'm sure lots of people want to beat Valentino for lots of reasons ..." 

She wasn't naive enough to think that Angel Dust was some kind of knight in shining armor. He just probably was tired of seeing Valentino's abusive shit. He was his biggest star, well-known before the redemption thing. Why wouldn’t Val treat him like trash, too?

* * *

Alastor let the women talk, keeping near the door as he glanced around. The room was obviously mostly empty ... aside from the hotel’s default furnishings and whatever the rabbit girl had brought along, obviously. Charlie continued Vaggie’s questioning, in earnest:

"He **really** didn't say anything else about it? What about all the blood? I mean, he may be a hero, sure, but we do **kiiiinda** have a teeny policy about keeping violence to a minimum. 'Incidents' don't exactly help our public image ..."

She still felt waves of embarrassment and regret whenever she recalled her own televised brawl. From his corner, Alastor piped up:

"Personally, I'm just interested in **how** he did it. I don't very much _‘care’_ for Valentino's line of work, but he **is** a colleague within my demonic station. It would be **_foolish_ ** if I didn't at least **pretend** to take a passing interest in the matter!"

And there was _definitely_ no other motive on Alastor's behalf. **_None whatsoever._ **

* * *

"He beat him pretty bad. It was so fast I missed a lot, too busy trying to run away. I think Val said some really nasty things to Angel and then he went all berserker on him. And I'm no expert but that was some angelical stuff he pulled out. That one arm is not gonna grow back, is it? Holy weapons are supposed to do that, right?" She felt a bit confused by the interrogation.

 _Wasn't Angel Dust their friend?_ ' **Isn't he supposed to be a super powerful fallen angel?'**

"I would not worry about Valentino. He will not want to make that public anyway." she concluded.

* * *

Alastor's pupils briefly flicked into radio dials. He straightened his posture, pressing the end of his mic to his chin in thought.

"He **did** , did he ..."

Charlie, on the other hand, suddenly recalled Lucifer's words. Angel was a fallen angel. Angel had angelic powers -

"We've, uh - **we gotta go**!"

She snatched Vaggie by the hand and dragged them out of the room and to the hall. Alastor stayed just a bit longer, still in his thoughts.

"I suppose we owe you our gratitude for that bit of insight ... **toodle-loo**!"

He was gone with the shadows, and a moment later materialised behind Charlie and Vaggie. They hadn't gotten far - the former had the latter by the shoulders, and was bouncing up and down in place. They seemed to be waiting for the elevator.

"This is big! Like, really big! Ohhhh, why didn't I think of it sooner!! I need to tell you guys AND Angel once he's up for it!"

* * *

When Angel Dust finished showering and brushing his hair, the wounds could barely be considered small bruises. 

**'Well, of course … It wasn't that bad of a beat down and now it heals faster.'** ****

He dressed and carried Fat Nuggets in his arms, determined to let the pig stretch his legs. He probably should make something to eat and hoped the bunny girl didn't speak too much. He walked outside his room to the elevator, but the instant he saw Charlie, Vaggie, and Alastor standing within, he did a 180° turn to go back to his room.

"Stay where you are." Vaggie warned.

Angel froze in place. Then lifted the hands that weren’t carrying Nuggets into the air, like he had been caught by the police.

"Okay, how angry are you with me?"

* * *

"Angry? Why - **nonsense!** Pay no mind to the madam on the right!"

Alastor grinned down at Vaggie, though it was **not** a friendly gesture between them. Just the usual back and forth, provocating -

"Ok, knock it off, you two! This isn't the time - Angel! Do you think we can come inside? It's ... it's about you. But! It's a **good** thing, I promise!!"

She was looking **way** too excited, all bright-eyed and rosy-cheeked.

* * *

"It is?" He was definitely confused now. "Okay, come on." 

He opened the door for, then closed it behind himself. Nuggets was left on the bed, snorting and displease.

**'Sorry Nuggs, I’ll give you a walk later.'**

* * *

"Great! -"

Charlie all but ran inside. And as before, Alastor waited for the women to enter first before he followed in after. As he passed Angel, he gave a good hard stare at his face. How very interesting, **indeed** …

"Okay, I know why we want to talk to him.But what else is so important, Charlie?" Vaggie asked.

Being dragged by her girlfriend in total delight raised questions. Especially since Angel staining the hotel's brand seemed suddenly irrelevant.

"So ..."

Plopping herself on the bed, Charlie got comfortable as she prepared her big news. She slapped her knees in a dramatic drumroll -

"Soooo ... I went to see Mom and Dad. But they didn't **really** help me - **Alastor** was right about their pride - but, they're so far up their own ... **pie holes** ! That they've basically given up on all sinners! And Dad says it's been like that for centuries now, and the same goes for Heaven, too! **Everyone's** chosen to forget their 'purpose' -"

At this point she reached for Angel, grabbing him by the wrists and pulling him on the bed beside her as she bounced up and down in place.

"And do you know what that purpose is? Salvation! But - not the regular old way, I mean, sinners already screwed that part up, **_am I right_ ** _?_ HA ... _sorry_ , just kidding! ... It's _purification!_ Dad says angels have the power to purify souls! And **you-!!!** "

The bed creaked beneath Charlie where she continued to bounce about.

"You. Are. An. **Angel!** And. You. Have. **Angel Powers!!** Which means _you_ can purify the hotel! So - **what do you need from us!?** "

She looked up at him, eyes glittering with expectation.

* * *

The chat grew weirder and weirder until Charlie dropped the most unexpected bomb.

"I ... Can do what?" Angel blinked several times.

For a moment everything turned to awkward silence. Only interrupted by Vaggie giving an exhausted groan and face-palming.

"Of course ..." She mumbled.

* * *

"You can ... purify souls? **Why** do you sound so confused ..."

"... **pfft** -!!"

Oh, this was too _much!_ Alastor broke down into a cackling mess, seeing the disconnect between Charlie, Angel, and the only one who was quick on the uptake, Vaggie.

"Charlie, my dear - I don't think he knows what you're talking about. Because he doesn't **know** **_'what'_** you're talking about!"

"But ..."

He turned to Angel next, far more interested in what he'd heard about his fellow overlord than supposed purification abilities.

"Your damsel in distress claims you used a holy weapon to maim Valentino. I just want to make sure I haven't misheard - that you **actually** tore off his arm? **Permanently**?"

The glint in his eyes was all devilish intent and mischief.

* * *

"Oh that. I did it with my mace, so it's not supposed to grow back." He turned his head to Alastor, and then to Charlie again. "No, seriously. I'm supposed to do what now?"

The poor girl looked like someone just told her Santa Claus didn't exist.

"Charlie, I'm sorry but they didn't share a lot with me up there. There wasn't a meeting party or any "here’s your 'How To Be An Angel 101' guide book". I barely learned how to use my weapon and my wings. And now you mean they can purify souls and send them to Heaven or … How is that even possible?" 

Vaggie had all sorts of questions:

"I **can't believe** you actually beat an overlord. Anyway, so is it true, Charlie? That your dad can do that … but he didn't tell you how?"

* * *

"Yes Vaggie, I'm sure of it! But **why** would he tell me that? Unless ..."

The princess leaned over, staring at her knees. This was probably another one of Lucifer's "jokes". Letting her get all wrapped up in a dream, only to snatch it away at the last second by revealing it was impossible all along...

Meanwhile, Alastor was still staring at Angel, feeling delightfully entertained. Oh, how he wished he could have seen it! He would have continued asking for details of the fight, how the rival overlord must have looked, humiliated in his defeat ... Until he saw Charlie's head, bowed over like she was trying to hide from the world. He felt a tug of emotion at the sight … Maybe later -

"So what you're saying then ... is that there's a learning curve? Because if you barely managed to master the two skills of an exterminator in the time you spent up there, then it's no wonder you haven't mastered "purification" yet!"

He glanced at Charlie, hoping she was listening.

"And all we have to do is keep up your angel training, isn’t that right? Whatever that entails ... do you need demons to smite? Because I've got an entire **'naughty'** list awaiting _slaughter_ -"

Or maybe it was best **not** to mention that in present company -

"- and I'm sure you can ... _pray_ for the rest! Counseling and healing for the masses and whatnot. You can offer public services! I'm sure it can't be **that** difficult, why -"

Charlie was looking at him now, wiping away some of her tears.

"- when **I** became an overlord - I'd barely been in Hell for even a day! Perhaps I had a head-start in life, for when I came down here - but I still had to **learn** my powers! And what is Hell, but just an inversion of Heaven? I bet the same rules apply on both sides for human souls! Just … **'holier'** than thou, in Heaven's case."

It was worth a shot, at the very least.

* * *

Vaggie interrupted Alastor. "He can't just slay demons until he figures out how it’s done, you psycho!"

Angel suddenly felt like certain things were making sense. "Look, time is really weird up there! I wasn't even sure how many days were passing." He rubbed the princess’ arms. "Charlie, don't be sad! I have no way to know these things but ... When I messed with their books they were really pissed. They said lots of things about how no one was supposed to know 'real ' divine stuff. If there is a chance that what you say is true ..."

Angel bit his lip "I will do it." he declared. "I will figure out how it is done." He said it hoping the princess would cheer up. "Change that long face, toots! I will have to ask questions here and there, but we will find out how! Now, I'm really hungry and I'm supposed to make dinner!"

Even Fat Nuggets lifted his head from his pillow at the mention of food.

* * *

" **Thank you** ..!"

She latched onto Angel, who was closest, and gave him a big hug, burying her face into his chest fluff. It was soft, and warm, and would make a **really** good pillow to cry in -

"Sorry, sorry! I should wash my face first!"

She pulled away, heading towards the room's bathroom to use the sink. Alastor watched after her, some of his concern put at ease.

"Y'know - I wasn't kidding about the **smiting**..." he said casually, leaning down close to Angel's ear (ear holes? The spider had no visible outer structures, after all ...) so that Vaggie wouldn't hear him. To disguise this less-than-savoury offer, he reached out to brush his fingertips against Fat Nuggets’ hide in a half-hearted pet. And in a louder voice, he teased:

"... I suppose it would be too much to ask to eat **your** bacon?"

Pulling away, he left the room. He'd wait for the others in the kitchen. Maybe he could think up a few more ideas …

* * *

Angel felt relief seeing Charlie run to the bathroom to compose herself. But then Alastor whispered so close to him, and he felt his face flush like crazy. Luckily, no one could see it. 

"Wait, what?" He automatically groped for Nuggets beside him, pulling the pig against himself.

**'What the fuck was that about?'**

The spider saw Alastor walk away, and then felt Vaggie's eyes stuck on him. She looked just as confused as he felt.

"Uh, food right? Let's make dinner!" He stood up from the bed. "I think I saved enough dough for some lasagna!" he announced, and led the girls and his pig out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. see [[the end of chapter 5]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26511166/chapters/65448379#chapter_5_endnotes) to see another one of [Nekokolove's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) illustrations!
> 
> 2\. next chapter there will be a rating change so ... there's your warning, lol
> 
> \- ornithia


	7. After-dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learning is hard and can have curious consequenses. 
> 
> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Rosie, Asshole victim #1 (molester priest)  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Vaggie, Niffty, Frankie (OC)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RATING CHANGE, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
> 
> Angel finally takes up Al on his offer ... meanwhile, Frankie settles into the hotel.

Downstairs, Frankie was making sure Niffty could absolutely wash her beloved bag by hand.

“I usually do it myself ..."

The little demon simply accepted, “No problem! Seems **it needs** that special care. Just leave it to me!” she guaranteed. And then Angel Dust walked in, followed by Nuggets.

"Oh, hi again!” 

“Dinner is in 20 minutes! You hungry, bun?”

“Starving!”

“Good!” 

Leaving them, Angel reached the kitchen; In his mind, he was already concluding that he was gonna need to pay a visit to Lucifer himself.

* * *

Dinner went as expected. Only they had a new table guest this time - **Frankie**. Alastor still didn't know what to make of the harlequin rabbit. She seemed to get along with Angel, which was expected; the spider had essentially _rescued_ her, after all. And now that the deer thought of it, the rabbit spent **most** of her time at the hotel with Angel ...

Though to be fair, **_everyone_ ** was doing that lately - Charlie had taken it upon herself to start his "training" regime. This involved daily interaction with many of the hotel guests. And Vaggie often checked in on him throughout the day, to make sure he was keeping on track, both in his schedule and personal affairs. Even Husk and Niffty, who usually reported to _him_ , were now having regular exchanges of their own with Angel, regarding ingredients or supplies, and cleaning and washing. **_Good thing he had so many hands to spare_** _..!_

"Ah, **there** you are!"

He greeted the spider the second he spotted him, strolling down the hall. Tagging along was Frankie, **_of course_**. The Radio Demon's eyes narrowed venomously.

"You've been rather _busy_ lately, haven't you? Taking a trip somewhere?"

Despite his address being directed at Angel, his gaze stayed **intently** focused on his mismatched-escort.

* * *

Maybe Frankie found herself gulping, her ears deflating a bit. **‘Did I do something to piss him off? Or it's a cannibal thing**... **Fuck**... **’**

“I’m taking Frankie to her apartment. She's moving permanently, and needs to get the rest of her things. Valentino has not shown any signs of life but it's still risky.” Angel explained.

**‘Also, we were just gonna chill a bit outside the hotel. I need a break from everyone.’**

Plus he actually liked Frankie, and they were getting along. As a fellow sex worker, she was easy to talk to, in lots of senses. Not to mention she was also very smart, although she had a big problem in that she liked expensive things. And that was what had put her under Valentino’s claws in first place, unfortunately.

* * *

"Ah - I **see**!"

Alastor finally looked away from the girl, looking over Angel instead. Dressed casually, appropriate for a moving occasion. Nothing like the suit he'd worn for their broadcast ...

"Well, allow me to congratulate you on your moving day! Even if it **is** rather early ..."

His gaze was back on Frankie again, and just as intense as before. His next words were meant for Angel, however, even as he tilt his head, thoughtfully comparing the girl's odd-colored ears.

"I did in fact want to talk to you about something ... but seeing as you've already made plans, it can wait until you get back. Break a leg! Or **don't**!"

He walked off, humming his usual tune before reaching a corner and disappearing from sight.

* * *

Angel swore the rabbit lost her colors at the sight of Alastor. “You will get used to him. He just loves to freak out everyone.” he assured.

“Are you sure?”

\--

Once at her small apartment, Frankie and Angel had lots of time to chat and empty the place. The rabbit collected all of her valuable little things; she had most missed her drawing supplies and sewing box. And as they packed up, the pair also ate through Frankie’s booze and food, to stay fueled to the very end. That’s when Angel began to tell her about his feelings for the Radio Demon.

And _now_ the entire picture fit together better in Frankie’s head! Could it be the scary fucker was ...? It was strange listening to the worries Angel Dust had about Alastor's aversion to sexual things, given how confident he was most of time. But it seemed natural that this preference would make an ex-pornstar feel hopeless. But if the deer demon didn't eat her for shoving her snout into his business, she could consider helping ...

When they came back from her apartment, carrying everything she owned between them, they were singing like loud idiots. Because Frankie had begged Angel to quote her favourite musical.

**“I’m not much of a maaaaan by the light of daaaayyy!!!”**

**“But by night I’m a hell of a lover!!!”**

“What in the ...” Vaggie looked at them in amusement, walking into the hotel while singing ‘Sweet Transvestite’, until they were out of sight, headed straight for the rabbit's room.

“They are gonna have Charlie join in if they keep singing it like that ...”

* * *

For the rest of the day, Alastor opted to catch up on his reading of recent happenings outside the hotel. Despite Angel not having heard from his former employer, it seemed the media had been abuzz, questioning the moth's whereabouts. Alastor saved for himself a clipping that showcased a candid shot of the pimp exiting one of his limos, with the text beneath describing a supposed limp on one side of his body; **Angel's doing, no doubt**!

Word had also spread of Angel's regiment at the hotel - rumours about how the fallen angel was attempting to perform 'miracles'. That would explain the amount of visitors coming through the doors. But not many stayed, probably because Angel didn't have any true angelic powers.

 _**Yet**_ , the glutton reminded himself.

As for Vox ... Alastor considered taking a stroll downtown to peruse Killjoy's news channel. He never liked engaging directly with television sets, but as a member of the media, he found it most convenient to glean the local news from a third party, rather than having to worry about contributing towards a rival's technological empire.

It also meant he could take his mind off the various printed tabloids. While they'd been apocalyptic in nature immediately following his broadcast with Angel Dust, their tone had veered toward more ... _scandalous_ avenues, as of late ...

Charlie still refused to visit her office, in protest against her father's image. Finding himself alone with nothing but Lucifer's portrait for company, Alastor did what any self-respecting overlord would do and gave into morbid curiosity -

"... they think that I'd ... with **what**!? I don't even **like** cucumbers!"

It was entirely nonsensical, of course! The publications, entitled "RadioDust", were nothing more than voyeuristic speculation on the nature of his supposed relationship with _Angel Dust_. And despite their carnal and often distasteful focus, the Radio Demon did find himself wondering if some of the descriptions surrounding the spider were accurate. The former pornographer had a colorful history and unusual anatomy - that such detailings wouldn't be **too** farfetched, with a little creativity ... Like gutting a _meal_ , really ...

"... _**why** _ am I reading this trash again?"

 _'For research_ _'_ , his inner thoughts supplied helpfully.

* * *

After leaving his new friend in her room to organize at leisure, Angel went searching for Alastor. His last exchange was weird and got him curious, and reminded him about the ‘smiting’ he'd whispered about the other day.

**‘I better be careful, Vaggie and Charlie are gonna throw a fit otherwise. But I could use some fun ... being good all the time is so fucking exhausting. Who does this ALL the time?’**

“Alastor? Are you there?” Angel asked, walking to the office and knocking on the door.

* * *

 _"_ ** _YES, HOW CAN I_ ** _-_ _"_

He hadn't been counting on anyone to come bother him! And ... **maybe** he had panicked - but only a _little_. Enough to teleport directly to the door and block further entry with his full Radio Demon form, which had the benefit of cloaking the entire room in demonic shadows -

"- oh, **Angel**! It's just _you_ -"

\- but then he realised how suspicious that looked, and so a split second later he'd kicked his composure back into gear, shrinking down from the tall, nightmarish wendigo most demons **only** witnessed just before they became his dinner. Back into regular, charming, professional radio-host Alastor.

"You're back! And I 'smell' you've been **drinking** -!"

 _... **why**_ did he have to say that? Well, it was hard _not_ to notice the smell, with Angel standing right in front of his nostrils! But Alastor refused to budge, much like a deer staring into its fate before oncoming traffic.

"Did you ..."

Behind him, the shadows continued to twist and turn, obscuring everything from sight. Even as his expression remained the very suave and relaxed and most **definitely** not-flustered picture of class and composure.

"... **need** something?"

 _Oh, he was_ **_definitely_ ** _screaming inside!_

* * *

"EEK!!"

Angel wasn't expecting Alastor to greet him like a fucking nightmare out of the room. In a second his wings puffed open and free in his fear and he tripped, falling on his ass. He saw the shadows still looming around him and his wings folded around him like a feathery shield. Why did he seem so different just now? 

"Yes it's me! What was that about?!" he asked a bit louder than intended, still on the ground.

Alastor was doing something, and obviously didn't count on being interrupted.

* * *

"Oh, **this**?"

The deer turned around, glancing at the eldritch display behind him. Nothing out of the ordinary, right?

"... **nothing** for your pretty little head to worry about! No, not **one** bit!"

He stepped through the doorway, just barely fitting through due to the lingering magic that granted his antlers an endowed size. And as he stepped around Angel's toppled form and offered the end of his staff for the spider to grab onto (if he needed it), the shadows **slammed** the office door shut in front of them. Alastor paid them no mind, quickly changing the topic.

"Oh! I found this!"

He pulled the article clipping he'd saved from his pocket, the one that showed Valentino in his 'supposed' wounded state, and handed it over to Angel as a means of distraction.

"You did quite the number on him, even the press noticed! Which reminds me -"

He did have a theory to test out. But Angel would **have** to be a willing participant.

"... how goes your training with Charlie?"

* * *

Angel gave him a suspicious look. Alastor rarely cared about hiding his intentions. But he knew it was probably useless to ask if the deer considered it was worth to hide whatever he was doing.

“Between you and me?” He sighed, accepting the help of the cane. “I don’t really feel anything different.” 

When his breathing finally relaxed, his wings went away, magically hidden.

“I’m not even sure if I’m supposed to feel something. But I came ‘cause you told me earlier you wanted to talk.” he reminded him.

* * *

"Hm. I thought so -"

With Angel standing once more, Alastor used the end of his staff again, this time to gently pat his back and start guiding them down the hall. **Away** from the office.

"And you're right - I **did** ask you to come -"

His grin stretched out in distaste, feeling like he'd been newly corrupted despite his overlord status of nearly a century now.

"- because I have an **idea**. But you mustn't tell Charlie. And it **will** require that you get your hands dirty. Though I'm sure you have **plenty** of experience -"

 _Wait_ -

"-as a former member of the mafia and **nothing** more, of course!" he added, chiding his thoughts.

"How'd you like to join me at my radio-station again? But this time, to participate in the **actual** nature of my programme?"

Visceral thoughts helped clear his mind of any lingering haze, and brought him into a clear and sober focus. He grinned, far more genuine now.

"Because it takes more than shallow acts to maintain an overlord's strength! Just as I'm sure it will take more than mere good will to gain access to your full angelic potential."

* * *

That made some sense. After all, angels protected, fought, and punished. Maybe it was time for a more extreme approach instead of Charlie’s gentle charity.

**Those fuckers are no innocent babies, anyway. The princess will be mad, but .... What the hell.**

“As long as you don’t cut me open for your fans, it will be fine.“ Angel pointed out. ”Even if I heal fast, I’m not into that.” 

It had to be said - you never knew with cannibal serial killers.

* * *

" **HA**! -"

Alastor stopped dead in his tracks, his radio signal giving an audible screech. A _sure_ sign that he'd been flustered; "- _n_ _o ?"_

And just like that his thoughts were swimming again, haunted by implications he'd only previously suspected and entertained in jest before. _'_ _ **He's a spider**!'_, he reminded himself ... who'd just said that he **wasn't** into that sort of ' _thing_ '. It should have been a **relief** ...

* * *

“ **’No?’** ” Angel asked incredulously. “You really wanna go there?”

It was not a big surprise Alastor would feel some morbid curiosity for anything like that. But it would be weird explaining to Al what he meant to imply that involved himself and sexual pleasure.There were plenty of demons that got their rocks off on that, he knew. Not being able to die again and regrow organs helped a lot. And Angel had felt his fur rise when he remembered the bloody mess he'd made of Valentino's arm.

The first time he'd seen blood in a fucking long time, and it had to be from that disgusting fucker. Luckily, he'd puked right after and erased any of the odd exciting feelings. **Maybe it's an angelical thing? I don’t remember the last time**... **Nope** , **I’m not gonna open that door right now.**

* * *

 _Go **where**?_ Alastor panicked - had his facade slipped? Some instinct deep in his gut felt that there had been some sort of _serious_ miscommunication. Perhaps he should clarify ..?

"... no, of **course** not! **Definitely** not! In fact, it'll be the other way around - _we'll_ be cutting up **my** fans!"

... but why couldn't he stop thinking about it now? And why did it feel like something in him had just given up and died on the spot ... _Moving on -!_

"You won't even have to **talk** this time! Charlie needn't know a thing - most importantly, **you** might get to learn a thing or two! Think of it as evening classes - the Radio Demon, _after-dark!_

 _ **Why**_ did that last part feel dirtier than he'd intended?

"You get to do your training under my supervision, and I get a proper meal out of it. With the net result being a **_legitimate_** cleansing of Hell, as we eradicate the souls of the **truly** damned and prevent them from respawning. It'll be perfect! _"_

* * *

“Oh ... That, sure.” Angel felt Alastor was messing with him, but he had his own thoughts to escape from. 

“Sure. I'll be your student for one night, why not?” He smiled and tried to shrug off his weirder ideas. “If Charlie and Vaggie don’t know a thing it will be perfect. Where and when, **maestro**?”

* * *

Raising a brow at the use of the honorific, Alastor turned to Angel; "Clever boy - I **knew** you'd see it my way!"

Now, where to meet, exactly? It couldn't be the same location as last time - he couldn't afford to attract unwanted attention.

"... I don't suppose you're familiar with Rosie's Emporium? Used to be Franklin and Rosie's. Well ... until the **last** extermination. She makes the loveliest dresses! And she keeps a spare room in the back for some _rather_ creative projects, if I do say so myself! We often share tips, you see~"

* * *

“Oh, I know the place! I know some of her designs, too, they are the fanciest things ever! Never could buy one of them, but ... at least I'll get to see them.”

It was an extremely convenient excuse to peek at the overlord's work in fashion.

* * *

"Splendid! Then it's settled! Meet me there tomorrow night - Rosie has her own set of affairs on Tuesdays, so it's probably best not to bother her tonight ..."

\--

The day passed, and soon it was Wednesday. There Alastor was, chatting idly over tea with Rosie herself, a few minutes ahead of schedule.

"We _really_ must do this more often, my dear!"

"Hmm. I'd really prefer it if you could just **tell** me more about this grand scheme of yours~"

"Why, but that would ruin the surprise! You **know** I take pride in my presentation!"

"You **always** do ..."

"It's all about the **anticipation** -"

The door clicked open, and creaked on its hinges. Both overlords turned their heads in its direction -

"... your date, I presume?"

"Ha! **Don't**!"

Alastor stood, already on his way to greet Angel. And Rosie remained in her seat, content to simply watch the two men interact.

"Angel! Meet Rosie - Rosie, might I introduce you to _**Angel Dust**?_"

The overlordess wore a bemused expression that very nearly matched one of Al's own sly grins, choosing to stay quiet.

* * *

“Hello, nice to meet you, Rosie. I have always wanted to see your place from the inside!” Angel greeted, waving one of his primary hands while the others gestured about. He gazed around at the fabrics and mannequins to try and ease his nerves.

**Of course she is Alastors friend, I always attract the smiling maniacs.**

* * *

A fan? How _delightfully_ unexpected. The woman blinked, slowly and at her own leisure. "Charmed~"

"See? I told you!" WIth a bit of bright cheer, Alastor let Angel take a look around - there was no harm in it. Not if he was **Alastor's** guest. And besides, the night was young, and they had time to spare. As he hovered near Angel, taking an interest in the styles that caught the spider's wandering eye, their hostess followed them with her gaze, sipping tea.

"You have such _lovely_ arms ... if only I'd been the one to come across you. Instead of **_Valentino_** all those years ago. I do **love** a good mannequin ..."

* * *

“Thank you! What can I say, they are very useful. But they must be individually tailored. Six arms are a lot in the way of clothes, no matter how useful. The **new additions** can at least come and go.” The compliment from the lady overlord made Angel swell with pride, that he couldn’t help but keep talking.

* * *

Alastor knew **exactly** what his colleague was doing. He shot her a look, which she returned with the same sly expression she'd been wearing since Angel joined them.

"I never pegged you for the type ..."

 _Nevermind._ " **Right!** We are **going** now!"

The Radio Demon left Angel's side temporarily - heading into a back room. When he returned, he was dragging along a sack, which the shadows on the floor seemed to following along with. Like a river carrying a lumpy, struggling sack of -

"Don't mind the kicking and screaming -!"

\--

Luckily, it was after hours, so aside from the bit of ambient lighting, there was sufficient cover of darkness within the shop for Alaster to manifest a transport for himself, Angel, and their newest commodity, straight to the radio station. Once there, Alastor released the sack, letting the sinner inside spill about and do as he wished - there was no escape beyond this point. But before any of that -

"I adore her, so it completely slipped my mind ... but I would advise you to keep an eye about yourself when in Rosie's company. She is an absolute **demon** , that one! And an _admirable_ one, at that ..."

* * *

“I figured.“ Angel said with a grin. ”So, who is our friend and how are we supposed to do this?"

Angel needed some information since he didn’t want to risk ruining Al’s show. He didn’t count on surviving if that were to happen.

* * *

The deer's attention was back on the sack, which had sprouted an arm and a leg, and was attempting to crawl off like some deformed sort of larva. In a moment he pinned it in place with his leg, settling his weight on top of its center in order to prevent any further movement. Leaning over, he began to whisper:

" **You** , on the other hand ... **have _no_ such _q̴͜u͟ali͝͝t̷ies͏͢_** _..!"_

His tone suddenly dipped into dangerous territory, harsh with noise and static. It was followed up by a rather swift kick - which caused the sack to cry out and curl in on itself. With a gleeful twirl of his microphone, Alastor used the formerly blunt tip of the staff to penetrate straight through the writhing mass. Crimson spilled and stained the floorboards.

"Yes, why **don't** we introduce ourselves! Then I can _**really**_ get us started! I'm Alastor, and I host a radio show - local production, really, but **very** popular! And **you** ..!"

Finally ripping off the burlap cover, the demon that was unveiled was a hideous thing. He'd yet to develop a proper form, freshly plucked from his fall into Hell, but his most notable feature was the fact that he wore a set of priests' robes ...

"Ah ... why am I **not** surprised? Oh **holy light of the** _ **çhur̷ch̨**_ -"

He looked towards Angel, eyes sporting radio dials in place of pupils. This was a **particularly** despicable case. Certainly a worthy candidate for this experiment.

"His crimes ... involved the perversion of **children** , you _see~_ "

With a tut, Alastor rocked his microphone back and forth like a pivot, twisting its end in place while it was still embedded into their 'guest' sinner. Wails echoed around them, but the Radio Demon paid them no mind.

"... **h** **ave you ever seen an angel, _father_** _?_ _"_

* * *

“Ooooh ..." Angel frowned, but leaned slowly over the demon

“ **In nomine Patris et Filii, et Spiritus Sanсti** \- welcome to Hell, Father. They sent me here just for your fucking pay day, you disgusting freak.”

He grinned, releasing his wings and for a second allowing the gleam of his halo to shine, so that the demon on the ground could appreciate that it was a genuine angel standing before him.

* * *

The sinner began to sob; Alastor cackled darkly at the reaction, suddenly going live on air:

_::... ̵Good ev͏eni̷ng,͟ 'de͞er' l̴is͟teners - tod̢ay we͞ ͝r͏et̷urn to o̵u̶r r̕egu͡la̧r progŗa̶m͘mi̴ng̛. ͝In͏ k̶eepin҉g͞ w͘įt̵h ҉las͞t͢ ҉s̨h͏ow'҉s theme̴, to̢d͟ay͢ ͏we prese̶nt anoţher holy͢ g͡uęs͡t͝. H̨owever ͜...̡ ̴I̴ ͘as͘s͠ur̵e ̡you҉ t̴his ͞i̷s ͝ **no** ḩol̛y ͞m̕a̛n ...:̵:͞_

A small, shadowy twitch in the fabric of reality switched the ends of the microphone stand, so that the sharp end was pointing outwards, and the microphone ... was **inside** the sinner.

_:͡:̛Speąk̢, **ve͏rmin͝**! **::**_

\--

\--

\--

Alastor took a particular thrill in his bouts of dismemberment. Every wound and cut was precise and calculating in its ability to inflict pain and cause _damage_ , even as his victim pleaded for a permanent means to end to his torture. But Alastor could not allow it. Not _yet._

_::... here, ͘today̨ ̕- ͟w҉e ̶wi̛tness a ̸mo̷st͟ **DIV̵IN̢E** jųdge͜ment̕. A s̨inne̶r'͏s h̡ear͠t barȩd befor̷e͜ ͜t͟he ̸elem̵ent̛s̢ whi̧ch will s͢o͘ơn̵ **̨con̸su͘me** hi͡m͟ ..!̷::̵_

It was a literal statement; the organ in question lay exposed before them, still beating despite the eviscerated body which lay open and flayed below, mounted on a butcher block. In this mock trial, Alastor was the sole judge - and Angel, his silent executioner. He hovered about, making sure to catch each bloody, bodily, _pulsating_ sound for his listeners, so that all of _Hell_ would bear audible witness.

But then he paused - he'd never **_eaten_** in front of Angel before. Not like this - not that it would make a difference, considering the carnage that already _was_. He looked towards the fallen angel, gaze questioning in its concern.

"Are you _certain_ you want to stay for this ..?" he asked, silencing the broadcast so that it was just the two of them in the room. When an overlord "killed", it went beyond mere mutilation. There was always an noticeable shift in energy between souls, and the resulting sensation was not a pleasant one for most bystanders to experience.

"He'll still have his soul after this ... I'd rather you not lose your stomach before it's _**your**_ turn to finish him off."

Despite the gore that decorated him, Alastor's expression held a certain serene quality - there was fulfillment to be had in his self-imposed task of culling lesser beings.

* * *

The experience was ... intense. But not completely alien for the spider. He'd seen massacres in both his life and afterlife. He'd seen fine gestures of “persuasion” to make someone talk, as effective as any territorial genocide. He had even participated in certain acts that were bloody and painful, thought they were supposed to have been pleasurable. But looking at Alastor as he performed for his radio show, enjoying each cut of flesh from a front row seat, was definitely a roller-coaster experience. Angel slowly shook his head and waved his hand to indicate to the deer that he could keep going.

The only thing that really made Angel feel afraid was the way the smell of fresh demonic blood filled his senses, in a way that had never happened before. Thrill? Fear? Arousal? Hunger? He wasn’t really sure. But it was almost intoxicating ...

* * *

"... alright!"

And with that, they were back into the full swing of things. Live once more, Alastor chuckled darkly as he climbed on top of his meal.

 _::͡A̛ny ̵ **LA̵ST** pr̵ay̷e͠r͡s?̛:: _he purred, his voice silk and honeyed. The priest had blown out his vocal chords almost a full hour ago - his lungs rasped desperately within his ribs instead, like shriveled balloons. Even if he _wanted_ to, nothing could be said.

::̷I͏n ̕that͜ c̨as͠e ... **_b͘o̵n̵ ̨app̷e̷tit-_** _!:̢:_

In an instant, Alastor's presentable form had been replaced by the full manifestation of the Radio Demon instead. His long limbs sprawled out over the table, and his antlers towered high, branching all the way into the ceiling where they became one with the shadows he possessed. And for about a minute thereafter, there was only the sound of teeth mauling at flesh and bone, snapping and tearing into a perpetual carcass as the overlord consumed his fill. And then came the shift in energy -

**_::H̷͘ss̵͜h̨̨h͞҉h̵̕ḩ̶hh ͟͜.͝.͘..:͘͢͢:̴̴_ **

The beast let out a shuddering hiss, overcome by the sheer density of the sin he had devoured. And just like that, the spectacle ended - Alastor was back to his proportional self, if a bit woozy. Face smeared red, he flopped over on his side to process his meal. And the _'priest'_ , if he could even be called that at this point ... had his sternal cavity completely excavated, scraped clean from the inside out. And despite the horrific nature of his condition, his soul was still **_present_** , unable to escape Hell's eternal realm.

 **:͝:Th̨is** has been your radio host ... _stay **tuned** ..!::_

The broadcast ended, and Alastor lay still after, simply catching his breath.

* * *

Angel braced himself, realizing his legs were a bit shaky. With a deep exhale he materialized a new mace in one of his hands. After a couple of steps, he raised the heavy weapon in the air and in one fluid motion brought it down, crushing the head of the pathetic sinner.

He didn’t even realize his breaths were pretty irregular until the little bit of blood still inside the former demon on the table splattered onto him. Angel wiped his face, but knew he had only smeared the red. 

“Well ...“

He couldn’t really finish that sentence with the painfully obvious ‘I guess he's not coming back’. And now he felt like he'd drunk an extremely strong coffee and needed to run 10 laps in a stadium.

* * *

Alaster didn't budge as he felt the heavy thud of the mace land **so** close and near to his own head, nearly lopping off one of his own ears. As a bit of brain and blood splattered across his own face, the deer turned to face the results of their first "extermination". And a well-deserved one, at that.

" **Tell** me you felt something from that - I know **I** did." he purred, feeling completely relaxed and at ease with his newly replenished strength.

* * *

“I feel like I snorted some really hard stuff!” Angel conceded, massaging the sides of his head. “Like I could climb a mountain or some shit. That’s what you feel when you do that?“

He wasn’t sure if that was the feeling they were supposed to be looking for. Nothing in his brain indicated to him that the soul had gone somewhere special.

* * *

"Yes ... though usually I prefer to have a small nap first. _Then_ I can go and climb mountains for _**days**_ on end ..."

He sighed dreamily, closing his eyes a moment with a content smile: "I just ate a **very** large dinner, Angel - I'm _**satiated**_. It's a lot to process ..."

* * *

“Uh, sure. I will leave you with that, then.” Angel rest the mace on his shoulder and crossed his other arms in front of him to rest. He was feeling more awkward with each passing second, like every hair on his body was raised and ready ...

Looking around, he spotted the window of the station. “You know what, I think some fresh air would be good for me.” He walked over and opened the window, letting his wings spring free.

* * *

The deer's eyes blinked open in his haze. "... fresh air? Does the smell **really** -"

He didn't get to finish his question. "... oh."

* * *

“ **IT WAS FUN! SEE YOU LATER AL**!!” And then the spider flew away, leaving the radio station behind.

It was embarrassing, and Alastor would probably wonder why he'd done that. But he really felt like he needed to go and be somewhere private. Like all of the pent up energy was gonna **embarrass him at any moment.** Of course Alastor wasn’t an option ...

* * *

That was ... disappointing? Feeling the night air permeate the stench of smite, Alastor remained on his back, feeling his shoulders grow slack as he stared at the ceiling deep in thought. He really didn't feel like moving ... or doing much of anything right now. He might as well resign himself to the usual bout of unconsciousness ...

"..."

But at least it **had** worked ... right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic will now be updating fridays per [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove)'s request. happy reading!  
> \- ornithia


	8. 🎨 Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel needs to have a long hard thought about things ... Meanwhile Frankie has an unexpected run-in while running out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Charlie Magne  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Frankie (OC)

Illuminated by her phone, Frankie walked to the kitchen for a glass of water. But she jumped when she heard groaning in the darkness. 

“Angel?“ She asked, turning on the lights. There he was, holding a bottle of rum in one hand and an empty glass in the other hand. But instead of drinking, he had his forehead resting against the table, mumbling nonsense.

“What?” His tone was flat, a sure sign that he wasn’t in a good mood.

“What are you doing, drinking alone in the dark at 3am?”

He filled his glass again. “What does it look like I’m doing? Except apparently I can’t even get drunk, now!”

Picking up a spare glass, Frankie sat in front of him and poured herself a bit of rum. “Okay, tell me what crawled up your ass.”

He groaned again. “If I had something in my ass, it would be the solution, probably! But I jerked off until I was dry. This fucking angelical bullshit!”

“What if you start from the beginning? And ... I have emergency candy stashed in my room if you want.”

“Lead the way, bun.” 

They talked a lot. But Angel didn’t want to involve Frankie **too** much in the details of his problems. So they ended up watching videos on Frankie's phone, while watching her draw the weirdest of demonic dicks ever on her drawing pad. 

It wasn't until their improvised slumber party ended with the both of them crashing on a mess of covers and pillows that Angel felt way better. 

When he finally woke up again, it too late to make breakfast. And Frankie was so knocked out, curled up at the foot of the bed that he simply left the bunny to sleep. He left her room, and left for the kitchen regardless of time

* * *

"There you are, Angel!"

Charlie had been on her way to the kitchen herself when she ran into him - _just_ the spider she needed to see. Glad to see he was doing well, she tagged along, oddly quiet. Until she started talking a mile a minute:

"- I couldn't find you earlier today for morning mass. And I was going to send you a text in case you'd forgotten ... until Vaggie told me it was probably because I've been overworking you the past few days. With your "angel" training and all that. _**Sorry**! -_"

She kept following him, continuing with her apology: "- so I **totally** understand if you need a break - even if you don't need one! Because we're friends! We're supposed to support each other - I don't want to use you just because you **happen** to be able to provide exactly what I need. I mena, you're not exactly the first fallen angel in Hell, and you probably won't be the last! And besides all that, you definitely don't owe me anything - this is **my** challenge. I shouldn't be making it yours, or anyone else's, too -"

She huffed, clearly feeling the weight of her guilt.

* * *

"Yeah, yeah. I needed a break. It's okay, princess." 

He felt a pinch of guilt in his guts - he'd just found out something about angels ... But how to tell Charlie without upsetting her?

"You want some coffee? And I need fuel, so some toast sounds good, too." He tried to form an excuse in his head while his hands got the coffee and some jam.

"Look Charlie, I know you are trying to do your part, but maybe ... chill, you know? The redemption thing worked when I wasn't thinking about it too much. You know when you try too hard and things turn out even worse? We could all use a break. And I learned the other heaven stuff I know by myself, so maybe I need to do my thing on my own for a bit ..."

Mid-explanation, Angel finished the simple meal, and served toast and coffee for himself and Charlie. "What do you think?" 

* * *

Giving a silly smile, because she was glad things were still cool between her and her friend, Charlie nodded. "Sounds good to me!"

\--

Tucked away in the music section of a bookstore stood Alastor, oblivious to the world. He was a completely different sight from the previous night - he had showered, for one, and he was wearing a clean outfit. Very similar to his preferred set, though just different enough to notice. In addition, the bags under his eyes from the stress of recent events had all but vanished overnight, and his bright red hair had attained a healthy-looking sheen with a texture that was feather-soft to the touch.

He was the _very_ picturesque image of youth, and he was drifting away to the sounds of New Orleans jazz. This particular track was even from the exact sort of compilation he would have curated whilst still alive and human ...

No one dared to comment on how ridiculous the headphones that sat on his head looked, crooked because they did not properly accommodate his deers' ears despite his many attempts to fold them beneath the padded cups.

* * *

Frankie had mindlessly wandered into the music section of that very same bookstore. The more she advanced, the older the music became, with covers that were really pretty. The colors and outfits of the 20's and 30's were so cute that she considered buying one besides a book she'd picked up while browising, "Infamous Drags of Hell". Many celebrities, including Angel Dust, were compiled in its interviews reviewing their performances. Maybe she could even have him autograph it for her ...

Suddenly there was the sound of familiar humming. The voice, tinged with a touch of old radio static made Frankie raise her head, just far enough to spot and recognise the Radio Demon's red and black hair.

 **'Oh, crap! He is looking at me!** ' Her ears fell to her sides when the red eyes landed on her. 

* * *

He'd barely noticed her, to be honest - it wasn't until she drifted close to him. Of her _own_ volition, might he add - and it wasn't **his** fault he could detect the fear he personally instilled within a 30 foot radius. He stopped humming near instantly, raising a curious brow.

"If you're looking for Angel Dust **, I** would suggest the hotel. Most likely the kitchen. Or wrapped up in another one of the princess's brilliant _'experiments'_." he offered, though he sounded far more toned down than usual - what other reason **would** there be, for someone who so clearly feared him to ignore their flight instinct and continue their approach?

* * *

Frankie shifted from scared to a bit offended. 

"I what? Excuse me?" She frowned and put her hands on her hips. But it was very hard to be intimidating as a small rabbit demon. 

She was the one listening to Angel's issues yesterday night! Issues of the heart that this guy was gonna make worse tomorrow, probably.

* * *

He would have continued listening to his music. But now the rabbit was staring at him, and it was **really** ruining the moment. Turning back to her, he gave a very unamused smile.

"You **do** realise I'm the Radio Demon, _**right**?"_

He loomed, towering over her. "Now, is there something I can help you with? Or are you simply going to keep **staring** at me? Because I'm not interested - and even if I was, **I would strongly advise _against_ it."**

* * *

Frankie wasn't made of stone, of course she was scared! But messing with the wrong people was one of her biggest defects. And Alastor just kept wanting to piss her off without reason. 

"So the girl must want the powerful, famous guy, huh? How did you get that lazy? Ugh, what does HE even see in you? Why does he even try to respect you!" She tried to not make a scene, keeping her voice low. But her legs seemed to move by themselves, thumping up a tantrum on the floor.

**'If he wanted to eat me, he would have already done it.'**

* * *

Was she **really** that dense? But then again ... she was a whore by profession. And rabbits had a habit of multiplying ... _clearly_ her brain had made its home in the gutter. Although her comments about Angel had caught his attention - they _were_ still talking about the spider, weren't they?

"Now, let's _not_ make a scene - I wouldn't want to make a rabbit **stew** so soon after lunch ..!"

The second he took a step towards her, every demon within a 30 foot radius scattered; they were in the music section, after all. Of **course** his broadcasts had gained a reputation amongst Hell's audiophiles.

"I ask again - **how can I help you**?"

Now that he was up-close and personal, he took the opportunity to reach down with the end of his microphone and pin the top of the rabbit's foot to the ground, ceasing her from continuing with her next bout of thumping - it was the _last_ thing he needed.

* * *

**'Okay, if I'm gonna be slaughtered, at least I tried.'**

"Tell me the truth - I don't want to see him like that anymore! He will be able to move on," she said, feeling her eyes watering. " _Then_ you can eat me if you want." 

Frankie wasn't sure if there was any coming back from being eaten by a powerful demon. But after going without kindness for so long, Angel's kind gesture had made it feel like this moment was worth it (even if she knew her 'rescue' had simply been a coincidence).

**'Die on your feet or live on your knees …'**

* * *

Ok, they HAD to be talking about Angel Dust, this time he was sure of it! Was this about last night? Had they gone too far - had **he** gone too far? He'd _warned_ the spider that the conclusion of their ritual might overwhelm him ..!

"We are going to **TALK -** "

However ... they were far too exposed here. He didn't like it. So Alastor snapped them into a new location - and despite a completely different atmosphere, it actually wasn't very far. They were in the boiler room, dark and dank with the only available source of light coming from the head of his microphone ... and the Radio Demon's very own eyes. They blinked at her, red and focused - he needed to get some straight answers of his own.

"- now tell me. **What** do you know about _Angel Dust?_ "

* * *

Frankie felt the sudden change and how in the blink of an eye they were somewhere else. She gasped at the creepy effect of Alastor's eyes and dabbed her eyes dry with the back of her hand ... that was still holding that darn book. Oh well.

"What do you mean?" She tried to compose herself. "As a person, you mean? I told you ... I'm worried. He is a nice guy, we get along. He is funny, he cares about the hotel. About the princess of Hell, and for some reason, about **YOU**..."

* * *

The glowing eyes rolled in the darkness ... of course Angel cared about him! They were friends! Even ... even if Alastor found it hard to believe. Or accept. _Or_ express. But Angel **knew** that - and he'd been making an effort to reach out. To teach him; _guide_ him - it was the very textbook definition of "friendship", if Charlie were to be believed!

"But **why** are you worried? Did he say something? Did he _do_ something?"

He was aware **something** had happened last night - but he had no idea _what_. And while he maybe had an inkling of what she was getting at ... he had to play dumb in front of this girl, lest he reveal too much. Her obsession with Angel disgusted him for some irking reason, and at worst it was suspect ... she had only **just** recently been working under Valentino, and was still technically under his contract.

An overlord, whom Angel Dust had maimed. An overlord, who not only held a vendetta, but who was partnered with the **one** person in hell whom _he_ trusted _**least -**_

"You'll have to excuse my many questions - we _did_ just pick you up off the street only a week ago. And you're but a mayfly, so I'm sure you're not aware! But down here in Hell, strays have a _**nasty** _ habit of turning on the hand that feeds them, **you know** ..."

* * *

This guy was either good at playing dumb, or he was just that stupid.

"Are you for real? Do I look like I can beat you? I'm literally facing the Radio Demon 'cause I'm worried for him."

At risk of sounding dramatic, she continued. "I never had a lot of friends, you know?. And could you just stop with the prostitute jokes? Because that would be great."

Sure, sex was her job. Even when she rarely did it in the more "traditional" sense. But sex with strangers for fun had never appealed to her.

* * *

His pupils switched to radio dials - they were getting _nowhere_ with this! Alright - so he'd play along. And if she made _**one** _ misstep ... there were **no** rules against having a snack in-between feedings. He stood up straight, readjusting his monocle.

"Alright, let's make a _**deal** _ \- I'll tell you the truth. And in return, you tell me what **I want to know**..."

His eyes dimmed, and the room lost some of its trace lighting. "The truth is, I don't **like you** \- I don't like how you follow him around. I don't like the way you **look** at him, or how much time you spend with him. The way you hang on to his every **word** -"

The room drew dimmer still - "... and I don't like how you _d͏͏̛i͠st̢ract_ him - he has a greater purpose than either you or I will **_ever_** know. The more you keep leading him astray, the more you threaten to _**take** _ that gift **awa̵y** fro̕m̷ h͢i͏m -"

The room was completely opaque now. And in that cover of darkness, a moist drop of fluid fell with a silent splash. Only Alastor heard it.

"... are we satisfied? Good, splendid! Now tell me ... what happened _w̢it̛h **Ang͝el Du͠st**?"_

* * *

" **Alright, alright**! He thinks you find him disgusting! He feels hurt, and he likes you but doesn't think he has a chance! He doesn't know what to do!"

Frankie was yelling by this point, curled up defensively. "He wishes he could only want to be your friend, but he really likes you ..."

Kneeling on the floor, the bunny whimpered, praying for it to be quick.

* * *

Alastor said nothing - he just continued staring up into black space, waiting for his composure to return to him.

"... no ..."

His voice sounded exceedingly tired. And it was still completely dark.

"... just leave me alone ..."

* * *

"What?" She moaned, completely confused.

"'No'? What does that even mean? Stop messing with him! You are sex-repulsed, not heartless! Stop the jealous boyfriend charade! And let me go from here! I'm done!"

At the risk of murder, she was now she throwing a fit. She was too aware of how being threatened so many times caused her to get a bit hysterical.

* * *

His hand went up to his face, touching the corners of his mouth. **Still** no good ...

"I'm not **heartless**..." he growled, though he couldn't really afford the strength to be offended. For all of his good intentions, it appeared he'd been misinterpreted, and that **everything** had backfired. What did it matter if he was or wasn't heartless, now?

"And don't you **get** it!? I can't give him what he wants! I'm sparing him the misfortune of having to chain himself to a loveless **monster**! And besides - he wants to be redeemed! Those **idiots** in Heaven wouldn't know a good thing if it came and died straight on their doorstep - which it **did** , and they **didn't**! He can do _so much more_ \- he and Charlie could make an actual difference ... but **_no_**. He wants **me** , he keeps coming back to **me**! An **overlord** , demon among demons! I'm **ruining** what he is, and that was me trying to _help!_ Just -"

 _Just like he ruined everything back in life_. When he still had his mother ... His eyes finally lit back up, burning brighter than before. His grin, however, was stretched unnaturally across his face. His tone, too, took on a cool and even tone.

"- how do you think _I'm_ supposed to feel about it?"

* * *

"... How can you be loveless if you seem to care so much? You just ignored everything to protect him? Isn't that what friendship is? Or what love is? Even if you DON'T feel romance ... There's something there."

Hyper-aware of his words, she lowered her tone by a lot. Slow, careful, but still tense. The adrenaline rush was doing things to her.

* * *

He didn't believe her. Even so, he had to ask. He had nothing to lose, right?

_"... **w** **hat should I do?** "_

* * *

"Hum, everyone is different but ... Maybe if you never feel the desire to pair up with anyone, because it feels boring or like, there's too much pressure so you feel better alone ... you can still perform acts of affection. You can even have a partner and just enjoy their company as long as you know each other's limits." 

Frankie, still on the ground, rest her right hand against her chin trying to put her thoughts into simple words.

"You **don't have to** do anything you don't want to. I know Angel sees that you are repulsed by sex, and it seems he doesn’t mind, if that's still worrying you. And you obviously want to help him and protect him, even if you suck at it. You have options, like holding hands and cuddling. That's nice even just between friends." A shy smile tugged at the corner of her lips. She didn't want him to misinterpret her as if she was mocking him, but the whole situation was too funny, if not a bit bizarre. 

* * *

The deer sneered. "I do not **cuddle -** "

But hand holding? ... Alastor blinked; perhaps he **could** manage. Even so - it was an oversimplification, and he knew it. But still, it was a _start_ -

"... I trust you value your miserable pinprick of a claim to existence. So I will let you live - _for now._ **This** never happened, **do I make myself** **::͝c͜lear͡-:͜:**?"

The red light of his eyes shone directly onto her face, scanning her for any signs that might betray her. This had gotten **entirely** too personal for his liking, and he would take measures to _**ensure**_ it stayed private, if it came to it ...

"... I will take you **_back_** , now -"

And just like that, they were back in the bookstore, Alastor innocently listening to his tunes once more.

* * *

Frankie blinked several times, realizing the whole thing was probably over now that she was in the library again. She stood up from the floor, leaving her book on the nearest shelf and walking away, feeling like a rusty robot. 

**_She needed a drink._ **

-.- .-.-

Later that day, Angel Dust faced the door of the Magne mansion and rang the bell. 

"Here we go." 

He didn't have the emotional attachment Charlie obviously felt for her dad, and he really didn't know where else to ask what he needed. But who was better than the ruler of Hell for this kind of investigation?

* * *

(Nekokolove says: Dont worry, this is an extra joke and they WILL NOT have this kind of dynamic at all. [You can see more draws, especially tons of hazbin stuff here. ](https://twitter.com/AwkwardCatArt)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. happy (early) halloween everyone! 🎃
> 
> 2\. i'll be hosting an art stream this saturday where i'll go through and attempt to draw as many of goretober's prompts as i possibly can. please check out my [twitter](https://twitter.com/ornithia_tsen) for an announcement and link that day. you can check out my art on tumblr and pixiv (links on my profile) for reference if you think that's up your alley
> 
> 3\. see you next week!
> 
> \- ornithia


	9. Dirty little secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snakes, white lies, and forbidden fruit. What could _possibly_ go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Charlie Magne, Lucifer, Sir Pentious  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty, Frankie (OC)

When the doors opened, Angel was greeted by a pair of goat demons. But not the familiar kind that usually followed Charlie around - these were _much_ bigger. And had a decidedly more monstrous complexion ... Taking one look at Angel, they looked to one other before grabbing the spider, pulling him inside to lead him down a very long hall ...

\--

They were greeted by Hell's one and only _King_.

"Now, boys - put him down! ... Hmm. Not exactly the guest I was hoping for ..."

Heeding his words, the goat pair released Angel and immediately after transformed into smaller, formal versions of themselves. In this new state, they shared a closer resemblance to Razzle and Dazzle ... only less cute, and at a more mature stage in their development.

"How's my princess doing?" Lucifer piped, casually dismissing their 'audience' with a wave of his hand.

* * *

"Ugh! That was unnecessary!" Angel complained, fixing his clothes. "She is fine. Doing the best she can to not drive me crazy with her ideas. Which is why I'm here, Your Highness."

His tone lacked any kind of reverence, but Angel's patience was wearing thin.

"I would prefer her happy, so from a newly graduated angel to an erudite: I need to ask you some questions." He was probably overstepping a million boundaries by the minute, but at this point he didn't give a shit. **'This one is for you, guys.'**

* * *

"I can see why my little girl likes _you!"_

Charlie had a way of picking friends - which Lucifer often relished, due to her habit of stirring controversy with her efforts. Only this time, said controversy was putting a strain on his relationship with his _only_ child, heir, and daughter. And that was simply unacceptable! With a snort, the ruler of Hell leered down at what he supposed was _technically_ his 'cousin' - dismayed as he was with the fact.

"Let me guess - she told you about purification, but she didn't tell you _how_ to do it. Is that it? Do I get a prize?"

* * *

"Yes, she missed that part, apparently. And I have no way of knowing if it's real. They didn't share a lot of things with me up there ... kinda makes me wish I had burned down the entire library."

He paused, thinking about how being nice and honest all the time was hard work.

"I just need to know if that part's actually true and how it's supposed to work. You don't have to do anything except tell me, and I will manage it."

* * *

Lucifer thought of Charlie, and how she'd run off. She reminded him so much of himself! So much of Lilith, too ... he couldn't bear to repeat their history with her!

"Knowledge is a dangerous thing. You _do_ understand ..?"

Plucking the apple from his hat, Lucifer got up from his throne and walked down its tall set of steps towards Angel Dust.

* * *

"I figured. That's why they kicked me out, because they thought I had read their 'things'. But I'm not an expert in dead languages."

Angel tried not to flinch seeing Lucifer approach - he was still expecting to piss off the ruler in some way, ever since he had come back to Hell.

"... I have nothing to lose. But that fucking hotel is the last place I have ..." 

'... **It's become a real home**.'

* * *

"Of course they did -"

The King of Hell tossed his apple from one hand to the other, looking at Angel Dust - he didn't bother coming _all_ the way down the steps. Just enough so that he could be eye-level with the spider was sufficient. And as he addressed him, Lucifer gave a wide sneer - he still didn't think very highly of humanity. **Especially** men.

"Your ancestor found himself in a similar pickle once! Adam, was it? Well ... you know the story, I'm sure! And that thing they say about **_apples_** falling from **_trees_** -"

A _ **very**_ long and serpentine tongue flicked out between the sharp points of his grinning teeth, and Lucifer's pupils narrowed into slits. He continued:

"... in this apple, I've poured _all_ the knowledge you could possibly want about the purification of souls. The process, steps, consequences -"

He tossed the apple to Angel, for the spider to catch. "- and there **will** be consequences. Think of it as making a pact with **_God_ -"**

One didn't have to be a believer to note the way his tongue fumbled about the _revered title,_ making obvious a certain tension that had **persisted** for millennia.

"If you take a bite of that apple ... you will **know** . Your fate will be sealed, and you will have no choice in the matter of how or _when_. You simply **will** \- and you will **want** to, at whatever cost. **Including your own.** Or -"

From behind himself, Lucifer whipped out his iconic cane - a simple black shaft, topped with an apple nearly-identical to the one Angel held.

"- you can leave it, and we can **both** disappoint Charlie. And _I'll_ get to have caramel apple for dessert - we can all go back to living miserably ever after in Hell! Just as we were always meant to!"

* * *

Angel caught the apple and stared at it for a long time while Lucifer finished his discourse - Charlie. Vaggie. Alastor. Cherri Bomb. His sister. All the damned souls he ever met. Try to make a difference, even if he could agree that some demons were just disgusting freaks?

**'But that can change, right? ... I sound like Charlie now.'**

"You ..." He looked at the king, "You obviously never passed out alone on a dirty alley up to your ass on drugs, right?"

And finally he took one big bite from the fruit, hoping for the best.

* * *

Lucifer balked - _humans!_

"No. My wings just caught fire while plummeting thousands of miles straight into an oversized rock of a planet. But you're right, you **definitely** had it worse -!"

* * *

"How curious! He kind of abandoned me when I was a human to live on the streets, then threw me into Hell for it - then threw me into Hell AGAIN after I managed to climb ranks." Angel said, while making his way towards the exit. "I just don't get why _you're_ so salty."

* * *

The former archangel laughed an unholy sound, wiping away a sarcastic tear as he turned around. "- oh. Don't think I _won't_ eradicate you - I'm only allowing this for _Charlie's_ sake. I'm not **nearly** as merciful as the god you once _knew_ and worshiped -"

A set of wings that had once been as beautiful as they were now ugly materialised from his back, and Lucifer flew himself back to his throne, cheery as ever.

"Run along, now - I'd like to see my little girl smile again _before_ the end of the century!"

* * *

"You can kill me later Lucifer, it’s gonna be a pleasure! Thank you for everything!" He abandoned the place with his head buzzing over a million things. Facts and history, but also probable risks. 

**'I can't tell the others about all this. Fuck.'**

* * *

* * *

Alastor was in Charlie's office again. And it seemed that his presence had at _last_ convinced the girl to venture back within the space after staying away nearly a full stubborn week. Of course, it was only under the condition that Lucifer's portrait be turned around. What a _shame_ -

"I still feel **bad** about it -"

"- well, **don't**! You'll end up just like _me_ if you do -"

Interrupted, Charlie gave the radio demon a quizzical look. Did **he** just try to make her feel better about -

"- _wasted_ opportunities! If only I hadn't held back as much as I had in life ... I could've dragged _so_ many others down here **_wi̢͢th ̸̡m̷̵͠e_** _..._ "

 _Damn it!_ She watched as Alastor got up from his seat and pulled a record out of thin air. Which he then placed delicately onto the turntable at the far corner of the room. A light, playful melody filled the air a moment later -

"Now - let's get your mind off of things! Care to have a dance with _moi_ \- _' **sha**?"_

He extended his hand in offer - to _**Vaggie**_. From her chair, Charlie suddenly looked thrilled at this new prospect - she _always_ loved seeing Alastor dance! And that it would include Vaggie, this time - she was always just _so pretty_ to look at, with her long, _**gorgeous**_ hair ...

* * *

Vaggie shot a look at him, then blinked at Charlie several times - the _things_ she did for love ...

With a look that said _'I don't like you and this is only for Charlie so keep your hands to yourself or I will chop them off'_ , she reluctantly took the demon's hand.

.-.-.- 

"Husk, give me another one."

"No way, you crazy bunny. Go drag your drunk ass somewhere else."

"I neeeeed to forgeeeet!"

"No." he grunted, chugging his bottle. The rabbit rested her head on the countertop, then countered: "Fuck you!"

* * *

"Hold on tight!"

Despite her loathing, Vaggie was a skilled dance partner. Paired with Alastor, the two exhibited the sort of intensity that was usually followed up with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. They spun a few times in the small space the office had to offer - and then Charlie got tired of simply watching, deciding it was now _her_ turn to sway with the Radio Demon and relieve her girlfriend of his burden.

The dynamic shifted in the new pair - Charlie's energy translated into a playfulness that took a far more acrobatic turn between them. She could run Alastor's stamina straight through to the ground if she really wanted. And she **almost** did -

But they stopped before that could happen - the princess was being called down to the lobby. There was a recent arrival who was **specifically** requesting that the " **wretched** Americanised-crouton!" stay away from his " **immaculate eyeballs**!".

And so it was that Alastor now found himself simply listening to his record, alone and perched upon the corner of Charlie's deserted desk once more. ' **Perhaps now would be a good time to seek out the spider** …'

* * *

"Just stay still, you fucking mouthful of a noodle!!" Angel Dust warned their 'guest', leaving him on the ground. He was tired of the snake's struggling. "You should fucking learn to not mess with people that can kick your ass out there!"

By the sidelines, Niffty was divided between cleaning up the dirt and the bloodstains Sir Pentious was spreading, and helping the others assist in handling the long cobra demon.

* * *

He was being _very_ uncooperative, even as Charlie joined in the effort to wrangle him.

" **Ooh**! And if I don't!? Hey - WATCH your **fingers**!!"

"I'm **sorry**! It's just, they're just _everywhere!_ "

"As they **should** be!"

 _ **Why did he have to have so many eyes**!?_ It made the princess' job _significantly_ more difficult as she tried to mend him, trying _not_ to poke the slitted red sclera that dotted his body and peeked out between rows of scales. Not that it stopped his own minions from poking at him - but at least they weren't being yelled at!

Wrapping up the task, Charlie slumped back. "There! But ... you're probably going to have to stay here and recover for a while -"

" **WhAAAAT**!?? That's _poppycock!_ Now - if you've finished your healing, then I believe I should be able to - aaAAAAhhHH, ooOOooOOHHHH!!!"

Pentious writhed and spasmed in pain, while every demon within range of the whole fiasco clutched their ears.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO LOUD!?"

"SSSPARE ME YOUR SSSQUANDERING AND GET ME TO A ROOM ALREADY, YOU DALLYING MISSY! OOOOOOOHHH MY **SSSSSSSSSPIIIIIIIIIINE**!!"

* * *

In the end it took three demons to carry the snake between them, followed by those annoying eggs to keep a close eye on him.

"How does he survive down here, seriously?" Angel asked. But even having Vaggie at his side, he wasn't waiting for an answer.

"Are we really gonna let him stay? He blew up a wall last time ..." Vaggie reminded him.

"I have no fucking idea, go ask your girl. I've had a long day."

He went and looked for Alastor, because he was the only person he could probably talk about the new and delicate matter with. He would accept the truth of Angel's investigation without much drama and he would play along, getting his hands dirty as needed to get some actual results.

Maybe he could even help him to think about what to do.

* * *

By now, Alastor had turned the music off - it wasn't helping him get anywhere, and it was far more entertaining to eavesdrop on the incessant screaming that echoed through the hotel. Why did that voice sound familiar again ..?

"Oh - Angel!"

He nearly stumbled off his corner of the desk when the spider entered without warning - at least _this_ time he wasn't poring over incriminating publications.

"How did it - well, I suppose _whatever_ it was, it sounded very **chaotic** out there! Too bad I wasn't allowed to engage! ... I couldn't **imagine why**."

Small talk was difficult enough when one did not have a particular objective in mind. Furthermore, ad libbing seemed ... disingenuous. At least in _this_ instance.

* * *

"Ah, it wasn't a big deal. We will probably have that snake around for a bit." he said, waving a hand. "Listen, you got time? I need to talk to you and it's important. Preferably alone, where no one can listen to us." He requested, trying to contain his big mouth for everyone's sake.

* * *

 ** _Oh_** _?_ "Ah - yes! I mean, of **course**! Now let's see -"

 _This_ was an interesting proposition - coincidence, perhaps? Alastor tried not to seem flustered by the idea that something might have been **_said_** as he gathered himself up, trying to focus on ... _where could they_ ...

"- I believe there are still a few spare rooms up above. Why don't we go and grab ourselves one while they're still vacant!"

He didn't even have to snap his fingers this time - the adrenaline _alone_ was enough to trigger their transport. And the shadows chose to manifest them at the heart of the nearest detectable void, pitch black and spacious. Unbothered by the darkness, Alastor stepped around Angel, followed by the sound of his own footsteps.

"Now, how to get these pesky lights to turn on ..."

He searched around, for either a lamp or some sort of light switch. When he finally spotted a chain-pull, he tugged it -

"My, would you look at that! This would've **far** more accommodating than the office just an hour ago -"

And then Alastor felt the words die in his throat as he realised - it was a **honeymoon** suite.

"... you said you just had to **talk**?"

* * *

"I didn't even know they had these ones here." Angel sat cross-legged on the spacious bed. "Look, you better take a seat or something 'cause you are gonna need it." He inhaled and exhaled, getting ready to start.

* * *

A seat. On a bed. Beside Angel. In a **honeymoon** suite ...

"Ah-hah ... you might be more right about that than you ** _think_** _!"_

_It's **just** a room! No different than any of the others! Just ignore the obviously heart-shaped pillows and the queen-sized bed and -_

He sat a perfectly reasonable, non-suspicious distance away from the spider and sunk into the mattress, as one was expected to. The very plush and accommodating mattress, that cupped his form **perfectly** and had _no_ doubt seen use -

" **\- well**! Are you just going to keep me waiting or -"

"Gosh! ... Do you think **he** will fit on this? He's got sooo much tail ... I wish _**I**_ could be his mattress ..."

 _Never_ had Alastor felt more grateful for loud neighbors. They could hear the sound of moving furniture and miniature footsteps, and then the louder drag of a bed being pushed out through a door.

"Careful now ... wait, oh, _oh no, **AAAAAAA**!_ He's _**cracked**_! I'm SO sorry, it just **slipped**! But wait, there's **glue** on the ship -!"

Now **that** was funny. The panicked cries of little egg minions, in conjunction with his own quiet suffering made Alastor cackle despite himself, allowing him to relax more naturally against the bed.

* * *

"Those things must share one brain cell between 'em ..." Angel mumbled. "How do I fucking start with this? The other day in your show ... I felt extremely weird. Nothing about what you were doing, I mean - you are yourself. I'm sorry I kind of ran away. I needed to clear my head." he rubbed the back of his neck "And I needed answers, but I think I found a lot more than I can handle."

He pointed at the deer. "I need to tell you this but it has to stay between you and me for now ... got it, Al?"

* * *

"Ah - **that**. I have to admit, I had my concerns ..."

_**When you flew off and left me alone to stew in my pit of bones and despair.** _

**Not** that he felt resentment for it. But it was ... _strangely_ reassuring. To know he hadn't been imagining things. And that he hadn't crossed some unspoken boundary or made him feel ... **things**. Or maybe Angel was just being nice, to cover for whatever he _**really**_ wanted to talk about **_-_ ******

"... we've been keeping several secrets now. I **hardly** see how another one could hurt at this point. So yes - go on. _Tell_ me -"

 _' **And confess** ',_ his black heart whispered, somewhere deep and stubborn within the confines of his corrupted soul.

* * *

"So, I paid a visit to our Royal Shortness Lucifer. After he was done with his pity party of _'Daddy never loved me_ ', he gave me the real deal. I got the entire story and I'm not sure where to start working on it."

* * *

That ... was not what he'd been expecting to hear. But it was **_very_ ** relevant. Alastor sat up straight, intrigued.

"You spoke with Lucifer? And he just **told** you? No catch?"

They were talking about the Great Deceiver, after all - it wasn't _exactly_ easy to believe.

* * *

"Call me gullible, but I don't think he was lying. He knows lots of things that would make Charlie upset. And he seemed like he wanted to not be a complete asshole to her for once. Plus, he told me things that will make our radio interview look like child’s play, trying to recruit demons just to kick angelical asses."

* * *

 **Now** Alastor was slightly offended; he had put a great deal of effort into their presentation! Spontaneous, **_yes_ -** but also genuine and raw in its unscripted passion! And he was not going to be shown up in front of Angel by the likes of _Lucifer_ , king or otherwise!

"So ... what is it you need? _More_ demons? Because I have **plenty** more to pick from. In fact, my connections go so far as to allow me to acquire other resources, _should you **require** them_ ..."

Alastor didn't exactly wield the sort of monopolised proprietorships common to most other overlords. His assets were few and far between, and the enterprises for which he _was_ recognised was about as tangible as his medium. But material possessions were but **one** form of currency in Hell, and by _no_ means were they the **_only_** means of transaction. The deer grinned, encouragingly.

* * *

"Al ... when we killed that demon. You fed from it and were able to use that to keep your powers strong so you could keep sinning. Well, I 'fed' from it, too, and felt so much energy.What Charlie said can be done; **_angels are like recycling machines_.** Because that's how they purify." 

He looked at his hands thinking how impossible it sounded that HE might actually be able to do it. Not Lucifer or any of the ancient fallen angels wandering around in Hell - just him. 

* * *

"You recycle? I suppose that's _one_ way to put it, crudely speaking ..."

But if they were 'recycling', then there had to be a product, right? Recalling that night ... Angel hadn't looked any different. Or gained any new powers. He just said he'd felt strange, and then he'd flown off, _**acting**_ strange. Was there more to it that Alastor hadn't gotten, apart from is usual satiety?

"... in what way?"

* * *

Angel felt a small knot form in his throat; they were entering the prickly details now.

"They use the extermination to accumulate energy, and with it they then purify sinners ... To go back to Earth. Only they don't do it anymore."

* * *

"Ah ... so a **gradual** accumulation of power. As opposed to our -"

Glancing at Angel, he considered what he'd just been told, and corrected himself: "- **my** more immediate acquisition. On a per-soul basis."

Just how many souls would Angel need to reap and harvest? The Exterminations were **massive** cullings; even if one were to divide the casualties among the reported number of angels ...

"... _hold the three, carry the one, wait, no no no that can't be right!_ That's at **least** several dozen sinners! Assuming you don't _actually_ need more -"

At this rate Alastor would have to break out his naughty list! And it would be a damn shame, too - wasting potential fuel, burning away his reserves. Simply because it served the greater good!

* * *

"It depends on the individual slayed; I will know when it's enough. But it's not gonna be easy. I can't do it all the time - I started to feel extremely intense things after that energy boost. Smell, touch, sounds. Exterminators in general seem to feel attraction to demon blood, like fucking bloodhounds. 'Cause it's their purpose to help sinners, **just like Charlie said**. No wonder why Lucifer and the other fallen are so sore about it."

* * *

Alastor blinked, and half-wondered if he was about to pry into dangerous territory.

"You mean like food ... right?"

Because that was how **he** felt when he was running low on power. Famished - like the state of existence absolutely _depended_ on him sinking his teeth into the nearest creature. He'd learned to cope with the sensation ... but it didn't mean he didn't still **relish** in it during his feedings.

* * *

He felt a bit of embarrassment, because it was not something he often talked about.

"I guess you can put it like that ... to be honest it wouldn't be the first time I've felt like a predator. This freaking spider body has its cons.''

And it went too far from the brand of taboos he usually felt more comfortable with. **'But I guess who better to understand it than a famous cannibal.'**

* * *

" **Really!? I mean** -"

He really **_should not_** have felt as excited about hearing that tidbit as he was. But it was **_so hard_ ** finding someone to relate to in that way - most demons, even those who found themselves newly armed with carnivorous features, still stubbornly held on to moral traditions from the mortal realm. And then there was Alastor, whom had already abandoned such trivial notions while he'd still been **alive.** And he found it rather unjust, and even a bit petty, that his demonic forme should take on the traits of a **deer** , of all things -

"... personally, I don't know if even **_I'd_** be able to keep up with you in an "eating" contest. Even if you weren't a spider - I've seen how fast exterminators go through their kills, and it's _certainly_ more than I could ever imagine devouring in a single sitting! We'd have to devise a schedule, and -"

 **- _it would mean spending a lot more time together_** _._ Alone, and in secret. A potential environment for intimacy to take root and flourish in. And at _least_ it would be on familiar grounds, but ... was it wise? To risk letting personal feelings he was merely _curious_ about get involved in such groundbreaking matters? He could get overwhelmed - his instincts could make him turn tail, and **_flee_ -**

"- you are no ordinary 'angel'. At least **that** much is certain."

* * *

Angel felt himself laugh without really wanting to. "Pfft, how nice of you to notice - I have always been one in a million."

And then he grinned, mischievously:

"Hey, wanna hear the good part? I got some new weapon tricks - maybe you can help me test my angelic performance. But easy on the slaying sinners stuff, okay? I wouldn't even know where to begin **not** calling attention to it."

* * *

Matching the spider's grin, the Radio Demon was eager to take him up on his offer.

"Fine - but you'll meet me at **my** place -"

And then he felt his eyes widen, as realisation suddenly struck. "- which you **now know the location of, because you** **_flew_ ** **out of the window there**! You haven't **told** anyone about it, _**have** you!?"_

He would ... have to worry about finding a new place. _Eventually_. When they didn't have schemes to plot and souls to reap.

* * *

Angel pouted. "You offend me! My lips are sealed."

And then he felt like messing with the deer in a playful tone: "It's our dirty little secret. When are you free, smiles~~?"

Like they were going to watch a movie and have dinner instead of ... whatever it is they were going to do.

It couldn't hurt, right? He just needed time to figure out how to purify someone. Without completely fucking it up and leaving evidence.

* * *

He had just stood up when Angel started up his flirtations again. He froze midway through adjusting his jacket, wondering if he'd dropped _**too** _many friendly signals. He couldn't deny that he _had_... but he wanted to start small. Smaller, even. _**Maybe**_ if he flirted back ... He lowered what he hoped was a confident smirk, down at the still-seated spider ...

"It'll be **dirty** , alright. In fact, I'd bring a change of clothes, **if I were you -"**

 _ **Nope**_. He immediately looked away and walked towards the door, brandishing his microphone in an unnecessary twirl _just_ to keep his hands busy. **What was he _thinking -_**

"MEET ME IN 2 DAYS, HA!!"

And figuring Angel should know what time by now, he slammed the door as he let his deer's instincts take him away, sprinting him down the halls. _They were going to be having a third date_ ...

* * *

Angel was a bit surprised Alastor had responded at all. And it was nice - before, he'd only ever gotten the sense that he made Alastor pull away from him in negative reactions.

 **'Maybe this is what I need.'** And it would be enough that way - it had to be.

* * *

* * *

(Bonus scene)

THUNK.

"..."

THUNK.

"... ngnnnnhhhHHH ..."

THUNK.

"WHAT could possesss ANYONE to be up at thiss ... Alissstor? Is that -"

THUNK.

**"AAAAHHH.** MY SHIP. WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU BONE-HEADED IMBECILE -"

THUNK.

"I **DEMAND** THAT YOU CEASSSE AT ONCE. HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH!? EGGBOIS, why aren't you ssstopp - **AHHHHHHHH MY MINIONSSS!!!"**

"Sorry boss - we really -"

"And whhyyYYYYY ARE YOU IN HERE AND SHARING MY BED!? YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN OUTSIDE WITH THE OTHERS. DEFENDING MY VESSSSELL!!!"

THUNK.

**"STOP IT, YOU BEAST!!!"**

"But boss, the others sent us back up here to keep you safe! From the Radio -"

"YESSS! I KNOW WHO HE ISSS. I ASSSURE YOU I AM PERFFFFECTLY FFFFINE RIGHT WHERE I AM! THE INFIRMARY IS OFF LIMITS TO THE LIKES OF -"

THUNK.

**"AAAAALISSSSTOOOOOR!!!"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS ELECTION IS GOING TO BE THE END OF ME. blame the delayed posting on that, i've just been fucking _drained_ , i can't WAIT to get rid of the fucking cheeto. PS: THANK YOU GEORGIAAAAA
> 
> 2\. you can thank Nekokolove for this chapter title, lol. aside from the obvious line, [it's the song of the same name](https://youtu.be/gPDcwjJ8pLg)
> 
> -ornithia


	10. Of devils and moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  _TW: MORE GORE_   
>  **
> 
> Things get messy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Valentino, "Hooters" (OC)  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust

Two days later, Angel Dust paid his visit to Alastor at the radio station. And he did bring spare clothes, for if things got messy. One never knew with the deer - plus, he was afraid of the chance he might become a bit feral ...

' **Better not think about it** '. There were also four holy maces peeking out of his backpack, along with his classic set of not-so holy weapon:

_' **Selling them on the blackmarket sounds like too much effort**... **Even if I could use the money - no. There's no way I'm gonna set foot in there, anyway. Stupid sense of guilt** ...'_

"Hello ~~" Knocking gently on the window, he hovered in place by beating his wings quickly. "I'm here and I brought party favors!"

* * *

Alerted, Alastor dashed toward the interruption, to welcome his visitor. "Yes, yes, come in - we have _much_ to accomplish today! Let me introduce you to everyone -"

Once Angel stepped inside, he was led on a miniature tour. Which consisted of a sinner tied up in a chair, another one strung up to what looked like ... was that an **_actual_** medieval rack standing in the corner of the room? There was a third sinner whose arms ( _and_ tail) had been crushed through a wheel. And then there was the _fourth_ sinner who, well ...

"Oh, don't mind that one - **he's** just **_resting_**. I was trying to get him to do a _tarantella!_ **"**

The demon's state seemed to support this claim - he was completely out of breath, wheezing and slouched over a table. His ankles, too, had been been rendered useless from exertion - and were now shattered, to boot. All four victims sported sharp coils of concertina wire, meticulously and tightly bound about their flat-crocodilian snouts. The overlord approached the unfortunate creature in the chair, and gave its cheek an affectionate **smack**! with the back of his hand. He then chuckled in good humour:

"Why didn't **_anyone_** of you tell me trafficking bodies could be so much fun!"

The light sounds of music playing afforded the entire macabre scene an added air of whimsy; their festivities were off to a _fantastic_ start.

* * *

Angel cautiously observed, trying to get a feel for how much energy these poor bastards could have between them.

"Nice, Alastor. But I have to warn you, I'm gonna need to burn off all that energy as soon as we are done. I can cope with it better now, but it's gonna be like fire ants crawling all over me. And that is putting it nicely." he said. Everything seemed just fine, for now. But he didn't want to hurt Alastor, even if he knew that beating him completely was very improbable.

* * *

Alastor moved on to spool reels of magnetic tape onto a mounted deck while Angel talked. "Of course! Whatever you need here, I'll do my best to provide it - after all, we can be quite the accommodating bunch ... _**don't you** **ag͢͏re̵͡e̸̴**?̷"͘͜_

Shooting a look towards the sinner on the rack, he teleported over to him in the next moment. The reptile cried a muffled sound that was _supposed_ to be a scream as an eclectic range of crackling, popping sounds were derived from his understated discomfort. The deer paid no mind, however, simply turning cranks at random up to the next increasingly taut setting -

"By the way, I hope _you_ don't mind - but I felt it might be too much, **too** soon for another live broadcast! My audience thrives off the _anticipation_ , you see, and - ah, there!" ****

 _ **They were all set now**! _"- so I thought to myself, why not try a recorded session the next time around? While It may not _quite_ deliver on the thrill of a live studio broadcast, it _would_ be something new. An _experiment_ , so to speak~"

Whether it be his medium, this damned holy business ... or whatever this 'thing' he had going on with Angel currently was. There were quite a number of things to reflect on -

"Now - where were we? Oh, _yes!_ \- you do your thing over there, with the one on the rack And I'll be trying a new format over here, in the meantime. Now then! -"

He cleared his throat: "'Do you ever grow **tired** of alligators showing up unannounced on your front porch? Well, what if told you could render tough hides into a rather _juicy **filet-mignon**!'_"

The chair demon was sent for a spin as Alastor appeared at his side again. "'Why don't I guide you through the butchering process - and we'll start with _you,_ **mon gros cochon** -!"

Materialising a knife within his grasp, the Radio Demon pressed its blade up against his 'volunteer'. _Scales_ flew ...

* * *

The first gator Angel 'played' with met his second and agonizing death at being cut open with a holy knife.

"Yanno ... lots of Americans find entrails a bit icky. But they are a delight cooked in a pan with some wine. In some places they even make really nice barbecue with them!"

An enormous gash on his stomach partly exhibited his guts so that they peeked out, and grew more and more each time he struggled. Until this became too slow for the spider, and he sliced the veins behind the thick, leathery neck.

* * *

The Radio Demon crowed enthusiastically as he carved. "Yes! That's the spirit! And you'll just _have_ to share that recipe with me!"

\--

By the end of it, there stood several neat stacks of meat cuts - completely edible, if otherwise questionable in quality. There was also the floor, which now sported an unusual sheen and texture from the resulting carnage, a mix of offal, bone, and keratin shrapnel. The cannibal delighted in this, pacing back and forth across the layers to sample its sounds for future use. He beamed at Angel.

"Darling, do you mind doing that thing again? Where you transform your weapon into a more **useful** shape and causes them to 'sing' in a slightly different pitch? Oh - but only once you're done doing whatever it is you've got going on there! I want to **see** where you're going with it!"

* * *

Angel was currently trying to recover one of his maces from the second sinner he had slayed. It was buried too deeply and too far inside of the demon's body that it had gotten a bit stuck. Now his breaths came rapidly, though he was trying to relax them as much as he could.

**'Deep breaths, count slowly ...'**

He would have never considered himself a huge sadist before. Even when he'd found amusement in turf wars, or in simply messing with everyone's heads. But now there was adrenaline and the metallic smell of blood getting to his head ...

"You need me … to cut? Stab? Smash?" he said, with a sly grin. "Or maybe a bit of everything?"

He couldn't help licking the corner of his mouth, where blood had splattered across it a bit. His mace glowed brightly in his grasp, and it became smaller, shrinking down until it was the shape and size of a glove. A _vampire_ gauntlet. With metallic fingers that were as sharp as knives and sprinkled with spikes all around. Enough to shred, whether by punch or a gentle caress - he hadn't spent an entire afternoon surfing the Hellnet looking for weapons and torture devices _just_ to come up empty-handed.

**‘Oh, you will see when I'm there. This is gonna be good.’**

* * *

"My - aren't _**you**_ a sight for sore eyes ..."

In an instant, Alastor felt his throat go dry. And he stared as he stepped back to allow Angel access to their remaining guest, his gaze tracing the spider in all of his detail - **_something_** had changed, something new and **different** in Angel and it made him _exciting_ to behold. And it wasn't the same confidence the former drag show porn-star usually touted, even in his most mundane of tasks. **_This_** was a particular strain ... and it was _palpable_ , to say the very least. Swallowing, the deer would have felt himself drool the _**rest**_ of it, if his face hadn't already been painted wet with red by his previous victim.

"... what will you **do** to him?"

Radio-dial eyes twitched with fascination as divine proximity instilled sadomasochistic terror into the weight of his old sins, and stirred metaphorical life back into his figurative belly.

* * *

"Hum, not sure ..." He bent over to grab the crocodile's long snout with his deadly gauntlet, squeezing it hard. "You know I'm no expert ... this is your thing. So -" he asked, looking the crocodile in the eyes and then slowly stepping onto one of his broken limbs. "- care to assist me if I get lost?"

He applied more pressure with his feet. "I would say you already started with the ankles, so now there's the calves, knees ... We can even jump over onto every finger of his hands, too."

This wasn't so different from a business interrogation, except this poor guy didn't have anything valuable on him. "And then you can have him back, again."

* * *

The deer listened to the spider's agonising take on torture. It was far more precise than Alastor's brand of theatrical gore, even as he crushed bones beneath his feet. Clinical, efficient, _delicate_ -

He snapped out of his reviere, when the spider addressed him. "... does the mafia require **all** of its members to learn fancy footwork like that?"

* * *

Angel shrugged, with a grin. "A bit of ' **persuasion** ' is a must for the business, the same as being able to put a bullet between someone’s eyes at 15 if you haven't done so by then - like a coming of age ritual. But I can also pull some tricks on the dance floor."

* * *

Bending down in front of Angel, Alastor picked up their scaly "friend" by the arms as the spider stepped off. Then he walked the poor soul over to the "prep" table in a mock-tango, the broken ankles dragging along the entire way.

"... or maybe you were simply taking a _**jab**_ at me. For that time I let a meal grow cold mid-broadcast? How you would have 'curb-stomped' him in my place, _**was that it**?"_

The Radio Demon turned to flash a teasing, bloodied grin over his shoulder at his co-conspirator.

* * *

"Oh, that? I only told you 'cause at least he would not have bitten off his tongue and drowned on it. And it would have hurt like a bitch to knock his teeth out against the pavement."

Suddenly, he was feeling not-so in control. The thrill of torture that he could only describe as **a really wild hunger** in his stomach was making him nervous ... But so long as he didn't have to escape to hide a raging boner, or have to accidentally bite Alastor's throat off in the process, it should be fine.

"If you are going to snack on him, go ahead. I can finish the job, but I don't think I can take more than that without losing it. At least for today." 

* * *

**"HA**! Didn't think you were so eager to get to the climax -"

The deer took his place before the broken man. Any second now, and it would all be over. But first ... he _**had** _to ask: 

"You won't **leave** again, will you?"

Red, claw-tipped gloves ran down a jagged set of dorsal scales, marveling at their durable strength and thickness.

* * *

Angel walked around and stretched out his third pair of arms, then let his wings out to do the same. ' **It feels like they want to move really bad.'**

"No, I will be fine. But it’ll be like containing a steam vessel; very uncomfortable." He grabbed one of his extra maces, waiting for Alastor to give him the OK to finish what they'd had started.

* * *

It was _enough_ of an answer, he supposed.

"Hmmm... alright then!"

Within seconds, a long cervine skull found itself gorging upon fresh innards; Alastor could feel the sustenance seeping deep into him, nourishing his very bones and topping him off for tonight's feeding.

But it almost felt odd, simply having Angel stand there ... Still wearing his monstrous features, the deer looked over towards him, his glowing red eyes glinting through a dark branching mass of antlers.

"::͠. ͜y̧ou͜ ̶w̨o͟ul͠dn't care to ̛s̸h͜are, **_w̨oưld̡_ ͟yo͡u**?::"

* * *

Angel froze for a second; _would_ he ..? He was the only person to have actually seen the radio demon's domain and live afterward, so it felt oddly intimate … He felt like an important guest now. _And even more like a guest in front of a meal, at risk of becoming a meal, himself. Or possibly even the other way around._

His wings stirred a bit, and he walked towards the eviscerated demon. Tearing a cut with his gauntlet's sharp fingers, he carefully put it into his mouth.

 **Salty. Metallic. Sticky.** It covered his tongue and filled his throat in a way that he tried to avoid feeling most of the time. But then the buried memories of sexual encounters and 'accidents' hit him like a slap to the face -

Adjusting to the mental trip, he sighed in forced relief. "That ... that was intense."

He could feel his face flushing behind his fur. Unsure if looking at Alastor’s demonic eyes was a good idea, he hoped the deer would take the hint that he was done. "Uh, thank you."

* * *

**W͏h͠a͜t͡.**

The music came to a halt, and the radio demon found himself unable to look away, stunned by Angel's gesture. It spoke **_volumes_** to him, amidst the soft whirr of spools turning that was the only indicator time had _not_ stopped then and there.

* * *

"Al? Uh ... you fine?"

Had he done something wrong? Whatever it was, Angel needed to move himself **now** , before he really lost it -

"Fuck, I feel like I'm going to explode! Hahaha!" He laughed nervously, patting his bloody jacket. "I need to take this off! Can … can we go to an open place? Outside?"

' **This was going from funny to uncomfortable really fast!!'** "You told me you would help me with that!" 

* * *

Several implications were starting to dawn on him - why was it **_this_** that suddenly gave the spider **'that'** sort of appeal? Because it couldn't be _just_ Angel - the spider had propositioned him more times than he could count, to _no_ avail! And it _certainly_ wasn't the cannibalism - Alastor **had** mingled with plenty of others sharing his preference without this sort of ... _response_ -

In panicked realisation, the deer fumbled with his magic, until it finally plucked them from the station and deposited them som _ewhere_ outside. Though he didn't recognise **_where_** exactly - some sort of alley, perhaps? Did it _matter?_

 ** _S_** _ **ome**_ of Alastor's features returned to him - his stature, his face, his hands, his complexion. But his antlers continued to maintain an additional number of points. His eyes, too, continued to shine -

" **Wh͟at is͠ it͜, what d̨o ͜you͜ need**?͝" he pressed, despite his riled state.

* * *

Angel couldn't afford to lose time explanining and embarrassing himself. He simply materialized a new weapon, a lance without any sharp points so as to not injure anyone permanently. 

"Attack me! With your shadows, your tentacle friends, anything! Until I can't stand on my feet or fly." he demanded, assuming a defensive stance. "I _need_ this." 

* * *

_"_ **_WHA͜T!?_ ** _"̛_

He didn't know whether he should laugh or yell. But Angel knew more than Alastor did about this part of the process - had been instructed by Lucifer _himself_ , no less.

"... just so you know, I'm not taking **ANY** responsibility for whatever happens!"

With his warning, he pulled up one of his sleeves to reveal skin. Using the tip of his clawed gloves, he scored a long thin gash down the ulnar ridge of his arm. In response, the shadows stirred, and they began to warp around them, encasing their reality like a dense and heavy fog.

**"::I͝'̶d ͡ _run_ i͢f͞ I͢ w̷e̶re yo͢u̵.::"**

Tendrils shot out in an instant, aiming to snare Angel Dust from above and below, front, sides and behind.

* * *

Angel made the lance spin with his primary hands. He hit the black tendrils as fast as he could, even managing to impale some.

And he wasn't sure how fast he had become after absorbing the sins from the crocodile demons, but he felt like he could dance through the air without the use of his wings. He also felt the sensation as every hair on his body raised itself, standing on alert. Using his legs to jump and kick, he used his spare arms to protect his sides. Even his wings, delicate as they seemed, were used to shield him in the moment.

* * *

One shadow receded, another took its place. Alastor thought about how Angel had called him a maestro, just a few days ago -because he certainly felt like one, in the moment. Waving his arms about in grand gestures as he spun the shadows to his every whim.

Every now and again he caught the spider - a tendril would manage to seize around an ankle or one of his many wrists. But those moments were few and far and **agonisingly** brief and in between. Like an eel in a stream, the spider would slip away, evading his clutches ... It stoked a certain drive in Alastor, a consuming _need_ to pursue and to catch. To **feel** , to -!

Some of the shadows began to take on Alastor's image, resembling his likeness if it were completely draped in black. And these doppelgangers had a near-perfect intimation of his demeanor as they stepped freely from their walls. Only their jagged smiles and leering eyes differentiated them from the original, who gave his position away in the darkness with a snap of his fingers and a merry laugh.

**"̡Take him͞ ̷awa̷y, boys!̛"**

* * *

‘ **Oh oh, I will need more than this!’**

Angel exchanged his defensive lance for a spear with a sharper blade, with his second and third pairs of hands obtaining a blade each, too. Then he let the shadows come to him, before hitting and slicing at them like an out-of-control top. He thought all the jumping and spinning would make him dizzy, but he barely minded in his adrenaline-fueled trance.

* * *

Upon gaining individual forms, the shadows tended to be less powerful, less lethal. But what was lost in brute force, they made up for in their speed and agility.

Even so, it _still_ took a few tries to get close to Angel - Alastor felt the phantom pricks from an unfortunate number of 'clones' as they met their demise at the spider's dervish. But no defense was _ever_ perfect. Even a man with 6 arms was no match for the _**infinite**_ swarm of the void ...

_**"::-g͜ot you!::͠"** _

All it took was a split second of distraction for the spider to let his guard down. Sufficient time for a single tendril to manage and slip up and around his leg, breaking his momentum. And it was followed by another, and another - thick vines with enough force to knock away his spear and wrench the blades from grip. The demonic shadow-hoard descended upon him -

" **Mu͡sic**!"

 _An '_ Alastor' slipped its arm around Angel's waist - pulled him in, grabbed him by the hand. It threw him for spin, before passing him off to its brethren -

* * *

' **Wait WHAT?!’** For a second, Angel feared Alastor was going to crush him with his power. But instead he had his fucking shadows dancing with him like it was an improvised party!

* * *

One by one, the herd of radio demons took their turn with the spider, delighting in taking his many hands and leading him through a series of dances; a waltz, that turned into a polka. A foxtrot that veered into a Charleston - that thereafter tossed him off into a ballroom swing, for good measure. The various styles of music congregated, dissonant and loud and **discordant -**

**"::Careful now, 'angel'! I wouldn't want you _falling_ over on me -::"**

And then Alastor startled himself. Or rather, his shadows did, when they tossed Angel _at_ him. He'd only half-expected them to deem it _**his**_ turn to take over and lead the spider around, but _still_ ...

"... you know - I've never danced with a **_taller_** man. Before."

Arms still spread from his spontaneous catch, Alastor adjusted his grip, to make it less awkward between them. It was difficult, considering he had to hold his vertically-endowed partner close no matter _what_ , just to keep him from toppling over in his daze ...

* * *

Playing, and changing the music several times. And Alastor was holding him like they were dance partners ...

Angel laughed, relieved from his total confusion. "Haha! You really got me for a second!" He even rested his several hands lightly over Alastors frame. Too bad his eyes felt so heavy - he followed Alastor's steps as much as he could, but he was falling prey to his tired state. Even his wings hid themselves away, preparing for rest.

"I'm sorry ... Inside there ... I made you upset."

* * *

It was a _lazy_ dance ... there was no need for any of the dips or sashaying stunts his copies had pulled. They were gone now, and the music had settled for the slow sounds of the bayou.

Feeling lighter now that his magic had dissipated and his antlers had returned to normal, the deer laughed.

"You _**didn't**._"

He tried steer them away from the topic - Angel had _felt_ it. And Alastor knew it. But they were both tired now, so why concern themselves with it? Covered in blood and gore and sweat, the radio demon led them to the very end of the alley to collapse on top of garbage. It made no difference, really.

"You left your change of clothes back at my station," he reminded, now that they were laying side by side in the trash heap. But they were still holding hands ... This realisation brought a certain stubborn harlequin rabbit to the forefront of Alastor's thoughts, that he couldn't help considering, for a moment ...

"... I'll need a minute to take us back."

* * *

"Oh, good." Angel was still very conscious of their state, and knew he couldn't go back home looking like a total bloody mess. 

And it was weird to feel Alastor holding his hand, still. But it was _Alastor_ , who touched people all the time with zero sense of personal space ... **e** **xcept for _him_.** Angel felt the sudden need to pull away in embarrassment, but found that he was a bit frozen.

"Hey Al ... uhhh ... You know the story of the nephilim? It’s curious, haha!" His brain struggled to wander _anywhere_ but Alastor's warm hand.

* * *

"Hmm? ..."

Alastor turned tired, half-lidded eyes to focus on Angel. "... how so?"

* * *

Angel continued: "They said that when angels bred with humans, their spawn was human-like but fierce and mischievous. Warriors and cannibals. They said some survived after the big flood and ... maybe their descendants are still around." Gradually, his voice lowered, until he found himself stuck in a spot.

_**‘Like you.’** _

* * *

The deer only vaguely recalled the story the spider referenced - he knew that at some point in his youth he'd attended a southern Baptist church. But it had never been a spiritual experience for him, and he'd only put up with it as a social obligation. His mother, on the other hand -

"... I don't know if I should be flattered that you see angelic potential in me, or **insulted** that I may not be demon enough for you!"

He joked, squeezing Angel's hand and giving it a light, playful swing. But then he wondered if perhaps the spider had been counting the seconds, and he instantly let go, feeling slightly ashamed of himself for taking advantage.

"... but no. I was never an athletic specimen in life. Let **alone** a warrior - **w** **hy do you think I ended up in _radio_** _?"_

His microphone, which had been lying on the ground some distance away, still playing, switched to a laugh track. Summoning it to his hand, Alastor sighed towards the sky, before levering himself up into a sitting position.

"I suppose you want to go home now ..?"

The shadows came, leisurely pouring into the ground beneath their feet ... When the dark fog of their transport lifted, they were back in the studio, on the floor and surrounded by the debris of scales and half-corpses.

"If you exit and go right, there **should** be a washroom down the hall ..."

He would let Angel have his turn first; Alastor was already used to the rotting filth, and it did not bother him to wait a bit longer in it.

* * *

"Ah! Thanks, Al!" Angel located his forgotten bag in a corner of the room. "It would have been funny, otherwise ..." He imagined for a second having to change in the room with Alastor, who from experience _definitely_ didn't appreciate casual nudity. 

The water and his clean clothes were a huge relief. Soon he would be back home, and in a few hours he would be able to forget how eating the demon’s flesh had made him feel. But what he couldn’t avoid thinking about was how he wasn’t a demon anymore, and would probably never be one again. He had now a different weight on his shoulders, his afterlife having taken a massive and unexpected turn. 

* * *

* * *

(Bonus scene)

"Vox, _**babe**_ \- we gotta talk -"

A pause, and then Valentino was snarling. "-no, it's not about my arm, **shut - _fuck_** _!_ "

The pimp grimaced as Vox snapped a lecture at him through the phone. Then he rolled his eyes, switching over to an assuaging tone.

"- _**relaaax**_. It's not about that. **Listen** \- a little _bird_ told me -"

He glanced down at the woman sitting across his lap, a whore with very distinct owlish features. He smirked at her, and gave her beard of feathers a rewarding stroke with the side of his forefinger.

"-yeah, yeah, no, **really** _listen!_ It's about 'cha boy - well who the **fuck** else?! Jeezus ... _**anyway**._ So _birdie_ here tells me she's doing her nightly round about the corner, gettin' me my cut, when _suddenly_ she hears a funny sound. Yeah - **_funny_**. And she thinks, well, that she outta _follow_ it - well, what do you know, she _does_. And what do you think she _**sees**_ -"

The moth cackled as he went on; seeing him preoccupied, the whore took her opportunity to slide off of him, and clambered into the next seat over to wait out his conversation:

"- it's just too convenient, isn't it? Oh, _same!_ So here's what I'm thinkin' - I got ol' Angie's dirty box of secrets back at my vault. Y'know, the **_fucked_** _**up shit**_ that never sees the light of day? Yeah ... maybe you and I could - oh? Now that's plain _dirty_ , Voxxy~!"

Valentino puffed out the fur around his neck, appreciating what Vox was offering to 'contribute'. With an all-too pleased grin, he turned to his whore, blowing her a kiss.

"- you won't regret it, sugar. Two birds with one stone - no offense, _hooters_." The woman rolled her eyes, but said nothing else. She'd done her part - she wanted nothing more to do with it if she could help it. When Valentino finally hung up the phone, he pulled her close again. Much to her chagrin, he toyed with her feathers again, groping her body as he lowered his face against hers, to steal away her scent and taste. It was was about at civil as one could expect the pimp to get, and it _disgusted_ her. But eventually their little car ride ended, and soon the limo's door was opened for her. She was let out back onto the streets, with a rather generous write-off:

"Why don't you go and take it easy the rest of this week - only worry about payin' off that small **_debt_ **of yours. You don't even gotta worry about gettin' me extra tips - not unless you think you can top _**this**!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. [what's a hand-wheel?](https://www.rfcafe.com/references/radio-craft/images/unique-sound-effects-feb-1939-radio-craft-2_small.jpg)
> 
> 2\. mon gros cochon = my big/fat pig
> 
> ps: a week and a day later bc we update weekly and i had a long work week but AHHHHHHHHH WE DID IT WE DUMPED TRUMP THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO VOTED AND URGED OTHERS TO DO SO
> 
> -ornithia


	11. 🎨Dirty rice and laundry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This special edition of Kitchen Nightmares is brought to you by Hell's very own Hazbin Hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Sir Pentious, The Eggbois  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Niffty, Husk, Frankie (OC)

Against all of her self preservation instinct ... Frankie was hoping to find the deer to talk to him again. She located him in the empty corridor outside of Charlie's office.

"Hey!" she greeted, holding a book in her tiny hands, that came with a birthday card attached

* * *

Alastor turned, _also_ holding something, that was large and cradled in his arms - a package, maybe? It was oddly shaped and wrapped in several layers of brown waxed paper, held together by twine tied tight around it. And it smelled a bit _fishy_ ...

Aside from this, he appeared clean, and wearing his old suit again - he'd gotten it back from Niffty after swapping in **last** night's ruined ensemble for her to wash and mend.

"You've got **such** big ears for someone who can't hear an oncoming train, _**did you know that**?_" he commented dryly, flashing his sharp teeth dangerously in her direction.

* * *

This was obviously part of the deer's bad sense of humor.

"Uh, okay, so what's the deal now? Why did you give me this? 'Cause I'm pretty sure it's not my birthday."

* * *

He _didn't want to talk about it_.

"Consider it a reward ... for helping me help **Charlie**."

He'd helped Angel ... and in doing so, he'd indirectly helped **_Charlie_.** And that was all the rabbit was going to get out of him - he was **not** going to talk with her about last night.

* * *

_Had he sorted out the thoughts in his head a bit?_ She didn't believe Alastor had really considered her advice ... and it was obvious for now that he was not gonna open up so easily again.

"Well, good then! And I know you are gonna laugh at me, but I'm not doing this for you."

She flipped through the book's pages, trying to come with something else to give the deer a little push: "They all look so stunning on their stages ... Angel seems to miss all of the fancy dress and song, you know ..."

Turning away, Frankie disappeared around the next corner, heading to her room. "Well, it was nice not being eaten by you again. And don't forget to speak to me if you feel stuck about our little chat; I have been there, too. Bye!"

* * *

Alastor let the rabbit walk - he didn't need anything more from her at the moment. He could figure out the rest of this 'thing' at his own pace - he'd made **_progress_** last night, hadn't he? Besides, he still had to put his meat away -

"- **what** was that thing you said about 'fancy dress and song?'"

Unfortunately, he **_also_** had little to no impulse control. Materialising himself straight into the rabbit's room, he greeted her from the doorway, already waiting for her before she'd even finished letting herself inside.

* * *

"EEK! ... Ugh!'' Frankie got startled for a second, and then she sighed.

"Well, just ask anyone in the performing arts - it becomes a part of you. He really enjoys it ... Even if he can't go back on stage again, 'cause we all know who generally runs those types of joints."

* * *

_Angel wanted to perform again?_ He knew the spider was fond of drag performance after one of their last chats. But he hadn't thought that the spider missed it _that_ much.

"You do _realise_ I **am** the performing arts, yes?" So ... if he were to put himself in Angel's shoes, then ('b _oots'_ , he reminded himself) - would he be working here? Alongside Charlie, if her offer had only been on the condition that he abandon his 'broadcasts'?

 _Of **course** not! _It wasn't a difficult conclusion to reach.

* * *

"Yes, Mister Radio Demon. Then you know what I'm talking about."

* * *

"Hmmm, I'm afraid I don't!"

 _He did._ Not that he was ever going to admit it. But that meant ... Angel probably felt the same way, as a fellow performer ... and was probably **still** feeling that way, on top of everything _else_ that had been asked of him. Countless sacrifices that had served to strip him down on the path to redemption - **_oh_**. _But wait!_

"You know ... I can say with utmost certainty that there **do** exist venues which have been spared Valentino's _lewd_ influence. Venues in which **I** am considered an **_esteemed guest of honor_**."

* * *

"Well, if i was him I would appreciate being able to recreate a bit of that world again."

"Now, if you'll excuse me -" Frankie walked past him, looking into her closet for some new clothes. "- I think I will shower. If you see Angel, tell him that the snake is going to massacre the kitchen if he doesn't stop him. English scones are fine, but I will not survive anything else."

* * *

He was starting to _loath_ how useful this rabbit was proving herself to be in their interactions.

"Carry on, then -!" he dismissed himself, and headed straight to kitchen to stir up some chaos.

\--

" _Alissstor?_ How DARE you show your **faccce** here after the other night -!"

The snake hissed at the deer, who grinned back shamelessly. "Now, now! There's no need for us to _**butt heads**!_ I'm just here to set aside a little something! I promise I'll be out of your hair in juust a jiffy, leaving you free to carry on ruining **perfectly** good eggs!"

" _WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!?_ YOU BLATHERING - _ohhh?_ " Flickering out the tips of his tongue, Pentious picked up on the scent emanating from Alastor's direction. "... why does that 'smell' _**familiar**?_"

Alastor stared down at himself, confusion on his face. But then he brightened up an instant later, holding out his package in realisation. "Why, this? It's **reptile**!"

Pentious screeched. "AAAAACK! **OUT!** I DON'T NEED - how **DARE** you! I will NOT TOLERATE SUCH INSULT IN MY KITCHEN! NOW _BEGONE,_ YOU FOUL FIEND!"

"My, what a temper we've got! Say, I have _idea_ , if you're willing to **entertain it** ..."

* * *

Angel Dust woke up very late. When Lucifer passed all that information on to him, he was totally right speculating that a particular case like him would need a fuckton of control over their mental and physical capabilities just to use angelic powers. 

On his way to the kitchen to make some brunch, his stomach rumbled. He stepped inside only to find a complete mess, with Alastor and Sir Pentious in the middle of it. He raised his voice:

**"What in the nine circles are you two doing?"**

* * *

"I am **telling** you, THAT is going to -"

"Ah, if it isn't Angel! -"

"- _OVERWHELM_ ... oh, **_great_**. The striped **freak** is here! **JUST** what I need!"

Alastor, for his part, _did_ stop trying to spice up his opponent's cookery. But it wasn't because of Angel, despite his antics taking on a more performative role the the spider's presence -

" _Bacon's_ ready! Oh, but don't worry, my dear! I haven't touched that darling piggy in the slightest - in fact, I'd argue that this isn't even real **ham**!"

For some _unspecified_ reason, Pentious grew agitated. "That is NOT funny! And **KEEP IT AWAY FROM MY EGGS!"**

"Awww, but _boss_ ..."

The table was covered in a myriad of dishes; porridge and grits, eggs soft-boiled and omelette-style. Scones and beignets were paired with tea and coffee, and now there was potatoes with blood sausage and -

"May I present - my **very own** original take on my mother's old family recipe, dirty rice with steak meatballs _au poivre_ **-"**

" **Must** you!? At least **warn** me before you start with that frog jibberish!"

" _Non!_ "

The gathered eggbois went _**oooh**!_ and _**ahhh**!_ as the final item was placed on the table with the rest. "Do we get to judge now?"

They were **very** eager to taste their master's cooking. As well as curious about the interesting dishes the mean and **_very_** bad man in red had prepared.

* * *

Angels left eye twitched. Some of the items looked fine, but some of Pentious' creations looked about as appetizing as cardboard compared to Alastor's ... _whatever_ it was. It looked like a meal ticket to make a sinner sweat like in church. 

"You two ... better clean this mess up and set the table back in one piece! Alastor, whatever you did you better hope Vaggie doesn't find out or I will _never_ hear the end of it! And you -!" Angel pointed at Pentious.

"Maybe you have a habit of **reaching a place and thinking it is automatically** **yours to run** , but I'm in charge of the kitchen!"

He crossed his two pair of arms over his chest in front of him. It was like schooling overgrown kids. "You either play nice while you're in here or I will make Charlie ban you from the kitchen forever!"

.-.-.- 

Frankie was on a couch in the lobby. The yells of 'cannibal freak' weren't exactly tempting her into entering the kitchen. So instead she killed time entertaining herself doodling fantasy fashion designs in her drawing pad. Her current victim was the snake, who had caught her attention with his old-style clothing.

Angel's yelling joined in, and it made her giggle. She had to find out later if Alastor had made a move on him without revealing anything about her chat with the deer.

* * *

Of _course_ Pentious complained. "Do I **look** like a maid to you!?"

And Alastor felt similarly. Like a petulant child being told to put away his toys. "Can't it wait until **after** -" he tried to protest. **  
**

But then the serpent then reconsidered: "- although, you **do** make a valid point." _Traitor!_

" **EGGBOIS!** _**Clean**_ this mess! And it better be _spotlesss_ , or else! Maybe **_then_** can we all sit and **prove** just how _sssuperior_ my culinary skills measure up against this ... ' **cajun** ' miscreant! Isn't that right, _**Alassstor**?"_

The _**nerve** of him! _They had assigned roles at the Hotel for a _reason!_ Scoffing, the deer countered: "Please! As if your hatchery could compare to **_my_** little darling's -"

But the eggbois had already jumped to the task before Alastor could summon Niffty. Their many little hands were making quick work of the various spills and stains the food competitors had left in their wake.

Sulking, the radio demon refused to acknowledge _any_ of the minions' efforts. He turned to Angel instead, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"I wouldn't worry about Vaggie ... she only questions what's in the fridge when it's **_dark̢_** _meat_. And wouldn't you know it, _**crocodile** happens to be a very **̶li̵gh͞t** mea͜t̕_ -"

His lips curled in a feral fashion; "She'll probably think it's just chicken - I _did_ go through the trouble of **cut͢ting͟** the portions down, you know! And it helps that they're so similar in _tas͝te_ -"

* * *

"Oh, well, I -!" _' **Fuck, Al** **astor! Too soon! Nope, nope!'**_

The explicit words were a bit too much. Angel went silent - before **_that_** comment, he guessed he would have eaten it. _**You really never knew where meat comes from when you are in Hell**.._.

* * *

The eggbois finished up, leaving the kitchen spotless. Only the questionable feast remained on the table, waiting for them to indulge in its curiosities.

It was Pentious who led the endeavor, pulling the conversation back onto more _savory_ topics in the process. "Marvelous! Now, I think I'll be taking ... **this** chair. It's for my **_back_** , you know - I can't **help** it if I'm still recovering from my **'accident'** -! **"**

Alastor claimed his seat next, opposite to Sir Pentious while summoning his 'employees'.

 _:_ _:_ **_Husker, Niffty - your presence is required in the kitchen. Now_ ** _-! ::_

Both cooks then served out the respective portions of their cuisine. Sir Pentious laid out his presentation one at a time from his seat, and then had his minions place the plated results at each of the empty seats for their soon-to-be guests. Meanwhile, Alastor set his plates out empty first, and then made several trips around the table to pile them high with generous servings because he was unable to sit still. The table was soon set for double-brunch ...

"Alright, my _**minions**_ \- you may **now** partake in the judging. **Do** try to be kind to our rival, **ahAHAHAHahahHAAA**!"

* * *

"I think I will call the others, this is just too much food!"

Walking out, Angel announced the ready meal as he moved through the halls. Husk and Niffty were already on their way, and luckily Charlie and Vaggie were too busy to be eating right now. So that left Frankie to be invited next, and he did, bringing her along when he went back to the kitchen.

* * *

While they waited, Alastor returned to his chair and picked up his spoon. _He_ would start with the eggs - "I **really** don't understand why you don't just hard-boil them ..."

The snake, in the meantime, was struggling to get a piece of omelette in his mouth - his fangs kept catching between the tines of his fork. "I wouldn't expect an **uncivilised cretin** to understand -!"

He resorted to using his tongue instead, wrapping it around the flavorful piece of egg and sliding it off in that way. The eggbois watched him, _fascinated_ ... "- this is **much** too chewy! And all that onion really ruins the egg flavor - I **told** you it'd be overpowering!"

The deer scoffed, hardly thrilled with his opponent's efforts. "At least it's not egg _**soup**_ _!_ " he retaliated, glaring at his tiny spoonful of mostly liquid egg before slurping it down. It wasn't even filling!

* * *

Husk was the first to enter and immediately noticed the situation. "What are you doing?" 

He was followed by Niffty. "That's a lot of variety!" Pulling some recipe books from a shelf, he placed them down on a chair and go comfortable on top of them. She was soon joined Frankie at her side, and the two started a small chat between them while Angel at last took his seat, taking in the scene and looking about as confused as Husk.' **Why am I even surprised, really?'**

* * *

Excited ( _ **egg** cited_, amirite?) for the newcomers, the eggbois elaborated.

" **Boss** -man and the radio-demon are having a breakfast contest! And _we_ get to choose the winner -"

"It'll be **ME** , obviously!"

Maybe the porridge would be better. Alastor reasoned it couoldn't be _too_ dissimilar from his grits - to him, the dishes looked nearly identical. Except for the color and toppings -

"... it's rather _**sweet**_ , don't you think?" he noted, making a rather unenthusiastic face. Seeing this, Pentious lifted a spoonful of grits to his own mouth, to compare -

"... _pardon?_ What do you **mean** , it's 'too' sweet? It's OATS, of _**course**_ it has to be -" Now it was _his_ turn to make a face, overwhlmed by the savory taste of the deer's grits. "You _actually_ mean to tell me you think **THISSS** is any better!? Why is there **MEAT** in it!? It's **_much_** too savoury, I thought this was supposssed to be breakfast!"

"It is! And frankly, I don't see the problem -"

" **IT'S PRACTICALLY A STEW!** "

Despite the man's criticisms, Alastor was keen to notice how the snake was savoring the chunks of sausage in the dish. Or rather, what was **supposed** to have been sausage ... He _may_ have swapped ingredients when the Victorian serpent hadn't been looking ...

The eggbois caught themselves up, sampling from Pentious' leftovers and giving varying hums of approval.

* * *

It was very amusing to see them fight over food in this way. Husk limited himself to eating without making a sound - the last thing he needed was encourage those two. Angel also ate in silence, trying to avoid overthinking:

 **It was just fine when it looked like any other meal**...

Deep in his own thoughts, he barely noticed Alastor and Pentious' ongoing duel -

"Hey Angel! Frankie is making a drawing for me!" Niffty said. "She drew you, too! And even Mister Pentious!" 

Angel grew grateful for the change in subject at the table. "Oh? Really, bun? When are you gonna show me?" he asked, spotting the bag of drawing supplies at Frankie's feet.

* * *

"This ... at _leassst_ it 'smells' nice."

Pentious' tongue flicked over a warm beignet, licking up the powdered sugar as it went. In the meantime, Alastor sunk his teeth into a scone, choking on a growl.

"You criticise **my** grits for being too "heavy", and then you go and make ** _this_** _?_ HA, I don't think I can even take another bite, it's just so **dry** and **_dense_** -!"

He took a swig of tea, and made a disgusted face immediately afterward - at least it helped wash down the thick pastry.

"Is **that** better?"

"It's **worse!"**

"Hmph! **No** matter -" Staring down Alastor's "mystery meat", all of Pentious' eyes twitched. "... this is **hardly** fair, you know!"

Chuckling, Alastor merely jut his chin out, resting it in the palm of his hand as he cut up some of the blood sausage. "And here I thought your lot was rather **fond** of appropriating 'exotic cuisines'~"

"At leassst **I** keep my elbows off the table," the snake began his retort, before his attention caught on to the surrounding chatter. "- you wHaaat!?"

"Boss, **look**! The Niffty says the bunny drew a **picture** of you! And it's so **beautiful**...!" The eggbois crowded around Frankie, hoping to get a better look.

"Is that so? In that case, BRING it **here**! I want to **ssseeee**..."

* * *

Frankie giggled and let the eggs take the pad. Her drawing was mostly pencil, and Pentious' tail was only a light doodle compared to the rest of his torso. A long yellow jacket detailed in black adorned the snake demon in the rabbit's depiction, the cut of it a lot more modern and sobering than his usual. And in his hand he held a cane, which resembled two snakes twisting over each other. 

"I thought it would be fun, '' Fankie said, half in apology, half in compliment to the 'model'.

* * *

The eggbois immediately stopped rubbing their hands all over the sketch, and the one nearest to Pentious brought over the artistic rendition. Pentious snatched it out of the small pair of hands immediately, pulling it close to his eyes to inspect: "You think ... I would look **good** \- in **this**?"

While he continued to scan over all the little details, some of the eggbois sneaked around him to grab little handfuls of Alastor's dish for themselves. Their master hardly noticed, too busy preening over himself.

"You know ... I **really** don't have an eye for "modern fashion". The garish colors and cuts and all of that ... But if you **insist** that this is what is considered **"cool"** and **"hip"** for your era - then I suppose it can't be argued! I am a **dashing** fellow and the epitome of **class** , and I can _**damn well**_ pull off anything you throw at me!"

He smoothed out his long, luxurious hair in a show of confidence. For his effort, the eggbois cheered around him - some even swooned, wolf-whistling in their idolatry of him.

Alastor merely rolled his eyes, wanting to bring the spotlight back onto their little 'game': "You could have used **_fresher_** blood for this sausage - but it's not terrible."

The snake shot a glare, but was wise enough to not pay him any mind after that.

* * *

Snickering, Husk broke his silence. Seemed like Alastor's 'show' had been cancelled.

"You do have a very 'Elegant' air." Frankie offered the snake. "And the yellow jacket with the black of your scales would make you stand out in the best way!" 

Angel hummed, not even offended. The snake was an hilarious and cocky old man. He was followed by Niffty, who added: "Mine is not done, but I already look like a princess!"

Angel took a chance. "What about mine, bunny?'

"Oh, it's gonna be a cocktail dress. I even put a fur coat on it like an old style diva, I hope you don't mind!" 

"I would be offended if you hadn't, otherwise!"

* * *

At least the Radio Demon was graceful enough to finish off the rest of the blood sausage. But now that their little competition was 'over', he opted for digging into his own, far more _delicious_ cuisine in order to cleanse his palate. _**Starting**_ with the steak on dirty rice -

And he didn't notice Pentious, who was now staring at him from his chair. The cogs were turning in the Victorian's inventor's mind, piecing together a puzzle he hadn't even realised had been sitting in front of him this whole time -

"So you like **_fur_** , _do you, **spider**?"_

He passed the drawing back among his minions to admire, who immediately began to squabble over it.

* * *

Resting his hand against his cheek, Angel retorted. "Doesn't everyone?"

Frankie giggled. The poor serpent couldn't catch a break.

Giving a slow look toward his fluffier friends, Angel then grinned. "You need help with that, old man?"

* * *

_Sir_ Pentious sneered - he didn't get the joke, but he knew he was being mocked.

"In case you haven't **noticed** , I prefer **_scales_** _!_ "

He turned to Alastor next, intent on figuring him out. "And what about **you** there, radio _freak?_ "

Alastor looked up, mouth full and leering slightly. " _Hmmp?_ "

Pentious phrased it another. "I said, **what** do you prefer **wearing!?** "

Alastor's ears folded back in his confusion as he swallowed. " ** _Why_**. In any case, Niffty would know more about that than I. Why not ask her? In fact, she happens to be my **seamstress** , too!"

And Pentious **_did_** , turning his calculating gaze on the small cyclops. next "Oh, _yes_ \- **tell us,** young missy! What do you **know** about Alassstor's **_dirty laundry?_ "**

Having gorged himself enough, Alastor finally stopped eating long enough to take a good look at Pentious. And then he choked a bit, when he realised _what_ the fool was getting at. His deer instincts _screamed_ at him to **_do_** something about him!

_Why is he smirking, **what does he know?!**_

* * *

Husk _also_ choked a bit, in the middle of a bite.

Looking towards Frankie's drawing pad, Niffty distractedly said: "Oh? Mister Alastor always makes such a mess in his spare time, but it's okay. I know lots of tricks that wash out the dry blood and bile like that ... "

Angel blinked several times, and then laughed. **'This is priceless!'**

* * *

Pentious' tongue flicked out sarcastically. " **Really???** I hadn't **_noticed_.**"

Defeated for now, he turned his attention to Frankie. " **You** there - _**artist**_. I notice you **failed** to include the _'deer'_ in your sketches. Is that because you see no hope for that _**desiccated**_ corpse he calls a figure? Because it's rather true! But perhaps I can provide a few ... _suggestions_. From one creative to another."

He turned to lock his serpentine eyes on Alastor's own unblinking gaze. _Oh, he'd make the Radio Demon **squirm** , alright!_

* * *

Frankie looked at Alastor, who was obviously struggling a bit - ' **Oh no you don't! I almost get eaten whole just to make him open up a bit more for this!'  
**

"Oh my Satan! You ARE a creative? " Frankie stepped up and faced Sir Pentious, grabbing him by his shirt and practically pressing her nose up against his face.

* * *

"Well of course I am! You **see** -HEY!?"

 **WHAT**. No! _This wasn't_ -

* * *

She sweetened her voice, and fluttered her eyelashes at him. "'Cause I loooove a creative man ~~ can you show me your creations? Hummm?"

Angel wasn't sure what Frankie was doing, but he gladly took the dishes away. With Niffty's help, they quickly cleared the table. At least Pentious seemed distracted enough to leave Alastor in peace, and would not end up a stain on the floor.

* * *

"... you. **Actually** want to see my creations?"

He stared at her, incredulously. Then looked back toward Alastor, expecting him to be the mastermind behind this sudden turn in events. Except the buck seemed just as confused as he himself felt - **w** **hat the hell**.

"... we'll need a LOT more paper than this. Oh, **eggbois**!!!"

He pushed Frankie away, to make room for his chair as he pushed himself away from the table. " **Escort** us! And _Al **ass** stor_ -?"

Several dozen eggbois eagerly crawled under his massive multi-eyed length of a body, as the pupils all rolled in their sockets to pin their combined and determined gaze in the deer's direction.

"You haven't seen the last of the _Great Sir_ **PENTIOUSSS!** _Now_ , my minions - take us back to the infirmary, **MWUAHAHAHAHAHAA!** "

The snake rode away on a wave of eggs. _One_ eggboi lagged behind the others, in order to lead Frankie along by the hand.

"... that is the **last** time I cook with a _European_."

Feeling like he'd just dodged a bullet, Alastor got up to leave. But not before he gave Niffty a rewarding pat on the head.

" ** _That's_** my girl~"

[Art by Nekokolove! ](https://twitter.com/AwkwardCatArt)


	12. Scent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 말을하려 했지만 떼어지지 않던 입술을  
> 안아보려 했지만 내밀수가 없던 두 손을  
> 알아주길 지독히도 어리석은 나였음을  
> 하지만 옷자락에 스쳐간 지워지지 않은 향기에
> 
> I wanted to say it, but my lips just didn’t part  
> I wanted to hold you, but my arms just couldn’t reach out  
> I wish you could know, I was such a fool  
> But the haunting scent that lingers on the hem of your clothes ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Sir Pentious  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Frankie (OC)

Frankie didn't mind talking about creative things with others, but she knew close to nothing about machines. So she mostly tried to keep to practical questions as she listened to Pentious. Like his blueprints - did he have to plan every single detail? Or he could build it all from memory? They were geometrical and complex and indeed so pretty!

But then she stopped their chat. "Hey, can I ask you what you were fighting about with the Radio Demon?" she said, lowering a blueprint to her side. "... He looked like was gonna run away. And he is not the type to do that."

* * *

Pentious paused as his lecture was interrupted, looking back and down at the rabbit.

"Oh, **that?** " He folded his hands innocently on top of his coiling lap, almost thoughtful.

"Do you consider yourself a **romantic** , Frankie?"

* * *

"Me? Oh, I guess so. I think I only really fell in love only once. It's not something I take lightly." 

But why that? What did he see in Alastor?

* * *

"Oh, **good!** Then we share something in common!"

Flicking his tongue out, he continued. "As I'm sure you're already aware, our dear _Alissstor_ is something of an outlier in that regard. That **_boy_** is devoid of romantic gestures _and_ sentiment, that I never once **_thought_** to question what was seemingly a given for his kind! **However** -!"

Pentious gestured with his hand, and one of his eggbois immediately fetched a large leather-bound tome. It looked almost new, and was mostly empty as the serpent opened it up to a blank page. He began drawing furiously.

"- it has **recently** come to my attention that perhaps, we were ALL too **_haaasssty_** to dismiss this 'matter' of the Radio Demon without further inquiry - why, we didn't even bother with a proper scientific method! **B** **ehold!"**

Presenting a sketch, it was the quick but fairly accurate depiction of the infamous deer. That was perhaps a little **_too_** accurate, outlining several vague details that most others would _not_ see without his unique set of serpentine senses. And then he drew a second 'Alastor', slightly more detailed and next to the first.

" **Thiiisss** first is Alastor as he appears in the public eye. And _thiiisss_ is when he's in the hotel, with his guard let down and casual. But THIS -"

He began scratching across the page again. Yet another Alastor appeared, below the first two. And this time, the extra details were _everywhere_ on the figure. Pentious grabbed fistfuls of his long hair after he was done, nearly screeching in his excitement.

" **THIS** Alastor! Is **unmistakably** a stag in _love!_ Granted, he's still in the _**early**_ stages of his seasonal affliction -"

* * *

Frankie was definitely stunned. Not only by Pen's artistic talent.

"Yeah, I kind of knew that ... But how? How do you know that? I'm very sure he will not share that information! I'm a bit lost ..."

* * *

 **"WHAT**. HOW DID **YOU** KNOW!?"

 **NO ONE** WAS SUPPOSED TO COMPARE TO HIS GENIUS. Picking up his pen again, Pentious began adding notes beneath the drawings, to explain his 'findings'.

"And of **COURSE** he didn't share it! _**I**_ figured it out MYSELF!"

* * *

"My own personal experience, Sir Pentious!"

It was a half-lie, but she didn't want to be murdered by Alastor. "And oh, that! I know his kind when I see it! He looks like an all-mighty unreachable overlord, but he can't even say 'I love you'!"

* * *

 ** _HMPH_**. "Do you know what I _**love**_ about this wonderful body of mine?"

Several of the eggbois started to jump up and down around them, raising their small hands for permission to speak. Pentious hissed at them, stilling them into silence.

"It lets me 'see' absolutely **everything!** And I'm not just talking about these eyes - I can 'see' _heat!_ I can 'smell' _taste!_ And do you know what I 'saw' in that kitchen? **Who** I 'saw' our radio demon attempting to _impress?_ "

* * *

"That's incredible, really ... you can just see all that for real?"

Pentious knew too much, but maybe she could get him to join her side ...

"... who is the lucky one, then?"

* * *

More scribbling.

"Fortunately for that freak, not I! No - it's that _spider_ friend of yours, I believe his name is Angel? Or is that simply what he **'is'** these days? You know, you whores should **really** just pick a name and stick with it! Like the rest of us in _decent_ society -"

He cackled, throwing his head back. "- I don't believe they've **consummated** anything yet. At least - nothing **important**. But!"

His tongue flicked out again, flexing with its memory. "They've been in ' _touch'_. I could ' **smell** ' them all over each other - and it was so **strong** , too! It must have been recent ..."

He sighed, though it seemed to be from frustration rather than sympathy. " **Unfortunately** I can't get any heat signatures from the spider. Only _'taste'_. And what I 'tasted' ... was **fear** ..."

Another tongue flick.

"I don't **dare** imagine what **vile _fetish_** he must have entertained to have lured in a monster the likes of _Alastor!_ Though I **have** my suspicions ..."

The snake shuddered, unwilling to continue down that train of thought.

* * *

 **'BINGO!** ... **wait, what?'**

"Angel is afraid? But ... oh, crud!"

Had Alastor hurt him? Maybe encouraging the radio demon had been a huge mistake ...

"Angel is my friend, Sir Pentious. I don't want him to be hurt. If Alastor is 'in love', as you say ..."

She dismissed the idea of there being some 'fetish', because Angel wasn't exactly shy ... Maybe there was something wrong between them, instead?

**'I'm very sure he was afraid to hurt Angel. Still, I need to talk to him, ASAP.'**

* * *

The snake gave the rabbit a condescending look. "Have you ever heard of _'the road to Hell'_ being _'paved with good intentions'?_ "

He resumed scribbling.

"Because my guess is that the **_imbecile_** probably doesn't even realise WHAT he's doing! For all of that supposed grace and majesty, deer are BONE-HEADED creatures! All they do is _run_ away from their problems, and when that fails ... **_then_** they just run **into** them! Putting themselves and everyone **else** at risk, instead! _**This**_ one included!"

But then he paused. "Perhaps I am just being a hopeless romantic - I do **so** love a tragic epic! But I also sincerely believe that what he NEEDS is a lesson in how to _properly_ court the object of his desires. _**Whatever**_ those desires may be -"

Then he added: " _ **Not**_ that that _bastard_ knows how to ask for anything - all he ever does is _**take**!_"

* * *

Well, he was kind of right ...

"Sir Pen, please do not approach Alastor! You said it, he will run away if he is caught red-handed. There is a chance we can help him, help them both. But ... we have to work from the shadows. I will talk to Angel, since he is my friend. Then we can put our heads together."

* * *

"He's already IN the shadows! But ... I suppose that personal connection of yours **has** worked out for you so far ... I guess we can try it YOUR way. For _**now.**_ "

Tongue flick.

"... For all we know, they could be holding hands, you know!"

* * *

Frankie smiled at the demon. "Could you do that? If all goes well, you will get to see the surprise on his face when you tell him you knew all along!''

She knew tricking a deal-maker like Alastor would be hard. But it would also be satisfactory.

* * *

The cobra sighed. "FINE. But **don't think** I won't be collecting further research from my end if I can help it! If there's **anything** we _Victorians_ mastered in our time, it was how to read love in ALL its forms!"

And there were very _many_ forms of love, each with its own 'phrases' and nuances. Which of these did Alastor speak, and which ones could the spider reciprocate in? There was only one way to find out -

"... _say_. This _hotel_ has a garden, does it not?"

* * *

* * *

Later that day, Frankie paid a visit to her friend. Angel was in his room, and a bit stressed. It didn't take much to make him talk about what had happened. And she was happy to hear to Angel felt just fine around Alastor, even when he was obviously struggling with his attraction to him. Even if the thought of eating demon meat caused her to shudder.

She simply allowed him to talk, until it soon became more about Angel's memories than the deer. Of his first days in Hell, too filled with rage and hunger to remember who he had slept with and whose throats he'd bitten off. And he'd be on his way home to shower, in a state similar to consciousness when he would fully realise what he'd done. And that he was covered in blood and guts -

Alone, with a foggy recollection that was scary even for an ex-mobster. Drugs sometimes helped suppress it, but then he couldn't predict when it would happen **again,** out of nowhere.

"Why did you eat it, then?"

"I'm not sure! It was so hypnotic. It's a spider thing, I can’t control it ... And while my new powers helped, they also made it worse in some sense. I guess I heard what I wanted to ..." He was never sure if he should try and do something, or just wait for the deer. Maybe he was just imagining things?

‘ **No Angel, you are not**...’

Frankie understood. And she rested against him until there were no more words. The silence that followed wasn't uncomfortable: Angel simply let his head blank out peacefully.

"... Is it true, then? That you can send souls to earth again? Like some kind of reincarnation thing?"

"It's not that easy to achieve, but yeah ..."

"Could you consider doing it for me?" 

"Frankie ..."

"I would love to, really! Please, I would give you all my tank tops! And that one handbag you love!" 

"Pffft, I know you won't give up that bag!"

"I had to try! "

* * *

* * *

Usually, Alastor waited for Angel to find him first - they'd have a talk, the deer would embarrass himself, and then he'd hastily excuse himself. Through some miracle, this had successfully allowed him to meet with the spider on 3 different occasions.

But Angel had not come back to him since. Alastor tried hard not to dwell on it - they'd killed, they'd _feasted_. Each time Alastor recalled the latter in detail, he felt his face flush, s _till_ ... And then they'd danced themselves into mutual exhaustion, holding hands as they went -

 _What had gone wrong?_ And what had the serpent been playing at, back in the kitchen?

Standing outside the hotel room of the one and only Angel Dust, the Radio Demon held a wrapped package in his hands.

* * *

Angel tried to avoid Alastor for a few days. Not because he didn't want to talk to him, but because his presence reminded him of the past he could not handle. That Al probably didn't even realize what he'd woken in the spider ...

Not to mention the strong and intimate feelings he realised he'd tried to share while at the radio station. Too much to handle for someone who didn't do relationships or dates ... ever. And exceptionally harder to accept when he wasn't used to being liked for something other than sex, with the honorable exception of some friendships.

He was just considering saying ‘hi’ when he opened the door to go out. Only to find **_him_** standing there.

"Oh, Al! ... hi! How are you?"

' **Very smooth, Angel ...'**

* * *

Alastor had been waiting, trying to decide on how to best greet Angel when the door opened. The deer froze up, wide eyes leering slightly as his smile grew nervously.

"I'm ... **perfectly** alright! And you!?"

**'Very smooth, Alastor.'**

Looking down at his feet as he tried to think of how to keep the interaction going, he remembered the item he held.

"Oh ... I brought a gift! And ... I wanted to talk?"

He looked almost sincere ... and just the slightest touch terrified.

* * *

He smiled a bit at him. "You did? Thank you ... It's a bit unexpected. But sure, we can talk."

Looking at his gift, he asked. "You want to go somewhere?"

* * *

"Oh, **good**! I ..."

Angel wanted to go somewhere? Alastor hadn't really thought about where he would like to go this time ... _he_ had simply wanted to come here, just a means of stopping by ...

"... I would like to go inside, if you don't mind? Just for a moment - I promise I won't be long."

* * *

Inside his room? Well, duh! They were here already, there was no use in walking more.

He moved aside, to let him enter. "Ha! No worries, smiles! I have time to spare."

Nuggets was awake, and drinking water from his bowl. At the sight of a visitor, the pig raised his head.

* * *

With a slight bow of his head, Alastor walked past Angel, and into the spider's, well ... **_'sanctuary'_** , he supposed. Looking around, he noticed Angel's pet pig staring. Figuring he might as well get this over with, he took a seat at the very edge of the bed, balancing the package on top of his knees.

"It's ... shampoo, in case you're wondering. Niffty's special blend, actually! I realised ... I'd been rather **_rude_** , lately. Showering you in gore and who knows what else! And while I've been taking the brunt of it, I realise now that it's probably been **much** harder for you to, _well_ ..."

He tried not to think about how the spider looked, soaked _red_. And if his follicles still harbored traces of their last encounter, particle souvenirs ...

 ** _Stop it_**.

"... I'm trying to be considerate. Because you've been **patient** with me."

* * *

That was ... different.

"Aw, Al! It's fine!" Angel sat as well, keeping a bit of distance. Nuggets walked up to him, staying at his feet and huffing with happiness when one of many hands came down to pet him. "I knew what could happen ... well, _you_ know what i mean. But I do accept the gift."

It was ... almost sweet. He felt his humor grow a bit lighter. "And I bet it smells really good!"

Even so, Angel felt a small sting inside him. He had changed the way he acted around Alastor - a lot. It was even a bit scary ... It just showed how much he had started to care about what the overlord thought of him.

* * *

 _ **Good.** _Now came the hard part. At least they were already sitting ...

" **Angel** ... do you remember that 'talk' we had? In -"

 ** _The honeymoon suite_**. Where he'd tried to flirt back, only to run away because it had backfired and _ruined_ his composure -

"... **where** we talked about your career in drag and the _theatre_. I mention it, because lately I've been speaking with _Rosie_ again - _you_ remember her! You know, you **really** left an impression last time! In fact ..!"

It was **too** obvious where he was going with this. It made him feel silly and strange and _dizzy_ ... that if he could laugh at himself, he would ... And he **sh** **ould** , actually. He strongly considered it as he hesitated, searching for his next set of words to come to him.

* * *

"Yes, I do. What happened with her? She need a 'mannequin'? 'Cause I remember you saying it was dangerous. I also checked and saw she did some dresses for a play I once saw. Really amazing."

* * *

Alastor laughed, nervously.

"Oh, yes! It's **definitely** dangerous! And that's why I asked that she _deliver_ it, instead."

He clarified: "You, _Angel Dust_ \- will be receiving a parcel sometime tomorrow. I just wanted you to know ... Because you **know** how tricky the mail here gets, with all the smuggling and theft, and contraband and _what-have-you_ that goes on, **_ha-ha_** _!_ "

And. " ** _And_** ... I know of a place where you might like to show ' **it** ' off. On a stage. Inside of a **proper** establishment. If you'd _like_ , that is ..."

One of his ears twitched. _There, he'd **said** it - that was enough, **right?**_

* * *

"Wait, for real?! You would do that for me? Why? You don't ..."

Okay, he could actually cry a bit. Alastor was just offering him something ... That made him feel so _him_. The bit of him that he enjoyed that made him feel like things were **just fine**. It was overwhelming, that he couldn't really say anything smart in that moment.

* * *

"Well, not **me** , personally! You can thank **Rosie** , I-I ... I suppose I'm just your free **_ticket_** , in all of this -!"

Angel wasn't saying anything ... he was blustering, and _**Angel wasn't saying** **anything**_. Was it _too_ much? Maybe he'd miscalculated ... he should leave. Go. **Now**. Placing the package on the bed, he took a deep breath and stood, looking anywhere _but_ at the spider.

"Let me know if it needs any adjustments - I can send Niffty! Or send it back. Or ..."

**_He was gone._ **

* * *

Angel couldn't react before Alastor was gone.

**‘Fuck! I just wanted to say thank you ...’**

The corners of his eyes were moist now, and he needed some time to calm down. _Then_ he could chase after Alastor - why was it that the both of them always seemed to run away from each other when things got awkward?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. title and summary comes from [Casker - Scent](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT8qlXd9wxI) 🎵 [translations [here](https://princessoftea.wordpress.com/2010/12/20/casker-%ED%96%A5-scent-lyrics-hangeul-romanization-translation/#comments-toggle) and [here](https://kpop9977.com/2019/04/20/zitten-scent-%ED%96%A5-original-song-casker-lyrics-english-translation/)]  
> 2\. FIRST TIME IN 2 WEEKS THIS WAS READY ON FRIDAY. thanks to thanksgiving, lol 🦃  
> 3\. and next chapter ... there will be another rating change. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
> 
> \- ornithia


	13. Dank Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: mindrape
> 
> One step forward, two steps back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Charlie Magne  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Frankie (OC)

After that total disaster, Angel wanted to die a second time. Of course Alastor was not around ... maybe he was even a bit offended.

**‘He just wanted to do something nice for me and I left him hanging like an ungrateful idiot.’**

And while he felt the temptation to drown his pains in booze, the idea made him feel like an idiot. Since he had come back, he hadn't been able to feel anything close to tipsy ... and if he couldn't even do that as a fallen angel, how was he supposed to get drunk off his ass?

Barely able to sleep, he waited instead.

* * *

Morning saw Alastor seated at Charlie's desk. Regular, routine, predictable. The princess was catching him up on hotel business:

"... and that Sir Pentious! I know he's loud. And nosy. And _maaaybe_ kind of teensy-weensy annoying - ok, maybe a **lot.** But the _**eggbois** _..! They've been a blessing! A little creepy, why not! But ..."

"I'm **sure**."

He took a sip of coffee, and tried to quell the pounding hangover within his skull, near his right temple.

"Al ... are you okay?"

With a sigh, the Radio Demon put down his newspaper, locking eyes with Hell's very own heiress as he forced his smile to widen - _why now?_

"Why, why wouldn't I be!"

Charlie shrugged. "I don't know ... you just seem _tense_ , is all."

The overlord had a habit of fidgeting through touch ... he often hummed while rearranging her desk to his own liking, in mischievous spirit. But today he seemed tired, somehow - defeated, perhaps? For Charlie, who enjoyed working off her excess reserves of energy against those rare souls who _could_ spring back from it, the change in demeanor was not just evident, it was _uncanny_.

Reminding himself that that he did **_not_** like dogs and that her puppy-eyes would **_not_** work on him, Alastor tried his _**damnedest**_ to ignore Charlie's pleading gaze:

"... I just had a _very_ late night, is all."

\--

In actuality, he'd spent his evening holed up in his private quarters. It was the type of room kept hidden at the back of minor lounge establishments, between broom closets and stairwells, hallways and elevators. The peripheral shadow of liminal spaces just barely clinging to the fringe of existence ...

And he'd had a few drinks, listened to a few songs. Until he was drunk and staggering along the shores of his own personal swamp.

 ** _What a mess._ **Of _course_ he'd run away - he'd _panicked_ , and it was hardly a surprise with the _damned deer instincts!_ But ... he also came to the realisation that perhaps he'd misread the entire situation. He'd spent so **_long_** being the showrunner, the man behind the curtain ... that he'd failed to account for his co-stars. Granted, he usually _ate_ them, which put them on the same level as props - cold, dead unfeeling. To be used and discarded at the end of production.

But Angel was _different_. He was a breath of fresh air - and had _always_ been, long before the radio station.

 ** _I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions_**. Particularly when he didn't even _know_ what he wanted out of their arrangement, and _least_ of all what _Angel_ could want after last night. **_Why did I listen to that goddamned rabbit_ _!?_**

* * *

Frankie just about flipped when she heard the news about Angel (maybe, _probably_ ) having a new stage to perform on.

**_"How? When? You idiot, he obviously wants to get closer to you! Do you think he just goes around offering venues to just anyone?"  
_ **

_Probably not_. Angel felt stupid as she scolded him, shaking his shoulders so that he couldn't help but laugh - it was a welcome change from last night.

"Okay, okay! I will!"

"And promise me if anything awkward happens again you will face him and actually fucking talk to him!"

"Promise." he said, watching her pull out her book on drag queens to hand over to him. He put his autograph in it without needing to be asked.

_‘For the best bunny a spider could ask for. Love, Angel Dust.’_

* * *

"... okaaaay."

Charlie wasn't convinced. But she decided to let it drop for now, seeing as Alastor wasn't in a talking mood.

"Just, let me know if you need anything, ok? We cool?"

 _Finally._ Meeting her expression of concern with his tired smile, Alastor disappeared behind his newspaper again. Staring at it blankly while he once again debated the nature of his sins and eternal punishment.

And he remained as such long after Charlie left. He'd have been tempted to stay the rest of the day, too, had he not been called down to collect mail. Which he thought strange - Rosie was many things, but she was _not_ forgetful. She knew Angel was to be the intended recipient of her package ... Alastor did not wear _dresses_ , after all.

* * *

When the delivery came Angel felt a knot in his throat. He instantly opened it in the hall, not even bothering to reach his room.

**'Fuck, Alastor!'  
**

It was a long cocktail dress made with a luxurious and intricate fabric ... He left the dress where it was, and ran down the hall so fast that when he passed by Niffty, she had to hold her skirt down to keep it from flying away.

* * *

" **Oh, no sir - Angel Dust just picked up a separate delivery not even 5 minutes ago. This one is definitely yours**."

What could it be? He didn't think ... _no_. Rosie would _not_ have made a matching ensemble for him. She specialised in women's fashion, not men's. And her stylings were often much too elaborate, even for Alastor's taste.

Spurred by the curiosity, he finally left the office. Only for Angel to come along like a speeding vehicle, knocking the wind right out of his lungs -

* * *

In a matter of seconds he spotted the deer demon and launched himself to hug him. It was only by miracle that he didn't end up burying his face into his fluffy chest - **now t** **hat would have been awkward!**

"Thank you! That's what I wanted to say! Fuck, I'm such an idiot! You can beat me for it when I'm done hugging you!"

* * *

"- _angel_. **Angel** , put me down, you're **squeezing** ..!" he uttered, though his voice took on the small and strained tin of a bad reception. The too-tall spider had literally swept him off his feet and left his hoofed-soles dangling in the air uselessly, so that the deer wasn't sure what to do about it, other than to hold on for the dizzying ride ...

* * *

His heart hammered in his chest and maybe his skin shuddered a bit at the contact. But it was so warm and comfortable ...

"Oh oh! Sorry! I don't know my own -!" He let him down and stopped touching Alastor when he realized maybe he was hurting him.

"I'm sorry. I got the dress. It's ... _beautiful_ , thank you! I just didn't know what to say 'cause you were being all nice and ..."

He tried to look Alastor in the eyes, but it was very hard and he was stumbling over his own words again ...

* * *

He didn't immediately let go when Angel put him down ... because he wanted to make sure his feet were properly grounded before he released the broad shoulders keeping him stable. Not to mention there was _also_ a part of him that wanted to keep Angel close for selfish reasons ... Recognising this guilty pleasure, Alastor promptly ignored the feeling and pulled away, folding his arms behind his back in a professional manner.

"You don't **have** to say ... that is, you didn't **owe** me anything! Just ... **enjoy** it for what it **is**!" he snapped, feeling a bit flustered by the excessive attention. He was starting to get overwhelmed, his emotions already on edge from last night's crippling fugue of self-doubt ... that he _almost_ considered taking Angel up on his offer to beat him senseless.

 _No, that's hardly dignified!_ Dragging his hand down his face in exasperation, he finally managed:

"... _**does it** **fit**?"_

There was no way Angel had tried it on yet. _Probably_... in any case, the question was meant to be a practical means to clear the charged atmosphere between them. Not that staring at Angel's chest was helping ... but it was less awkward than looking into his vulnerable face. And it wasn't like there was a set of breasts here. Or even if there **_were_** , it wasn't like Alastor could even begin to feign interest - he simply wasn't _wired_ like that ...

* * *

"I - I didn't try it on yet ..." He felt a bit stupid, suddenly snapped out of his awkwardness. Miraculously, his quick thinking let him keep the chat going.

"But I will in a moment! Um ... if I'm really going to perform, I will need a lot more. You know the place, right? Would you help me pick out the music? I don't want to feel out of place ..."

**‘And also, you have to like it. There is _no way_ I'm gonna do this if you don't like the music!’**

Because even if his personality screamed otherwise, Angel lived to please.

* * *

"- of **course!** We'll find the perfect song and everything - I **did** tell you it would be a _proper_ establishment. Not some puritan congregation full of **stiffs**!"

Shaking his head, he felt the tension slip away. _This_ was territory he could deal with ... Straightening out the lapels of his jacket and fixing his bow tie, he finally looked up at Angel. And sighed.

"Just make sure it _fits_. We can discuss the music _**after**_. Now, if you'll excuse me -"

He wasn't running away this time - he just needed to take care of business, was all. "I have to go and run an errand. But I will be at my station later this evening. Not for "work" or anything this time, just ..."

When he wasn't broadcasting, he tended to visit music halls, cafes, and the theatre. But with Angel's request in mind ...

"... if you'd **like** to stop by. To go over my music collection, that is - I take it you already know your way?"

It was a rhetorical question ... and maybe even a teasing one, alluding to the nature of their previous meetings.

* * *

Angels face lit up, and his chest felt tight and warm in the best of ways. "I will be there!"

Later, he would ask for Niffty's assistance to make sure the dress looked just perfect over his thin frame. And he'd go through his collection of make-up to make sure he had everything he needed for the occasion.

**This was gonna be great.**

* * *

* * *

_It had all been a misunderstanding, after all~_

Making his way down to the hotel's lobby, Alastor couldn't help the spring in his step - in his chest, he felt his heart flutter at the possibility of reconciliation. There was excitement, too - though it would have to wait until he dealt with his mystery package.

It was ... a large box? Larger than anything Rosie would send. And _hefty_ , too! - who had sent it? There were no names or postmarks or _anything_ ... It was almost as if someone had simply dropped it off on their doorstep ...

Curiouser still was when he peeked inside - no wonder it was so heavy! There were metal reels inside! And several additional parcels, tightly bound within the main package. If he had to guess, it was probably tapes or volumes of some sort. It didn't happen often, but he wasn't exactly a stranger to brave fans' efforts to connect with him in the form of mail and amateur submissions.

He took it all back to his radio station, where he had the proper equipment ready to tackle this new 'collection'. Good thing he'd taken the opportunity to clean up on a prior day - older media could be _sensitive_ , after all.

As it turned out, the spools were actually film reels - and the smaller parcels? He'd already set up the projector, and was waiting for the picture show to begin while he fiddled with tearing the wrapping off the first of the bound volumes (they _had_ to be books, he reasoned, given the size, density, and shape). Perhaps they were journals, ones that the sender had been reluctant to share? Or even -

He'd only _just_ opened it, when he suddenly dropped it and toppled backwards in shock. It was a collection of pornographic glamour shots. He quickly averted his gaze ... but had seen _enough_ to distinguish the unmistakable shape and form of a certain and _very_ familiar -

 **[** _**Oh fuck, yes! Ah ... just fucking give it to me!** _ **]**

And then there were the _sounds_. Alastor's eyes went wide, feeling like the rug had been pulled out from under him while his world fell apart. He didn't **need** to see -

 **[** _**I need more ... fuck!** _ **]**

Compromising photos spilled out from the dropped case as the deer tripped over it in his confusion, treating him to an unexpected and unwanted eyeful. _There_ was the spider, in various stages of ecstasy and sexual delirium. And his eyes stared straight through the camera, right into Alastor. A haunting ghost reaching out to him from an unfamiliar past -

 **[ _I can't ... I'm crashing, I, I need more!! ..._** ******_DAMN IT!_ ]  
**

And then there was the screaming. And Alastor finally looked up at the film, because those were _**not**_ Angel's cries -

"... _Oh no_ ..."

These were _cannibalistic_ snuff films - meant for a _very_ specific subset of deviants. In a way, what was playing was no different from Alastor's _own_ broadcasts, all other intent and purpose laid aside. But looking at _this_ version of Angel ... it was only too obvious that the spider himself was not the willing participant of his own actions. In fact, it didn't seem like his mind was very much present _at all_ through his bloodlust - his stilted movements were a tell-tale sign of substance abuse. What Alastor was witnessing was a _**rape**_ , physical and of the consciousness -!

**[ 'CRUNCH ... drip ... drip .... ]**

This had to be a _sick_ joke ... but even so, it wasn't lost on Alastor just how similarly he had **used** Angel. He'd _realised_ it, too - felt the voyeuristic thrill, been _titillated_ by the entrancing sight of the fallen angel painted in _**his**_ red. Suddenly the spider's aversion made **too** much sense, and Alastor felt sickness overtake him.

_What have I done?_

The deer's legs sprung into action first, long before his mind could even think to catch up to the present. He missed the door on his first fleeing attempt, snapping off an antler as he bashed headfirst into the frame instead. With a bit of blood and swearing, his second attempt was far more successful, and he was at last able to escape this living nightmare. He was running away, yet _again_ ...

If he'd stopped to thoroughly search the box, he would have found two notes from its 'mysterious' donors:

> _**Just sending our regards. From one overlord to another XOXO Val <3** _
> 
> _**It was a bitch finding this old tech, Val. You're welcome -VOX** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. for those of you who did not realise this title was bilingual, please PLEASE use google to translate it from german ☠️  
> 2\. welcome to the chapter of no return /0/  
> -ornithia  
>    
> **3\. Super important question for you, dear reader!:  
>  Can you guess what color Angel's outfit will be in the next chapter?**
> 
>  **a. red  
>  b. grey  
> c. black  
> **  
> -Nekokolove


	14. 🎨 Wear and where

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The answer for last week's question was: **Grey**.  
> But probably not for the reasons you thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Valentino, Vox, Alastor, Charlie Magne, Razzle & Dazzle  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Vaggie, Frankie (OC), Velvet

Angel found Alastor's studio empty as he slipped in through the window.

"Al ..?"

While calling for the radio demon, he spotted the projector - maybe the deer had been watching a movie and took a break? But then he stumbled upon the pictures scattered all over the ground -

_**'What! Why would he have this!?'**_ Before the spider could jump to the obvious conclusion, he noticed the box with the film reels. And his blood ran cold when he saw their labels, and the names and dates that were printed on each one.

**'No, no, no, NO!'**

* * *

Atop Porn Studios, Valentino howled with laughter as an anomaly of shadow streaked through the surveillance feed playing on the TV of his private lounge.

"There he goes! Look at him, running off with his tail between his **fucking** legs -"

Vox barely paid attention to the group call as Velvet lauded the pimp overlord's commentary; he was too busy reviewing the live footage. They'd already caught _one_ glimpse of their 'cryptid' colleague -

"... Voxxy. He **_has_** got a tail, right?"

He _swore_ he could feel the petulant tinge in Valentino's tone as the moth continued, unanswered: "- you're _really_ gonna hold out on me? Over fucking _Bambi_ -"

"- why do _you_ need to know?" he finally cut in, wary of Val's sudden interest in **_his_** rival. Truth be told, he was starting to regret this whole operation ...

Sneering, Valentino flipped through channels, attempting to relocate the deer on his panicked prance through Hell. "I did you a fucking _favor_ , _**bitch**_ _..._ It'll be a **real** long time before he's able to look at that stupid slut in his ugly motherfucking face again -"

The technomancer bristled. "You think I _care_ about some fucking spider has-been that's got **nothing** to do with -"

"Look, if you're gonna talk shit about _**my**_ wares -"

"You _**just** _called him "ugly" and a "stupid slut" -!"

"- because **I'm** the one that poured time and investment into his worthless ass, _dipshit_ \- can you _believe_ this, Vel?" the moth ranted, putting Vox on the spot. "Sides ... I don't see _you_ intending to make a **_purchase_**. What's _that_ say about **_your_** -"

* * *

_Who could sell him this?!_ **_No_** _one_ was supposed to even have this footage! Because ... he had **begged** Valentino. Negotiated with him numerous times just to make it go away ..! Desperately searching the package remains, he found the small notes with Valentino's and Vox's names on them, confirming his suspicions.

"Val did it. That son of a bitch did it."

Angel sighed, and felt his heart throb in a horrible way as rage and frustration raced through him. Without realizing it, he answered his phone - not because he had wanted to accept the incoming call, but because it had beeped in his pocket and he just wanted the device to **_stop_**.

It was Frankie. "Hey Angel! So I'm in my room and too lazy to leave, haha! And I wanted to ask -"

"I'm gonna kill that moth this fucking instant. He's gonna wish he'd never fucked with me."

"What?"

Ending the call, Angel tossed the phone to the floor. On his back, his wings shook and puffed out - he was going to put an end to the demon that had ruined his last bit of hope.

\--

Velvet contained her giggles, watching Vox’s face fill the whole screen of their conference call. He was _clearly_ upset.

“Come on, _dads_ \- stop fighting ... And you have to admit, that's _hilarious_. Almost as good as Angel's scared face! This has viral video potential!”

* * *

Valentino sighed - he _hated_ when Vox got his cables all caught up in a twist. And Velvet _did_ have a point ...

" _Fine_ ... how 'bout I make it up to the _both_ of you. Go and replay that part with the 'money shot' from earlier, will you?"

_Velvet had a point._ Reluctant but knowing _precisely_ what Valentino was referring to, Vox obliged and transitioned his face into a faded scenery. Other than muted colors and a rolling timestamp, there was nothing of interest to note. At least ... not until the radio demon came into view, distorting the footage in all of his artifact-ridden glory.

"What now?" Vox queried, tersely because the moth had struck a nerve earlier.

He grinned in response. "Whaddaya mean? The fact that you can see his face _at all_ in this one ... it's _freaky_ , isn't it? Assuming it _**always**_ does that and that it ain't _just_ because we just broke the prude too early ..."

Vox scowled; they'd better _not_ have. They _knew_ Alastor was his to -

"... I bet you could shoot a whole load **_all over_** that shit-eating grin of his and _still_ not -"

"- what the _FUCK_ , Val!"

"- _**oh**_ , you _like_ that? Didn't think it went 'that' way between you two~!"

The mismatched pair of antennae wagged as Valentino threw his head back, listening to Velvet squeal with scandaled delight as Vox bitched into _both_ of their ears. Spreading his legs wide, the pimp relaxed into his chair and raised the lone arm on the maimed side of his body, in order to give the stump limb below room to stretch.

"I'm just **_saying_** \- if I were you, I'd _sell_ that shit. Even _Velvet_ agrees. But I'm not gonna get between you and whatever beef you got going on with this shitlord - you wanna keep it to yourself? Go ahead - all I give a _fuck_ about is taking 'back' for what was **_taken_** ..."

How would Angel react, when he found out his own _content_ had ruined his cannibal escort's 'appetite'?

* * *

* * *

Angel flew like an arrow, straight to Porn Studios. On the way, his body shone for a second and materialized his mace, in addition to a light body suit that made him nearly indistinguishable from an exterminator angel. He hated the look, for more reasons than ever before, and probably scared anyone who happened to raise their eyes to the sky in that moment. But he couldn't afford getting hurt if he was going to kill Valentino for good.

He spotted the floor where the moth always worked when he approached the large building. Smashing through the glass with all of his strength, he sent broken glass everywhere inside.

"I'M HERE TO TALK, YOU INSUFFERABLE BITCH!"

* * *

"- **_Angel Cake_.** What _took_ you so long - _what?_ Yeah - no, _Velvet._ We'll talk _later_ -!"

Valentino hastily ended the conference call with his fellow overlords - this was a _personal_ affair.

Reaching for one of his canes, the pimp stood and backed away slowly, antennae twitching as he did so. He'd have to plot his next move carefully ...

"Should've warned me you were gonna drop in - I would've warmed up your old _seat_." he leered, and gestured downwards, lewdly.

* * *

Angel swung his mace, and materialized a second one for his secondary set of hands. 

"Not even in your dreams, you limp-dick!"

Launching himself towards the overlord, he got ready to hit him with his first weapon. "I brought a brand-new outfit, just to fuck you up forever!"

* * *

Leaping back, Valentino jumped up and over his chair - he _wasn't_ going to take his chances like last time. Like it or not, Angel had grown strong; he would have to keep his wits about him and keep his distance if he wanted to come out on top.

Inching along the walls, he kept his focus on the fallen angel:

"You think a halo and a fancy costume change anything? Well, lemme tell you, it _don't_ \- I know you. I've _**seen**_ you. You're a _whore_ , same as the rest. And that's all you'll ever be - this skit of yours? Ain't nothing more than roleplay; sad and _desperate_ -"

He suddenly swung his cane and released it, so that it went flying, spinning straight for Angel's head. In implementing his distractionary tactic, he made a mad dash for the broken window, grabbing another spare cane from his ruined wall display as he went.

"You wanna **_fuck_** around so bad? Come and catch me first!"

_Four_ cryptic wings erupted from his form as he leapt into the sky and took flight.

* * *

Dodging the cane, Angel rushed after the moth, taking to the air.

"I'm not your business anymore!"

Spreading his wings, he headed straight towards the roof.

-.-.- 

Frankie had no idea what Valentino had done to Angel. But " _kill that moth this fucking instant_ " gave her enough of an idea to know she had to do something. Rushing to put some shoes on, she ran downstairs - she would need a car to reach Porn Studios as fast as she could. And she would have to let the princess and the others know that Angel seemed to have lost it.

* * *

* * *

"He's WHAT."

Charlie could hardly believe what she was hearing - what, when, why, _how???_ Had she really been so careless that she'd managed to neglect Angel? Sure, he'd seemed a little strained by their angel training at first, but then they'd _talked_ , and he'd taken a much needed break! Cooking, and getting along so well with everyone, even _Alastor_ -"

_Wait_. The deer **wouldn't** -

_But **especially** Alastor_. Fearing the worst, Charlie gathered her entourage of Razzle, Dazzle, and Vaggie, and had Frankie direct them as they sped towards their fallen friend's intervention in her father's limo.

\--

The base of Alastor's antler had stopped bleeding by now - he'd run himself dry, senseless, and _into a moving vehicle_. The resulting exhaustion had bleached the subtle tan of his Creole skin, and left him looking pale and sickly, covered in a sheen that contrasted sharply against the brown of faded scars.

He'd never set out to become an overlord - he'd simply _been_. And now look at him, suffering the _second_ humiliation since his untimely death! Collapsed by the side of the road, the deer demon lay an easy target. Though none dared to approach him yet - even in his weakened state, _most_ demons were well-versed in the status of overlords, and wise enough to consider the tricks and black magic that had garnered him his infamy -

" **Holy shit** , pull over!"

A familiar white limo pulled up beside him, but he was too emotionally drained to care. Except to grin, and keep up appearances -

"Alastor! What are you **doing** out here!? Where's -"

:̛: _Don't̕-!̢_ :: he spat, lashing out at -

It was only Charlie. And peeking out behind her were Vaggie and Frankie. Feeling a wave of panic, he bared his teeth at the rabbit, long and sharp and deadly.

:: ̡ _W̛hat did̸ ̕y͟o̷ư **s̛a̴y** to ̴them._ ̡::

* * *

Frankie froze in place for a second, but Vaggie got in between her and the demon's glare, not liking the sound of this at all.

"What do you mean?" she demanded. "Was she _not_ supposed to tell us Angel's gone batshit crazy and is about to pick a fight with an overlord again? Keep acting like a weirdo all you want, but **we** are going to stop him!" 

* * *

* * *

He'd be the first to admit, his wings were not the greatest among all of the types one _could_ encounter in Hell. But Valentino had learned to _use_ them. So when Angel came barreling straight at him, he simply stopped flying; he _dropped_.

"If you ain't my business then why did you **make yourself my business!** "

It was enough of a maneuver to dodge, and he was able to resume his flight effortlessly thereafter. Up he went, until he was flying in a great big circle around the building's roof -

"Go ahead - take a _nice_ , _deep_ whiff of my **_devil's breath_** _!_ "

A powder began to rain down from his wings' scales, drifting through the air and surrounding the immediate area in a chalky haze.

* * *

"You wanna keep throwing stuff at me, eh?!"

Angel knew he would be breathing in pure drugs. But his head was already so worked up that he didn't even care. Materializing several sharp blades, he threw them one after another at Valentino. Only a few actually hit the moth, but only because the ones that missed were meant to distract him while Angel planned a more deadly strike.

* * *

" ** _Motherfucker_** -"

Because they were holy weapons, the tears left behind by the knives would not heal. Even so, a moth's wings were thin yet durable - despite being punctured in various places, they did not lose any of their aerodynamic quality. Valentino's wild patterns shimmered in psychedelic display as the overlord carried himself along wind currents, maneuvering himself out of projectile range.

"Oh Angel, _baby_ \- don't you realise? It's not **always** about you ..!"

Turning around, he gestured below - the drug had been circulating long enough that it had entered the building's ventilation system. _Every_ sex worker in the vicinity had fallen to the powder's spell, and was now being inexplicably drawn towards the roof.

"Now **where** do you think I'm going with this, **Angel Dust**?"

\--

Alastor continued to glare at the rabbit in silence. However, his expression softened just slightly; she'd been surprisingly loyal, despite his constant cruelty.

If he weren't already drowning in a deluge of feeling, he might've even spared a bit of _guilt_ for her trouble. Fortunately for him, _he was all out of fucks to give_. Turning to Vaggie, he put on his 'civil' act:

"... perhaps you should **enlighten** me to what this _'overlord business'_ concerns, _**Vagath**_ -!?"

Charlie slapped him, neither deaf nor blind. The Radio Demon was overstepping boundaries with his tone, and she was **_not_** going to stand for it.

"- _**Vaggie's**_ right. And _**you**_ look like shit - we're going to take you with us, **stop** Angel from going **_full exterminator out of season_** , and take you _both_ back to -"

_:͟: **I ͡did ͞i̢t.͟ ̧** ::͡_

And then the deer cackled, a cold, deep, and hollow sound: " _I **did** it_, Charlie! Don't you know - **I** turned him into a _monster_. While your _back_ was turned and -!"

This time Charlie punched him - she'd had _enough_. Aim squared on his face. she knocked his lights out so that he _finally_ found the courtesy to shut up, passed out against pavement. In the process, she also sprouted horns, and her eyes glowed murder-red as she began to rant:

" **W** **hat part** of " _you don't take shit from other demons!_ " don't you assholes _**get!?**_ I'm LITERALLY the _fucking princess!_ Is that **so** hard to understand!? -"

While she stomped back into the limo, Razzle and Dazzle went out to collect the Radio Demon. They lifted him like the sack of bones that he was and they carried him to the back of vehicle, where they popped open the trunk and threw him inside. Making sure to pack away his limbs neatly, they then slammed the lid shut and headed back to the driver's cabin, resuming their trip to Porn Studios.

_Business as usual._

* * *

"I can't believe you knocked him out. What got into him? Frankie, what do you know that we don't?" Vaggie asked the rabbit, feeling that there was more in this mess than they guessed.

"… I'm not sure what he meant. Angel told me he was training for purification, but he didn't want to get me involved. He only said that it was a really hard thing to do and that he needed energy. Not sure how it can make him a 'monster'."

Frankie was sure Alastor's feelings were not the question there. Or at least, she prayed that was the case because he would have her head if she had to talk.

* * *

Charlie was still seething in her seat. But she was also concerned, addressing both their rabbit friend and her girlfriend.

"Yeah, well - he shouldn't have been _acting_ like such a huge jerk! Just because he's a 'big, scary overlord' doesn't mean he should be able to get away with that sort of thing! And I didn't like the way he was looking at you! _Or_ you ..."

She sighed, clutching her head where her horns had briefly sprouted just prior: "I just feel ... like maybe he was trying to help. In that skeevy-as-fuck way of his. He _has_ been spending a lot of time with Angel ... and it **did** all start after I told you guys about my parents and the whole thing about purification."

She made a frustrated sound.

"I'm not ... I'm not stupid; I _know_ what I was doing wasn't working! And I think _**he**_ knew, and didn't want to upset me, so ... He let me keep on thinking that I was doing the 'right' thing, while _**he**_ took care of doing the **real** work behind our backs and - ughhh, he's **just** as bad as _Dad!_ "

She sunk into her seat, suddenly feeling extremely worried about lashing out.

"Do you think he got hurt from it? Something _**must**_ have gone wrong - did you **see** him? He was bleeding! And he was missing an antler, too - you don't think Angel did that to him, _do you?_ "

They were almost at their destination. The Porn Studios tower was visible just up ahead.

* * *

* * *

"You think I have something to lose, motherfucker? You think I'm scared of any double-death bullshit?! Ha! Good luck with that!!"

Angel spun the two maces in his hands. He threw one to the right in a curve directed at Valentino. Then he launched himself from the left to strike with the second mace. Only now it had shifted into a blade.

"I can do this all night!" Barely able to distinguish the blurry figures in front of him, he struck and landed a triumphant blow.

* * *

Valentino was smirking, his heart lenses bright and visible beyond the flurry of dust. He laughed.

"You might wanna try that again, _sweetheart_ \- not **exactly** what I had in mind when they petitioned for an early retirement plan, but hey! Now I don't gotta worry about their **paychecks**!"

The moth folded his wings away and disappeared into the crowd of prostitutes swarming the rooftop in a drug-addled haze.

* * *

He'd slain at least four demons ...

" **Stupid fucker!!** "

But there was no time to feel guilty about it. The energy boost was immediate, and he used it find Valentino, feeling the last of his restraints come undone.

"Too easy, now!"

_He could smell his disgusting blood, no problem_. Detecting the demon, Angel raised his weapon again and brought it down with all of his strength - this time, he was determined to slash into the **correct** body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. art by [Nekokolove/Awkwardcat ](https://twitter.com/AwkwardCatArt/status/1337796340760387584)
> 
>   
> 
> 
>   
> 2\. every time these chapters are late, just remember: I'M TRYING, SOBB. quality > quantity, i want you guys to get the best possible version of things.  
> \- ornithia 


	15. Disappearing act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thrilling conclusion ... or is it?  
> (It's not.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Valentino, Vox, Alastor, Charlie Magne, Razzle & Dazzle  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Velvet, Vaggie, Frankie (OC)

Charlie was the first to hop out of the limo. She had summoned her wings and was already flying up the building, when she saw the layer of dust.

"What the - what is this _**stuff**?"_

* * *

"Frankie, I’m gonna try to help. I don’t know if I can reason with any of them, but I will call your phone if you need to run. You just stay here for now, okay?”

"Yes, Vaggie.”

Frankie watched helplessly as the woman grabbed her spear and left the car to go after Charlie. What else could she do?

* * *

"FUCK off!"

Valentino was running out of options - but there was still _one_ thing he could do. Feeling the spider descend upon him, the moth blew out his wings behind him one last time -

"... SON of a **fucking bitch!!!** ”

He managed to just barely spare himself - but he lost a wing in the process. The holy weapon pierced through its main artery, spilling vascular fluid as it caught and then tore the rest of the margin to ribbons.

Valentino would _never_ fly properly again. But he could still **dive -**

"EAT **SHIT!** " he snarled, grabbing the nearest prostitute and taking her with him as he jumped off the side of the building, his lower wings fluttering beneath a single, struggling primary.

* * *

Angel could feel the flow of energy, but his rage was fogging his judgement. He would happily slay more sinners if it meant he could kill Val at last.

 **This was gonna end soon**. He followed after Valentino in his jump - there was no other option.

* * *

She didn’t know _what_ it was, but she did know that it was blocking her view. Summoning flames at her fingertips, she flew in a loop and hurled fireballs into the dense layer, each whistling off before exploding into a spectacular display of sparks. It burned off the cloudy debris, and allowed for an unobstructed view of several things at once:

" **What** the -!?"

Was that **Valentino** who'd just dived past her? And -

"ANGEL! What are you doing -"

" **CATCH THIS** -!"

A prostitute was thrown up at her. She _shrieked_.

\--

In the trunk, Alastor had started returning to consciousness. He wasn’t sure where he was, except that it was dark and that his head was pounding with the recollection of recent events. He could also barely feel his limbs, which made him wonder if he still even had them ... was that the sound of _explosions_ outside?

"... I _suppose_ I deserved that.”

Might as well reflect.

* * *

Frankie jumped at the sound of Alastor's voice. Turning around, she folded down the trunk access from the backseat.

"... Are you fine? Or are you gonna go crazy, too?" she asked him.

* * *

"Oh, Frankie! ... didn’t think anyone would still **_be_** here ...”

 _At least it wasn’t dark anymore_. Alastor continued to stare ahead, however - in his periphery, he could now make out the faint outline of his arms and legs. **_Who had arranged him like this_** _?_

"... I didn’t expect you to actually keep your **word**." he said a bit stiffly, writhing a bit.

* * *

"Well, I was pretty sure you would eviscerate me, otherwise." she clarified, feeling a bit petty. "But I know you would have run away in self-denial until your second death if the others knew. And I did tell you I've been in your place, before, too. A _lot_ ... I used to have to focus on using people's desires to get what I wanted all the time."

She wasn't sure if Alastor could move in his state, but she was beginning to grow anxious for the others outside with every second that passed. "I hope Angel calms down ... Or kills Valentino. Charlie is with them, but I'm still worried."

* * *

Alastor chuckled darkly; she was _good_.

"Perhaps I was too hasty in my _**judgement**_ of you.”

He'd managed to shift around a little, curled up on his side. Enough to direct a sly grin out at her, from where he lay in the darkness. It was probably the closest he was _ever_ going to get to an actual apology ... But then his expression grew sharp with sudden intent -

"You have been a most **_v͡al͝uable̢_ **ally -”

He was gone.

\--

Charlie flew after the prostitute, catching and gliding her back down to the ground. Landing near Vaggie, she set down her passenger.

"Why are they fighting!? They're putting _others_ at risk!" she huffed with exasperation, before turning her attention back to the skies. "Vaggie, did you see where they -"

" **FUCKING -**!"

 _He’d been caught!_ But Valentino wouldn’t give up that easily - he spun them in their descent, spiraling his body as he bashed Angel’s against the outside of the building.

* * *

Angel had no problem catching Valentino in a flying nosedive, wrestling him in the air as he tried to chop off his remaining limbs with his blade, as if it were an axe.

But then he felt the crackling of glass, and then the destruction of several pieces of furniture as they crashed through and inside.

 **It would have hurt a lot more without the light armor**. Angel ignored the pain of buried fragments inside of him, and in their mess of limbs managed to stab Valentino through his sides.

* * *

Valentino choked, feeling the holy weapon dig into him. It **burned** -

"... **fuck** , it _hurts!_ But THIS is going to hurt a _**lot**_ more -!"

He grabbed Angel’s wrist on the holy weapon, and forced him to push it all the way through. He _screamed_ with the agony of it -

"- _**Aaghh**!"_

 _But it went_. And then it left him, dropping to the floor as it came out the other side. Bloodied and drooling, Valentino fixed a triumphant sneer upon his would-be exterminator.

 _"... heh._ Looks like you _missed_ - **"**

He didn’t get the chance to gloat further, as an unusually thick and powerful tendril shot up from the shadows and impaled him through the jaw, into the ceiling. He could no longer move nor speak ... Left helpless and hanging, all he could do was writhe as he struggled to get away, panicked eyes searching the room through his broken set of lens.

_**When did the Radio Demon get here!?** _

* * *

Angel watched in disbelief as Valentino was pinned to the ceiling. Where had that come from? Could it be ..?

 **‘No time for that!’** He jumped and applied his finishing move, chopping off the head in a lethal blow.

* * *

* * *

Per Velvet's request, Vox used his network to access Val's security feed. They'd **_tried_** to warn Val, knowing it could turn dire. But the idiot had simply gone, chasing after his fucking **_clout_ **-

\- and now he was _gone_. Vox froze, caught between horror and fascination as the scene continued to unfold before them.

"Vel ..." he stammered, not quite sure how to address the situation.

The shadows retreated the moment the pimp’s soul was extinguished, and now there was _**light**. _They were dealing with an exterminator ... and _Alastor was **involved**_.

* * *

"No ... it can't be! That useless slut!"

Velvet swept everything off of her table, losing visual contact with the videocall for a moment.

That fallen angel, exterminator or whatever ... She felt herself sniffing a bit; they'd have to try and salvage some of Valentino's belongings first ...

"This can't stay like this." she said, swallowing the burning lump in her throat as she picked up her phone to look at Vox again. They were going teach Angel Dust and the Radio Demon a _lesson_.

"And _you_ have to help me ..."

-.-.-.- 

When Frankie saw the giant winged ball of light, she ignored any remaining self-preservation instinct and ran in its direction.

* * *

* * *

Charlie flew towards where the screaming _had_ been. And then she saw it -

" **Angel!** "

What _**else**_ could it be? As fast as her wings could carry her, she dived right after the glowing orb. **Maybe she’d reach it before it hit the ground ..!**

* * *

The instant the demon's body hit the floor, Angel groaned in pain. His wings began to stir, and his body shone with white light.

**_He needed to get outside, where he couldn’t hurt any more demons._ **

But for some reason his wings didn’t respond when he tried to fly. Instead, he fell down the building in a ball of light, decorated with a twisting halo.

He felt as his feathers split apart, broken and frayed.

He felt as several horns began to push out of his forehead -

He felt someone reach for him, and he pushed them away. Like swatting away a fly ... Such raw power had sent whoever it was catapulting backwards.

And then he hit the ground, causing a crater. His wings shrunk and pushed themselves inside his body in a very unnatural way. He felt the snap of his rib cage as it crackled and popped, making room for a growing set of new arms. And there were eyes, so very many eyes ...

"Angel? Is that you?"

 _Someone else_. "Frankie? Get away, it's dangerous!"

"Let me help you!"

"You can't! I have to burn all of this energy before, ARGH!!”

Angel could barely see between his body's light show, his new eyes adjusting, and a bothersome set of spikes and horns. Even worse, his previously broken halo was now splintering further, sending a new wave of pain through him.

He heard steps approach at his side. And there were two tiny blurry hands in front of him.

"This is what you told me, right? This is why it is so difficult? To purify?” 

Angel did not answer as thinking became harder by the second. He was both there but _not_ there. And Frankie's voice was mixing with the voices of hundreds of memories, all playing at the same time like a mad chorus:

**‘₥₳₭Ɇ ł₮ ₴₮Ø₱’**

**‘MAKE IT STOP!’**

**‘₥₳₭Ɇ ł₮ ₴₮Ø₱’**

She insisted. "Please do it. Let me help you - I want to start all over again."

Angel held the hands in front of him. Everything went silent, and then the light went off like a flash bomb -

He passed out.

* * *

Charlie didn’t know **what** had hit her.

 _Ow_ ...

But she knew she **had** hit a wall. Partially embedded, she felt as her body began to slip from the brickwork, until she came free and she began to fall. Down and down she dropped, until she recalled her aristocratic flight training and kicked it into gear. She carried herself in a less-than graceful glide, from which she crumpled into a landing.

"What was ... _**Angel**_ , _oh no_..!"

 ** _She’d been too late!_** Despite her own condition, the princess pushed past bodily protest and hurried over to the spider’s body, to make sure his soul was still intact within.

_He's still there! Clinging, but barely ..._

"Vaggie, **help**!"

* * *

Hundreds of demons that had been under Valentino's trance stood around, now looking at each other and wondering how they had gotten to where they were.

"I swear I saw Frankie getting closer; I told her to stay away! But I couldn’t reach her before it went off -"

The light explosion had blinded Vaggie for a second, but by now the moth's vision had adjusted. She found Charlie at Angel's side - the spider didn’t look too beaten, aside from a few scratches and his ripped clothes.

"He's still with us?"

But his color was abnormally grey, and he wasn't moving ... "We have to take him somewhere safe."

* * *

Despite her many questions, Charlie began to drag Angel back towards the limo.

"Wait, _**Frankie**_ came out here!? _Why_ \- where did she **go**?”

Razzle and Dazzle spotted her, and instantly moved to assist in transporting the tall, lanky spider.

"No, really now! Where’s Frankie? And -"

Before she could protest, her minions were already carrying their fallen angel friend off towards the back of the limo. But just as they popped open the trunk, they paused, and looked questioningly over at Charlie. Wondering the reason for their hesitation, she headed over to investigate -

"- he’s _**gone**!?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. this one's posted on time bc it was fun and got done _fast_ ~  
> 2\. We have a new question for you for next week!: 
> 
> **Which of the following will make a debut in the next chapter?**  
>  a. Angel in the dress  
> b. Alastor in pajamas  
> c. Vox in a suit  
> d. Pentious in a maid outfit


	16. Facing facts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alastor recovers, and Angel heeds words of wisdom from an unexpected source.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Sir Pentious, Alastor, Charlie Magne  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Vaggie, Niffty

Alastor didn't normally call upon Niffty to get him out of sticky situations.

But it wasn't because he thought his little darling incapable, oh no - quite the opposite, in fact! They were in the furnished-half of his private quarters; Alastor sat on the edge of a makeshift cot, while Niffty laid smuggled goods out beside him:

  * A set of 'meals' that consisted of contraband cuts of flesh, dripping rich with quelling _sustenance_ ;
  * a tin of 'cookies', a delightful snack of bones cleaved and hacked into oval _rondelles,_ ** _crucial_** for his antler;
  * and a stack of 'light' periodicals, for reading away the hours.



It was the latter of these which had caught the deer's notice. With an air of chagrin, he picked up the top-most edition, letting it fall open to reveal a spread featuring _his_ epithet beside Hell's most _'_ ** _wanted_** _'_ figure -

"Niffty ..."

* * *

"Sir ..."

A scandalous headline, accompanied by blurred photos - Niffty knew she was testing her master's patience.

* * *

Alastor glared down at his most trusted servant; she was privy to the comprehensive state of his most intimate affairs. Ranging from his morning coffee to the tailoring of his suits, and even his shoe-size (because it _had_ to be made custom!) - Niffty was **THE** certified expert in _all_ things concerning the Radio Demon -

"... I thought I told you to _**burn these**_."

 _\- including_ matters he'd rather she **not**.

* * *

"But ... the tabloids are just, _hilarious!"_

It was all so exciting! Even if it lacked the usual bits of juicy gossip dedicated to the "blossoming relationship" between spider and Radio Demon ...

Which was a pity, as there were _obviously_ feelings there! It was just too bad she couldn't say anything about it in front of either man, as the sudden shift in their dynamic wasn't the _only_ thing making her see big, red, **_heart_** -shaped flags -

Really, the fact that Alastor cared _at all_ made it her duty to preserve what she could, for his sake! Who cared if it just _happened_ to also help fuel her own beloved (if questionable) writing hobbies, which had certainly been finding inspiration as of late!

* * *

The deer sighed; for all that she was a valuable asset, Niffty was also _utterly shameless_.

"... I'm **_sure_**."

Letting the tabloid drop with an unimpressed flop, Alastor chose to treat himself to "cookies", distracting himself and his senses through the thick crunch of bone.

* * *

* * *

Angel didn't know the day or time. He just knew that it felt like the first time he'd been thrown out of Heaven, all over again -

**Oh, right - he'd purified Frankie. How could he forget.**

He noticed that he was in his room, and that Fat Nuggets was not there. And he listened to the sounds outside, coming up from downstairs. Was it Charlie? Vaggie? -

**'Oh, crap. What am I supposed to do?'  
**

And ... where was Alastor?

* * *

It was Sir Pentious. And he walked in holding a tray, balancing a simple bowl of soup and a spoon.

"It's about **time** you've finally got up, you know!" he said, placing the tray down and putting his hands on his hips. "You've certainly slept **enough** these past few days - all your meals have turned into cold leftovers and spoiled my minions **rotten** with excess!"

He also wore a rather fancy headpiece, covered with intricate lacing and frills. And there was a matching ensemble ... Which he made no mention of it as he continued to admonish the spider for his 'lazy' recovery.

* * *

Angel stared at the snake bringing him food.

"Pen? What are you ..."

But then the spider snapped himself out of the ridiculous situation. "Never mind -"

And he had to focus on more important matters. "- wait, how long have I been passed out? And the others? I bet they want to _kill_ me."

* * *

Pentious' forked tongue flicked out in distaste.

"You've been out for almost 4 days, **spiderman!** Her Highness has been managing the clients as if nothing's the matter, which there _is!_ Frankie is just _gone_ , and the 'radio' freak is all but missing! Though the small cyclops _has_ informed us he's been on his best behavior ..."

For a second, it seemed he was done. But then he continued. "Oh - and you're an actual celebrity now! The press is just _**dying** _for an interview! You know - I suspect the _reason_ I've been tasked with your recovery is because I _**really**_ couldn't **give a damn** -"

He held his chin up with haughty indifference as he crossed his arms, clearly dismayed with the state of things. " _Need_ anything?"

* * *

Angel sighed.

"I'd like a good reason to not throw myself off a fucking cliff."

The whole mess had come back to bite him. Of _course_ it did - it was how he had managed his entire life. Screw up, then screw up some more until everyone was so fucking pissed that he ended up getting beaten alone. Or _both_.

"... You all figured out what happened, right?"

**_'Of course she's gone. And she wasn't coming back.'_ **

"At least I didn't hurt her. She's gonna be **fine** ... I just wish I could say the same ..."

He felt his voice break - at least Frankie had offered herself willingly. Angel knew that some demons would want to try it, but it still felt like such an extreme decision. Almost like a second death ...

* * *

"It's a shame, **really**."

The serpent had a moment of silence. But it didn't last long before he was rolling his eyes.

"- really? Honestly, THAT's what you're going to do? **Mope** about it? How **_pathetic_** _!_ _"_

He grabbed a spoonful of soup and shoved it straight in the spider's mouth. "You and your little friends - Cherri, Alastor, _whomever!_ Your lot just **adores** having 'fun' at my expense! But I could care less - and do you _know_ why that is? It's because **unlike** you, I almost _**always**_ bounce back. Because I'm the **only** one who actually bothers to **learn** from my failures! All YOU do is fall apart and expect the world to pick up after your pieces, because feel you 'sorry' for yourself!"

* * *

Angel swallowed the soup and fell silent - was Pen really trying to make him feel better?

"Fuck, what am I supposed to do? What I was supposed to do?" he said, clutching his bedsheets, "I _wanted_ to come up with a way, but then everything flew out the window because of my fucking ex-boss ..."

He felt sick just thinking about Charlie's smile. It wasn't fair, but she would probably end forgiving him as always. _**'Cause that girl was just that fucking strong ...**_

"... I guess I owe everyone an apology, eh?"

And then later he could figure out what to do about his totally not-romantic failure. _After._

* * *

"Hmph! Well that's **one** way to go about it -"

The snake slithered around to the other side of the room, collecting several previously-used cooling rags for the wash.

"Your problem is, you keep _**hiding**_ behind excuses - you want to blame your ex-boss? Be my guest - but maybe consider that perhaps **you're** to blame, as well! I mean, just THINK about it -"

He moved to fluff-up Angel's pillow next: "A thing of the past should **stay** in the past. And if it keeps coming back to bite, then there HAS to be a reason. YOU are the one who keeps inviting it in - so why's that? Because there's **no** such thing as 'coincidence' - only cause and effect! **YOU** should be the only one who's in control!"

* * *

Angel listened to the words coming from the snake - just leave everything in the past and try to fix the present, right?

"I'm not sure if Alastor will appear out of nowhere like he always does, but maybe -"

It was incredible and just damn _surreal_ how the noisy, egocentric maniac could hand out wisdom whenever he wanted. And he had to try at least -

"Pen, can you call everyone and ask if they'll meet with me in Charlie's office?"

-.-.-.

Luckily, Vaggie found Alastor manifesting in one of the hotel's many corridors. She knew he couldn't be too far away - she could feel it in her _bones_. And at least she didn't have to bring him kicking and screaming; simply saying that Angel was awake and wanting to talk with them was enough (though she did have to repeat herself a couple of times).

Whatever they'd done, it had fueled the chaos from a few days ago. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know details.

* * *

Why did he have to be here? He didn't _**want**_ to be - ** _  
_**

Well, he _knew_ why - he'd _schemed_ , plain and simple. And while he _could_ have gone kicking and screaming, the fact was that he simply did not have the energy for it. His too-lean figure had a tendency to hinder his recovery; superficially, he could _seem_ fine. But the lack of 'cushioning' made it so that he was left aching and needing to rest more than he would have liked.

And of course, there was also the unspoken realisation that he was **not** to argue against "Vagatha". Or at least, not so soon after the princess had _personally_ knocked him out, for pushing one too many buttons in their last confrontation (yes, he **did** remember, and rather painfully, too).

 ** _But Angel was there_.** And Alastor wanted to look _everywhere_ but at him.

* * *

"Hi guys ..."

From his chair, Angel spoke: "I owe you a big explanation, right?"

* * *

Seated at her desk, Charlie shot downcast looks between her two troublemaker friends.

* * *

"... unless you wanna skip that and just punch me in the face right now?" he tried, jokingly.

* * *

Alastor's flinch went unnoticed, and Charlie sighed, unamused.

"... I **should.** But I won't. So go on - what **haven't** you been telling us?" Because she _needed_ an explanation.

* * *

Slowly, Angel inhaled and exhaled, knowing he had to say it for everyone's sake. "As everyone saw, purifying souls _is_ possible. But it is a bitch to do - besides doing it wrong, I wasn't supposed to feed on so much power."

Almost as much as he was avoiding looking in Alastor's direction, he tried not to look into Charlie's disapproving face.

"I almost returned to a demonic state. Maybe even something worse."

His halo appeared for a moment when the spider pointed just above his head. It was still circular, with new breaks in several places, in fragments that were seemingly held by nothing.

"I'm very aware that I wasn't thinking about what I was doing. If I'd just absorbed the energy gradually as I was supposed to, I would have been a lot more in control and probably suffered a lot less -"

"Why the fuck did you do something so risky, then?" Vaggie cut in, interrupting.

Why? Angel looked up at her: "Are you serious? If it were up to you, wouldn't you have done it? For Charlie?"

He knew she couldn't deny it - "And before you panic, the purified souls don't end up double-dead; they turn into energy. Feeding the living world a state of constant change, like the wind or sun -"

"That's out of the question ..." Vaggie grumbled, patience growing thin as Angel continued:

"- it sounds sappy as fuck, but the big guy didn't mess around when he made the world. Wanted everything to fit together like a puzzle."

* * *

With some suspicion, Charlie mulled over Angel's explanation before turning to Alastor next.

"That doesn't explain what happened with **you**."

The deer's ears twitched. She continued: "Why did you say those things? And _what you were doing by the **side of the road**?"_

He finally spoke, a bit irked as he tried to dodge his interrogation. "Well, you heard the man - you _**saw**_ what happened. I think that's _enough_ -"

"- okay, can you just like, _**stop**?"_

Charlie turned to Angel again, folding her hands across her lap as she finally addressed the elephant in the room.

"You two have been acting _**weird**_. I'm sorry if I misinterpreted - _**Angel**_."

It was subtle, but she **_did_** want to make up for her prior teasing. "-but just I can't have you two running around causing a commotion, or worse! And Al -"

She looked towards the radio demon next: "I know you have no interest in redemption. And I'm not going to force that on you until you've decided for yourself. But I **wish** you'd tell me things instead of hiding behind smiles pretending it's all a game - it's _not!"_

She actually looked upset as she addressed him: "I don't **need** a second 'Dad', I just - I want your _support_. You don't have to help - but at _least_ let me know what's going on -!"

Feeling a pang of remorse, Alastor's ears dipped low as he focused on his shoes throughout the rest of her rant - she was right. Not that he cared to admit it ...

* * *

"Alastor was only helping me!" Angel blurted, hurrying to the deer's defense. "Purification is tricky! And I needed practice - I was only counting on him to stop me if something went wrong. Until Valentino tried to attack us, and played dirty the only way he knew how ..."

He didn't want to go into detail. "... he humiliated me for the last time. Alastor only spared me the shame of the moment."

And he wasn't going to drag Alastor down with him - not anymore. "It was _not_ his fault."

* * *

Charlie turned back to Angel, her tone softening at his concern:

"- I'm glad you're safe. You have _**no idea**_ how proud of you I am but ... that goes **double** for you, too. _**N** **o one**_ needs to do my dirty work for me; not you, not him, not _anyone_. You **don't** get to go on one-man crusades just because _you_ don't want anyone else getting hurt. Because that's _not_ your decision to make when we're supposed to be in this _**together**_."

Feeling all worn out, she looked towards Vaggie. "Do you have anything to add? You're usually much better at lectures than I am ..."

* * *

"Charlie is right. It was not your obligation -" Vaggie started, before Angel cut her off.

"- no, it **was**. Ever since you brought me here to this hotel and forgave every time I screwed up. You didn't have to, but you still did -"

"Angel, we could have _all_ helped you. Charlie already explained, you are not alone in this! We can't **let** you do it again - not on your own. As much as you want to try and do good, others have to know so that you aren't wasting your time -"

"But I _wanted_ to do it. Even if I knew something was gonna go wrong. I ..."

"... your soul's important, too!" Vaggie snapped, firmly.

Angel was sure they would be sore if he spilled the whole truth. But it was now or never:

"... I talked to Lucifer, and apparently I'm the **only** creature in Hell that can pull off the shit you all saw. Between us, he could only **speculate** what could happen -"

* * *

Oh good. Charlie felt a wave of relief; they were _finally_ getting ready to wrap this up -

"- wait. You did WHAT -"

Ok forget all that, she was **angry** again!

* * *

Vaggie looked at Charlie. That was _definitely_ something to think about. That Angel had done something as desperate as getting information from Lucifer directly ... it was _risky_. And that the king had miraculously cooperated -

"- but I did it behind your back, and we've already established that we don't need to be doing that anymore." the spider finished.

* * *

Charlie pulled herself together - he'd apologised. And now it was _her_ turn to do the same.

"- I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you felt like you had to talk to him, just because _I_ wouldn't. Because you're right, I **wouldn't** have -"

* * *

"It doesn't matter, toots - I get not wanting to talk to your parents. I mean, your dad probably hates my guts, but I also think he wanted to help in his complete asshole way ... That's probably what stopped him from killing me on the spot ..."

"So we have to find a way to do this without risking you in the process - **if** we ever do it again." Vaggie concluded.

"Yes, but it's gonna be easier now! As long as I don't do anything too stupid.” Angel said, raising his hands in offering. He knew the process might not be to the princess' liking -

* * *

It was still _her_ royal screw-up. "I ... I guess I got blinded by my own emotions. Too. _Again -"_

And it left Charlie feeling like a hypocrite: "... I'm sorry that **you** had to be sorry for _me_ not being -"

Taking pity on the princess' flustered state, Alastor interjected:

"You **hit** me -"

"- **that** I am _not_ sorry about."

" ** _G͢ood_**."

Though his intent had been to distract her from her stumbling, Alastor also managed the distinct and unintended consequence of lifting Charlie's mood. As a result, he earned a grateful, if reluctant smile for his effort.

"... I guess that just leaves me to confront my dad, huh?"

* * *

Vaggie gazed at Charlie, knowing that was a decision for the near future. Now was still too soon ...

"We will see."

* * *

Charlie sighed; "Yeah, you're right."

Meanwhile, Alastor felt ... awkward, sitting here. He clearly wasn't needed anymore.

He'd done his part, pulled all the right strings to get them where they needed to be. And all that was left now was to put it all together.

* * *

"And who knows, maybe Charlie can redeem someone else and they'll be able to give us a hand ... Not like there's any way to stay up there for long with the way it is."

Sadly - and despite his optimism - Angel still couldn't bring himself to look in Alastor's direction for support.

**'I'll never be able to talk about those fucking movies ever again ...'**

* * *

There was nothing left for the deer to contribute.

"If you'll excuse me - I think I'll be taking my leave now."

He got up and left the office, careful to avoid acknowledging Angel as he passed him by -

**'Perhaps I should consider resigning …'**

* * *

Vaggie sighed at the pathetic scene that played out between Angel and Alastor. The two men were acting like a pair of kicked puppies around each other ...

"- what are you waiting for?" she said, pushing the spider out of his chair in a hurry.

"- what?" Angel had _clearly_ expected Alastor to go without saying a word to him.

But Vaggie was having none of their bullshit. "I have no idea what's going on between you two. But I'm sure he would not have done so much for so little. Whatever happened - go face him already!"

"Wait, no -" 

She continued to push him out of the office, "And promise me you will actually talk it out!"

"But -" She slammed the door, and Angel felt the words and her voice mix with Frankie's from memory:

**_'And promise me if anything awkward happens again you will face him and actually fucking talk to him!'_ **

Fuck ... **he had to** **.** Even if any chance he'd had left had been shattered to pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy holidays! 🎅🎄  
> (and see you next year~ ❄🦌)


	17. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> __  
>  **"If you want to start, an end must fall apart  
>  But if you hold on to me, hold on to my heart"**   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust

Really, the Radio Demon had no place to be.

He was walking around aimlessly, barely acknowledging the therapeutic workout he was unintentionally getting out of it. When he finally _did_ stop, it was at the end of an empty hall, where he gave a tired huff.

"You **know** you can stop following me." he addressed his 'newest' shadow, his ears pointed back towards it even as he refused to look in its direction.

* * *

Angel stopped in his place, noting the huge distance still between them. His mouth went dry when he tried to speak.

"... You saw all of that stuff, right?"

Stupid question, but it needed to be asked. And he needed some way to break the ice, regardless.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. I really wanted to forget I ever was there, I'm just ... I'm really sorry."

* * *

Alastor stared ahead, gaze and smile sharp.

"Why ... whatever for? I mean, you were _clearly_ being pushed against your agency! In fact -"

It was obvious they'd used the spider's own vices against him, turned his own body against him.

"... why didn't you tell me I was doing the same exact _' **thing** '_ to you?"

* * *

Angel had long since abandoned the notion that others might feel uncomfortable with the idea of viewing him in pornography. Friends, family - but Alastor?

"I was just pretty sure you freaked the fuck out seeing all that porn! Considering it's not a topic you seem fond of, much less coming from _**me**_."

* * *

"No! Well ... _yes_ , but that's _**not** _-! **"**

Alastor shuddered with disgust at the memory - the fur on his ears bristled as he smoothed back his hair, running it back and up against the base of an antler.

"... look. I may not _like_ it - but I can accept that you have a _" **history** "_. Much like you seem to tolerate me and my _**lack**_ of one -"

* * *

Was he referring to the nature of the movies, then?

This was far from Angel's expectations. "What do you mean? You didn't do anything wrong -"

* * *

The deer turned his head to the side, as if trying to get away from his own thoughts. "I've been ... taking _advantage_."

The spider was still infatuated with him. Loveless idiot or not, Alastor could appreciate the camaraderie, though there were moments in which he'd succumbed to ambition ...

"The meetings turned into convenient excuses, that I may have ... pushed limits. Overstepped boundaries -"

* * *

"... is that what you think?" Not _Alastor_.

"- I would have fought you off if you'd tried to force me into anything. Even if you are stronger ..."

* * *

His eyes glanced back just far enough to catch the spider's silhouette in his periphery. He bit back a swear - had the idiot _really_ said that mere days after taking out an overlord?

"- why are you letting me "use" you? You heard Charlie - it's all just a **_game_** to me. You don't even know what I want - **I** don't even know what I want! How would you even begin to fight that?"

Because a few, fleeting sensations that left him dizzy and overwhelmed in the chest were at best a beautiful distraction. At worst, they could be used **_against_** them -

* * *

Feeling offended now, Angel protested.

"I didn't feel used!'' He wasn't that stupid! "I just liked being with you! Every time I did something it was because I felt like doing it - it was nice, feeling like we were getting along. I used to feel repulsed with myself because of my past, but you didn't care. That's why I panicked and killed that motherfucker. He ruined my chance to forget all about that, to be around you without having you run away!"

* * *

Alastor didn't know what to say to that.

"... I _like_ being with you, too." Might as well be honest about that part. "... I suppose I find your company _refreshing!_ And -" He gripped his staff, and adjusted his weight on it as he tackled a different set of concerns: "... I appreciate how you _didn't_ jump to conclusions, I ... I know how it might have looked. But I want assure you that I _**did not**_ request any of those materials! _**They**_ came to **_me_** , unsolicited and unmarked! There was no message, I could only _presume_ it had to have come from your former employer, because who _else_ would have that sort of access, and -"

He felt his temper rising as he rambled; the mere implication of such violation! "- **damn it** , I want to set it ablaze! That he dared to _desecrate_ my domain with his _**filth**!_ And now I can't go back, and I _can't_ just burn down my radio station ..."

He gave a dry laugh, tinged with regret. " ** _I'm_** sorry I ever opened that box ... we could have picked out a song by now ..."

* * *

"You still ... wanna do that?" Angel practically whispered.

It was small, but it was something. Because it would be impossible go back and pretend that _nothing_ had happened.

* * *

He looked away, embarrassed by the involuntary admission.

"Yes ... I ..."

Did Alastor truly enjoy this pretense of courtship? It would never - it was highly unlikely that it would ever lead to anything more than subtle flirtations and euphemisms in place of acts. And there was always the possibility that he was being disingenuous, merely being led astray by his stag's whim ...

* * *

"If you want ... I can go back and burn all that crap outside your station. Including the notes from Val and Vox." he pointed out. "Would that help? It could even be therapeutic."

* * *

Alastor felt _touched_.

"You would do that for me? I mean - _no_ , I can't let you go by yourself! You're **not** my maid!" - wait. There had been a note?

_:: ... did you just ͠say͢ **̕Vox**? ::  
_

Whatever tenderness he'd possessed in that moment was gone, replaced by harsh and feral tones.

* * *

"You didn't see it? It said 'Val and Vox' ..."

Angel knew Alastor loathed the TV demon. "I mean, it's not strange to think they worked together on .... Are you fine?"

 **Uh-oh, he is pissed**! He wasn't sure if he could calm down the Radio Demon - **at least it's not with me.**

"- I can go, it's no problem! I will do it with pleasure!"

* * *

Seeing Angel's reaction, Alastor forced himself to take a deep breath - a raging fit would benefit no one, least of all him.

"... no, I didn't see much of anything **_else_** once I realised ' **what** ' I had been sent. And yes, I'm aware - _still_. It's hard to believe that he would actually **stoop** to that level -!"

It was too much to process right now; he would have to do something about it. "- it makes things **_complicated_** , to say the least. But that's not important right now - I shouldn't be burdening you with my overlord business -"

He leaned against the wall to collect his train of thought.

* * *

"Hey, it's okay. I fucked up Valentino 'cause he was my biggest nightmare. And If you need a hand I can help you make Vox sweat."

Angel smiled. "But only if you want - I didn't forget about your shadow friends giving me a hand, that was just too much of a coincidence."

* * *

With a snort, Alastor lowered his long dark lashes at Angel, mischievously:

"I wasn't trying to help _you_ , you know; I was just getting even for my antle-you know what? _Nevermind!_ **-** "

Angel didn't **_have_** to know how instinctual panic had run him into the wall like an idiot. More importantly - what the spider was proposing was dangerous. Despite his meek cowardice, Vox was a more powerful overlord than Valentino had ever been. Taking care of him would _**have**_ to be a delicate operation -

"... I've never hired a professional before, you know. _Usually_ I prefer to take care of it myself ..."

The radio demon's signature grin graced his features, as he sheepishly returned Angel's smile. "... but I _suppose_ I wouldn't mind collaborating again."

He held out his hand in offer.

* * *

The horrible knot in Angel's stomach finally faded, and he shook Alastor's hand happily.

"I will pass along my price list, suffering costs extra. So ... how about I go and clean your place later?"

Feeling better, he even decided to make a joke. "I can even redecorate if that makes you feel better - I was thinking pink curtains, and some flowerpots."

* * *

Alastor shook his head with a low chuckle

" _This_ is why I can't let you go alone! I ..."

These were different circumstances now. He told himself to relax, forcing himself not to pull away. _Not yet._

"... let's get there earlier in the evening. It would leave us enough time to -"

 _Collect his nerves, think about how he would next proceed. **Clean up**. _"... **resume** where we left off. Last time. Before we were _rudely_ interrupted ..?"

He gave Angel's hand a questioning squeeze; they'd already burned one bridge. Why bother looking back?

* * *

"Sounds good to me! See you later then - thanks Al!"

Feeling his humor come back to him completely, the spider left the deer. Things were not excellent ... But the deer wanted to spend time with him again, even after the whole mess.

Recovering his beloved (and carefully-guarded) pig from Vaggie, Angel went to calm himself down in his room for a little while. Miraculously, his phone had been recovered, and was siting on his nightstand, with million of messages waiting to be read, from Cherri and _several_ others. It was hard to believe there were so many demons worried for him.

"Can you believe it, Nugs? We are so lucky!" he said, feeling a certain euphoria as he scratched his pig's head in affection. To know that he was wanted even after all of his screw-ups ...

> **[do you have any idea how busy I am now?! 💣💣 turfs are a mess, demons run like headless chickens! if i wasnt so proud of you for killing that fucker, i would punch you! 😝❤️❤️-CherriBomb]**
> 
> **[fuck yeah im still kicking bitch!! 😎💥💗-AngelDust]**

* * *

* * *

Once evening hours began, The Radio Demon waited at his station. But he was not in the broadcasting room - instead, he was outside, near the building's entrance. Every so often he looked towards the sky, hoping to catch a glimpse of Angel Dust ... **_before_** he tried entering in through the window, as their habit had become.

On the ground beside him, there sat a can of gasoline, cheery and red.

* * *

Angel flew over the radio station when he spotted Alastor outside, and landed softly by his side.

"Ready for the barbecue?" he teased.

* * *

Alastor smiled gratefully towards his partner-in-arson; "I was actually more in the mood for a _flamboie_ , but I suppose dessert will just have to _**wai͞t̕**_ ~"

He bent down to pick up the can and then led them inside, going over his plan as they stepped into the elevator:

"- obviously, **_some_** of my actual equipment is quite flammable. So we can't just prop a window open ... There'll be a big trash bin in one of the janitor closets; I was thinking we just throw everything inside and then roll it out before we set it alight! But we'll have to bring it up to the rooftop, you see ... I reckon it's a shorter trip than taking it back down to the ground floor again. And not to **_mention_** the view ..."

They reached the station floor. Alastor steeled himself as he stepped out of the elevator.

"I'll go as far as getting what you need out of the closet. But I'd like to wait in the hall until you've cleared everything out. I don't think you'll want me seeing you like that again ..."

He stopped talking, realising a certain irony in his words. Not wanting to make it anymore awkward than it had to be, he sought out their bin and left it to Angel to take care of the rest.

"Here - let me know if you need anything else."

* * *

"Thank you, _smiles_ ~. I'm gonna be fine by myself." It was hard for Angel not to feel a bit moved by that.

The spider took the bin and got his hands to work. He ripped pictures until they were confetti, and grabbed all of the reels and the remains of the original package. It took a matter of minutes, but he felt surprisingly at peace throughout.

When he was done, he followed Alastor to the roof to burn everything.

* * *

The recent nightmare went up in flames, and Alastor felt like he was put at ease. _Finally_.

As he tossed aside the empty can of gasoline, he looked towards Angel's face. "Thank you ... though I suppose you're just as glad to be getting rid of this as I am, all things considered. Is it ... just because of the 'subject'? Or do you feel this way about _' **other** '_ old works, too?"

It was something he now wondered - Angel had often professed his enjoyment for sex acts in the past. Had made a lustful career out of it, too.

And it certainly wasn't a topic Alastor **_ever_** discussed often with the ex-porn star, considering his own visceral disinterest. But ...

* * *

"I have no desire to go and do this to my whole career, Al. It would take the rest of my fucking afterlife, anyway."

* * *

"Ah, of course not! I just meant, with Valentino _gone_ **-"**

The deer clarified. "I'm not ... ashamed of you, if that's what you are thinking."

* * *

Angel looked at the fire, trying to form a better answer. "... I never wanted to eat someone's guts in front of anyone. But drugs make it real easy to not give a fuck. The moment this was made, the way it made me feel and _worse_ ; the way Val used it against you and me ..."

He then looked at Alastor's face. "... I would gladly erase the existence of it from my mind."

* * *

Meeting Angel's gaze, Alastor thought how perhaps it would have been better not to have brought up the topic at all.

* * *

"I learned not to be ashamed of my sexuality or my body. But biting demons' throats off out of nowhere made me feel like a total freak. Maybe it's a bit odd, considering that we are in Hell and most of the population has seen me naked ... But I couldn't help it -"

It was the lack of _consent._ "It has _nothing_ to do with any moment I spent here with you."

The radio demon's shows had been a willing experience, and Angel needed him to know that.

* * *

"... I see."

He briefly considered taking Angel's hand in acknowledgement. But he didn't want to push his luck so soon following such an intimate revelation.

 ** _It's probably too forward, anyway_**. And could be interpreted far too romantically for Alastor's taste, who was still toying with the mere idea of relationships. _Tactless_ , really -

"... I suppose I was just worrying about something you already took care of a long time ago."

* * *

Angel felt a huge sense relief at Alastor's words. It was even nice to hear that he had been a bit worried, too.

"Good to know we are on the same page for once."

And after talking about it more openly, he didn't feel so bad, either.

"I'm retired for good, now. And I don't mind the reputation, but ..."

Bouncing a bit, he followed after Alastor. "... I think I'd prefer to focus on what we can do right now. Like music!"

It was all thanks to his recent rabbit friend and the radio demon himself, that it was becoming easier to reconcile the strange and all-too easy attachment he felt whenever he was around the deer.

* * *

Well, at least he didn't _need_ to hold hands to enjoy Angel's company. Or to lead them back downstairs, for that matter:

"Well, come along then! Let's admire your handiwork and then discuss genres!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. HAPPY NEW YEAR yeah it's late w/e STILL FIRST DAY OF NEW YEAR IN MY TIMEZONE
> 
> 2\. summary lyrics: [Alvarez Kings - Sleepwalking, Pt. II](https://youtu.be/48aV9iwUc6c?t=135)  
> -ornithia


	18. 🎵🎨 Dancing cheek to cheek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I'd love to climb a mountain  
> And reach the highest peak;  
> But it doesn't thrill me half as much  
> As dancing cheek to cheek  
> [...]  
> Dance with me! I want my arm about you -  
> The charm about you,  
> Will carry me through (to)
> 
> Heaven ... I'm in Heaven ...  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast:
> 
> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust

There were few things Alastor treasured as highly as his music collection. Mainly consisting of numbers he recalled from his former life, it was a strange yet comforting assortment of familiar tracks interspersed with posthumous discoveries, which had either outlived him or were exclusive to Hell -

"... you know, I'm still not sure what to think about this "electro-swing". It's got all the right sounds, but there's just _something_ off-beat about it ..."

* * *

_**It had its charm, no doubt**. _"People have a thing for taking something from the past and bringing it back for their time." the spider observed. But by this point Angel knew how way too-attached Alastor was to the older era. "I've found out lots of times that songs I've heard before were way older than I thought."

And indeed, the radio demon had a huge collection of records. It would have been a bit overwhelming, if its curator hadn't seemed so delighted to help.

* * *

" ** _M_ _odern_** music _, you mean~_ "

The deer rolled his eyes - it was a hurdle he didn't particularly care to clear ...

_But enough about that -_ "I think it would be best not to deviate -" They needed to **focus**. "- Mimzy has a _very_ particular theme to her bar, you know. And while I don't think she'd be upset if you strayed from it, she does tend get a bit ..."

Alastor's grin gleamed, suddenly wicked, "- _" **fiendish** ", should we say?_ And she's rather protective of its image - in fact, It's one of the _many_ reasons she's resisted Valentino's influence for so long. A blessing _and_ a curse, if you ask me, ha-ha!"

* * *

"Good for her! I respect not letting any fucker stomp all over you -"

Evidently, Angel concluded that he and Alastor had probably not been far apart in years, back in their human lives. "It's a good thing I have you - 'cause listening to these is bringing back memories, but they're foggy, at best."

* * *

"Is that so?" Exchanging another record, Alastor started up a new track, its sound filling the room with a light and playful jazz-tune.

"Perhaps if we narrowed it down to a style, first. And _then_ it would be easier to decide on something much more specific ... how does that sound to you?"

* * *

Angel got himself comfortable. "Bring it on!"

They listened to several songs, and the spider tried to keep a mental list of which ones he had found the most appealing:

&;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;nbsp;

And they all really were a ticket down memory lane, even if many were now predictably sung by different artists. Some reminded of when he was little and the radio would play in the background of his home, while others were relatively fresher, picked up during the last of his years spent in the living world.

* * *

They were _classics_ , of course. Alastor kept watch on Angel's face for the most part, enjoying how it would light up with recognition each time. On the last track, he could barely resist himself from nearly jumping out of his own seat, wanting nothing than to take to the floor and dance along to the beat. Wearing a huge grin, he tapped his claws on the table instead, bouncing one leg upon the knee of the other -

In fact, he got so caught up in the sound that he nearly forgot about _why_ they were here, listening to any of this at all.

"- oh, that's _right!_ You need to tell me if you've made a decision yet, Angel! This is going to be **_your_** performance, after all, so it has to pair with what _you're_ in the mood for!"

* * *

Angel reclined, trying to think. "I'm not sure, yet. It's hard to choose ... I do like _Dream A Little Dream Of Me_ -"

He was satisfied with most of what they'd listened to so far. But Alastor's opinion was just as important, of course. _He_ was the reason Angel was going to be able to perform again, after all.

"What do you think? I bet it will make everyone more than happy."

* * *

When the sounds of music finally faded, Alastor stood to put the record away, then sat back down in thought:

"Well ... if you really _do_ like it, then I don't see why not! Always go with your gut feeling! As for what _I_ think -"

He hummed a little, before quoting the song in question, complete with his radio tin taking on the characteristic fuzz of the the record player's turntable:

"- I'm thinking that _"I'm longin' to linger_ _til dawn"_ , here at the station - but **_you_** should probably be returning to the hotel long before then. Don't you think?~"

* * *

Angel chuckled a bit. "If you think it suits me, then I'll totally take it."

He swore the deer felt very calm; it was such a nice moment. And then Alastor caught him off guard with his bad joke, as he always did.

"Can you also maybe help me brush up on my "old" dance skills? I think I might have gotten biased towards more modern styles, now ..."

He really could use some practice - his past few decades in Hell had been spent pole dancing, and that _definitely_ wasn't going to work out.

* * *

_Dance_ _?_ Alastor felt the slightest prick of anxiety spark through him; he _loved_ dancing! But -

"Well, let's see - this is _Mimzy's_ we're talking about! And you'll be a new face, so she'll want to get up-close and personal. She likes to 'know' her crowd, you see ..."

They were going to need _time_. "... perhaps I could give you lessons over the next few evenings? Just enough to get you _presentable!_ In fact -"

Standing up, he held a hand out towards the spider: "- let's go over the basics right now! _Every_ good dance is only as good as its foundation - and it'll give you something to practice in your spare time!"

* * *

Maybe he was a bit nervous, because the idea made him feel extremely warm in the chest. But he couldn't refuse a dance with Alastor -

"You are the best, _smiles_." he said, as he got up and took the deer's hand.

* * *

"Far from it, actually!" the demon retorted, throwing his head back with a scoff as he led them towards the most spacious part of the room.

Taking his place before Angel, Alastor tried _not_ to think about the number of limbs he would have to accommodate, nor the height difference that would surely impact their lessons down the line.

\--

Over the next two days, they continued on with their afterlives during the day, helping Charlie at the hotel. Only to meet afterward in the evenings, to focus on their footwork and the different kinds of steps they'd have to move and transition between. By their third meeting they'd even started dancing as a pair -

"It'll be easier for you to switch between roles if you know what to _expect_ -"

It was only natural that Angel take the lead. It would be expected of him, because he was so tall - and Alastor reasoned it would give him a more intuitive grasp on the dance floor, if he knew _what_ the role entailed. Of course, this left the radio demon clinging to him, in a passive fashion that he was not so normally accustomed to. Even as he continued to guide the spider through verbal instruction:

"Once you've got the hang of it, _this_ part will be a breeze! All I have to do is just follow along - see? My, you're _already_ doing wonderfully for the both of us!" he explained, as they performed a simple swing together.

* * *

Angel had failed several times already. But Alastor was a very patient teacher - every day became a bit easier, which made Angel look forward to each dance lesson. 

Except for the part where Charlie and Vaggie knew about it, and it made him sweat buckets - **_what he was supposed to say to them?_** Because even he didn't know if he was supposed to 'do' something about Alastor. Fearing that the deer demon might pull away from him again, he'd put a stop to anything on his part that might come across as too flirty -

Maybe it was their joined hands making him feel uncertain about what game they were playing together - if there was even a game at all, of course.

* * *

Tilting his head, Alastor gazed up at his dancing partner with mild curiosity:

_... he must **really** be concentrating. Maybe it's the arms ..._

"... I know there's not much to hold onto, but you _can_ always just put your extra hands on my waist if you need to. Or arms. Or shoulders - of course, you _could_ always do something much more creative, as well. Like jazz-hands, HA!"

Once the music stopped, Alastor kept one set of fingers laced with Angel's, while the other flipped through a set of vinyls, trying to decide what the next track would be.

"... You seem quiet. Something on your mind?"

Could it be nerves for his upcoming performance? Alastor still hadn't made their reservations - he didn't _need_ to. But there was also talking with Mimzy, and how he _still_ hadn't mentioned the "new" talent he'd be bringing on her stage ...

* * *

"Me? I'm fine, don't worry. Just thinking nonsense ..."

That wasn't _even_ mentioning _Sir **Pentious**_ , who now seemed determined to make conversations with _Alastor_.

Angel decided to steer towards the subject. "I just can't believe Pentious is still at the hotel - have you noticed how friendly he's been? Especially his weird chats ..."

The spider could understand if the snake simply felt comfortable there. But it was his new hobby of playing 20 questions with the radio demon that was odd - they were supposed to loathe each other.

_Just what is he trying to do?_ ...

* * *

"Pentious? _**That's**_ what's got you all bothered?"

Alastor adjusted his bow tie with his free hand, loosening his collar quite a bit - sure, the snake was annoying. But he was hardly a threat, as Alastor had demonstrated on multiple occasions. His daily "interrogations" were certainly a strange and new development to their "working" relationship. But one did have to consider just where it was coming from ...

"If I know him, and I _don't_ , he's probably plotting another "revenge" scheme against me. You'd think he'd learn after the first few thrashings, but perhaps he's just a masochistic sport!"

All-in-all, the deer had chosen to dismiss it all as a symptom of boredom and a near-suicidal need to tempt fate. There was _no_ reason for the snake to remain at the hotel. Not unless he was seeking redemption, which Alastor _highly_ doubted - _ah._

To take Angel's mind off the matter and back onto _them_ , the radio demon decided to re-adjust their lesson plan -"Why don't we change things up a bit - do you think you can lead us in a foxtrot?"

He snapped his fingers, and the new track started, a rolling motif that swelled into a dark and melodious spell. As it filled the space, Alastor readied their hands again, but this time he put his free hand on Angel's shoulder and took a step nearer, closing the space between them. Giving Angel's shin a light kick, he explained:

"I want to see how closely you can follow the sound - it's going to get quite fast, so we'll need to stick close. Or else we'll lose our footing!"

* * *

Angel forgot all about his thoughts in the fast rhythm, and followed the music as best as he could. Trying not to tangle his long legs with Alastor's was enough of a distraction - it was hard not to smile when he was having fun with Alastor.

Deep inside, he knew he was getting up to his neck in feelings. Sappy and unwanted and how _nice_ ... Just staying like this, without ulterior motive or intention -

* * *

It was only for a while, but Alastor was having the time of his not-life. He didn't expect Angel to do as well as he currently was - the intention had never been to actually complete the dance but to creatively channel the spider's frustration into confidence.

And for this own amusement, the deer had approached the challenge of the increasing tempo with playful little kicks - back, around, and to the sides in the style of a flapper; who'd have known it'd be this fun to let someone else lead for once! Wrapped in the pleasure of their hypnotic sway, nothing but the pure thrill of dance coursed through him. Until suddenly he felt Angel stumble, that is -

* * *

"Ugh!"

_Embarrassing!_ Angel lost his step in a too-sudden spin, and found himself flailing as he stumbled backwards, towards the furniture -

* * *

On reflex, Alastor jerked Angel back towards himself - but _failed_ to compensate for the spider's proportions.

He tugged just a bit too hard, a maneuver that would normally transition momentum into a lift with a smaller, lighter partner ... And they ended up stumbling in the opposite direction, instead. Alastor hit an edge, instantly crumpling over it with a cry as his spine snapped and sent him backwards, felled flat against a surface -

"HA, _**Angel**!_ That was, _ow!_ Are you -!"

He was still holding Angel's hands ... so they hadn't lost any teeth, at least. But then it dawned on him - it would mean, then, that the only thing holding up their bodies was ...

_Oh no_.

* * *

A blink, and the messy fall was over in a matter of seconds. Inwardly, Angel _panicked_ when he realized their position.

* * *

There was Alastor, currently pressed against his own "dissection" table. And there was Angel, practically laying on top of him. Spurred on by the accelerating condition of their hearts, their breaths hitched as one. And the radio demon shuddered in horror, feeling the thrum of the spider's long torso against him -

" _I, uh_ \- you were, _**hahaha** ...!"_

One of his legs twitched on reflex, seeking a means of escape. Except it was trapped, so he felt it slide up and against the inside of a _ridiculously_ smooth thigh, instead ...

* * *

Angel hissed when he felt the pressure on the inside of his thigh, and turned completely red beneath his fur.

In a raised voice that was _more_ than necessary, he pulled away, practically jumping; "My bad, sorry!"

* * *

Alastor **immediately** stomped his foot back down, forcing his knees together inoffensively and avoiding eye-contact as he bore a mortified stare off to the side - _don't move_ ** _anything_**. 

"I-It's **_perfectly alright_** _!_ Fine, even! It happens, _wouldn't be the first time_ -!"

His grin was stretched so wide that it had numbed his face, and he could scarcely feel his own lips as they formed words. Surely, he'd gone as red as his suit, if not _redder_ -

And he remained frozen in place for the split second after Angel's weight disappeared, arms still up as if supporting an invisible partner. It wasn't until his senses came back to him that his hands finally flew to the edges of the table, leaving marks as managed to pull himself up with audible effort.

"You d-did well, all things considered! Even I learned something - that there's a _reason_ it's usually the "man's" role that does the catching, and not the other way around, _**h** **a**!_ Ha-ha ..."

_Why did he feel like he was making this even more awkward with each word that came out of his mouth?_ _He needed a way to recollect his wits ...  
_

"I ... I think that's enough of a lesson for tonight, don't you? In fact, with that display you'll probably be ready for _Mimzy's_ any day now! Just ... practice your dress! I mean song! _Performance!_ Why - is it just me or does it smell like something is _burning_ -"

Legs feeling like jelly beneath him, the radio demon practically threw himself at the record player as he desperately busied himself with its buttons (it didn't _have_ any). Its dizzying melody continued to play through his rambling:

"- oh, don't you worry about a _thing_ , I'll take care of it myself! You just go on ahead and get yourself back to that hotel ..!"

* * *

Angel knew he answered something _-_ he just couldn't remember _what_. Besides just nodding, and managing some sort of goodbye as he made his exit through the window.

He also knew that he'd been screaming internally, all the way back to the Hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. late bc work was busy this week ahhh
> 
> 2\. title and summary lyrics suggested by Nekokolove this time, and come from Cheek to Cheek [[here's the fun Fred Astaire film version]](https://youtu.be/OR-Hv16ReV8)
> 
> 3\. JUST IN CASE embedding isn't working, here are the featured songs this chapter:  
> [[browsed songs]](https://soundcloud.com/ornithia/sets/ch-18-fallen-angel-radiodust/s-CCVHEx0ALz6)  
> [Edith Piaf - La Foule](https://soundcloud.com/tut-amr-amoun/edith-piaf-la-foule)
> 
> 3\. chapters with extra content will be updated with emojis for easy navigation if anyone is looking for those specifically (a key will be added to the fic description shortly)
> 
> 4\. and finally, [an illustration from me, hhhhhopefully this makes up for the wait: ](https://twitter.com/ornithia_tsen/status/1348183855820201985)
> 
> [ ](https://twitter.com/ornithia_tsen/status/1348183855820201985)
> 
> \- ornithia 


	19. 🎵🎨 Dream a little dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharing a night in Heaven with an angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Sir Pentious, Vox  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Niffty, Vaggie, Velvet, Mimzy

After that singular night's "incident", the days that followed passed without further entanglement. Neither man addressed the blunder, nor the event for which it had been intended. Except to confirm that Alastor had at _last_ spoken with Mimzy, and that Angel's latest debut now had a set date on the calendar.

It left the deer with lots of time to ponder - just _what_ was his angle these days? Did redeeming sinners even matter at this point, when Heaven had seen it fit to reject their _only_ success? Even his efforts to inspire redemption through spite seemed pointless, now that every news outlet was covering the entire fiasco with Valentino. _Especially_ the part about the _'rogue exterminator' ..._ which at least served to deter the usual 'candymen' and peddlers that liked to set up shop near the Hotel, patrolling just a tempting distance away.

Not that Alastor minded any of that - so long as he and the spider were on amicable terms. He _liked_ being friends ...

Which reminded him - there was also a growing rapport with Pentious to consider. Angel had voiced his concerns regarding the interaction, and Alastor still couldn't fathom _why_. After all, it wasn't as if the snake _hadn't_ made it a public habit to seek overlords for their approval. Most of his colleagues ignored the scaly nuisance - except for Rosie, who found him _delightful_ for all the wrong reasons (as she did _everyone_ , radio demon included). But considering the serpent's most recent petition had been _Vox_ prior to his stay at the hotel ...

Who cared, if a lesser demon wished to discuss fashion tastes which were downright **_criminal_** _?_ Not Alastor! In fact, he was more than happy to engage this "supervillain" in his nonsensical ramblings, if it meant he could sully his rival's name in the process -

* * *

"Alastor, sir! I have something for you!"

Calling for the deer's attention, Niffty carried over a garment bag with a fancy new suit inside.

* * *

Of _course_ it was Niffty who broke him out of his thoughts.

"Yes, my little darling? You have something for me - _oh!"_

As he took the item, he couldn't help going speechless. He didn't recall having asked for a new suit - in fact, he hadn't requested one in several decades now!

* * *

She had put a lot of effort into it; Rosie's work on Angel's outfit had been flawless, so it was important that Niffty had done everything on her part to try and match the woman's level of skill.

"I think you will look great in it! Mister Pen even helped - he had Frankie's old sketches!"

It was a meaningful gesture, that also doubled as a tribute _._ All in all, the suit had come out feeling _very_ personal as a result. _  
_

* * *

He was looking over it, admiring its quality, when Niffty's words suddenly triggered a realisation -

"I KNEW it - _**I mean**_ , _thank you_ , my dear!! Why - I just _adore_ the attention to detail!! I'll be sure to try it on in just a moment, but first -"

In a split second he was outside the hotel and inside Pentious' ship, _seething_.

_:: YOU KNOW, I **KNEW** THERE WAS A REASON FOR YOUR STRANGE BEHAVIOR - I JUST DIDN'T THINK THE **RABBIT** HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!! YOU ARE GOING TO TELL ME - ::_

"Oh, so you **finally** figured it out, _did you?_ NOW who's the genius, ahaHAHAHA- _ACK!_ \- HAH. YOU KNOW. **FRANKIE** MENTIONED YOU MIGHT GET LIKE TH- _EEEK!_ "

Sir Pentious was abruptly picked up off the ground by Alastor's shadow entities. And then the overlord's fingers began to curl, and the Victorian serpent found himself writhing beneath their tightening grip -

:: **WHAT ELSE. DID SHE** \- ::

He screamed: "I 'SMELLED' IT, YOU STUPID UNGULATE. **_She_ **didn't have to say **ANYTHING** \- YOU PRACTICALLY WENT INTO _**HEAT**_ IN THE KITCHEN THAT DA- **OAOAHHHH -** "

Eggbois crowded around the Radio Demon's feet, desperately trying to get him to release their beloved master. One brave eggboi in particular even pleaded directly with him, waving what appeared to be a pad of sorts at him in an attempt to negotiate:

_"Please_ , mister Radio, sir!! If you'd just take a minute to look - there's _pictures!!"_

Against his better judgement, Alastor eventually indulged the hysterical clutch, and let his captive drop with an unceremonious _thud_ as he snatched the pad away, flipping through its pages. And there he saw it -

"I'm TRYING. To **HELP** YOU. You _IMBECILE_."

A series of rough sketches clearly outlined the details of his new suit, held neatly folded over his arm. Alastor bristled, thrusting the pad back to the nearest eggboi as he addressed the hissing mass on the ground. "And what can **you** _possibly_ help me with?"

There was a quiet chuckle ... which escalated into an all-out cackle as the demon cobra re-emerged, rising from the ground, his hood spread like metaphorical wings on a phoenix.

"Why don't you try that new outfit **on** , _first!_ Don't worry, I won't look - I prefer a little more **meat** on my quarry, _if you catch my drift ~_ "

_" **I will kil̷l̶͢͟ you**."_

Pentious spat. "FINE, _**be** like that!_ You're just **lucky** I happen to be a fan of _'pining romance'_ between _**idiots**!_ I would HARDLY be putting up with this nonsense if it were anything else, you know! Now SIT, have some **_tea_** -"

With a snarl, Alastor reluctantly took a seat and crossed his legs. The gesture wasn't so much defensive as it was to keep him from _eviscerating_ his host -

"- we have **much** to discuss! _Don't_ we, " _ **Alice" ~!?** "_

Of course, that didn't mean he had to _behave_. Without warning, he unleashed his tendrils on Pentious for a _second_ round, leaning back with a sigh as the eggbois cried out in horror.

* * *

* * *

"So, tonight is your date?" Vaggie asked, while Angel saved away the remains of lunch.

"Funny! It's not a date, and you should know that!"

She smiled teasingly. "You are gonna put on a fancy dress, he is gonna take you out to dance and sing, and you are gonna enter and leave the place together."

"He is just doing something nice for me, is that so hard to believe?" Angel asked, wishing he was wrong.

"Yes, it is - Alastor doing something genuinely nice **just** 'because'?"

"…"

"Sounds like a date to me."

-.-.-.-

The hour came, and Angel was fighting between his nerves and feeling ecstatic. He was going to perform again! One of the things he most loved to do! And Alastor would be there, supporting him ...

As he dressed and did his makeup, he felt the luxurious fabric that surrounded his body, and the tickle of his blond wig as it fell like a waterfall over his shoulders.

**_I'm going to impress every soul in that place!_ **

* * *

Following his "brief" interrogation, Alastor returned to the hotel, to pick up where he'd left off with Niffty. She was _thrilled_ , of course - that alone was worth swallowing his pride for. He allowed her to make her last minute adjustments while talking his ear off, fawning over how _good_ he and Angel were supposedly going to look together. Not that they _were_ together - he was simply a _chaperone_.

When she was done, the deer was left all dressed up with nowhere to go. Seeing how it was near time, anyway, and wandering the halls wouldn't do for such a short interval, he found himself manifesting before the spider's door.

"Angel, I do hope you've at least _started_ putting yourself together!" he announced himself, knocking lightly against the varnished wood.

* * *

Angel Dust opened the door. And did _not_ count on the Radio Demon looking so damn handsome in a new ensemble.

"Looking good, Alastor ..." was the only thing he could say, needing a hot minute to recover from what felt like a _low_ blow.

* * *

The demon could only sneer, grin wide as he fidgeted with his cuffs.

"I look _ridiculous_ \- but you? You're hardly the same creature anymore!"

Alastor hadn't actually seen the dress yet - he'd only helped in its "design" by picking out the displays which Angel had pointed to during their brief tour at Rosie's. The rest had been handled by the crafty overlordess herself, who had in fact **_outdone_** herself. Alastor knew this meant Rosie _must_ have been hoping to recruit the spider into her schemes, an attempt to _tempt_ through material means ...

"Well then ... shall we be off?"

Phasing them through the shadows, Alastor found himself growing increasingly appreciative of Angel's "transformation". It was still the same _person_ ... but something about the way he now carried himself helped the radio demon separate Angel - the man whom he was becoming increasingly involved with - from the feminine figure currently hooked to him by the arm. Who was a bit like a familiar stranger, comforting without feeling overwhelmingly personal -

He ignored the stares they got they reached their destination - of _course_ he had to escort Angel! He - _she?_ Tonight's _**act** -_ had to be formally presented to _Mimzy!_

Once inside the premises, they disappeared side by side as Alastor led them towards the backrooms, to their hostess. He only hoped she would be as pleased with the spider as he was - and even **_more_** -so, if possible.

* * *

Mimzy’s place was lovely. And Angel was relieved to find that his act would suit its theme just fine. The demoness was a small lady, all-too eager to meet him and ask for the details of his performance. It was obvious that she had doubts, though the more they talked the more they seemed to go away.

And at the very least, her lingering gaze on Alastor showed that she trusted the Radio Demon's judgement. Even with his reputation ...

The hostess seemed to have more questions, which were solely meant for the deer. Not wanting to interfere, Angel left the two demons to go and prepare.

"He seems to have everything he needs for a great show, Aly,” Mimzy began, when their angelic company had gone. "But I’m still trying to understand why YOU brought him - all of Hell is scared to double-death because of him! And you simply go on and invite him out on a date? Not that I’m not pleased to let him in here for you, but - wouldn't you care to explain a bit, sugar?"

* * *

"Mimzy, _dearest_ \- how many times must I tell you? It's _**not**_ a date!"

Was it _really_ so hard to believe? "And furthermore, you've already answered your own question! Who better to affiliate myself, the _Radio Demon_ with, than with Hell's very own renegade _'angel'?_ The very same vigilante and beast who took out _**your**_ business rival, _might I add~?"_

* * *

Mimzy giggled a bit, aware Alastor was probably not even telling her the half of it. She knew him better than that -

"Oh, I'm sure it must be _**mutually**_ _beneficial~_ "

* * *

He would have retorted - had the band not sounded up their snares. _The show was starting!_

In an instant they were in the main hall. Mimzy stood before the audience on stage, while Alastor sat at their reserved table, at the front of the club. Perfectly poised, his ears pointed forward towards the stage, alert with anticipation. He cleared his throat, summoning just the head of his microphone:

_::_ _" **Mes** **damnés** " et " **monstrueux** ", have we got a treat for you tonight! Care to take it away, mademoiselle? _ _ :: _

* * *

Mimzy stepped forward towards her own mic stand, and began her usual task of warming up the crowd:

  
_:::: Thanks to one of our most **distinguished** guests - ::::_

She gazed directly at the overlord for a second.

_:::: - we have the pleasure of opening tonight with a **really** special act! Say hello to the drag performer, actor and angel renegade in his first post-fall performance! **Angel Dust!** ::::_

* * *

Alastor's grin grew wry as their guests gave a laugh at the comedic interplay between their hostess and resident overlord; _touché, darling_.

_:: ... well, YOU heard the lady! Do TRY and keep it **cl̕as͜sy** tonight, won't you? - ::_

Playful jeers resounded as Mimzy stepped down from the stage, to join the radio demon at their table:

"You _won't_ be disappointed, my dear!"

* * *

* * *

The lights dimmed, coming to a focus on Angel and his spotlight on the stage. With applause came his chance to finally show off just _what_ he was made of -

_**Stars shining bright above you** _

_**Night breezes seem to whisper, "I love you" -  
** _

_**Birds singin' in the sycamore trees** _

_**Dream a little dream of me ~**_

His tenor voice filled the club, resonating hypnotically throughout the hall. His four arms highlighted each and every movement as he swayed his body:

_**Still craving your kiss;** _

_**I'm longin' to linger 'til dawn, dear** _

_**Just saying this -** _

He relished being the center of attention. displaying his skills like his life depended on it. But even knowing that he was the focus of the night, he couldn't help subtly directing his performance in Alastor's direction, from time to time. ****

* * *

Angel Dust had never been particularly renowned for his vocal talents (or at least, not in a _formal_ setting ... )

As a result, just about _everyone_ had fixated on the stage, Alastor included. Only he didn't notice the stage had chosen to stare _back_. Not until he caught Angel's gaze, pink and familiar and _unblinking_ as it bore into him with _intense_ recognition, however briefly.

It was enough to send the ends of his grin curling, sharp and nearly manic in bashful display. Snatching Mimzy's nearest hand within his gloved grasp, the Radio Demon leaned over to whisper in a hushed tone that was not at _all_ affected:

"He has _quite_ the range, hasn't he??"

* * *

_**You've gotta make me a promise, promise to me** _

_**You'll dream**_

_**Dream a little dream of me~** _

On the last note, Angel let his wings sprout free, arching them over his head so that the ends touched, in full display -

"- thank you, everyone! I hope you all enjoy tonight as much I enjoyed singing for you!"

It was only when the cheering died down a bit that he hid away the appendages once more. With a slight bow, he retired from the stage, feeling a renewed pride within himself.

* * *

* * *

Alastor was among the first demons to applaud the performance once it was over.

"That was _wonderful!_ See, Mimzy, what did I -"

However, he stopped when spotted a familiar figure near the stage. Approaching the spider with a bouquet of bright red roses.

The Radio Demon turned to his hostess with a snap. _"What's **H͜Ȩ͘͘** doing here?"_ he demanded, clearly displeased with the situation 

* * *

At first, Mimzy clapped. "That was excellent!" She was happy that the show had been such a success that even the crowd seemed to agree. But then she followed Alastor's gaze ...

"Oh, no ... Alastor, _please_ ..."

The _last_ thing she needed now was an overlords' altercation. All she could do was give a warning while trying not to provoke his mood ...

* * *

"Angel Dust ... we've seen each other around in the business, haven't we? _Nice pipes_."

A formally-dressed Vox greeted Angel, slowly clapping while holding a bouquet of roses in the crook of his arm. At best the gesture was polite, though it mostly seemed disingenuous. His expression seemed bored, like he _really_ couldn't be bothered to care. It was as if he didn't want to be here in the first place, but had been forced to come out regardless.

* * *

Angel was stunned the second he recognized Vox. How **dare** that bastard show his face!

"Yes, we did - how can I help you, _**Vox**?"_ Angel said, sparing no amount of sarcasm in his own "politeness".

* * *

Vox yawned, then returned Angel's "enthusiasm" with an electric-blue grin.

"You can take one of these damn flowers, for one. Nothing personal - I'm just scouting around for some new talent. I saw you walk in with the Radio Demon -"

He presented the blooms, so that Angel could take his pick from them. His gaze hardened -

"- I hear he's got good 'taste'. **_Anyway_** ... most dolls would **kill** to be in your place. So why don't you just do us a favor ... _humour_ me, won't you?"

* * *

Angel felt his lower hands close into tight fists as he tried to hide his disgust. He couldn't make a scene here - not while he was trying to leave a good impression. Maybe if he played along, the overlord would get tired and leave him alone.

"Thank you." he said flatly, taking a flower without really looking at the demon. "And I'm not anyone's 'doll' - **_Vox_**. Now, if you'll excuse me ..."

He walked away without a good-bye, hoping the demon would take the hint.

\--

Velvet was practically glued to her computer screen, seeing and hearing everything as Vox did. It was way easier than having the both of them turn up in that musty old place. And she was _way_ more useful grom her own quarters, anyhow -

_:: Good! Now we just wait - come on spider, let's see it take effect ... ::_

She practically hissed into her mic, knowing Vox could hear it at the other end.

* * *

* * *

As Angel walked off, Vox threw a glance over in Alastor's direction, before allowing himself to frown. Ignoring Velvet, he returned to his seat by the sidelines, taking the rest of the flowers with him.

"Suit yourself, _dragshow -_ "

\--

"He ..! Mimzy, you **know** how I feel about his "ethic"! And he ..."

There was _no_ way he could share what had recently transpired between them. "... **_besides_** , I thought you didn't trust him! He doesn't even _**like**_ these sorts of clubs, so _why is he here?_ And _why does he have **flowers** , _Mimzy, what is - _**Angel**!"_

Alastor stopped pestering the woman with his complaints the second the spider joined them, and his voice went from a disquieted hiss to a sigh of genuine relief. Though there was still concern -

"You were marvelous, you were _stunning_ \- what was _**that**_ about?!"

If Mimzy wouldn't answer him, perhaps Angel would - he _must_ have gleaned something. One of Alastor's shadows pulled out a seat for their star, to the deer's right. They needed to hear _everything_ -

* * *

"HA! Some idiots have guts." he said, dropping the rose onto the table as he took a seat. "Our local TV asshole felt like sweet-talking me into one of his games. But don't let that ruin your night -"

He leaned over, tall enough that he could simply glance over at Mimzy next: "I hope it was at your level?"

_At least Angel didn't seem to be making it a bigger deal than it was_. Mimzy could only hope that Alastor would also drop the topic ...

"Oh, Angel! It was great! I would just enjoy having you again!" she replied.

The spider smiled, equally determined to forget Vox. "I would love to."

* * *

He still wasn't happy about the situation ... but he also didn't want to ruin Angel's night. Alastor backed off on the subject for now, relaxing into his seat.

"So tell us, Mimzy ... what _do_ you have in store for us tonight? I can see the open bar is a hit so far - and what of your performers? Have the girls prepared a new routine? You know, _Angel_ isn't half bad on his feet either, provided there's enough room for those legs of his, _ha!_ You should have seen him these past few days -"

He made small-talk for now, both a means of distraction _and_ an assertion of dominance _despite_ Vox's proximity.

* * *

" _Half bad?_ I'll show ya "half bad" -"

Angel felt slightly challenged by Alastor. And perhaps the cheering crowds, which were definitely making him feel a bit cocky. "- I have the whole night for it, 'deer'!"

* * *

_Oh_ _?_ Perhaps that confidence exercise during their last lesson _had_ taken effect ... Alastor slowly turned away from Mimzy, and met the spider's gaze with a smugness in the form of a smirk.

"You think that **you** , can challenge **_me_** _?_ The **_Radio Demon_** _??"_

He gave a low cackle, crooking his finger and gesturing for the nearest server to bring them drinks. "There's a reason I'm always welcome here - isn't that right, Mimzy-dear?"

* * *

"The band will be playing tonight. Feel free to take to the dance-floor.” Mimzy offered, amused.

The stage once again filled with the sounds of music. With a smile towards Alastor, Angel stood up, waiting for him.

* * *

The Radio Demon rose from his seat at Angel's beckoning - how could he refuse? Taking him by one of his hands, the deer tugged his partner forward, to whisper something _somewhere_ within his ridiculously large wig, where the spider presumably kept his nonexistent ears:

_:: Make it **good** \- we have **eyes͡** watching, this time~ ::_

* * *

Angel's fur raised with Alastor's proximity, but he didn't retreat or feel intimidated. Letting him take his hand, he followed after the deer to dance.

Best case scenario, Alastor would be left tired and breathless, and would _have_ to admit that Angel was actually good. Worst case, the spider would have danced with the Radio Demon ... until he could no longer feel his feet.

**_No real loss, there._ **

* * *

Pulling back, Alastor led them towards the congregation of demons who were already starting up their own dance routines. They had an audience to entertain - and **_Vox_**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. art by [Nekokolove/Awkwardcat:  
>    
>  ](https://twitter.com/AwkwardCatArt/status/1350585026610667522?s=20)
> 
> 2\. YA'LL DIDN'T SEE SHIT ~~i hate how close the ao3 buttons are, sobbb~~  
>   
>  3\. lyrics don't 100% match at the end but that's i embedded a cover that a) fit and b) wasn't just the track from last chapter, lmao  
> -ornithia
> 
> **Which nickname(s) for Alastor will appear in the next chapter?  
>  a. Bambi  
> b. D͢a̷d̶̨ḑy҉̸̡ ̡͜Vor̢͏e̸̡buck  
> c. Tiny Prancer  
> d. Starbuck  
> e. Rudolph**


	20. La vie en rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (If) our communication is telepathy  
> Then what you give is what you get out of us naturally  
> And we can wait 'til your shadows grow long  
> And turn the page of a story  
> That has long since found a home -
> 
> I know you better than this  
> I could be here when you call  
> I'll make you top of the list  
> And in the crush of the dark  
> I'll be your light in the mist  
> I can see you (-)
> 
> Hold me _clo̊̽ͪš̽ͫ̔̎e̓̽͐_ and hold me fast  
> I'm in a _w̏orlͩ̄͗̂dͪ̈ͥ ̆͌̾̔̂͗̽aparͭͯ̎̏ͤt_  
>  A world where roses _blo͊ͦō͊mͭͮ̓ͫ̕_
> 
>  _ **Give your ͘hͫͯ̊eart ̾̋ͦ͋̇̓̄an͒͊d̔̃̌̚ ̴̂̑̃̑̓̈ͭs̄͊o͜u͞l̓ͩͣ̿ͣ t̀o ̕m̉̏̄ͦē**_  
>  This magic spell you cast  
> This is _"L̈̍a ̓ͨ̎ͪ̓̾͆vie ͩͥ̈́̉͊ͤe͘n ̡̌̇ro̸se"_ ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Vox  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Mimzy, Velvet

The hall was plunged into a familiar darkness, that dazzled like an obscene twilight as colors fluoresced in its shroud. Within the strange interplay of shadow and sound, Vox weaved through a lively crowd, an anachronistic beacon handing out flowers, one bloom at a time -

Alastor was _showing off._ The junior overlord watched the unlikely pair from a distance, with increasing irritability as he placed stems into the barrels of the brass band.

\--

The Radio Demon had all but transformed the night, doing just about everything in his literal power to turn it into a flambouyant production. And it was _deliberate._

"You know, you'll probably have to touch up that eyeliner -!" he laughed, holding Angel in his arms. Or was it the other way around, and was it Angel who had him caught in an embrace? It didn't matter - it was a distraction. And it was made all the merrier by an assortment of shadows, frolicking and pulling strangers into their sway as they had done with Angel during their first "dance" in the alley.

* * *

Allowing himself to be led, Angel laughed with the deer, focusing on him and their dance. He knew Alastor was trying to erase his earlier tension, so he did his best to follow each and every new step that was thrown his way, keeping him occupied. Even the spins ...

Everyone else could go fuck themselves - **especially** Vox **.**

\--

As she unwrapped her lollipop, Velvet spoke into her ally's 'ear':

_:: **Relax** \- just make sure Angel fucking uses - ::_

But then she paused to stop and listen. _:: - Vox? What's that damned sound? ::_

There was a distinctive rustling just outside his field of vision. _:: You better not be ruining those flowers! ::_

* * *

There were still a few flowers left.

"This is stupid ..." Vox snarled, bitterly smacking the remaining stems against the palm of his hand. Fucking Velvet. And fucking Val - if it hadn't been for _his_ fuck up, he wouldn't even have to **be** here. Dealing with a fucking spider he didn't even care about. Dealing with _Al_ -

It was a slap in the face, and felt like a fucking joke. The vintage aesthetic that was tacky-as-shit. The sorry excuse for a speakeasy, that reeked of enough cheap booze to mask the sickly-sweet smell of perfume and too much make up. One scent in particular went unnoticed, that was light and airy and deceptively floral ...

Vox took a deep breath, and over the course of a minute, felt his mood ... suddenly drift.

 _Perhaps things were not all that dire .._. Pushing past a crowd of demons, the overlord tossed what was left of the bouquet. Over his shoulder, so that it just _happened_ to pelt an unsuspecting couple in petals and thorns. Following a colorful stream of insults, the agitated pair was left to pick out the bits and pieces of plant matter from each other's hair ... Only to inexplicably sidetrack a moment later, and collapse indecently atop the nearest available surface. Not that anyone cared or noticed, too caught up in what was happening at the center of the dance hall -

A ring of spectators were gathered around the Radio Demon and his fallen angel 'guest', watching the duo dance up a storm in their increasingly involved routine. Which was currently Alastor and two of his shadows passing Angel back and forth between them, swapping his many arms in exhibition of the spider's unique anatomy.

'Round and 'round they want - soon it was time for their big finish. Letting go, Alastor released Angel, dismissing his shadows one by one until it was just him, the spider, and an impressive distance left between them. All Angel had to do now was return to him -

"- mind if I cut in? It won't take long - _"_

A smug expression flashed across Vox's face as the TV-headed nightmare suddenly swept in, snatching Alastor away before Angel could get to him: "... us _overlords_ need to _**talk**."_

* * *

Angel could hardly believe it when Vox took Alastor away from him, shit-eating grin spread across that flat-screen he had for a face -

**THAT MOTHERFUCKER.**

And he was dancing with him ... Like they were supposed to be _friends_ or something. His primary hands twitched, and he felt the ghostly weight of his mace settle into one of them - **_no_**. He didn't want to cause a scene. But the walking-talking television set was already testing the limits of his patience ...

 _Alastor could take care of it_. Angel decided to wait, tapping his foot against the floor. Hoping that that when they finally left the club, everything would still be in one piece.

* * *

The Radio Demon opted to follow along with Vox's lead in lieu of homicide.

"What are you _**doing**!?_ Don't think that just because it's _Mimzy's_ -"

"Relax, **_bambi_** -"

Vox danced them in a circle them around Angel Dust, keeping his gaze trained on the spider for any sudden moves.

"Just thought I'd swing by, catch up - _see if you **missed** me_."

Alastor said nothing, refusing to acknowledge his rival or his sudden act of brazenness. Instead, he focused on keeping his shadows lively for the other dancing pairs. He would _not_ be upstaged by the likes of -

"Pity - I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings left between us. _Or_ Val - fucker always bit off more than he could chew. Had it coming, really -"

"- you're treading _**dangerous**_ territory, _Vox_."

The media giant gave a harsh laugh, turned deep and sinister by an electro-magnetic undercurrent. It caused his face to glow brighter, and filled the air with the prickling scent of ozone. Alastor could even feel the small hairs of his neck stand on end as Vox leaned in, an air of static surrounding him -

"I could **g̈i͛ͥ̓̈́vͩ̑ͣ̓̏ē** you danger, if _**t̃͊̽ȟ̄ͤ̅̉̔a͋͛̿̆ͧ̄t'͛̿s** ͓̦̝what̹̱̻ y̞ou'r̦͔e̙̤̟ af̤te̥̜ͅr_ ..." he thrummed, and looked towards Angel, shooting him a pleasant grin. "... it's why you've got _him_ , isn't it? Your very own holy weapon ..."

The Radio Demon _tried_ to get away when Vox jerked him into a spin. But he found that he was held back by a set of glowing digits, that caught and encircled his rope-thin waist. Tugging Alastor back into his charged embrace, Vox took the opportunity to send him into a second and disorienting spin in the opposite direction:

"I'll tell you right now, Al - it's only a matter of time before I _**own**_ you. You think just because Val's outta the picture and your pathetic "hobbies" have managed to gain some traction that your outdated show can actually compete with my empire? Think again -"

They danced past Mimzy's table, where Vox quickly swiped something from its surface -

"It's been a while since I last made my proposal, so hear me out -"

It was the flower he had offered to Angel. Vox gently pressed the head of it up against Alastor's lips, so that the petals grazed softly against the skin and caught between his sharp amber teeth. He smirked:

"Just _join_ me, already - it'll be the greatest merger in the history of Hell. And it'll be a _lot_ nicer than if I have to **make** you ..."

Maybe it was just his imagination ... but the mogul's words induced the synesthesic effect of vomit's saccharine stench. Alastor could _gag_ \- this wasn't the first time Vox had suggested a union. _Still_ \- where was the charm, the passion, the creative **_vision_** _? -_

"I'll even let you bring the new _pet_ , since I already **_know_** he's house-trained and all -"

 _- **there**_ it was. Utter, domestic **tripe**. He'd had _enough_ \- Alastor didn't _need_ Vox. He didn't _need_ his resources, or his spheres of influence. Least of all when it came from a man who lacked _imagination_ -

The deer _saw_ , rather than felt himself ram into the glowing, taunting face with the full force of his antlers. There was something just so _satisfying_ about sending all that glass flying, complete with a shower of sparks that burnt and sizzled away at the tips of his hair. Their audience, which had been watching the overlord pair with some anticipation, let out a roar as Alastor pulled himself away, already preparing for a second strike.

* * *

Angel had seen the moment Vox got his screen shattered - whatever he'd said, he probably deserved it. But now Alastor was the one making a scene, and it looked like he was getting ready to start a huge fight. That was different from simply being enraged like earlier ...

Rushing over in their direction, Angel grabbed Alastor by the arm, pulling him away from Vox.

"I'm so sorry, Mimzy! We have to go, now!" he apologised, as the hostess looked on in disbelief between her overlord friend and his kneeling victim, face leaking all over the ground.

If Angel could just get Alastor outside ... or at the very least drag him through the doors. "Al, please remember where you are!"

* * *

* * *

He may have still been smiling, but his eyes were alight with fight and fury. Just barely, Alastor allowed Angel to lead him outdoors, shadows writhing in his wake as they threatened to become more than mere silhouettes.

"How **dare** he! You'd think, that after what happened to _Valentino_ ..!"

He stopped to rant: "Thinks that just because it's neutral ground he's suddenly free to 'provoke' me, does he!? That some supposed 'leash' exists, that I won't **_bite_** him for his insolence!? Maybe I just happen to be _kind_ enough to muzzle my tendency out of consideration for a dear friend, did he stop to think about that? Oh, wait - he _**wouldn't**!_ Of course! The sheer _nerve_ of him, I can't! I _won't_ -"

Turning to face Angel, Alastor felt his firery ire die down a bit. Vox may have been the catalyst - but _he_ was the one ruining their-

\- _**the**. He_ was the one ruining _**the**_ spider's night, wasn't he?

"... I shouldn't be letting him get to me; _damn it ..!"_

His ears twitched as he fought the urge to run back inside. To _finish_ what he'd started ... But instead, he chose to reach for Angel's hands.

"... we were in the middle of something, _weren't we?_ I won't let _**him**_ get between us again." he snarled. They _would_ finish their dance, at the very least ...

* * *

Alastor seemed to calm down a bit. But when he held his hands, determined to keep their night going ... Angel could only blush.

_**'Between us.'**  
_

He smiled; it was a bit hot, even. "Whatever you want, smiles."

Vox was no longer on his mind.

* * *

With a renewed sense of purpose, Alastor pulled Angel into a mad and defiant version of their earlier swing.

They were joined by the shadows, of course - _all_ of them. If Mimzy was so lenient tonight that she was going to let the likes of _Vox_ taint her establishment, then Alastor would simply have to create his own arena outside. Propped up on its stand, his microphone served as their emcee and kept the music going, leaving Alastor free to channel out his frustrations. Even Angel seemed a little more eager than before -

 _Good_.

Unconstrained by the limits of a performing band, they were able to go faster than before. 'Round and 'round they went -

A few demons came outside, for bit of fresh air or to take a smoke break. But they hurried back into the club the moment they spotted the Radio Demon. They hadn't forgotten the almost-confrontation from earlier, and at least inside they had Mimzy to enforce her anti-brawl policies ...

"After tonight - what do you want to do?"

The question came a bit suddenly, mid-step during a transition. And it was a bit open-ended, vague because there were many thoughts currently circulating through Alastor's mind - Vox. Mimzy. Charlie. The Hotel. Sir Pentious, and all of the confusing things they had discussed - Frankie, who had brought him along this far. And the eternity of Hell -

How did Angel feel about any of it? About him, and this? The deer was genuinely curious to hear.

* * *

Angel slowed down for a bit and tried to think.

"I'm not sure ... What do you wanna do?" He knew he was still a bit worked up, at least. "Would you like to maybe grab something to eat? I know I'm hungry!"

He felt his stomach protest just then; it wasn't a lie. "We can get something and just chill. Then after plot paying a visit to our friend Vox~" he added, winking at the deer.

* * *

In his rage, Alastor hadn't even felt his usual hunger. He idly pressed a hand to his too-thin figure, wondering how much he'd wasted away since their arrival ... Though he quickly dismissed the thought with a laugh when he looked up and caught Angel winking.

"Yes - I suppose you're right. Let's get you some food, first. Mimzy has the most _delightful_ appetizers -"

 _Oh, right_. He'd caused a scene.

"... _maybe_ she's forgiven me by. I hope ... in any case, it was _Vox_ who started it -"

 _Oh, right_. Vox was still inside.

"... I'll behave. Just long enough to grab a bite. _After_ that, I can't promise anything ..."

The last part was phrased jokingly ... but he also _did_ mean it. Maybe. He'd be good (mostly). "Shall we ...?"

* * *

"I don't know if I should trust you." Angel hummed, between serious and teasing. "He seems to follow you like a lost puppy. How about we go back to the hotel and I cook something for us, instead? I can even give you a ride …"

* * *

"..."

 _Fair enough_. Angel had a point. And even his description of Vox was apt - not that Vox was _anything_ like a puppy. Other than being young and unruly and something Alastor was _terribly_ unfond of.

"... only if you don't drop me. I'm not **that** kind of deer, you know." he considered, throwing Angel a suspicious glance for his offer. _Speaking_ of things he wasn't fond of ...

* * *

"Great, then!" He released his wings, holding his arms out for Alastor. "Just hold on tight, _Rudolph_ -"

It _may_ have also been an excuse just to get closer to the deer. But, _**details**_ ... "- we are gonna get there in no-time!"

* * *

"..."

 _Might as well_. With a sigh, Alastor stepped up to the spider and stood in front of him. Leering straight at him, until the overlord finally acquiesced and put his arms around the fallen angel's neck. A firm hug. A tight embrace. A vice-grip ... _whichever_ happened to be most secure.

"I _**expect**_ you to put those arms to good use."

* * *

* * *

EXTRA SCENE:

Velvet sat in her living room couch, aggressively slurping her iced latte; she was _very_ displeased. But just over her own noise she could make out the soft static whine coming from her 'guest' and his shiny new screen as he walked in.

"What you were THINKING?!"

Vox didn't have to bother explaining; she'd heard enough from InstaHell posts.

* * *

"What else was I supposed to do!?"

There had been too many shards to collect; And there had been plasma everywhere - of course he wasn't the type that was vain enough to get a fancy new face just _because_. Not like Valentino had been -

Of course, he _also_ knew that wasn't what Velvet was asking: "It's not my fault - **_you_** said the flowers were supposed to take care of the fucking pest!"

* * *

Vox DARED?

"So I'm the one that screwed up? You entered the place, talked to the fucking spider; everything should have gone smoothly. Until you came in with your lovers to enemies bullshit ... Vox!"

He wasn't even looking at her!

* * *

"It WASN'T like that!"

That would imply he and Alastor _had_ been lovers. _As if_ ...

"And look who's talking; maybe next time you should go and do your own legwork instead of making _me_ do it -"

He ignored the woman's shocked gasp; "- yeah, that's right! Maybe you can try going outside for once instead of staring at your phone all day!"

* * *

"Ugh! Boring!" She glared at him for a moment before shrugging it off; there was no point in going public just yet! Keeping a low profile had helped Velvet survive more than one occasion during her stay in Hell.

* * *

Tearing open a bag of WcDonalds, Vox threw himself onto the opposite end of the couch as he bit into a chimkin sandwich - he _needed_ his comfort food.

"It's _always_ the same crap with you magic types ..."

He'd been put through the gauntlet _enough_ times with Alastor - he didn't need it from Velvet, too.

"... next time, we do it _my_ way. Got it?"

* * *

She had a slight idea of what he could want to try and what resources they could need ...

"Fine ... but I'm not reading anymore contracts."

 _Vox's way? Vox's paperwork_. "And _you're_ handling the tax evasion!"

* * *

"Whatever - not like I don't _always_."

With that, he tossed her the toy that had come with his meal; a peace offering. There was no point staying angry with his remaining close ally. Not like Val -

"... what's it say on InstaHell? I was too busy getting my face fixed to check ..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. summary lyrics are an altered hybrid version of [La Roux - Tigerlily](https://youtu.be/O09v0uQUHxQ) and [Louis Armstrong - La vie en rose](https://youtu.be/8IJzYAda1wA)
> 
>  **POP QUIZ: Pick a saccharide:**  
>   
>  A. Sucrose spider  
> B. Maltose moth  
> C. Dextrose deer  
> D. Lactose lizard  
> E: Fructose feline


	21. Knead I say more?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night ends over a warm meal. And the morning drink isn't coffee.
> 
> Alternative title: [You knead (need me)](https://youtu.be/TBsdWW7MOew)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor, Charlie Magne, Sir Pentious  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust, Vaggie, Husk

It was well past the hotel's curfew when they finally returned from Mimzy's. And they were the only two souls still up to greet the witching hour. Or at least ... they were the only ones sitting out in plain sight. _Not_ trying to disguise themselves from moral officer Vaggie, patrolling the dead of night ...

In any case, it was late and Alastor sat backwards on a chair, illuminated by the kitchen lights. The deer felt ... _silly_. Struck by a lightheartedness that had persisted long after Angel's 'flight', and left him feeling frisky and just a bit _wobbly_ in the knees -

_**I think I ought to keep to my shadows! Next time** ..._

\- that is. _Assuming_ ... And considering the night's fiasco ... was a "next time" even ...

 ** _Never mind_**. Tightly gripping the back of his chair, he reacquainted himself with the solidity of floors beneath him and the _reasonable_ tug of gravity at this altitude. He had _no_ intention of falling anytime soon ...

"... what are you making?" he asked, watching Angel knead his ingredients into a dough.

* * *

"Pizza!" the spider cheered, wearing a more casual set of clothes. He'd taken a few minutes to change out of his dress and wig, the latter of which had become a victim of the wind during his flight. It would need to be taken care of later, of course. But at least he could be comfortable, for now:

"It's a classic -" he added, putting on the last of the toppings as he slid it into the pre-heated oven with a bit of indignation. "- but you have to see how modern restaurants have just **destroyed** the original."

* * *

"Is that so?" he wondered, tilting his head in a way that was just a bit too curious.

Given his reputation as a 'foodie', Alastor was often eager to expand his palate. Which was sometimes easier said than done, particularly with familiar foods. _Pizza_ , funnily enough, was something he'd never had any strong opinions on. And as a result, he'd gown quite tolerant of its more ... creative renditions. In fact, one could say he was even _fond_ of one of its more controversial iterations -

"... don't you think you're forgetting the **pineapple**?" the deer suggested, with an innocent grin. As if he _hadn't_ just uttered blasphemy in an angel's presence.

* * *

Angel shut the oven closed and reclined against the nearby countertop.

"... you want me to kick you out of the kitchen, right?" he sneered, with a slight warning tone.

* * *

" **Maybe**."

The Radio Demon flexed his fingers, feeling his expression grow into a triumphant smirk.

* * *

Angel realized a bit too late that maybe he'd made a poor choice in words, telling Alastor that he was going to _'kick him out'._ He hastily reconsidered:

"It was an amazing night, really! I'm not letting that bastard ruin it ..." It was true, even if there was now the possibility that Alastor had been kicked of his friend's club forever ... "It felt great."

* * *

The apology was unnecessary; Alastor waived it off with a wave of his hand. "You're right, it **did** feel great! But it could have been **_better_** ..."

He sighed, offering up his own amends. "If anything, _I'm_ the one that should be sorry that I had to cut it so short! For you, that is -"

Alastor _knew_ that Mimzy was familiar with his brand of 'quirks'; of _course_ she'd get over it! And it wouldn't be the first time, either - but Angel? She'd only **_just_** met him, and could only _really_ associate him with the radio demon's chaotic streak ...

"... you make a rather charming demon belle, you know. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you made Vox **jealous**."

He was trying to be coy, but couldn't bring himself to laugh as he would have liked. Not when discussing the demon in question.

* * *

"Is that what he told you, when he took you away for a chat? That he didn't want his "crush" getting close with the popular girl?"

Angel snorted, setting their plates out on the table in the meantime. "How can it be better, really? I did my thing, we showed everyone how we could dance like no tomorrow, and I got to see you ram into him with your antlers -!"

He cackled. "It was priceless!"

* * *

Alastor rolled his eyes - that was _one_ way to phrase it. Though he tried _not_ to think too hard about Angel's analogy, and just who was _who's_ crush in that scenario ...

"No - but _hopefully_ that just means we won't have to see him again for a while. He _did_ seem paranoid about me making a move on his "empire" now that Valentino's not in the way ..."

* * *

"Vox is just looking for new talent. Or at least, that's what he told me - be his new "doll", pfft. No fucking way." _One overlord was enough in his afterlife._

"Let's just hope Mimzy forgives you."

* * *

_"Doll?_ **_That_** ..." The deer gave a mental gripe, briefly dwelling on his rival and the past he shared with him.

"... we **used** to 'associate', so to speak. Similar mediums and all that ... But our views were too different - can you imagine? Simply "taking" talent, rather than nurturing it? It's _exploitative_ \- at least when _I_ try to drive someone to ruin I give them a fighting chance! I mean, just look at how well _you_ turned out for the Hotel ..."

He flashed a sheepish smile; he wasn't innocent by _any_ means. But he _was_ fair. "Quality over quantity, to think of anything else is just _ludicrous!_ But it's what led to our dissolution, and why he probably got on so well with _Valentino_ afterward. Of course, what's _'profit'_ without substance?"

The corners of his grin sharpened into a scowl. "It's damned near **_worthless_** \- and it's why he keeps coming back. I deny him, of course, but it's only made him **obsessed** with me -"

* * *

Angel pondered over Alastor's words. "That explains a lot."

The pizza was ready. As he served their warm meal, the smell of it made him feel even hungrier.

"He's probably afraid you'll make another big splash, like we did the first time around. Which reminds me, we still need to plan what we're going to do from now on and go over it with Charlie."

* * *

The deer glanced at Angel, suddenly feeling an overwhelming sense of appreciation for the spider's company as he placed a warm slice before him.

"I'm glad you're not like him ..."

* * *

"Nothing is creepier than demons hoping that you won't punch then in the face because "next time" will be different -"

Early on, the spider _had_ insisted on pursuing the deer. Annoying him, because he'd been fascinated. It was different now, of course, but ...

"- I can take "no" for an answer. No worries, Al." Angel assured him. "You can always just tell me to fuck off."

* * *

Alastor choked back on a laugh - the _irony!_

"Lucky for you, my dear, then - that you _not_ "fucking off" is **precisely** the point! I ..."

He realised too late that he'd uttered an expletive ... Nearly a century of censoring himself in "polite" company per the broadcast rulings of his day, and he just so _happened_ to slip up on a night involving Vox ...

_" **Curses**!"_

_Damn_ the irresistible draw of quick quips! He busied himself with his pizza, tearing pieces from it in a flurry of _teeth_ as he reeled at the horror of what he'd said.

* * *

Angel felt the sincerity in Alastor's words, and could only hope for the best. It was as scary as it was wonderful to think that the demon truly might not mind staying close to him. Even if he could only laugh at the overlord as he began to stuff his mouth to avoid his shame.

Looking at him, the fallen angel asked in a tone that was warm and even a bit sweet; "Is it good?"

* * *

Sauce dropped down the Radio Demon's chin as he continued to consume, before he eventually swallowed the entire mouthful.

"Of _course_ it is!" he spat, glaring over his oregano-peppered grin. "Now hurry up and eat yours, already - you _made_ it, after all!"

\--

Morning came. Not that the sky looked any different. Charlie sat at her desk, wondering where Alastor had gone off to when Angel entered instead.

* * *

"Hey Princess, Vaggie - you guys have a moment?"

* * *

"Oh, hey there! Something on your mind?" she asked, instantly shooting a hopeful glance towards her girlfriend nearby.

* * *

"There's creep pictures all over the Hellnet, and #radiodust is trending … guess your date was a success, eh?" Vaggie teased, knowing Angel had probably already seen something.

"For the last time ..." he sighed. "Just ... _don't_ use any of that to piss off Alastor, OKAY?"

* * *

Charlie tried not to let her disappointment show. _Must be a different topic, then.  
_

"Alright, go on then ... let's hear what you have to say!"

* * *

"I know we dropped the subject a bit, but now that I have nothing to distract me ... I think we need to start planning what we're going to do about purification. Because at this point the press is gonna peck at the smallest crumb we throw at them, anyway."

Even Vaggie had to agree. "They are getting extremely annoying ..." At least once a day she found herself having to use her spear to chase away nosy groups of reporters and photographers.

* * *

"Well ..." _  
_

It wasn't a light topic, by any means. "What you did is incredible. Huge. _Big_ deal kind of news. I definitely don't think we should be abusing it - _especially_ not with how much it already took out of you! We don't even know if you can do it again - and **without** the chaos from last time."

She didn't _want_ Angel running around getting hurt for her sake. Or thinking that he was all-powerful in a place that regularly housed the likes of overlords and the greater ancient beings of histories long-forgotten. He still had a human soul, and she wanted to _protect_ that -

"But ... I'm not going to try and stop you like before. That only made you find ... other avenues, before. I think that maybe, if you can find a way to better control it - maybe we can try it again _once_ in a while. Until we figure out exactly what it does and how much it costs you."

* * *

"I told you, Valentino was too powerful. And it was supposed to be done slowly - I already know I screwed up really bad."

Angel sat in front of her, trying to shares his thoughts in an easier way. " ... anyway, I highly doubt I can do it often. Once a year is max, probably, at the risk of some of the weirder consequences. It would leave me weak for a couple of days, but nothing like the first time. Especially if all of you are around."

* * *

Once a year ... it would give them time to plan, at least. Unfortunately the next extermination would be coming up in the next 100 or so days. With less than a third of the year left, souls would inevitably be lost.

That said, there was still one unsavory bit of discussion left to go over: "You said you had been training with Alastor before, right? What, uh ... what system did he use to, umm ..."

It was _obvious_ that Angel had been getting the deer's "leftovers", considering what the process entailed ...

"... I can't exactly condone killing other demons just because they "deserve" it. It's supposed to be a fair system! Redemption for all! But purification ... well. There's a _cost_. Not trying to defend Val, but have you _seen_ the streets now that he's gone? Not exactly one of the goals we had in mind."

They had to be careful not to upset the balance of powers in Hell throughout their endeavor. Overlords and their kind were in place for a _reason_.

* * *

Angel looked at Vaggie, knowing she also wanted the best possible outcome. No lies by omission.

"I know you don't like the process, Charlie. But to be honest, turning into energy isn't that bad. You can even say we are "grounding" them until a part of them can become human again. Even **I** would consider it as an option if I could ..."

He hoped Charlie would at least think about it, because he didn't want to fully go against her wishes. Helping her had become one of his priorities ...

* * *

It wasn't easy. But she relented - for Angel's sake, and all of Hell.

"... I suppose it's better than nothing. Maybe we can even use this year as an opportunity to observe how the "professionals" manage it, or ... _ugh."_

Charlie said it with the most disgusted tone she could muster; she had _never_ been fond of her exterminator cousins. In fact, right now she didn't want to think of them anymore than she had to -

"- _**can we talk about something else**?_ Like you - you _have_ been alright lately, haven't you? Not too busy, just taking it easy after your recovery ..?"

She was trying SO hard not to mention the Radio Demon and _his_ role in all of it - not if Angel didn't want to bring it up.

* * *

"I'm fine, Charlie ..."

Angel knew she wanted to ask - but there wasn't much he could say. Not without sounding like a complete idiot who'd never really _had_ a 'normal' relationship -

Did he even **have** a 'relationship' with Alastor at this point? Probably not -

From the corner of his eyes he could see Vaggie rolling her only eye, but he decided to ignore it.

**_Nothing more than friends being weird as they awkwardly stepped around each other_**. 

* * *

* * *

Seeing as he was about to go and rot his brain anyway, Alastor figured he might as well treat himself to a distracting drink beforehand. Swaggering right up to to hotel's bar area, he waved over his favorite ... _cat_.

"Husker, my boy! You're looking **swell**!"

* * *

Husk greeted him with a nod. 

"I was wondering when you were gonna show up. But I'm not surprised …" he said as he prepared a glass for Alastor, gently sliding it across the countertop when he was done.

* * *

The dear immediately snatched up the offered drink, although he simply held it for now, letting the cold spread through his fingertips.

"Why Husker, were you missing me **already**? You _**know**_ I'd never forget about you, my sweet, fuzzy feline friend!"

Almost too eagerly he reached out with his other hand, grabbing Husk's paw away from him. Toying with the long tapered claws that were just so **perfectly** sharp, and playing with the heart-shaped paw pad that was just _so_ enticingly plush and squishy ...

* * *

"Ugh ..." Husk tried to ignore Alastor using him like a plaything. Nothing out of the ordinary there.

"Seems you've been busy starring in everyone's gossip, lately." He had to focus just to remember everything he had heard about the previous night. There was a lot of relevant information to compile from all of the bars, betting pools, and sketchy joints.

* * *

"Oh?"

He had _some_ idea ... But it would be good to have an outsider's opinion.

"Let's hear all about this **'gossip'** you've supposedly heard!"

* * *

"Your relationship with a fallen angel has everyone scratching their heads. He killed Valentino and now he was with you when you hit Vox, his old business partner. Implies that maybe you plan to erase another overlord."

Husk looked at Al, for some clue in his body language before he kept going: "Not to mention what kind of relationship you two might have, and who benefits actually more there."

Not that It was any of his business, but ... It was only a matter of time before he ended up knowing what those two had with one another, one way or another. Whether he wanted to or not.

"Many still see Angel as a prostitute, so -" Husk couldn't help forming a small grin. "- it's like you got yourself a mix between a sugar baby and a war dog."

* * *

A group of demons with canine-traits perked their ears from all the way in the lounge as Alastor exclaimed: "Why, that's **awful**! I don't even _like_ dogs!"

And playing with the pretty tips of Husk's claws, he continued: "Though I suppose the rumours _are_ fair in their scrutiny ... I **_did_** consider dismantling that eye-sore to the best of my ability while I was bashing his screen in -"

He _could_ devour Vox, technically speaking - though he couldn't _eat_ him. There was no pleasure in digestion when a meal was composed of _circuits_ , and so Alastor had refrained in past attempts.

"... in any case, I'm no "sugar daddy". Angel got in on his own merits - I was simply his golden ticket, is all!"

He also chose not to comment on the implication of what he and Angel _might_ share (because he couldn't say for certain, and he didn't want to declare anything unless it was mutual. _If_ even).

* * *

Husk conceded. "That's fair. But you know how no one here thinks big of you until you personally knock their teeth out. And while Angel has indeed proven to be a menace all by himself, he _was_ under Valentino's contract. I'm sure you know by now how cheesy as fuck gossip can get. Anything that sells."

The obvious conclusion was that in exchange for an intimate relationship with the Radio Demon, Angel Dust had killed his old boss and was now willing to do whatever Alastor asked of him.

* * *

Alastor gave Husk a wry grin.

"You know, Husker-darling, now that I think about it ... you might just be on to something. Perhaps I _**am**_ the "sugar daddy", after all! Although ..."

Winking towards Husk, the deer gave the paw pad one final squeeze before releasing it back to its owner.

"... I'd say I'm more the _booze_ -daddy type; wouldn't you agree, my _chardonnay chaton?_ ~"

Finally throwing back his drink, he downed it in a single gulp and slammed the glass down, before reluctantly disappearing into the shroud.

\--

 ** _"You_** said you wanted to see me."

"Yes, yes, I **know** , I _did_ \- but just GIVE me a moment. _**Eggbois**!_ Sort these out, _won't_ you? _-_ "

Alastor idly ran his tongue against the sharp edge of a tooth as he watched Sir Pentious slither about his workshop, pulling apart trinkets and baubles in his search for parts. Truth be told, it was a rather impressive sight - too bad the results rarely measured up to the hype. Not that it seemed to discourage the inventor, _or_ his cultish clutch of fanatic **_eggs_** -

Ultimately, and after what felt had like an eternity, the snake did set down his collection of gears, spring latches, and miscellaneous junk in order to actually address him:

"... **_swept_** him off his feet, _did_ you? The tabloids are talking _**all**_ about it -"

He _instantly_ regretted waiting. " **Where** did you -"

"Oh, the little lady brought it over, just look!" he explained, pulling the published piece out from his jacket and shoving it in front of Alastor's face. "You see, _we've_ decided to start a "fan club" for all things _"RadioDust"!_ A fitting tribute, if I do say so myself! We are to continue Frankie's legacy -"

_" **Don't**."_

" **Too** late! Now ..."

That was the _last_ thing Alastor wanted to hear - though he quickly changed his mind as Pentious continued -

"... when a man loves a woman - or a man. Or whatever it _goddamn_ pleases him to have gotten involved with ..!"

- ** _never mind_**. Feeling his face go red, Alastor lashed out on mere principle and sent the serpent's precariously stacked knick-knacks gathered from just moments ago toppling down.

"NO! I **NEEDED** THAT."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. we FUCKED UP ON THE QUESTIONS LAST CHAPTER HAHA ~~i was tired, ok~~. looks like you get one more week for your pop quiz 👀


	22. 🎨 Make up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Made up summary about making up make ups over make up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ornithia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornithia/pseuds/ornithia) \- Alastor  
> [Nekokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekokolove/pseuds/Nekokolove) \- Angel Dust

Days later, Alastor _still_ couldn't get over his conversation with Pentious:

"Isn't it curious, how you seem to have an **aneurysm** whenever I so much as _mention_ your gentleman caller's ... _**appetite**?"_

The Radio Demon cleaved straight through a femoral section of bone - _thwok!_ And then he recalled the serpent calling after him as he'd left the airship feeling flustered and self-conscious:

"DO come back ... I've yet to get you **presentable** , ahahAHAHAHA!! -"

He felt his ears burn with shame at the memory, even as he poured his concentration into scooping marrow by the spoonfuls. The substance was rich and fatty when it was brought to his lips, and helped nurse his wounded pride. However, it would not eliminate his insecurities, try as he might -

 _As if I didn't have **enough** of those_. Meekly savouring his decadent treat, Alastor decided to simply finish what he'd started before wrapping away the rest for later. Perhaps he'd incorporate it into an evening stew, or make it into a seasoned sausage. And there was always the option of a pâté, or turning it into thin slices ...

Bagging away his "mystery" cuts of meat, the deer washed his hands. Then he replaced his gloves and began his return trip back to the hotel.

**_Perhaps a tall, cool drink will do me some good._ **

* * *

* * *

It was the middle of the night, and Angel felt like getting a treat. Earlier he had made some tiramisu for himself and the girls - but suddenly he heard a pair of shoes click in the silence as he reached into the fridge.

There was only one person he could think of at this hour. Holding the remains of his dessert in hand, he called out:

"Alastor? Is that you?"

* * *

The deer paused in the hallway - he hadn't expected to cross paths with anyone this late, let alone _Angel_ ...

A second later, and he simply manifested into the kitchen, appearing on the other side of the refrigerator.

"Well, isn't this a _lovely_ coincidence~!" Alastor greeted as he pulled open the freezer between them. His mannerisms were oddly relaxed as he put away his plain and not at _all_ suspicious leftovers.

"It's been a long day, hasn't it? Why, I just ... _ah_." _  
_

Noticing Angel's own midnight snack, he gave a sly grin while indicating towards the spider's golden tooth. "I take it that's supposed to be your _sweet tooth?"_

* * *

Angel humored him, treating himself to another spoonful. "Coffee, mostly ... but I guess you can say that."

It wasn't _that_ sweet. Watching the deer go about his usual business, he tried to avoid putting any negative connotation on his next comment: "I would offer you some, but something tells me you are not up for it right now ..."

He still wasn't sure how to feel about the whole ... "topic". But the last thing he needed was to make the deer think he felt some kind of disgust for him. Especially when it seemed pointless to try and separate a cannibal from their cannibalism.

* * *

Alastor barely had time to consider his options when Angel went ahead and made the decision for him. He felt his grin soften into a grateful smile -

"You're right - I'm _not_. Shows how much those tabloids know ..."

Even so, he couldn't help grumbling out a playful complaint: "Can you _believe_ they're calling me a "sugar daddy" now?" he griped, shutting the freezer door almost resentfully.

* * *

"They _did?"_

The spider had to make an effort to not spit out the contents of his mouth - **_how much did I miss_** _!?_

"... am **_I_** supposed to be your sugar baby, then?" he teased. "'Cause I can't imagine anyone else~"

 _Everyone_ knew the Radio Demon was now friends the shiny new fallen angel. But more importantly -

"Maybe they'll change it to _'strawberry pimp'_ if you ask them ..."

* * *

Alastor laughed and teleported a few cabinets behind Angel, where he leaned against the counter.

 _"Please!_ I'm hardly fit for that line of work. And I doubt you're fit to be _**anyone's**_ infant - you'd hardly fit in a stroller!"

Re-adjusting his monocle, he added: "... oh, but it would _definitely_ be Husker, all things considered. **You** , if anything, would be more ..."

 _M_ _y forbidden fruit_ _... no, no!_

His eyes widened at the intrusive thought, and he pushed it away just as quickly as it had come, clearing his throat.

"... _'Sucrose spider'_ has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

* * *

"Please stop." Angel begged in monotone. "I can't handle so much."

Though he had admit ... the idea of Husk being _anyone's_ sugar baby was pretty funny. Putting away the tiramisu, the spider went to the sink to wash.

"Maybe you'll try some another time. But if you want something more the way like YOU like it, you are gonna have to start showing me." he suggested. "Pen actually asked for some of your, well ... I don't know what most of it was. But I've been thinking about trying new recipes, and while I don't count on it turning out great ..."

* * *

_" **What**."_

It was a bit hard to believe that _Pentious_ had been craving his cooking. Either he was rubbing off on the serpent, or time at the hotel had managed to broaden the Victorian's forked palate, bland as it was ...

Alastor chose to believe the latter, because he _didn't_ want to think that the odd lessons in 'romance' were anything more than a necessary torture. He was _not_ friends with Sir Pentious - and the snake had **better** not have said anything _else_ to Angel -

"If only my mother were around these parts ... I'm sure she would have been _delighted_ to take you up on the offer!" he mused, grinning woflishly despite his cervine features. "Alas, I suppose you missed your chance while you were above and beyond ... And now that you're back down in Hell, well ... that just leaves _**me** ,_ doesn't it~?"

* * *

"I can deal with you, Al. If you can spare me the time ..."

The deer had helped him with dancing; cooking should be fine, right?

* * *

"Hmm ... alright, then! Seeing as it can't be helped, can it? Though it will have to be a lesson for another day -"

There was no point in cooking when they were both clearly fed for the day. Suddenly quiet because he was too busy _beaming_ , he left the kitchen and waited for Angel to join him out in the hall.

* * *

He only needed a couple of strides from his too-long legs to reach the hall. Finding Alastor, Angel followed after him and the chance to chat a bit more before bed. 

* * *

"It's funny, now that you've mentioned it -" the deer continued, from where they'd left off.

 _Perhaps he'd walk the spider down to his door_. "- but I just _recently_ had my own chat with Pentious, wouldn't you know~?"

* * *

"Oh, you talked to him? About what?" the spider asked, with a bit of mistrust. The snake kept acting odd, and Angel couldn't figure out what exactly he was doing. _**Maybe he is just that weird**_...

* * *

"Not a clue. **_How should I know_**. _"_

Alastor responded almost _too_ quickly, unconvincingly flat-toned behind a smiling poker-face.

"- in any case, it wasn't anything flattering. Not that it matters, coming from _him_ , but I digress -"

He kept walking for about a minute, before he came to a reluctant stop. Aiming a wary gaze over his shoulder at Angel, he sighed:

"... what do you know about manicures?"

* * *

"I know how to do my own - why?"

Angel looked at Alastor's face as he paused near him. "Are you asking for yourself or for Pentious? 'Cause I charge extra for annoying snakes." he grinned.

* * *

Loathe as he was to admit it, _Sir_ Pentious was Impeccably attractive ... for what was essentially a giant literal **_cobra_**. But only in the aesthetic sense, as his egomaniac tendencies and delusions of unwarranted grandeur left **plenty** to be desired.

Rolling his shoulders with nigh indignation, Alastor confessed: "For _me_ , obviously."

* * *

Angel needed a second to process the _Radio Demon_ wanting to get a manicure. But then again, who was he to judge?

* * *

Resigning himself to his fate, the deer pulled off his right glove: _"This_ is what he did to me -"

The nails on the hand had been meticulously filed, appearing neat and clean and just a bit shorter than was apparently natural for the length of the fingers. And they had been painted a glossy black, that shone with an iridescent sheen reminiscent of the snake's own scales.

Irked by the visual, Alastor continued: "And **this** is why he did it -"

When he pulled off his left glove, the difference was like night and day.

* * *

In an instant, the spider's expression went from slight amusement to deep concern.

"- **_fuck_** , Al! I'm pretty sure some of that hurts!" he exclaimed.

* * *

The deer shrugged. He knew it was bad. The nails were all at different lengths, and several bore chips which peeled back severely at their worst. And there was also the sorry condition of the cuticles, dry and stained with the accumulation of _who-knows-what_ from the Radio Demon's regular meals, despite his best efforts to wash away the evidence.

"Truth be told, I just don't feel it anymore." he explained. "This is just how it's _always_ been ... though perhaps not to _this_ extent. In life I was told it was an iron deficiency, among other things ..."

Quickly withdrawing the graphic details, Alastor shoved his hand back into its glove and out of sight. "But you've _seen_ how I eat - anymore blood in my diet and it'd be be the double-death of me! _Or_ I'd have to start calling myself a vampire. Either way ..."

* * *

"Why didn't you ask before? You didn't have to go and fight Pen just so he could leave half the work undone!"

Gazing down the hall in the direction of his room, Angel then looked back towards Alastor. "I can help, you know ..."

* * *

Catching the spider's line of sight, Alastor felt any protest he might have had die deep down in his throat. Taking the hint, he averted his gaze with a stubborn bashfulness, before stuttering out:

"Just ... _lead the way."_

* * *

* * *

When they reached Angel's room, the spider entered first.

"Make yourself comfortable."

There was the bench in front of the vanity and the bed to choose from.

* * *

The deer followed in after him, and noted his limited seating options. On the airship, there had been a table specifically suited for the task, that had allowed the inexperienced overlord to sit across from his manic 'mentor' while his hands were carefully fretted over and inspected under a myriad of lenses and strange colored lights -

Angel had _no_ such resources. But it was just as well, because Alastor preferred sensibility over _fancifulness_. It was why he chose the bed, because it was large enough to seat the both of them and even out their height difference. And he was already embarrassed enough that in any case, he could overlook whatever intimacy could be implicated, thereof.

"... I didn't 'fight' with Pentious, by the way -" he sulked, possessed by an irrational need to clarify. Because he _didn't_ want Angel to get the wrong impression and think he'd thrown a tantrum. Like a _child_ ...

"- he _insisted_. The only reason he didn't finish was because he said he'd need the rest of the day to clean out his instruments before tackling the other half. And because I didn't go back ... "

* * *

"Strange. But It could be worse, Al. You just need to take care of it a bit -"

Nail file, clippers, and some cream, among others - Angel had all of the tools he would need.

As he took the glove off of Alastor's hand, he looked for a second ... _That could not be comfortable._

"Don't worry." he assured the deer, smiling confidently. "It's gonna feel so much better once we are done here."

He started by first clipping the nails and carefully filing them down, in order to get rid of their uncomfortable edges. Then he took the cream and began to massage it onto the each finger, so that it would soften and nourish the skin.

* * *

Aside from the slight tingle of his glove sliding off, Alastor kept very still. He was patient as the spider went about his procedure, focusing on the way his hand was transformed before his very eyes.

_... But then came the unexpected massage_. The demon gave a nervous titter as Angel's fingertips stroked up and along his digits -

"- you know, the fool _barely_ touched my hands! He used all these little _tools_ , instead -"

The silken-touch traveled, soothing the chaffing between his joints. And soon it was joined by Angel's thumb, which pressed deeply into a bundle of long-neglected nerves.

"- I, uh ... _haha_ -!"

Overwhelmed, Alastor bit back an awkward and all-too sensuous moan.

* * *

"It will help me with the last part." Angel explained, so concentrated on his task that he nearly forgot the hand he held was attached to someone else.

"It'll soften the cuticles and ... uh ..."

At least, until it grew tense in his grasp. The spider stopped in his ministrations, realizing that maybe he was touching too much. "Are you okay?"

* * *

"... am I _**ever**?"_

Dazed, the deer could only grin and nod as he feigned innocence. He didn't quite remember being so ... _sensitive_. But Angel had also said they were almost done, hadn't he?

* * *

Angel didn't release him just yet, but his hold on Alastor did turn lighter. The deer's behavior wasn't helping as embarrasment slowly began to dawn on him ... "Should I stop ..?"

* * *

"No, _no_ , my dear! It is _**fine**!_ -"

Alastor snapped back to reality just in time to clasp the most distracting of Angel's hands. And sandwiching it between his own, he gave it an apologetic squeeze, enthusiastically taking the opportunity to flex away his earlier tension in the process.

"I mean, we've almost finished, why bother stopping it now?"

With a hearty pat to Angel's wrist, he finally released the spider's hand, his earlier discomfort disguised for now. (Though, could it **_really_** be called a "discomfort", when it had felt **quite** the opposite? ...)

"- how about I do something for you in return? To make up for your trouble!"

* * *

Angel felt a small blush form on his face.

"Oh! It's nothing, Al ... really!"

* * *

" _Nonsense!_ Consider it a fair trade!"

 _If only he could relax, now_ ... And if only he'd known he'd be turned sensitive by decades of glove-wearing. He would have forsaken his gauntlets, despite their convenience ...

* * *

Angel resumed his work. With one of his extra hands, he picked up the cuticle pusher, making sure to remove the uncomfortable ends of callouses that stuck out from Alastor's fingers -

"There!" the spider said, with some amount of relief as he finished and let go of the deer's hand. "That should be enough. But ... wait -"

Looking around, he picked up a small bottle of transparent nail polish. "This can help with weaker nails. And it has no color, if that bothers you ..."

Worried that maybe it didnt sound like a real offer, he also added: "But I can do it again for you if you need me, no problem!"

* * *

Just as he began to pull away his hand, Angel was offering to finish him off with a polish. It made sense ... But then he would have to wait for it to dry ... decisions, decisions ...

"... I. I _suppose_ I can't argue with that. Wouldn't want to trouble you again so soon after, _would_ I?"

* * *

There it was - the reminder that Alastor was _very_ particular about his being touched. And the phrasing ...

_**I had to make it sound all weird ... what kind of idiot am I? I'm just supposed to be helping him ...** _

* * *

Alastor eyed the small bottle of clear polish - it was definitely preferable to Pentious' black.

Taking solace in that he would at least know what to expect for this part, he offered up his hand again -

"... whenever you're ready. I'm just your _canvas_ , after all~"

There would _definitely_ be a sensation. But at least it would be nowhere near as riling as what Angel had done to him just a few moments ago.

* * *

The spider's face lit up.

"I have enough makeup for a whole fashion show," he warned. "So ... careful with your offers, _smiles_ ~"

Because Alastor could look _very_ good, if only he'd let Angel try ... it could actually be fun, in fact!

* * *

Alastor laughed, somewhat nervously - he hadn't offered _anything_ of that sort yet.

"I don't normally wear makeup. But if _that's_ the hill you're willing to double-die on ..."

At the very least, further humiliation was a welcome distraction from the heavy caress of the cool, wet brush upon his nails.

"... so long as you keep it **_tasteful_** _."_

* * *

"Oh no! And here I was starting to plan your drag debut already ..."

Sticking his tongue out, Angel joked as he began to apply the nail polish. "Don't worry - I just wanted to see how you would look with a light touch of color here and there. I think you could really rock it."

And now that Alastor's hand was more decent looking, Angel just had to admire it. "There! Next time just look for me. And clip them regularly at least, if they keep breaking like that."

* * *

Alastor rolled his eyes. _"Very funny."_

Once his hand had been returned to him, he couldn't help comparing Angel's work to Pentious'. The spider was nowhere near as precise nor as pristine as the serpent. But ... he'd been _considerate_ , rather than critical.

Blowing lightly on his nails, the deer felt like an idiot for his earlier conflict of pride. He'd do his best to follow the spider's regiment - _not_ that he'd mind his assistance again. _Not_ that he was looking forward to this again, and _not_ because he hadn't enjoyed it -

He changed the subject.

"I'm sure it's no secret by now just _how_ many of my contacts happen to be women. So I'll admit - I _have_ always been a bit curious about this ... _fascination_ you seem keen on indulging _."_

Even if he were just to go through the motions of it. "Radio doesn't _exactly_ require that I keep meticulous about my complexion, so it's just never been something I've had to concern myself with. And I suppose there's always male privilege at play, too ..."

Teasing, he shot Angel a grin. "Not that _you_ let it stop you~"

* * *

"Not for a second." Angel affirmed. "But we _can_ try, if you're really letting me." He brought out a box filled with kits, and began to contemplate the different palettes as he considered variables like the occasion and clothes ... "The key is to make it work for **_your_** face, **_your_** skin color ..."

He settled on just a bit of blush, some mascara, and a simple lip-gloss. And because this was supposed to be for fun, he also added in a set of cat eyes - just so that he could appreciate the pretty way they made Alastor's features stand out.

* * *

As Angel worked, Alastor focused on memorising where and _how_ the spider was applying the makeup. Because while he'd seen it being done by plenty of others before, to finally feel it upon his _own_ face ...

There was a pleasant tickle, followed by the frightening bit with the mascara. And then there was a different sort of ticklish, that caused him to giggle aloud. Because it was just _hard_ trying and keep his lips together, when they were so obviously accustomed to his wider, toothy grins -

He didn't gather much of anything as Angel lined his eyes, if only because he found it impossible to _not_ blink during the process. But when that was done -

* * *

"Done!" Angel said, handing over a mirror. "Didn't want to overdo it. You look great, if you ask me.”

* * *

"... do I _really_ look like that?"

The reflection staring back at him was still Alastor. And it wasn't like he'd expected a complete transformation, like when Angel put on his drag. But features he never really paid attention to had been accentuated ... this was a _different_ version of Alastor, that the spider had apparently been able to spot amongst the rest ...

"My eyes are so big ... I suppose I really _am_ sort of doe-eyed, aren't I?" he murmured, tracing his fingers along his jaw as he viewed himself from different angles. He wasn't sure if he was delighted or horrified by what he was seeing, because it was so _uncanny_. Nevertheless, it was an _excellent_ job. And it had seemed so _easy_ -

_"Angel."_

Alastor glanced up at his beautician, then blinked his large and enhanced eyes alluringly at him. Wondering if he should flutter his eyelashes for further effect, as he sometimes did for Vaggie ...

"Do you think I could try? On _you?"_

 _... better not._ Knowing his luck, something would fall into his eyes - _  
_

With his glossed grin soft and charming, he simply blinked again as he continued to plead solely with his gaze.

* * *

Angel's smile became bigger - _this charming idiot._

"Of course! I'll let you try!" he said, gesturing towards his own face while declaring. "My makeup is your makeup!"

* * *

**_Success_** _!_ Though Alastor ... wasn't _exactly_ sure what he was looking for, as he went through Angel's collection. Some things like liner were easy enough to identify - he chose a simple black pencil. And the blush he kept the same, because he really _couldn't_ see the difference between all the different shades. He opted for a lipstick, because it seemed more familiar to him than gloss. And he omitted _any_ mascara, because he wasn't sure how confident he was about _not_ poking it straight into Angel's _many_ eyes, the largest of which were bigger than even _his_ own.

All-in-all, the deer's chosen palate was limited. But he'd try and make the best of it. Starting with the liner, he traced the shape of Angel's eyes, gently coaxing the spider to close them because it seemed easier that way.

"I think I've seen Mimzy do something like this before ... it'll just be a moment, if I can figure this out ..."

* * *

"Take your time." Angel chuckled, staying still as he tried to ignore Alastor looming around his face.

* * *

_There!_ Using his thumb and forefinger, the deer then continued his application, smudging the dark color around and up onto a pale eyelid for a smoky effect. _Just_ like the silverscreen actors and actresses of his day had worn for their black-and-white films.

"Oh, this is _delightful!"_

Satisfied with the result, Alastor moved onto the other side before he prompted Angel to open his eyes again. The demon seemed entirely too pleased as he admired his handiwork, gushing as he stared straight at the spider.

* * *

"Of course it is - I'm just that gorgeous. So long as you don't poke my extra eyes." he warned him.

Maybe the small pinkish-eyes weren't that sensitive ... but they could still _hurt_.

* * *

He wondered if he should proceed with the blush next, or if he should try out the lipstick. And if the order _really_ mattered, now that he thought about it -

"Well, I **did** just get my nails trimmed. So if you _do_ get poked - really, you'll just have to blame yourself for it, won't you?"

Sticking out the tip of his tongue, Alastor briefly ran the tips of his fingers over it, cleaning them of any of the remaining liner. He felt inspired, and he wanted to avoid smudging for the next step. Going off the comment about "extra eyes", the deer decided to improvise a blush pattern that would double as an "eyeshadow" for the small pink spots that lined the spider's cheeks -

* * *

"Okay, I won't complain!"

The Radio Demon's red eyes moved around with their typical soft glow, barely perceived by the spider's secondary set of eyes. And his hands on him were so gentle and warm, that It made him panic a bit - Angel couldn't help feeling dumbfounded by Alastor's actions.

* * *

Prodding gently, he tried to spare Angel any discomfort as he went along, tinging color onto the fuzzy white area. Until he was done -

"... it's kind of endearing, actually."

He tilted Angel's chin a bit for an angled view, seemingly charmed by the effect. Before he moved on to the lipstick, next - and of _course_ Alastor had chosen red. Placing a sensitive fingertip to the center of Angel's lips as if shushing him, the deer visualised his starting point and plotted out how he'd approach a mouth that nearly bisected its own face.

"Maybe if I just ... _no_ , but maybe **this** .. _yes, that's it!"_

* * *

The four arms in Angel's lap stirred as he felt his lips being touched. But other than that he kept his face neutral, merely humming at Alastor's comments as he tried to get himself to relax. 

* * *

The Radio Demon began to line the spider's lips a thin red, all the while concentrating on keeping the angle of his hand steady. And it didn't take too long; he only needed to contain his color to a very specific region. Just near the middle, small and coquettish and nearly shaped like a heart -

Not that the spider _wasn't_ already coquettish enough as it was ... Amused by the thought, Alastor huffed and held Angel's face steady with one hand, using his thumb to stretch out the skin as needed while his other hand filled in the color. It was a lot like firming up a loose canvas for paint, and as he continued to work his way out from the center he found that the skin became firmer, allowing him to speed up his process.

Just as he finished one side and was putting the finishing details on the other, however, two mishaps occurred:

1.) The first was the tapered tip of the lipstick snapping away. It caused Alastor to slip and left a bright red streak in its wake, that went right over and up past the corner of Angel's mouth. The deer inhaled sharply:

"I - I can fix it! Nothing that can't just be wiped away -"

2.) The second was Alastor trying to fix it. He leaned closer, carefully using the edge of his thumb to try and scrape the mess away ... Except he wasn't wearing his gloves. And because his natural nails were much too short to aid in much of anything, he only succeeded in further smearing the color around.

"..."

He should have been horrified - he'd made a _mess_ of Angel's face! But instead the visual struck an entirely different chord within him. Briefly, he found himself recalling a similar sight - of Angel's lips stained a different, familiar red. Within a darkness consumed by celestial heat and the sins of the damned -

And he felt himself stare as he tenderly brushed his thumb back along the spider's lower lip. Teasing and all-too curious as he wondered if the gentle pressure pushing back against him would taste just as firm as it felt beneath his touch ...

* * *

What had started as a simple distraction was now getting to be too much for _Angel's_ taste. **_What was Alastor doing?_ **-

"Ah, it's okay! I will do it!" the spider said quickly, suddenly very aware of their closeness as he gently took Alastor's hand away. "It happens ... it's no big deal."

* * *

"Ah ... _yes_. Of course -"

The deer came back to his senses just as Angel took over, and pulled himself away the rest of the way. Lowering dark eyelashes, Alastor withdrew his gaze, feeling troubled by the realisation of what he'd almost done ...

* * *

With his mirror and a makeup wipe, Angel was able to easily get rid of the stains of stray lipstick.

"It looks very good, Al. You were paying attention." he said, hoping that the compliment would help quell the awkwardness.

* * *

Looking back towards Angel, Alastor couldn't help but feel that maybe the spider was being a bit _too_ generous.

"You don't have to sugar-coat it. I ... I slipped." he corrected him, because it wasn't _just_ about the makeup.

* * *

"I'm not! You did fine on the rest of it -"

Angel could feel his heart going back to normal. _Finally_ \- it had spent the last few minutes skipping several beats.

"... With a bit of time, you could probably get pretty good!"

* * *

He snuck a glance at Angel - he hadn't done a _terrible_ job on him. It could even be called decent ... But that didn't matter anymore. Not when it suddenly felt like he was drowning, his breath stolen by some renegade emotion he'd long suppressed because he'd thought himself _incapable_ of expression -

"Perhaps ... though I doubt you'll want me near your face again -"

Giving a strained smile, Alastor disappeared behind his hands, feeling mortified. How could he look at him, after such a near-episode?

* * *

He didn't want to end their moment just yet ... but he was starting to get sleepy. Maybe now was good time as any to stop and call it an night.

"I'll tell you what - I will take a picture. And when you feel bored enough to try again, we can compare them." Angel said, taking a selfie with his phone as he waited for Alastor's answer.

* * *

It was highly unlikely that Alastor would consider doing this again. Not for the longest while. But he couldn't reject Angel's offer, either. Not when the spider was so clearly making an effort for him despite everything. There was just one problem -

"Angel, that's not ... I **_can't_** _."_

It was a gentle sneer; he was irritated with himself, but not enough to take it out on anyone just yet. As his face re-emerged, the deer took a moment to glare at the makeup supplies strewn across the bed. Before he casually offered up a meek smile - _why the hell not?_

"Just make it _quick._ "

He didn't bother posing - he already **_knew_** it wasn't going work. But that didn't mean the gesture was worth any less ... right?

* * *

Angel took the picture anyway, seeing as how it was being offered.

"I will be there to see you try again."

And as he smiled at the Radio Demon, the spider tried to find words that wouldn't just turn into nervous babbling. "Here -"

He offered the deer makeup wipes and a cloth handkerchief. He kept several around for drying off makeup remover.

"it's getting a bit late and I should probably catch some sleep soon ... but this was fun! Maybe later on we can try having those cooking lessons ..?"

* * *

_The cooking lessons!_ "Oh, yes, but of course!"

This had gotten far more intimate and incriminating than Alastor had been hoping for _or_ expecting. But perhaps he'd have a better sense of himself when it came to his own creative outlets ...

Ignoring the surge of fondness he suddenly felt at the prospect of future interactions, he took the offered supplies and started walking himself out backwards. "Good night, get yourself some rest! I'll be seeing you, now -"

_He was gone._

* * *

Saying goodbye, Angel let out a sigh of relief when Alastor finally left.

_**Everything was fine.** **What the fuck.**_

He wasn't sure when all of the butterflies in his belly would go away. And as he pushed his makeup off his of bed so that he could beneath the covers, he wondered: _ **how had that been so scary?  
** _

* * *

* * *

The deer felt weary as he collapsed into the nearest seat of Charlie's empty office. He planned to while away the hours here, ruminating in the dark about what he should _do_ , if anything -

 _"... perhaps_ I ought to start with my _face"_ , he reasoned, reminded of its state when he clutched the area between his eyes and felt the slippery residue of pigment. Laying out the wipes he'd been given across the arm of his chair, Alastor kept himself occupied.

Until it came time to use the handkerchief, with its lingering scent of Angel.

Alone, he whimpered. _" **Curses** ..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. was supposed to be posted 2 weeks ago, and then valentine's when that didn't work but ... ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ guess it's mardis gras 🎭 have an art to make up for the wait?
> 
> [ ](https://twitter.com/ornithia_tsen/status/1361702777198534658)
> 
> 2\. also, thinking about delaying weekly updates to maybe once every 2 weeks instead, just to try to balance out editing chores with irl chores. will still attempt to update weekly when possible, just a thought.
> 
> -ornithia
> 
> Angel Dust would most like to:  
>   
> A. Be a black widow  
> B. Be a Broadway star  
> C. Be a housewife  
> D. All of the above

**Author's Note:**

> The tags will update with chapters ... so _:̢:s̕ta͜y ͏t̴u̧n͝ȩd̕ ...̵::_ 📻👀
> 
> _Like, comment, and subscribe!_


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